Second Reel Episode 3 – Thanksgiving Turkey Wrap-Up

Kevin Carr — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:06:26 +0000

On This Episode: Kevin welcomes Aaron Dean,Rachelle from Dallas and Merrill from TheFilmStage.com to talk about the turkeys they all live-tweeted during the month of November.

[See post to listen to audio]

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Films Discussed:
Leonard Part 6 (1987)
Red Sonja (1985)
I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009)
2012 Supernova (2009)
Godzilla (1998)
Labyrinth (1986)
Teen Witch (1989)
Batman & Robin (1997)
Gigli (2003)
Xanadu (1980)
Waterworld (1995)
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie (1987)

Music used in this episode:
“I Like Boys” by Tessa Ludwick & Alycia Adler Monet Lerner from Teen Witch
“Xanadu” by Olivia Newton-John from Xanadu

Special thanks to Aaron Dean for selecting the music.

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Follow Rachelle on Twitter (@Stellar1)
Follow Merrill on Twitter (@sonic43)

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Kevin’s Live-Tweet of ‘Leonard Part 6′

Kevin Carr — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 11:10:03 +0000

On November 7, Kevin started his Thanksgiving Turkey live-tweets by skewering the 1987 spy movie spoof, Leonard Part 6, recognized as one of the worst films ever made. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

A big thanks (sort of) to @Regi_S for recommending the film.

Turkey #1 is… “Leornard: Part 6.” Apparently Bill Cosby bought out the TV rights to restrict showing the film.#kevincarrtweetsturkeys

LEONARDp6 00:40 – A freaking pink bunny? That’s your studio logo? Holy crap

LEONARDp6 01:20 – And a burping fish. This movie is going to be awesome, I assure you.

LEONARDp6 01:55 – Jan Da Bont, the director of SPEED, was the cinematographer.

LEONARDp6 02:30 – That guy looks like he could use a Jell-O pudding pop.

LEONARDp6 04:30 – A barking fish. How is that funny? Oh, it’s not.

LEONARDp6 05:10 – Did they seriously make a Playboy joke with a fish? That’s not even the same Order (or Class… I forget which).

LEONARDp6 05:50 – We’re almost six minutes in… and it already doesn’t make sense. Killer rainbow trout? Bill Cosby riding an ostrich? WTF?

LEONARDp6 07:20 – Bill Cosby can’t deliver a line of dialogue without sounding like Cliff Huxtable giving sage fatherly advice.

LEONARDp6 08:10 – For the first time… I’m stumped… I have no words to descibe this train wreck of a film.

LEONARDp6 09:20 – Ah… the old ricochet gag. Didn’t we see that in DAWN OF THE DEAD?

LEONARDp6 10:00 – I have an easier time believing Mike Myers is a secret agent than Bill Cosby.

LEONARDp6 10:35 – “A group of highly trained housecats” as assassins? Seriously? And squirrels too?

LEONARDp6 12:00 – Who’s narrating this movie? What is the purpose? My brain hurts already. Maybe I’m just being scanned by Michael Ironside

LEONARDp6 12:55 – Joe Don Baker manages to be creepy… big surprise. “His wife…” {evil sneer}

LEONARDp6 14:00 – Ahhhh… it’s the butler who’s narrating. Still makes no sense.

LEONARDp6 14:30 – Did Cliff Huxstable just walk into an episode of FRESH PRINCE?

LEONARDp6 15:30 – Why are we in a scene from a sit-com. I though this was a spoof of the spy genre. His daughter wants to be an actress.

LEONARDp6 16:45 – Moses Gunn in this movie looks like John Witherspoon does today.

LEONARDp6 17:10 – Jesus, that’s a big f-ing sandwich… and a product placement bottle of Coke.

LEONARDp6 17:30 – The irony is Leonard’s daughter wants to be an actress… and this movie killed the actress’s career.

LEONARDp6 18:40 – Since when do evil geniuses staff their lairs with beefed up guys from Gold’s Gym in spandex?

