On October 13, Kevin live-tweeted the 1988 film Waxwork, starring Zach Galligan, the teen heart-throb of Gremlins. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.
A big thanks to @d_levy for recommending the film.
WAXWORK 00:15 – The movie opens with a cover of the big band selection SING SING SING. Not exactly terrifying.
WAXWORK 01:30 – That guy being burned alive in the fireplace looked suspiciously like Glenn Beck. Some might not consider that horror.
WAXWORK 02:45 – “Now drink your milk. You’ll be late for college.” Consider the overbearing rich mother characterized.
WAXWORK 04:30 – Was that a Tears for Fears song I just heard in the soundtrack? Talk about a blast from the past.
WAXWORK 05:00 – Holy Klingon/Romulan/Cardassian, Batman! There’s David Warner!
WAXWORK 06:15 – Back to the Tears for Fears song. They only had enough money for one song, I guess.
WAXWORK 06:45 – This history teacher is way too excited about the Nazi victories. Are you allowed to fly a Nazi flag at this college?
WAXWORK 07:45 – This movie also stars Deborah Foreman from VALLEY GIRL fame. She’s a cutie, even though she’s a 30-year-old HS student.
WAXWORK 09:50 – Michelle Johnson’s bleach blondehair and dark eyebrows turns me on. I don’t know why.
WAXWORK 11:15 – I know it was a sign of the times, but any movie with an 80s synth soundtrack is instantly not very scary.
WAXWORK 12:15 – Would you go to a private event at a creepy wax museum. All the cool kids are doing it. (note: cool = 80s dorks)
WAXWORK 13:20 – Deborah Foreman is holding Michelle Johnson’s hand. I do not judge, and I find that awesome.
WAXWORK 14:10 – This is the creepiest midget in a horror movie since POLTERGEIST.
WAXWORK 15:45 – Holy crap! That waxwork display looks like it’s a lumberjack killing Jim Parsons from THE SIGNAL. #jimparsonsisawesome
WAXWORK 16:50 – All snarking aside, I really want to go to a wax museum now. Gotta see if there are any near Columbus.
WAXWORK 18:00 – A wax museum with time/space portals. Either that, or the drugs in the 80s were *that* good.
WAXWORK 20:40 – What’s amazing about the set design of this movie is that all the sets are so cheap they look like a wax museum
WAXWORK 22:45 – That werewolf looks less like a wolf and more like Don King with bad dentures.
WAXWORK 23:35 – I’m crushing your head! Crush… crush… crush… crush!
WAXWORK 24:50 – The moral of this theme is “Don’t Smoke.” (he would have never stepped into the exhibit if he hadn’t dropped his lighter.)
WAXWORK 26:10 – This girl is so horny, she’s literally going to make out with a wax figure.
WAXWORK 28:15 – This lady’s dress has so many feathers on it, you’d think she was at the 2009 Oscars. (hint: lots of feather dresses this yr
WAXWORK 29:30 – Aw come on… just because you’re vampires doesn’t mean you have to be slobs. Use a napkin, for pete’s sake.
WAXWORK 31:55 – All you Twiligher posers out there have to admit that this movie paved the way for Edward Cullen.
WAXWORK 33:30 – Apparently having your eviscerated won’t make you scream, but an rat eating your foot… that’s another story.
WAXWORK 35:20 – Gut stabbing a vampire never works. But 2 ginsu knives in the form of a crucifix… instant vampire explosion.
WAXWORK 36:40 – This is the bloodiest shower sequence that I’ve seen since CARRIE (and you thought I was gonna say PSYCHO)
WAXWORK 38:45 – Even though VALLEY GIRL was made like 2 yrs before this, Deborah Foreman like she could be a MILF instead of a student.
WAXWORK 41:00 – I know cowboys play harmonicas by the camp fire, but greasers playing harmonicas by a phone booth? That’s just weird.
WAXWORK 43:55 – Sorry, Zach Galligan… smoking makes you look even less cool.
