Kevin’s Live-Tweet of ‘Drag Me to Hell’

fatguy — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 12:10:02 +0000

On Friday, October 9, Kevin live-tweeted the latest Sam Raimi film Drag Me to Hell. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

DRAG ME TO HELL 00:15 – Awesome retro Universal opening logo. Gotta love the throwback.

DRAG ME TO HELL 01:30 – Stealing from an old gypsy woman? That’s got bad idea written all over it.

DRAG ME TO HELL 02:20 – This is already a loud-ass movie. And it begins with some horror slapstick.

DRAG ME TO HELL 03:15 – All that just for stealing a necklace? What would she have done if the kid had kicked her in the taint?

DRAG ME TO HELL 05:50 – “There is no friction with the proper diction.” That’s not as dirty as it sounds.

DRAG ME TO HELL 07:25 – I wonder if this bank she works for was part of the bailout. The gypsy curse bailout, that is.

DRAG ME TO HELL 08:55 – Foreshadowing… if you’ve seen it already, you know.

DRAG ME TO HELL 09:00 – Did Justin Long just slap Alison Lohman on the ass? Cheeky monkey!

DRAG ME TO HELL 11:00 – Gnarliest. Fingers. Ever… and she apparently has swine flu. Green loogie. Delicious.

DRAG ME TO HELL 11:30 – The old gypsy woman “made every payment until this sickness took my eye.” What was her job? Looking at things?

DRAG ME TO HELL 13:15 – Oh, pardon me while I stick my dentures back in my mouth. Ew.

DRAG ME TO HELL 13:30 – So the old gypsy woman has yellow, rotting dentures. Who buys these? From the discount denture store?

DRAG ME TO HELL 14:55 – That upskirt shot of Alison Lohman was totally ruined by the old gypsy woman sniffing at her hemline.

DRAG ME TO HELL 15:40 – How many fat security guards does it take to throw a gypsy out of a bank? The answer: 2.

DRAG ME TO HELL 17:40 – Note to self: If you want to sneak up on someone… don’t hack up green loogies in the process.

DRAG ME TO HELL 18:05 – Oh my god! A handkerchief! How horrirfying!

DRAG ME TO HELL 18:45 – The Los Angeles stapler massacre.

DRAG ME TO HELL 19:40 – TOUCHDOWN! Six points for gypsy ladies in the dashboard.

DRAG ME TO HELL 19:45 – This is not what I like in terms of girl-on-girl action.

DRAG ME TO HELL 20:50 – “I beat you, you old bitch!” Probably not the time to taunt.

DRAG ME TO HELL 25:15 – “I’m Ram Jaas, seer.” I’m going to announce myself that way when I enter a room. “I’m Kevin Carr. Awesome dude.”

DRAG ME TO HELL 27:15 – Going to a fortune teller RE the gypsy. I’d rather they use him to contact Billy Mays and get some Chipotle-away.

DRAG ME TO HELL 30:00 – What a mensch. JLong leaves ALohman alone in a spooky house and tells her cat to take care of her. He’s a keeper.

DRAG ME TO HELL 31:10 – Oh, I get it… she was fat as a kid. Well, we all have our demons. Now she has two.

DRAG ME TO HELL 31:30 – I will say that the movie loses a bit not in a Dolby theater, but the sound is still awesome on BD.

DRAG ME TO HELL 32:40 – The cat is getting the F out of there. Good choice, pussy.

DRAG ME TO HELL 33:40 – This is just like the Barbara Hershey movie “The Entity” only funny and without the demon rape.

DRAG ME TO HELL 37:00 – Digitial fly up the nose. Nasty.

DRAG ME TO HELL 37:50 – Wow. Do they give Academy Awards for Best Vomit Scene in a Feature Film? They should, and this movie should win.

DRAG ME TO HELL 39:15 – ALohman to Stu-douche: “I have a lot on my mind right now.” AKA: “I need to vomit up a bucket of flies and maggots.”

DRAG ME TO HELL 40:00 – “Get your filthy pig knuckle off my desk!” I never thought I’d ever hear someone say that.

DRAG ME TO HELL 40:30 – I think that might have been a scene enhanced in the director’s cut. I don’t remember that much blood.

DRAG ME TO HELL 43:45 – Okay. That’s just not sanitary.

DRAG ME TO HELL 44:15 – Did they actually embalm the old bird, or did they just pour embalming fluid in her stomach?

DRAG ME TO HELL side note: Bojana Novakovic as the gypsy woman’s daughter is a treat. She’s worth an uncensored Google Image search.

