Fat Guys at the Movies » I Love You Beth Cooper

Second Reel Episode 3 – Thanksgiving Turkey Wrap-Up

Kevin Carr — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:06:26 +0000

On This Episode: Kevin welcomes Aaron Dean,Rachelle from Dallas and Merrill from TheFilmStage.com to talk about the turkeys they all live-tweeted during the month of November.

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Films Discussed:
Leonard Part 6 (1987)
Red Sonja (1985)
I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009)
2012 Supernova (2009)
Godzilla (1998)
Labyrinth (1986)
Teen Witch (1989)
Batman & Robin (1997)
Gigli (2003)
Xanadu (1980)
Waterworld (1995)
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie (1987)

Music used in this episode:
“I Like Boys” by Tessa Ludwick & Alycia Adler Monet Lerner from Teen Witch
“Xanadu” by Olivia Newton-John from Xanadu

Special thanks to Aaron Dean for selecting the music.

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Follow Rachelle on Twitter (@Stellar1)
Follow Merrill on Twitter (@sonic43)

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Kevin’s Live-Tweet of ‘I Love You, Beth Cooper’

Kevin Carr — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:35:55 +0000

On November 11, Kevin came back to the present to live-tweet this summer’s I Love You, Beth Cooper, directed by Chris Columbus. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

A big thanks to @gmanreviews for recommending the film.

Turkey #3 is… “I Love You, Beth Cooper,” recently released on DVD and Blu-ray.#kevincarrtweetsturkeys

BETH COOPER 00:30 – From 1492 Pictures, reminding us that Chris Columbus made good HP movies… until Alfonse Curon showed him how to do it.

BETH COOPER 00:40 – Fox Atomic made this movie. Isn’t that studio arm defunct now?

BETH COOPER 01:30 – The opening song conveys the severe mediocrity of high school graduation songs.

BETH COOPER 02:20 – How many high school kids are actually obsessed with Humphrey Bogart?

BETH COOPER 02:50 – This principal is a PILF… a principal I’d like to… well, you get the idea.

BETH COOPER 04:35 – I know Hayden Panties is over 18, but she still looks like she’s about 14 years old, and that’s kinda creepy.

BETH COOPER 06:00 – I’ve known some stuck-up bitches in my life, and they don’t feel empty inside. They just think they’re better than you.

BETH COOPER 07:15 – NOW is when the PILF breaks up the speech?

BETH COOPER 08:20 – Does a hot PILF from a nothing high school really have that much power over a Stanford scholarship?

BETH COOPER 09:45 – Personally, I prefer the graduation scene from PORKY’S REVENGE to this.

BETH COOPER 10:30 – The tank top and cut-offs are supposed to look sexy on Hayden Panties, but it just looks pervy to me.

BETH COOPER 12:05 – Wow. Those shorts are so small and tight on Hayden Panties you can see her duodenum.

BETH COOPER 13:50 – Apparently, this movie is saying that in the past, everyone had acne, no matter how old they are now.

BETH COOPER 14:30 – This conversation goes to show that no matter how nerdy you are, there’s always someone you think is nerdier than you

BETH COOPER 15:10 – If you charge your kid for “wear and tear on your mother,” it’s your fault for not paying for the episiotomy.

BETH COOPER 16:50 – I don’t know about you, but I always get laid when I wear my lucky Spider-Man underpants.

BETH COOPER 17:00 – Did Cameron from FERRIS BEULLER’S DAY OFF just say “shindizzle”? Crap, the apocalypse has started.

BETH COOPER 18:30 – Here’s the one and only f-bomb. A RISKY BUSINESS call-back.

BETH COOPER 19:20 – Why does the dad tell him where his condoms are? How hard is it for a high schooler to buy condoms nowadays?

BETH COOPER 20:00 – More trying to make Hayden Panties look hot and sexy. She barely looks pubescent.

BETH COOPER 21:00 – This awkward non-party is just painful to watch… partly b/c it’s annoying. partly because I could have done this.

BETH COOPER 22:00 – I hate these guys. Condoms or not, they should never get laid.

BETH COOPER 22:50 – Cristal is the “drink of the pimps”? You mean Cristal sponsors pimps like Coke sponsors the Olympics?

BETH COOPER 24:15 – The difference b/w high schoolers & adults is that high schoolers will drink champagne with a little bit of blood in it.

BETH COOPER 25:50 – Second boner joke of the movie. Whoopie!

BETH COOPER 26:35 – “Wine reminds me of Jesus.” Really? That’s why the lush slut doesn’t like wine?

BETH COOPER 28:00 – Maybe it’s the parent in me talking, but why doesn’t this idiot kid call 911?

BETH COOPER 28:45 – Anyone who identifies a movie, it’s star, it’s director and the year of release on command like that is a douche.

