Fat Guys at the Movies » Terry O’Quinn

Idiot Boxers Review: LOST, Series Finale

Kevin Carr — Mon, 24 May 2010 16:38:48 +0000

TV review by Kevin Carr, co-host of The Idiot Boxers

Show: LOST
Airs: ABC, Tuesdays, 9pm (finale on Sunday, 9pm)
Episodes: Season Finale

So it’s over. What I consider to be one of the greatest television dramas ever to hit the small screen has finally come to an end, and it did so with a literal bang and just enough ambiguity to melt the social networking sites with wild theories and explanations.

But when all is said and done, it was relatively simple… at least in terms of LOST.

Having watched the show religiously (if you’ll pardon the pun) since the very first episode, I never lost interest. Sure, it got complex. Sure, it got crazy. Sure, it did things that you have never seen on network TV. But that’s what made the show interesting, and that’s what kept it fresh – from tropical polar bears to flashsidewaysverses.

Needless to say, this will contain spoilers, but it’s Monday morning, and if you haven’t watched the series finale yet, you might actually be living under a rock. There… you have been warned.

By the time we see the Oceanic logo of the cargo plane at the beginning of this final episode, appropriately entitled “The End,” I felt the show was less about revealing a surprise ending than reassuring us that it’s not copping out. We have the castaways (or what’s left of them) battling the Locke-Thing on the Island while alternate versions of themselves are in the flashsidewaysverse in slightly different life histories.

“The End” was broken into three parts. The first hour was about the final build-up to the climax. Jack is now the Island’s protector. Both he and the Locke-Thing are searching for Desmond. A now-aging Richard is frantically trying to leave with Miles. And Ben Linus still has no idea where his loyalties lie. It all leads up to Desmond literally tearing open the heart of the Island and the world possibly dropping out from under everyone.

The second part reminded us that this is the show that helped bring a cinematic look to television. Epic shots of the Island and the ocean served as a backdrop for a climactic battle between Jack and the Locke-Thing, and we get delivery on a one-on-one battle that we’ve been waiting for.

The third part rolls out to the explanations. There’s six years of twists to tie up, and the show does so with a decent amount of finesse that won’t please everyone but is still very fair and satisfying. We are told, flat-out, that the Island and the events on it were real, that this is the real universe. It goes along with the very clear message of the series, which even served as an episode’s title last year: “Whatever happened happened.”

For a show that has more than dipped its toe in spirituality for the past six years, it’s impossible to please everyone with its spiritual ending. It has to come across as non-denominational, and it did so the best it could. Even though the final guide was a man named Christian Shepherd seemed to be a silly pun from the first season rather than a message in the finale.

To use the word “purgatory” is too easy because neither the Island nor the flashsidewaysverse was such. Let’s not forget that the Island was real, and whatever happened outside of the flashsidewaysverse happened. Purgatory has such heavy implications of judgement and punishment, and that’s not what the flashsidewaysverse was… rather it was a staging area outside of space and time in which all these connected souls could find each other again, engineered by Hurley, the Island’s new protector.

Of course, the show wouldn’t be LOST without some unanswered questions. We never are quite told how Ben fit into the picture, and that’s left up to interpretation. (Personally, I think he was Hurley’s right-hand man in protecting the Island and orchestrating the flashsidewaysverse, and in the very end he remains there to spend time and repent with his daughter.) It is also not spelled out to us why Jack sees the plane flying overhead. (For me, it meant that was the point where he died, and he then entered the flashsidewaysverse, which starts at the beginning of the season.)

Further questions about why certain people weren’t at the church party (include Walt, Ana-Lucia and the many other supporting characters of the series) can be explained away with more mundane contract and actor issues. After all, Walt possibly looks older than Michael by now… and that dude wasn’t there because he was not identified as one of the “good people” in season two or even a candidate by Jacob.

I’ve got to hand it to the writers to keep some loose ends open just to keep chat rooms, Twitter and the interwebs ablaze with theories. However, all in all, I felt things were wrapped up nicely, letting us know that the Island was real, the characters were in real peril throughout and it wasn’t all a dream.

You will be missed, LOST. But it was a nice way to see you go.

