WRONG TURN 5: BLOODLINES
(unrated)
MOVIE: *1/2 (out of 5)
DVD EXPERIENCE: * (out of 5)
STARRING
Doug Bradley as MAYNARD
Camilla Arfwedson as SHERIFF ANGELA
Simon Ginty as BILLY
Roxanne McKee as LITA
Paul Luebke as GUS
Oliver Hoare as JULIAN
Kyle Redmond-Jones as DEPUTY BIGGS
Studio: 20th Century Fox
Directed by: Declan O’Brien
BY KEVIN CARR
I’m a huge fan of horror movies. I’m also a huge fan of cheesy horror movies. Many of the various horror movie sequels over the year fall into this category. As terrible as some series will become after a really solid first film (I’m looking at you, “Hellraiser” and “The Prophecy”), there’s a certain entertainment value to these direct-to-video retreads.
Unfortunately, the “Wrong Turn” series is becoming more like the “Leprechaun” series than anything else. And the fact that it’s now casting smaller horror icons just makes things that much more sad.
This new version of “Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines” is a sequel or prequel. I really couldn’t tell. I really didn’t care, it was that bad. There’s a music festival happening in West Virginia every year, and the mutant inbred cannibal rednecks are using it as an opportunity to do some murdering and eating. Their ringleader (Doug Bradley, best known as Pinhead from “Hellraiser”), who is not mutated for some reason, is put in the local jail, and he’s waiting for his sons to help him escape. Caught in the middle is a zealous female sheriff and a bunch of pot-smoking college kids heading to the music festival.
Where “Wrong Turn 3” and “Wrong Turn 4” offered some fun thrills along with a new angle on the series, “Wrong Turn 5” has no substance to it whatsoever. I never quite knew if I was supposed to root for the killers or the victims. The movie itself has a nihilistic approach of despair and brutality. But there’s little sympathy for any of the victims because they are either so rock stupid or just plain incompetent that they are unable to think their way out of the simplest situations.
Part of the fun of “Wrong Turn 4,” in particular, was that it had an awareness of its own genre. It placed horror movie cliches right in front of your face and played off their history. It was actually a very meta film.
But “Wrong Turn 5” seems to think it’s telling a terrifying story. The protagonist focus never picks anyone to get behind. And the villains are just too inexplicably in control of an out-of-control situation. Rather than being opportunists, which is how it is set up, they are bizarre game masters with no real explanation of why they’re there or how they do what they do. More over, there’s no real sense of chronology with the other films, not that I was all that interested in how this epic saga fit together anyway.
Does “Wrong Turn 5” deliver on the expected elements of boobs and blood? Sure, to a degree. However, Doug Bradley stains his name by being associated with such a stupid movie, making the show even more desperate.
I’m crossing my fingers for “Wrong Turn 6,” but I’m not making any bets on it.
The DVD comes bare bones, with no special features whatsoever.