BETH COOPER 30:15 – Only real lightsabers are intimidating. Toys aren’t. Ever.

BETH COOPER 31:45 – This movie is what SUPERBAD would have been if it had been neutered.

BETH COOPER 32:50 – The army buddies aren’t like Cyborgs, dude. They’re like rejects from a community theater production of WEST SIDE STORY.

BETH COOPER 34:40 – This movie’s title should have been, “You’re a Psycho Whore-bag, Beth Cooper.”

BETH COOPER 36:00 – So the parents are parked and making out in the car. Isn’t this what cheap motels are for?

BETH COOPER 37:50 – Sorry people. All car-singing scenes should be outlawed after WAYNES WORLD and THAT 70S SHOW set the bar so high.

BETH COOPER 40:10 – Twelve beers for five people? That’s kind apointless.

BETH COOPER 42:00 – Hayden panties making out for beer is just way past icky.

BETH COOPER 43:25 – If this “I’m not gay” kid quotes another movie and identifies the main details form IMDb, I’m going to punch the TV.

BETH COOPER 44:10 – Wow. The slapstick attempts in this movie are awful… and they rip off THE HANGOVER.

BETH COOPER 45:00 – Two girls and guy go to pee in the woods. Now we got a movie going. Too bad we’re still listening to Hayden Panties talk

BETH COOPER 46:20 – Cow tipping scene. Best done in HEATHERS, Winona Ryder and Christian Slater, directed by Michael Lehmann, 1988.

BETH COOPER 48:40 – Duh… you have to let the cow fall asleep before you tip it. I grew up in Ohio (tho have never been cow tipping)

BETH COOPER 50:00 – The “I’m not gay” kid is way too into his shoes. Who is he? Carrie Bradshaw?

BETH COOPER 51:45 – How small is this town anyway? What are the chances of finding you parents having sex while parked? Hopefully small.

BETH COOPER 55:00 – Is it creepy for a father to have glamour shots of his hot daughter on the walls of his study. Ick.

BETH COOPER 57:45 – Here’s one point I hated about this movie…the guy is an ass to the lesser popular girl, being as bad as Beth is to him

BETH COOPER 59:20 – Okay, “I’m not gay” dude… Ernst Bloefeld wasn’t in every Bond movie. Only 5 real ones, plus unsaid in 1 & NSNA.

BETH COOPER 1:00:55 – Why is the pervy coach at this party? And why isn’t he in jail with Jeffrey Jones?

BETH COOPER 1:03:10 – Fighting in real life would be so much easier if people just waited for you to punch them, like in the movies.

BETH COOPER 1:05:00 – Why does the head cheerleader have a key to the school *after* graduation?

BETH COOPER 1:05:40 – The barefoot cheerleader scene was just ruined by the “I’m not gay” dude joining in.

BETH COOPER 1;06:30 – And here’s the point where Beth Cooper realizes her best days are behind her and she’s gonna get fat.

BETH COOPER 1:07:00 – Reason number 863 why I hate this movie… When 3 cheerleaders invite you to shower with them, YOU SAY YES!

BETH COOPER 1:07:45 – Side boob on the lush slut and a hint from Hayden Panties. That’s the best we’re gonna get from this movie.

BETH COOPER 1:08:50 – You don’t convince a guy to hop in the shower with 3 cheerleaders by quoting DEAD POET’S SOCIETY. Seriously.

BETH COOPER 1:09:30 – Why is a shot of Hayden’s “Hello” panties treated with such tenderness?

BETH COOPER 1:12:30 – The wet-towel fight isn’t going very far to convince anyone the “I’m not gay” dude isn’t gay.

BETH COOPER 1:14:30 – Does it count as a downer if the kid finds out *again* that Beth Cooper is a stuck up snot?

BETH COOPER 1:15:50 – Tampons up the nose. Not funny in movies any more. Never thought I’d ever have to say that.

BETH COOPER 1:17:50 – If I had to choose among the cheerleaders, it’d be the black chick. She’s cute… and over 25 years old.

BETH COOPER 1:18:35 – “It was the way other girls looked at me when I was with him.” Yeah, that’s depth of character for you.

BETH COOPER 1:20:00 – How do you grow up in a crappy town in the midwest and not know that raccoons aren’t to be trifled with?

BETH COOPER 1:22:15 – Poop. Here we go with a tender moment. Bleh.

BETH COOPER 1:23:10 – I just punched the TV. He gave the info again for a full movie. I was contractually obligated to do it.

BETH COOPER 1:23:50 – Booze, guns, teenagers and peeing of the pants. I wish this movie went more for *this* kind of ending.
BETH COOPER 1:26:00 – Hmmm… If I told two hot ladies that I was gay, would they have a three-way with me to prove me wrong? Love to try it

BETH COOPER 1:27:00 – Why does he need latex sheets?

