Rated PG-13
Opens: December 21, 2012
Studio: Summit Entertainment
Starring: Naomi Watts, Ewan McGregor and Tom Holland
Directed by: Juan Antonio Bayona
Kevin says The Impossible kinda rocks!
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This Week: Kevin and Kristin dust off the debris from the holidays and get back to the grind of work for the first show of 2013. They kick off the year by discussing two award films and one decidedly not-award film: Texas Chainsaw 3D, Promised Land and The Impossible. (You’ll have to guess which one isn’t up for any awards.) They also chat about Kevin’s insane projects for 2013, including his beefcake calender, as well as come up with some new Christmas traditions to start next year. Finally, they wrap things up with some DVD and Blu-ray ideas for gift-card purchases before saying good-bye for another week.
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OSNAP: That’s Why They Invented Bathtubs
Well, the end of the world didn’t happen, so you’re stuck with the OSNAP gang for at least another Mayan b’ak’tun. As the new year kicks off, Kevin and Merrill reflect on 2012 and the changes that happened, like puberty in a pimply teenager. Merrill looks back on his struggles, and Kevin personally blames Merrill for the death of Jesus. Kevin tells some stories about traveling to his grandmother’s funeral over the break and how the culture of the area is just a bit different up the mountain. He also bemoans the ridiculous liquor laws in Pennsylvania that promote alcoholism more than prevent teenagers from buying beer. They also talk a little bit about poop and farts, too. Oh, snap!
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This Week: Taking full credit for the end of the world not happening last week, Kevin and Kristin triumphantly return to the Magical Studio in the Sky to celebrate the end of the year. Of course, with all the movies already opening on Christmas Day (which was this past Tuesday, folks), they’re a little behind already. That doesn’t stop them from talking about Parental Guidance, Django Unchained and Les Miserables, which Kevin cannot pronounce. They also talk about the great cinematic moments of 2012 and look ahead to what they’re anticipating in 2013.
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Rated R
Opens: December 25, 2012
Studio: The Weinstein Company
Starring: Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Samuel L. Jackson and Kerry Washington
Directed by: Quentin Tarantino
Kevin says Django Unchained ROCKS!
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Rated PG-13
Opens: December 25, 2012
Studio: Universal
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried and Sacha Baron Cohen
Directed by: Tom Hooper
Kevin says Les Miserables kinda rocks!
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In this very special very special episode: Da7e Gonzales tries to blow up The Magical Studio In The Sky but is stopped thanks to the efforts of agent Barr and his crack team of Marvel assassins. Oh, and some Homeland talk too.
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Rated PG-13
Opens: December 21, 2012
Studio: Paramount
Starring: Tom Cruise, Rosamund Pike, Robert Duvall, James Martin Kelly and Jai Courtney
Directed by: Christopher McQuarrie
Kevin says Jack Reacher kinda sucks!
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Rated R
Opens: December 21, 2012
Studio: Universal
Starring: Leslie Mann, Paul Rudd, Megan Fox, Jason Segel and Chris O’Dowd
Directed by: Judd Apatow
Kevin says This Is 40 SUCKS!
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This Week: Since the world is ending, Kevin and Kristin decide to continue talking about movies. They weigh in on the so-called family comedies The Guilt Trip and This Is Shit 40. They also talk a bit about Jack Reacher and whether Tom Cruise could kill anyone with a single punch. They also talk about Christmas plans, the box office, the coming Mayan apocalypse and cookies… always cookies. They also suggest some DVDs and Blu-rays, not that you’ll have time to buy them before the world ends.
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OSNAP: Upside-Down with a Twist
With the end of the world approaching in just a couple days, do Kevin and Merrill hunker down with their loved ones and enjoy each other’s company for their final days on this earth before Brian the Mayan Winged Serpent rains hellfire down on them? Nope. They get on the horn with each other and talk about utter nonsense. Things seem repetitive with some complaining about Twitter drama and overly critical critics of critics. But Merrill mixes things up with some choice words about the oft-unseen late-90s horror non-classic Jack Frost. Later, Kevin offers some creepy love for porn star Mia Malkova and her amazing flexibility. Kevin also lays down some ire about The Hollywood Reporter’s “Women in Entertainment 2012: Power 100” issue, and it has nothing to do with oral sex. Oh, snap!
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Rated PG-13
Opens: December 19, 2012
Studio: Paramount
Starring: Seth Rogen, Barbra Streisand, Yvonne Strahovski, Adam Scott and Michael Cassidy
Directed by: Anne Fletcher
Kevin says The Guilt Trip kinda rocks!
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Kevin’s picks on DVD this week: Pitch Perfect, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days, Premium Rush, Trouble with the Curve and Total Recall
Stinker of the week: Arbitrage
Kevin Carr’s DVD Rundown for 12/18/12
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Rated PG-13
Opens: December 14, 2012
Studio: Warner Bros.
Starring: Martin Freeman, Ian McKellan, Cate Blanchett, Hugo Weaving and Elijah Wood
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Kevin says The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey ROCKS!
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This Week: With only one major movie opening this week, Kevin and Kristin gather a team of dwarves and wizards to return to Middle Earth. There they talk about upper Michigan coldness with Deadfall and how handjobs and hot dogs changed American history in Hyde Park on Hudson. They also talk about that little independent film you’ve heard of called The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. In keeping with the spirit of Peter Jackson, this episode is presented in 48fps (which stands for 48 fat pudgy spasms). Kevin and Kristin also chat about DVDs and Blu-rays and learn how to properly say French words in movie titles.
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