LEONARDp6 19:30 – This movie represents the plagues of the Bible. We are currently in a plague of frogs.

LEONARDp6 19:50 – I don’t remember the plagues of cats, squirrels and rainbow trout, though.

LEONARDp6 20:15 – Holy mother of God. Frogs hopping a car into the bay? Was the writer on shrooms when he wrote this?

LEONARDp6 21:00 – I swear… If Leonard starts to “touch himself,” I’m turning this off.

LEONARDp6 21:40 – Is food a metaphor in this movie? All he does is get served food… pudding, sandwich, night cap.

LEONARDp6 23:35 – Did Leonard just say he’s going to explode? I hope it’s not a figurative sense.

LEONARDp6 24:00 – And he lays a smooch on the butler… because that’s what spies do, people.

LEONARDp6 24:30 – We need a montage! Montage!

LEONARDp6 25:15 – They’re not even shaving right. How can you expect a decent film?

LEONARDp6 25:35 – And he kissed the butler again. Really?

LEONARDp6 26:07 – Okay, I just saw Leonard’s reverse camel toe. I just threw up a bit in my mouth.

LEONARDp6 26:45 – How much did Adidas, Perrier and Coke pay for product placement in this movie? Whateever it was, it was too much.

LEONARDp6 27:45 – This montage is so long, it would have taken less time to just watch him do everything in real time.

LEONARDp6 30:00 – Why so many candles? Are we in a Mexican church in a bad action movie? Nope… just a bad action movie.

LEONARDp6 32:00 – Again, Leonard is being served food (well, sort of). What’s the significance?

LEONARDp6 32:30 – Leonard now looks like he is at the end of a crazy Peter North movie.

LEONARDp6 33:20 – “Cancel the grits.” That’s the best punch line you could come up with???

LEONARDp6 34:20 – Ummmm… that’s not a trailer park. That’s under a bridge in the ghetto.

LEONARDp6 36:00 – This movie would make just as much sense if all the dialogue was in the wacky fortune teller’s gibberish.

LEONARDp6 36:40 – Wait! the fortune teller falls asleep after telling a fortune? Is she a dude after having sex?

LEONARDp6 37:15 – Note to Bill Cosby… when you dess as a spy… suck in your gut. That body armor makes you look fat.

LEONARDp6 37:50 – “A pair of underarm heat-seeking missles.” The dialogue just described the movie itself.

LEONARDp6 38:40 – Pomp and Freaking Circumstance is the music choice? They’re just grabbing public domain stuff at this point.

LEONARDp6 39:50 – What is the mission again? I seriously have no idea what is going on in this movie.

LEONARDp6 40:50 – These optical effects are bad… even for 1987… even for a low-budget movie… even for SuperFriends.

LEONARDp6 41:35 – And now the 1812 Overture? more public domain music.

LEONARDp6 42:15 – Why is the crazy-ass Diana Ross trying to do again?

LEONARDp6 42:50 – And a zebra… and an anteater… was there a sale at the San Diego Zoo?

LEONARDp6 43:45 – Tap dancing animal hybrid vegetarians. yeah, I’m not making this up.

LEONARDp6 44:30 – I now recommend everyone see this movie just to prove your own sanity. The animal hybrid vegetarians are dancing now.

LEONARDp6 46:00 – The Bill Cosby ballet dancing body double is nowhere near as fat as he is. (Yes, you read that one correctly.)

LEONARDp6 46:50 – Oh, and what human-animal hybrid vegetarian dance number wouldn’t be complete without a disco riff track.

LEONARDp6 47:45 – Seriously? They have a pack of dalmatians in the lair? Who is this lady, Cruella De Vil?

LEONARDp6 48:25 – Yes, Bill Cosby. That outfit makes your ass look fat.

LEONARDp6 48:45 – Uh… that’s not a queen bee. And that’s just a guy making a buzzing noise with his mouth. Wow.

LEONARDp6 49:50 – Those are the biggest glory holes I have ever seen.

LEONARDp6 50:30 – Wow… just wow…

LEONARDp6 51:00 – Is that the St. Elsewhere theme? I guess because he’s operating on himself.