Subscribe in iTunes

Call the Idiot Boxers at 740-205-6456
Email Kevin
Email Merrill
Follow Kevin on Twitter (@kevincarr)
Follow Merrill on Twitter (@sonic43)

Kevin’s Live-Tweet of ‘The Stepfather’

Kevin Carr — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 13:24:27 +0000

On October 26, Kevin live-tweeted the 1987 original thriller, The Stepfather to cleanse the awful taste in his mouth from the remake. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

October Horror Movie Day 26 is… “The Stepfather” (1987) Shout Factory just released for the first time on DVD. #kevincarr31horrormovies

STEPFATHER 00:15 – Starring LOST’s Terry O’Quinn. Already, I like him better than NIP/TUCK’s Dylan Walsh (and we’re not even past the cred)

STEPFATHER 01:30 – Like HALLOWEEN, movie opens with a lot of trees with leaves on ‘em (Cali), but also fall leaves on the ground (not Cali)

STEPFATHER 02:15 – Terry O’Quinn butt shot… if anyone’s into that.

STEPFATHER 03:00 – And there’s the John Locke we all know and love… nothing says psycho like an argyle sweater vest.

STEPFATHER 04:10 – Wow. Holy butcher shop, Batman. I already like this movie way better than the remake. This is twisted.

STEPFATHER 05:00 – Best part about this opening already… he just walks away. Doesn’t drive. Just… walks… away.

STEPFATHER 07:00 – How sweet. A leaf fight… but where did all these leaves come from? The trees are all green.

STEPFATHER 08:50 – Just because you give your step-daughter a puppy doesn’t mean you can stroke her arm in a creepy way.

STEPFATHER 10:15 – Suspended five times from school = trouble in 1987.

STEPFATHER 11:30 – Girlfight! With finger paints! Is this kindergarten or high school?

STEPFATHER 13:40 – Stephanie got expelled… but they just sent her home to tell her parents. WTF?

STEPFATHER 14:30 – Scariest thing about this movie is, I had friends in high school whose stepfathers were like this guy.

STEPFATHER 16:30 – Wow. It is freaking dark outside that window. Gotta love studio shooting.

STEPFATHER 18:30 – Nothing like watching MISTER ED as foreplay. And they say there are no warning signs.

STEPFATHER 19:45 – The biggest contributor to teen stereo use: Your parents doing it in the other room.

STEPFATHER 22:10 – The reporter who covered the murders didn’t know the ruggedly handsome guy was the dead wife’s sister. Great journalism.

STEPFATHER 24:50 – Jerry is very disturbed by today’s installment of Ziggy.

STEPFATHER 25:50 – I’m twelve years old! Why are you making me a newspaper pirate hat?

STEPFATHER 26:20 – Ahhhhh… a deep freeze in a horror movie. This is like putting a gun on the wall in act one.

STEPFATHER 27:00 – It’s always awkward when you catch your stepfather in a psychotic rant in the basement.

STEPFATHER 29:00 – So Stephanie is a better researcher than the lame reporter a couple scenes back.

STEPFATHER 30:10 – Hey, was that Borat in the background?

STEPFATHER 30:30 – “My 3 o’clock patient is a schitzophrenic, so I charge him double.” Ha! Mental illness is funny!

STEPFATHER 31:55 – Any mailbox with a little house glued on it is just asking to be hit with a baseball bat by a punk driving by.

STEPFATHER 33:40 – Jerry could have avoided this whole mess by not getting his psychotic 8×10 glossy head-shot

STEPFATHER 37:00 – “What do you plan on doing about it?” Police: “We got nothing.” We’re really terrible police

STEPFATHER 37:30 – I love this movie. The police detective told the vic’s brother to just “get a gun and blow the sonofabitch away.” Awesome

STEPFATHER 38:20 – The psychologist’s excuse for Jerry’s odd behavior:”We all do that.” Really? We all have psychotic rants in our basement?

STEPFATHER 40:20 – And cut on that awkward after-school special moment.

STEPFATHER 41:15 – Is that a Rick Springfield poster on Stephanie’s wall? That girl has great taste… for 1987.

STEPFATHER 42:45 – “I’m in stress management.” Apparently he works at a non-therapeutic massage parlor.

