CONAN THE DESTROYER
(PG)
MOVIE: ** (out of 5)
BLU-RAY EXPERIENCE: *1/2 (out of 5)
BY KEVIN CARR
If Universal was going to release “Conan the Barbarian” on Blu-ray for the first time, why not pair it up with the lackluster sequel “Conan the Destroyer.” While Schwarzenegger was more buff for this film and wore a more recognizable Conan-esque outfit in the movie, “Destroyer” was a huge step down from the visceral ecstasy of “Barbarian.”
The wacky story follows Conan as he teams up with a thief (played by the androgynously sexy and terrifying Grace Jones) to help a teen princess (played by the alarmingly underaged and gorgeous Olivia d’Abo) and her bodyguard (played by the woefully out-of-place Wilt Chamberlain) to retrieve the Magic Horn of Dagoth. It’s another quest, but shot as a PG film. So there’s far less barbarism, no breasts and no one having sex with a demon woman who explodes in the fire.
There’s a goofy MST-3K quality about “Conan the Destroyer” that aims for family friendly but tries to be sexy as well, something we saw a lot of in the 80s. It’s got the look, the costumes and the set pieces, but the story, characters and power of the film is sorely lacking. Sure, it’s better than the later attempt at “Red Sonja,” which features Schwarzenegger as non-Conan (for rights reasons), but not by much.
The Blu-ray has much fewer features than that of “Conan the Barbarian,” offering only the theatrical trailer and the now-standard BD-Live and pocketBLU access.