Rated PG Opens: November 21, 2012 Studio: DreamWorks Starring: Chris Pine, Alec Baldwin, Hugh Jackman, Isla Fisher and Jude Law Directed by: Peter Ramsey
Rated PG-13 Opens: November 21, 2012 Studio: Film District Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Josh Peck, Josh Hutcherson, Adrianne Palicki and Isabel Lucas Directed by: Dan Bradley
STARRING
Chris Hemsworth as JED ECKERT
Adrianne Palicki as TONI
Josh Hutcherson as ROBERT
Josh Peck as MATT ECKERT
Isabel Lucas as ERICA
Jeffrey Dean Morgan as COL. ANDY TANNER
Connor Cruise as DARYL JENKINS
STARRING
Irrfan Khan as OLDER PI
Suraj Sharmas PI PATEL
Gerard Depardieu as FRENCHMAN
Rafe Spall as THE WRITER
Tabu as PI’S MOTHER
Adil Hussain as PI’S FATHER
Kevin’s picks on DVD this week:The Expendables 2, Tarantino XX 8-Film Collection, Santa Buddies: Santa Pups, Cinderella II/Cinderella III Blu-ray and Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: The Series Stinker of the week:Heaven’s Gate
Rated PG-13 Opens: November 16, 2012 Studio: Summit Entertainment Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli and Elizabeth Reaser Directed by: Bill Condon
Kevin says The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part II SUCKS!
Rated R Opens: November 16, 2012 Studio: The Weinstein Company Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, Bradley Cooper, Julia Stiles and Chris Tucker Directed by: David O. Russell
THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN – PART II (PG-13) *1/2 (out of 5)
November 16, 2012
STARRING
Kristen Stewart as BELLA SWAN
Robert Pattinson as EDWARD CULLEN
Taylor Lautner as JACOB BLACK
Peter Facinelli as DR. CARLISLE CULLEN
Elizabeth Reaser as ESME CULLEN
Ashley Greene as ALICE CULLEN
This Week: Kevin and Kristin run all a-sparkle into the Magical Studio in the Sky to squeal and discuss the latest and (God help us) last Twilight movie: Breaking Dawn: Part II. But before that, Kevin shares his war stories of surviving the near-deadly Red Dawn Brawl of 2012 (which was quite possibly as crazy as the I Am Legend Scuffle Kerfuffle of 2007). They also talk about Silver Linings Playbook and Kevin gloats about his accuracy in James Bond box office predictions. Then, it’s onto the DVD Round-Up before curling up in a ball and weeping at the loss of the Twilight films from our collective popular culture.
STARRING
Kiera Knightley as ANNA KARENINA
Matthew Macfadyen as OBLONSKY
Jude Law as KARENIN
Aaron Taylor-Johnson as COUNT VRONSKY
Kelly Macdonald as DOLLY
STARRING
Anthony Hopkins as ALFRED HITCHCOCK
Helen Mirren as ALMA REVILLE
Scarlett Johansson as JANET LEIGH
Danny Huston as WHITFIELD COOK
Toni Collette as PEGGY ROBERTSON
Jessica Biel as VERA MILES
OSNAP: Did I Just Say ‘Clitoris’?
After a grueling two-week hiatus, thanks to the devastating effects of Hurricane Sandy on the Eastern seaboard, Merrill finally returns to the Magical Studio in the Sky a bit soggy but still hopping mad. He celebrates his return by declaring there will never be a piece of technology that will throw him for a loop as he gets older. He also mispronounces the word “clitoris,” so take all that bluster with a grain of salt. Kevin seeks to enlighten Merrill on the great Peter North and how pornography actually works. The education continues with a bizarrely cogent explanation of the Electoral College. But things get crazy again in the final segment when Kevin tells the story of how old people are scared of computers and that he is still determined to make his chubby beefcake calendar. Oh, snap!