Fat Guys at the Movies » The Stepfather

Kevin Carr’s DVD Rundown for 02/09/10

Kevin Carr — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:09:02 +0000

Kevin’s picks on DVD this week: Couples Retreat, Stargate Universe: Season 1.0, A Serious Man, The Time Traveler’s Wife and Midgets vs. Mascots.

Stinker of the week: The Stepfather.

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Kevin Carr’s Worst of 2009

Kevin Carr — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 11:08:21 +0000

It’s been a long year with both good and bad movies throughout. Fat Guy Kevin Carr lays down his picks for the worst films of 2009.

10. All About Steve
Sandra Bullock had three movies in 2009, two of which have garnered award nominations. This is the other one. She plays a crossword puzzle writer who falls in “love” with a news cameraman and then stalks him from job to job. It’s a non-traditional romantic comedy that fails because it ignores the formula… and the characters are just plain stupid.

9. My Sister’s Keeper
Nick Cassavetes, who gave us the weepy drama The Notebook, directs this adaptation of Jodi Picoult’s novel about a family that creates a child to be an organ and tissue farm for their other daughter who is dying of leukemia. It’s overly manipulative and has some of the cheesiest plot points and line deliveries ever.
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Read Kevin’s full review of My Sister’s Keeper here.

8. The Last House on the Left
Decades ago, Wes Craven and Sean Cunningham made a video nasty that left people stunned. It worked back then, but updated into a mainstream film, this story of rape, murder and revenge was just overly gratuitous and completely unnecessary.
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Read Kevin’s full review of The Last House on the Left here.

7. Orphan
I tend to like horror movies and can forgive a lot of idiocy of the characters, but in Orphan, the characters were just so stupid that I couldn’t give them any sympathy. And when all was said and done, the final twist was more laughable than shocking.
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Read Kevin’s full review of Orphan here.

6. My Life in Ruins
Nia Vardalos made it big once. Now, at age 47, she’s trying to be the romantic comedy lead, and she’s failing miserable. This love story about a woman finding the man of her dreams as a tour guide in Italy was short on the laughs but heavy on the contrived plot points. Can we say “one hit wonder”?
Read Kevin’s full review of My Life in Ruins here.

5. The Fourth Kind
I love a good story about UFOs, which is why I hated The Fourth Kind. It tried to be cute and clever with viral marketing that was completely useless. Feigning a “based on a true story” background, this film was a house of cards that couldn’t help but fall down.
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Read Kevin’s full review of The Fourth Kind here.

4. Not Easily Broken
This Tyler Perry wannabe film tries to slather on the relationship drama to tell the story of a couple ready to divorce. However, unlike a good film, things just work out for no good reason, and the characters remain as wretched as they began.
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3. Old Dogs
The writer and director of Wild Hogs tries to capture lightning in a bottle for a second time, and he fails miserably. John Travolta and Robin Williams are decent actors, but they have no chemistry and plod through this film of inexplicable situational non-comedy.
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Read Kevin’s full review of Old Dogs here.

2. The Stepfather
Dylan Walsh can’t even fit in Terry O’Quinn’s shoes in this softball remake of the 80s thriller. None of the characters have any relatability of empathy, and I really didn’t care whether the psychotic stepfather was going to kill them or not.
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Read Kevin’s full review of The Stepfather here.

1. Observe and Report
I’m all for inappropriate comedy, but I like more funny in my comedy. “Observe and Report” couldn’t decide whether it was going to be a dark comedy or a serious film, and the humor got completely lost in bad taste and misplaced violence. I love me some bad taste and violence, but at least have a sense of humor about it.
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Read Kevin’s full review of Observe and Report here.

Second Reel Episode 1 – Halloween Wrap-Up

Kevin Carr — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:09:09 +0000

On This Episode: Kevin welcomes Aaron Dean to talk about the 31 Horror Movies in October. Aaron had joined Kevin on several live-tweets of the horror movies leading up to Halloween.

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Films Discussed:
Zombieland (2009)
Bad Ronald (1974)
Van Helsing (2004)
Paranormal Activity (2009)
The Hills Run Red (2009)
Trick ‘r Treat(2009)
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Inside (2009)
Drag Me to Hell (2009)
Zombie (1979)
Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (1973)
The Signal (2007)
Waxwork (1988)
An American Werewolf In London (1981)
The Stepfather (2009)
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966)
Wrong Turn 3 (2009)
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (2009)
Who Can Kill a Child? (1976)
Saw VI (2009)
Martyrs (2008)
Audition (1999)
The Midnight Meat Train (2008)
The Stepfather (1987)
May (2002)

Music used in this episode:
“Gold Dust Woman” by Hole
“Sweet Dreams” by Marilyn Manson
“The Love Theme” from Audition
“Red Right Hand” by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Special thanks to Aaron Dean for selecting the music.

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Kevin Carr’s DVD Rundown for Halloween 2009

fatguy — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:21:44 +0000

Kevin’s picks on DVD this week: It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, Universal Horror Blu-rays, The Stepfather, Drag Me to Hell and Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween.