STEPFATHER 44:30 – This movie includes a scene from FOX’s new reality show: “When Realtors Attack!”

STEPFATHER 45:00 – That was definitely an effective murder scene… but who wouldn’t want to beat a psychologist with a 2×4?

STEPFATHER 46:50-The real reason for the crack down on mortgage licensing in recent years… so realtors don’t kill people at an open house.

STEPFATHER 48:40 – Whistling “Camp Town Races” always calms me down after a murder.

STEPFATHER 49:50 – I think Jerry needs Cherry Jones from SCARY MOVIE 4 to use a hot dog to explain to Stephanie how her doctor died.

STEPFATHER 52:50 – The birdhouse is a symbol of Jerry’s stability in his family (powered by violence)… or it’s just a birdhouse.

STEPFATHER 55:30 – Jerry’s been with the family for a year, and he still doesn’t know if Stephanie likes white or dark meat? Really?

STEPFATHER 56:30 – Get on my sweet ride… and by sweet ride I mean my hog… and by hog I mean my pastel-colored scooter.

STEPFATHER 58:30 – Whoa! This movie swerved back into the after-school special about teen sex.

STEPFATHER 1:00:30 – I am a bit curious as to how many serial killers plot their crime spree based on an article in a travel magazine.

STEPFATHER 1:01:45 – Nerdy secrateries with glasses are puddy in the hands of the ruggedly handsome brother.

STEPFATHER 1:02:50 – Stephanie makes a creepy, unscheduled visit to her shrink’s office. I’m turning the movie off if she smells something.

STEPFATHER 1:03:40 – The most convenient blotter ever seen in movie history. Better than a Franklin planner.

STEPFATHER 1:05:50 – All these years, and I’ve been wondering where I could pick up some pink butcher paper for my open house.

STEPFATHER 1:08:00 – I keep expecting Jerry to yell, “I drive a Dodge Stratus! People are afraid of me!” during this uncomfortable dinner.

STEPFATHER 1:10:00 – Yeah. There’s no doubt about it… Terry O’Quinn is way creepier than the PG-13 Dylan Walsh.

STEPFATHER 12:30 – This family shows the darker side of 80s shoulderpads and Tim Kazurinsky.

STEPFATHER 1:14:30 – The “Who am I here?” line is so much more effective in this than the remake

STEPFATHER 1:16:30 – Always when you’re in a hurry, you get stopped at a crosswalk with nuns and little kids.

STEPFATHER 1:16:50 – Well hello… Stephanie gets a nude shower scene. Yet another reason why this movie is awesome.

STEPFATHER 1:18:20 – Ruggedly handsome brother apparently only has his ruggedly handsome looks to go on… not smarts or defensive skillz.

STEPFATHER 1:20:00 – A rare sight in 80s horror: a high school girl who actually fights back. Excellent.

STEPFATHER 1:22:00 – Stephanie should really observe Rule #2 here: Double Tap.

STEPFATHER 1:24:30 – That was a much better ending than the remake. Very visceral. Very ugly. Very awesome.

STEPFATHER 1:25:10 – Again, we are reminded that the birdhouse is a symbol of Jerry… or it’s just a birdhouse.

STEPFATHER 1:25:55 – And ROLL CREDITS! And cue the totally tubular 80s synth music.

After watching THE STEPFATHER from 1987, I had to find this old SNL clip… http://bit.ly/eoVrq #idriveadodgestratus!

Jill Schoelen (Stephanie from 1987′s THE STEPFATHER) was also in the 80s PHANTOM OF THE OPERA and POPCORN (buy a bag, go home in a box)

@FakeRobHunter on Schoelen’s shower scene: “it’s okay if you want to lick the screen in admiration of her firm behind and chest apples”

Read more of @FakeRobHunter’s analysis of THE STEPFATHER at http://bit.ly/2xXE9b (FSR’s 31 Days of Horror 2009)

Final thoughts on THE STEPFATHER… cheesy 80s music, but still a great thriller. T.O’Quinn rules! Watch this on DVD instead of the remake.

Follow Kevin on…

Fat Guys at the Movies » Terry O’Quinn

Idiot Boxers Review: LOST, Series Finale

Related Reading

Kevin’s Live-Tweet of ‘The Stepfather’

Related Reading