DRAG ME TO HELL 48:15 – Nice iPhone product placement, Sam Raimi.

DRAG ME TO HELL 49:30 – You know what this movie needs? A nice crucifix-masturbation scene. That and Marc Singer.

DRAG ME TO HELL 50:00 – “Here kitty, kitty.” That line cracked up the audience when I saw it this summer. Still cracks me up now.

DRAG ME TO HELL 51:30 – Damn. Alison Lohman looks nice in that yellow dress. I’m just sayin’

DRAG ME TO HELL 57:00 – That’s funny. I didn’t bake *that* in the cake.

DRAG ME TO HELL 57:20 – The cake scene kinda reminds me of the pudding scene from DEAD ALIVE.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:02:15 – Who has an anvil? Hanging from the ceiling, no less? Awesome.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:03:00 – So apparently the “unrated” parts of this movie include digital effects overlaid on the original cut. Looks cheap.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:06:40 – I need a manservant like Milos here. He’s creepy AND helpful.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:07:30 – The medium’s husband built this house because it was a gateway to another world. That’s just stupid.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:08:00 – Who brings a goat to a seance? Do they think this is Wal-Mart? (go to www.peopleofwalmart.com if you don’t get it)

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:09:20 – What? The goat doesn’t get to hold anyone’s hand?

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:10:30 – I don’t care what’s going on, but I will never chant, “I welcome the dead into my soul.” Never.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:11:45 – Well, that was just lame. Did we suddenly swerve into the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland?

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:13:20 – I think that Manservant Milos just pooed himself.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:15:00 – The goat is awesome: “You black-hearted whooooooore.” Bleating whore. Awesome.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:16:30 – This scene reminds me of the “I Love to Laugh” scene from MARY POPPINS. Sort of.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:22:20 – Uh, lady. Just because the old guy’s close to death doesn’t mean he needs to burn in hell.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:24:45 – That’s right, Stu. You dodged a bullet. Now for the loophole.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:25:50 – Again, attacked by the scariest handkerchief every woven.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:26:40 – ALohman has deep-throated more things in this film: gypsy lady arm, handkerchiefs, flies, embalming fluid…

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:28:00 – the best part of the graveyard scene: ALohman’s boobies in a wet t-shirt.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:29:40 – Is there no security in this graveyard? Is it really that easy to dig up a grave? Let me try it this weekend.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:32:00 – Get ready for the greatest train depot scene since HOSTEL.

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:34:00 – Best. Ending. Ever. (and Justin Long can act)

DRAG ME TO HELL 1:34:20 – And ROLL CREDITS! (congrats to @carcarr819 for sticking with the whole film!)

Final word on DRAG ME TO HELL… A hell of a lot of fun. Horror elements, but more comedy. Looney Tunes do demonic possession.

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Episode 117 – Drag My Fat Butt Up to Hell

fatguy — Fri, 29 May 2009 07:04:04 +0000

Fat Guys at the Movies is the official podcast of Film School Rejects

On This Week’s Show: The unprecedented has happened in the Magical Studio in the Sky. Not only has Neil seen as many movies this week as Kevin, but they also seem to agree on everything. Surely, this is a sign of the apocalypse. In celebration of this blue moon event, Kevin and Neil provide not one, but two Fat Guy Fives, also in honor of two vastly different films in the theaters this week. But have no fear. Kevin and Neil will be back with fighting words next week.

Films Reviewed this Week: Up and Drag Me to Hell.

[See post to listen to audio]

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Episode Schedule:

Segment 1 [8:50] – Review of Drag Me to Hell

Segment 2 [10:40] – Review of Up

Segment 3 [12:45] – Box office recap and predictions, and two Fat Guy Fives: Pixar’s Five Best Films & The Five Best Horror Movie Experiences

Segment 4 [6:35] – DVD Round-Up: Neil’s picks are the Blu-Ray of Children of Men and Powder Blue; Kevin’s picks include Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and The Closer: Season Four with a spotlight on recent western classics, including Catlow, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, El Dorado and the Blu-Ray of The Good the Bad and the Ugly; Review Recap and a look ahead to next week.

Next Week’s Show:
Neil and Kevin travel to The Land of the Lost, see My Life in Ruins and deal with The Hangover

Show Links:

FSR’s Weekly Report Card for Up and Drag Me to Hell
Pixar Takes Kevin Carr Up, Up and Away!
Kevin’s complete audio interview with William Sanderson

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Fat Guys at the Movies » Allison Lohman

Kevin’s Live-Tweet of ‘Drag Me to Hell’

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Episode 117 – Drag My Fat Butt Up to Hell

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