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Kevin’s Live-Tweet of ‘The Stepfather’

Kevin Carr — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 13:24:27 +0000

On October 26, Kevin live-tweeted the 1987 original thriller, The Stepfather to cleanse the awful taste in his mouth from the remake. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

October Horror Movie Day 26 is… “The Stepfather” (1987) Shout Factory just released for the first time on DVD. #kevincarr31horrormovies

STEPFATHER 00:15 – Starring LOST’s Terry O’Quinn. Already, I like him better than NIP/TUCK’s Dylan Walsh (and we’re not even past the cred)

STEPFATHER 01:30 – Like HALLOWEEN, movie opens with a lot of trees with leaves on ‘em (Cali), but also fall leaves on the ground (not Cali)

STEPFATHER 02:15 – Terry O’Quinn butt shot… if anyone’s into that.

STEPFATHER 03:00 – And there’s the John Locke we all know and love… nothing says psycho like an argyle sweater vest.

STEPFATHER 04:10 – Wow. Holy butcher shop, Batman. I already like this movie way better than the remake. This is twisted.

STEPFATHER 05:00 – Best part about this opening already… he just walks away. Doesn’t drive. Just… walks… away.

STEPFATHER 07:00 – How sweet. A leaf fight… but where did all these leaves come from? The trees are all green.

STEPFATHER 08:50 – Just because you give your step-daughter a puppy doesn’t mean you can stroke her arm in a creepy way.

STEPFATHER 10:15 – Suspended five times from school = trouble in 1987.

STEPFATHER 11:30 – Girlfight! With finger paints! Is this kindergarten or high school?

STEPFATHER 13:40 – Stephanie got expelled… but they just sent her home to tell her parents. WTF?

STEPFATHER 14:30 – Scariest thing about this movie is, I had friends in high school whose stepfathers were like this guy.

STEPFATHER 16:30 – Wow. It is freaking dark outside that window. Gotta love studio shooting.

STEPFATHER 18:30 – Nothing like watching MISTER ED as foreplay. And they say there are no warning signs.

STEPFATHER 19:45 – The biggest contributor to teen stereo use: Your parents doing it in the other room.

STEPFATHER 22:10 – The reporter who covered the murders didn’t know the ruggedly handsome guy was the dead wife’s sister. Great journalism.

STEPFATHER 24:50 – Jerry is very disturbed by today’s installment of Ziggy.

STEPFATHER 25:50 – I’m twelve years old! Why are you making me a newspaper pirate hat?

STEPFATHER 26:20 – Ahhhhh… a deep freeze in a horror movie. This is like putting a gun on the wall in act one.

STEPFATHER 27:00 – It’s always awkward when you catch your stepfather in a psychotic rant in the basement.

STEPFATHER 29:00 – So Stephanie is a better researcher than the lame reporter a couple scenes back.

STEPFATHER 30:10 – Hey, was that Borat in the background?

STEPFATHER 30:30 – “My 3 o’clock patient is a schitzophrenic, so I charge him double.” Ha! Mental illness is funny!

STEPFATHER 31:55 – Any mailbox with a little house glued on it is just asking to be hit with a baseball bat by a punk driving by.

STEPFATHER 33:40 – Jerry could have avoided this whole mess by not getting his psychotic 8×10 glossy head-shot

STEPFATHER 37:00 – “What do you plan on doing about it?” Police: “We got nothing.” We’re really terrible police

STEPFATHER 37:30 – I love this movie. The police detective told the vic’s brother to just “get a gun and blow the sonofabitch away.” Awesome

STEPFATHER 38:20 – The psychologist’s excuse for Jerry’s odd behavior:”We all do that.” Really? We all have psychotic rants in our basement?

STEPFATHER 40:20 – And cut on that awkward after-school special moment.

STEPFATHER 41:15 – Is that a Rick Springfield poster on Stephanie’s wall? That girl has great taste… for 1987.

STEPFATHER 42:45 – “I’m in stress management.” Apparently he works at a non-therapeutic massage parlor.

STEPFATHER 44:30 – This movie includes a scene from FOX’s new reality show: “When Realtors Attack!”

STEPFATHER 45:00 – That was definitely an effective murder scene… but who wouldn’t want to beat a psychologist with a 2×4?

STEPFATHER 46:50-The real reason for the crack down on mortgage licensing in recent years… so realtors don’t kill people at an open house.

STEPFATHER 48:40 – Whistling “Camp Town Races” always calms me down after a murder.

STEPFATHER 49:50 – I think Jerry needs Cherry Jones from SCARY MOVIE 4 to use a hot dog to explain to Stephanie how her doctor died.

STEPFATHER 52:50 – The birdhouse is a symbol of Jerry’s stability in his family (powered by violence)… or it’s just a birdhouse.

STEPFATHER 55:30 – Jerry’s been with the family for a year, and he still doesn’t know if Stephanie likes white or dark meat? Really?

STEPFATHER 56:30 – Get on my sweet ride… and by sweet ride I mean my hog… and by hog I mean my pastel-colored scooter.

STEPFATHER 58:30 – Whoa! This movie swerved back into the after-school special about teen sex.