WAXWORK 45:00 – Because 1988’s audiences demanded it, we have an eyeful of Zach Galligan in a bathrobe and nothing else.
WAXWORK 46:30 – Why is it there are always a steady stream of prostitutes parading through any police station.
WAXWORK 46:55 – The police detective wearing a bright mustard-yellow coat. Either he’s a Century21 relator or a relative of Dwight Schrute
WAXWORK 48:45 – I wish someone would bring back the fashions of the 80s. They made you look fat and skinny at the same time.
WAXWORK 53:30 – This is the part in the movie where you’d go get popcorn.
WAXWORK 54:00 – What is this girl next door’s obsession with the Marquis de Sade? She’s the catch of the town.
WAXWORK 56:00 – Only a movie geek like myself would find it odd that they’re in the Mummy exhibit, and they’re playing the Dracula theme.
WAXWORK 57:20 – The mummy just “Whoa…” Almost sounded like Keanu Reeves.
WAXWORK 57:45 – Second head-crushing scene of the movie. Makes up for the surfer dude mummy.
WAXWORK 59:00 – The only way these people can’t out-run this mummy is by not… moving… at… all.
WAXWORK 1:00:00 – I think someone should make an epic horror action movie starring Zach Galligan and William Ragsdale (fr Fright Night)
WAXWORK 1:04:15 – ZGalligan ain’t happy that evil souls will come back to life. Deborah Foreman, however, is moist for the Marquis de Sade
WAXWORK 1:05:00 – Oooooh… Patrick McNee is helpful… yet totally EVIL! (I kinda like him evil.)
WAXWORK 1:05:45 – He’s gotta burn down a whole wax museum, and he just brought two sterno canisters?
WAXWORK 1:07:45 – This Marquis de Sade is a total freak… but you know that already, didn’t you? Looks like DForeman’s getting her wish.
WAXWORK 1:09:30 – You can totally see up DForeman’s nose. I can tell she’s got a deviated septum and no allergies.
WAXWORK 1:10:20 – With ZGalligan going into a zombie exhibit, he’s suddenly in B&W like NOTLD… even though the exhibit is in color.
WAXWORK 1:10:50 – Lend you a hand? (You can guess what just happened)
WAXWORK 1:16:40 – She’s not going to trust you unless you promise to beat her every night. Like I said, the catch of the town.
WAXWORK 1:19:20 – Ahhhhh… the 80s. When dangling earrings on dudes were considered cool.
WAXWORK 1:20:00 – Jim Parsons from THE SIGNAL rises from the dead!
WAXWORK 1:21:10 – Wait! That’s the snakeman from DREAMSCAPE. Obscure reference, but awesome movie!
WAXWORK 1:21:50 – Apparently all the British folks in town just showed up to save the day.
WAXWORK 1:22:30 – The Marquis de Sade could fight way more effectively if he didn’t have such faaaaabulous hair.
WAXWORK 1:23:30 – The Marquis de Sade now thinks he’s in the next PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN movie.
WAXWORK 1:25:00 – All these dead bodies are going to be hard to explain to the police, amid the stead stream of prostitutes at the station.
WAXWORK 1:26:15 – Dracula just got his ass handed to him with a quote from DIRTY HARRY. Probably won’t see that ever again.
WAXWORK 1:29:00 – How does a rich kid from the suburbs expect to defeat the Marquis de Sade in sword fighting? Fencing classes paid off.
WAXWORK 1:29:45 – Ow! That hatchet that just barely penetrated my leather coat apparently hit a vital organ.
WAXWORK 1:31:30 – Third head-crushing scene of the film. Bravo!
WAXWORK 1:32:10 – And we’ll end the movie with the worst optical effect ever created to make the miniature castle look like it’s burning
WAXWORK 1:33:30 – We’re left open for a sequel with 50’s pop music as we ROLL CREDITS!
Final word on WAXWORK: Fun 80s cheese with some creative kills, but could have used some nudity for all the S&M scenes.
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