LEONARDp6 53:50 – I think Michael Lehman keeps a copy of this movie around to show people that HUDSON HAWK wasn’t really that bad.

LEONARDp6 54:30 – This scene in which Leonard is forced to watch his daughter’s crappy play is like making me watch this movie.

LEONARDp6 55:20 – How dare this movie have the hot daughter take off her shirt and not give us the money shot!

LEONARDp6 57:50 – So they printed a ransom note with various text fonts? Yeah, that makes sense.

LEONARDp6 58:55 – “I knew we got the wrong rabbit.” Yeah, I’ve had days like that.

LEONARDp6 59:40 – I really don’t even know what happened in that last scene… except that they ripped off MONTY PYTON’S HOLY GRAIL.

LEONARDp6 1:00:40 – The Electric Mayhem’s bus if following them.

LEONARDp6 1:02:45 – Again! Someone’s giving Leonard food???

LEONARDp6 1:03:45 – “I got your ball. Now let me in.” The only thing in this movie that is remotely funny.

LEONARDp6 1:05:25 – Wow. That henchman has a bigger ass than Bill Cosby.

LEONARDp6 1:06:05 – The unthinkable to do to animals is to tell them the truth? I though the unthinkable involved a lot more lube.

LEONARDp6 1:06:45 – The “Kill Him!” guy is like a Dalek. He can’t go up stairs.

LEONARDp6 1:07:55 – Attack of the lobsters. Wasn’t scary in TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE. Isn’t scary (or funny) now.

LEONARDp6 1:08:30 – Is the villainess going to eat all that cheese? She won’t crap for a week, unlike this movie.

LEONARDp6 1:09:15 – Why does all the things in Leonard’s pockets sparkle?

LEONARDp6 1:10:30 – Turkeys in a turkey. It’s prophetic.

LEONARDp6 1:10:50 – And horse shit in a horse shit movie. More prophecy.

LEONARDp6 1:11:25 – And she squeezes a banana. I suppose that’s supposed to be not-so-subtle imagery.

LEONARDp6 1:12:25 – Again, sparkling stuff coming out of Leonard’s pockets? I don’t even understand this movie.

LEONARDp6 1:13:40 – Okay… the goofy henchman having his head explode after eating a hot dog… I’ll let that scene speak for itself.

LEONARDp6 1:14:50 – a tommy gun? Wow… that guy is old.

LEONARDp6 1:15:40 – The science in this movie is worse than the writing… and that’s saying a lot.

LEONARDp6 1:16:40 – “Where’s daddy?” Sadly, he’s still alive.

LEONARDp6 1:17:10 – That poor, poor ostrich.

LEONARDp6 1:17:30 – Okay, if an ostrich can’t fly, why can it fly with Bill Cosby’s fat ass riding it?

LEONARDp6 1:18:40 – Why is Leonard kissing all these dudes if he’s back with his wife?

LEONARDp6 1:19:55 – I don’t get this erotic food fetish Leonard has… and ROLL CREDITS!

Final thoughts on LEONARD PART 6… What a galactic turd. Made no sense. Bill Cosby with an apparent sploshing fetish. My head hurts.

I now hate @Regi_S for recommending LEONARD PART 6.

@jmabell After watching this movie, I don’t want to know where Leonard puts his Jell-O pudding pops.

FYI… there is, in fact, a song called “The Love Theme from Leonard Part 6.”

The best part of this… @instant_netflix now says on my screen, “You just finished watching Leonard Part 6.” Should also say… “sucker!”

@jmabell It was like a cinematic laxative. Now THE FOURTH KIND doesn’t seem so bad.

@Stellar143 I would literally cut off other people’s thumbs to increase the number of thumbs down I would give this movie.

@Stellar143 It is so bad, it’s almost worth seeing, just to give yourself a baseline of how bad a film can be.

Big thanks to @AronDej for live-tweeting along with me on LEONARD PART 6!

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Second Reel Episode 3 – Thanksgiving Turkey Wrap-Up

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