STEPFATHER 1:00:30 – I am a bit curious as to how many serial killers plot their crime spree based on an article in a travel magazine.

STEPFATHER 1:01:45 – Nerdy secrateries with glasses are puddy in the hands of the ruggedly handsome brother.

STEPFATHER 1:02:50 – Stephanie makes a creepy, unscheduled visit to her shrink’s office. I’m turning the movie off if she smells something.

STEPFATHER 1:03:40 – The most convenient blotter ever seen in movie history. Better than a Franklin planner.

STEPFATHER 1:05:50 – All these years, and I’ve been wondering where I could pick up some pink butcher paper for my open house.

STEPFATHER 1:08:00 – I keep expecting Jerry to yell, “I drive a Dodge Stratus! People are afraid of me!” during this uncomfortable dinner.

STEPFATHER 1:10:00 – Yeah. There’s no doubt about it… Terry O’Quinn is way creepier than the PG-13 Dylan Walsh.

STEPFATHER 12:30 – This family shows the darker side of 80s shoulderpads and Tim Kazurinsky.

STEPFATHER 1:14:30 – The “Who am I here?” line is so much more effective in this than the remake

STEPFATHER 1:16:30 – Always when you’re in a hurry, you get stopped at a crosswalk with nuns and little kids.

STEPFATHER 1:16:50 – Well hello… Stephanie gets a nude shower scene. Yet another reason why this movie is awesome.

STEPFATHER 1:18:20 – Ruggedly handsome brother apparently only has his ruggedly handsome looks to go on… not smarts or defensive skillz.

STEPFATHER 1:20:00 – A rare sight in 80s horror: a high school girl who actually fights back. Excellent.

STEPFATHER 1:22:00 – Stephanie should really observe Rule #2 here: Double Tap.

STEPFATHER 1:24:30 – That was a much better ending than the remake. Very visceral. Very ugly. Very awesome.

STEPFATHER 1:25:10 – Again, we are reminded that the birdhouse is a symbol of Jerry… or it’s just a birdhouse.

STEPFATHER 1:25:55 – And ROLL CREDITS! And cue the totally tubular 80s synth music.

After watching THE STEPFATHER from 1987, I had to find this old SNL clip… http://bit.ly/eoVrq #idriveadodgestratus!

Jill Schoelen (Stephanie from 1987′s THE STEPFATHER) was also in the 80s PHANTOM OF THE OPERA and POPCORN (buy a bag, go home in a box)

@FakeRobHunter on Schoelen’s shower scene: “it’s okay if you want to lick the screen in admiration of her firm behind and chest apples”

Read more of @FakeRobHunter’s analysis of THE STEPFATHER at http://bit.ly/2xXE9b (FSR’s 31 Days of Horror 2009)

Final thoughts on THE STEPFATHER… cheesy 80s music, but still a great thriller. T.O’Quinn rules! Watch this on DVD instead of the remake.

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Movie Review: ‘The Stepfather’

Kevin Carr — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:55:28 +0000

Rated PG-13
Opens: October 16, 2009
Studio: Screen Gems
Starring: Dylan Walsh, Sela Ward, Penn Badgley, Amber Heard and Sherry Stringfield
Directed by: Nelson McCormick

Kevin says The Stepfather SUCKS!
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Video: Kevin Reviews Movies on FOX 28 – October 16, 2009

Kevin Carr — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:26:12 +0000

Fat Guy Kevin Carr rolled into the FOX 28 studios in Columbus, Ohio for a weekly movie review segment. This week, he talked about Where the Wild Things Are, Law Abiding Citizen and The Stepfather.

Check out Kevin’s TV appearance here:

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Episode 136 – Where the Fat Things Are

Kevin Carr — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:31:26 +0000

Fat Guys at the Movies is the official podcast of Film School Rejects

On This Week’s Show: Neil stuns the interwebs by once again seeing none of the new movies this week, but Kevin swoops in to save the day with his reviews of Where the Wild Things Are and Law Abiding Citizen. However, due to the fact that Screen Gems releases total crap, neither of them were afforded a chance to see The Stepfather, but that doesn’t stop the Fat Guys from offering their opinions. And speaking of opinions, in honor of Where the Wild Things Are, Kevin and Neil throw down a Fat Guy Five about great adaptations of children’s books before Neil makes a relatively creepy revelation about himself at the climax of the show.

Films Reviewed (and previewed) this Week: Where the Wild Things Are, Law Abiding Citizen and The Stepfather

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Episode Schedule:

Segment 1 [8:50] – Preview of The Stepfather

Segment 2 [10:40] – Reviews of Where the Wild Things Are and Law Abiding Citizen

Segment 3 [12:45] – Box office recap and the Fat Guy Five: Five Great Children’s Book Adaptations

Segment 4 [6:35] – DVD Round-Up: Neil’s picks are Drag Me to Hell and Futurama: The Complete Series; Kevin’s picks include Land of the Lost, The Proposal, The Legend of the Seeker: Season One, Nick Swardson: Seriously Who Farted?, Katt Williams: Pimpadelic and Natural Born Killers and How the Grinch Stole Christmas on Blu-ray; Review Recap and a look ahead to next week.