Rated PG-13 Opens: March 1, 2013 Studio: New Line Cinema Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Eleanor Tomlinson, Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci and Eddie Marsan Directed by: Bryan Singer
Rated R Opens: March 1, 2013 Studio: Relativity Media Starring: Miles Teller, Justin Chon, Skylar Astin, Sarah Wright and Francois Chau Directed by: Jon Lucas and Scott Moore
This Week: Kevin returns from a tropical vacation, sunburned and offended at everyone being offended at the Oscar shenanigans this weekend. Kristin welcomes him back to the Magical Studio in the Sky, thankful that he showered before the show. They cram in a lot of movie talk, including reviews of Jack the Giant Slayer, 21 & Over and Phantom. They also give a preview of the ridiculously-named The Last Exorcism: Part II. Finally, they talk about DVDs and how it relates to drinking and vampires, then send everyone on their way thinking about the Oscar chances of Butt.
OSNAP: Ass and Titties
This week, Kevin returns form a weekend in the tropics, where he spent his time leering at bikini-clad ladies on a cruise ship, stuffing his face with an array of foodstuffs and getting a blotchy sunburn thanks to the Bahamian sun. Merrill stayed at home, of course, being Merrill. Kevin shares his stories about near-disastrous (and near-assterous) TSA searches, fat bellies over bikinis and why you should always try to get a handicapped room on a cruise ship. Merrill also shares a story of a Twitter feud and why some people should have their fingers cut off. Eventually they end on some Oscar talk and why people just shouldn’t get so offended, the cunts. Oh, snap!
Kevin’s picks on DVD this week:Phineas and Ferb: The Perry Files – Animal Agents, The Master, Breaking Dawn: Parts I & II, Chasing Mavericks and How to Survive a Plague
Mission Objective: While trying to transfer documents relating to Kevin Carr’s secret recipe for gazpacho, Merrill and Rob come under attack at the hands of the evil Hash Aguirre and must fight there way through or die at the hands of the CIA… Oh, and they talk ass-kicking Nikita.
STARRING
Dwayne Johnson as JOHN MATTHEWS
Barry Pepper as AGENT COOPER
Jon Bernthal as DANIEL JAMES
Susan Sarandon as JOANNE KEEGHAN
Michael K. Williams as MALIK
Rafi Gavron as JASON COLLINS
Rated PG-13 Opens: February 22, 2013 Studio: Summit Entertainment Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Susan Sarandon, Barry Pepper, Harold Perrineau and Jon Bernthal Directed by: Ric Roman Waugh
ATLAS SHRUGGED PART II: THE STRIKE Blu-ray Review (PG-13) MOVIE: *1/2 (out of 5) BLU-RAY EXPERIENCE: **1/2 (out of 5)
STARRING
Samantha Mathis as DAGNY TAGGART
Jason Beghe as HENRY REARDEN
Esai Morales as FRANCISCO D’ANCONIA
Patrick Fabian as JAMES TAGGART
Kim Rhodes as LILLIAN REARDEN
Richard T. Jones as EDDIE WILLERS
This Week: Kevin and Kristin pull out their Oscar ballots and make predictions on the big awards. But before they face the Argo/Lincoln conundrum, they take a look at the two terrible movies new to theaters this week: Snitch and Dark Skies. They also throw some DVD and Blu-ray suggestions in there for good measure, along with a listener email. And Kevin also tries to channel Tyler Perry to disastrous effect.
OSNAP: I’m Sure Your Thing Is Nice and Long
This week, Merrill and Kevin announce an impromptu contest featuring a prize of Kevin’s krump sweat. Then, Kevin schools Merrill on the science of Metamucil while Merrill continues more stories of his computer woes. There’s a brief moment where Merrill shines with how connected he is, but Kevin soon strikes him down with talk of porn star Alexis Texas and her career choices. They continue with some news stories about stripping room mothers and how to masturbate in public with the simple excuse, “It fell out.” Finally, Kevin wraps things up with some interesting stories from the front lines of being a modern parent. Oh, snap!
Rated R Opens: February 14, 2013 Studio: 20th Century Fox Starring: Bruce Willis, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jai Courtney and Megalyn Echikunwoke Directed by: John Moore