BETH COOPER 1:28:35 – “Why weren’t you in drama club?” “Social survival.” Exactly. The movie continues to condemn involvement in the arts

BETH COOPER 1:30:00 – He’s telling Beth she’ll have an amazing life. But we know she’ll be pregnant by 20 and living in a trailer park.

BETH COOPER 1:32:55 – “We should do this again sometime.” Yeah, in the sequel, I SORT-OF TOLERATE YOU, BETH COOPER.

BETH COOPER 1:34:00 – “See you at the reunion.” Hope you don’t get fat.

BETH COOPER 1:35:20 – “It’s not stalkiing if you love the person.” Tell that to Justin Timberlake.

BETH COOPER 1:35:40 – And ROLL CREDITS!

Checking out the Alternate Ending to the movie…

Erm… yeah… the BETH COOPER alternative ending wasn’t any better than the theatrical ending.

Final thoughts on I LOVE YOU BETH COOPER: Good idea but pulled too many punches. Also stepped on its own message too many times.

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Thanksgiving Turkey Movies

Kevin Carr — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 10:50:18 +0000

Because the 31 Horror Movies in October was such a success, for the month of November leading up to Thanksgiving, Fat Guy Kevin Carr will be watching some of the biggest turkeys in cinematic history. He will be live-tweeting his pain through each film, so follow him at Twitter.com/kevincarr.

The following movies will be watched and live-tweeted by Kevin and various other members of the Twitterverse. Follow Kevin on Twitter to find out when he will watch the movies. Turkeys on deck for November 2009 include:

The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
Gigli (2003)
Godzilla (1998) *
I Love You Beth Cooper (2009)
Leonard Part 6 (1987) *
Rebirth of Mothra I & II double feature! (1999) *
Red Sonja (1985) *
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)
Teen Witch (1989)
Xanadu (1980)

* denotes a film available on Netflix Instant, so there’s no excuse for not joining in

A special thanks goes to the following Twitter users for their various suggestions: @AronDej, @gmanreviews, @ReidBennett, @johncoop, @Regi_S, @andywhitedc, @GabeGarza and @FozzieBare. There were many fine suggestions, many of which did not make the list for various reasons.

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Video: Kevin Reviews ‘Brüno’ and ‘I Love You, Beth Cooper’ on FOX 28

fatguy — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:37:13 +0000

Fat Guy Kevin Carr rolled into the FOX 28 studios in Columbus, Ohio for a regular weekly review bit. This week, he reviews (rather carefully) the R-rated Brüno and the PG-13 tween-friendly I Love You, Beth Cooper.

Note how many times the Brüno clip loops into the line, “Whasssup?”

Check out Kevin’s TV appearance here:

Movie Review: ‘I Love You, Beth Cooper’

fatguy — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 01:18:23 +0000

Rated PG-13
Opens: July 10, 2009
Studio: Fox Atomic
Starring: Hayden Panettiere, Paul Rust, Jack Carpenter, Lauren London and Andrea Savage
Directed by: Chris Columbus

Kevin says I Love You, Beth Cooper kinda sucks!
[See post to listen to audio]
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Read Kevin’s review of I Love You, Beth Cooper here.

Episode 122 – Fätsö

fatguy — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 07:59:44 +0000

Fat Guys at the Movies is the official podcast of Film School Rejects

On This Week’s Show: Neil has gone on a clandestine mission to our nation’s capital, including a visit to the Pentagon to warn our military of the impending threat of giant alien robots. This leads Kevin to meet up with his chubby co-host in the Magical Studio in the Sky, from an undisclosed location (which may or may not be a jail cell). Together, they travel to the Moon before joining Brüno in saying I Love You, Beth Cooper! Before handing down a Fat Guy Five about awesome movies that take place in space, Neil tries to declare that Michael Bay is an intellectual director while Kevin unleashes some venom on the late and perverse Michael Jackson.

Films Reviewed this Week: Moon, Brüno and I Love You, Beth Cooper.

[See post to listen to audio]

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Episode Schedule:

Segment 1 [8:50] – Review of Moon, starring Sam Rockwell and Sam Rockwell

Segment 2 [10:40] – Reviews of Brüno and I Love You, Beth Cooper

Segment 3 [12:45] – Retro-reviews of Public Enemies and Public Enemies; Box office recap and predictions and the Fat Guy Five: Five Awesome Movies in Space

Segment 4 [6:35] – DVD Round-Up: Neil’s pick is Knowing and Push; Kevin’s picks include the past releases of the Do the Right Thing on Blu-ray, Stargate Atlantis: Season Five, 12 Rounds, Street Fighter; The Legend of Chun-Li and The JoBros along with new releases The Unborn, Night Train and The Peanuts 1960s Collection; Review Recap and a look ahead to next week.

Next Week’s Show:
Neil and Kevin will be visiting Hogwarts and take a look at Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince