On December 1, Kevin traveled to the 1980s for some turkey leftovers by live-tweeting Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.
A big thanks (sort of) to @Regi_S for recommending the film.
Turkey leftover #12 is… “SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA,” a movie which should be awesome by the title alone. #kevincarrtweetsturkeys
SLIMEBALL 00:05 – This movie is presented by “Urban Classics,” and I’m pretty sure it’s neither.
SLIMEBALL 00:25 – Stars Leanna Quigley. Mark of quality… and boobs.
SLIMEBALL 00:45 – And Brinke Stevens. She’s a genius with like 2 PhDs and fluent in like five languages. And she has great boobs.
SLIMEBALL 02:00 – So far, this movie’s music doesn’t hold a candle to that of XANADU.
SLIMEBALL 02:40 – Nerdy college kids reading a Penthouse… back when they didn’t show penetration. Ah, the 80s.
SLIMEBALL 04:00 – Sororities in the 80s… when 35-year-old women could pass as college girls.
SLIMEBALL 05:30 – I’m pretty sure that sororities don’t do sexual hazing like a porno film. More about humiliation, which I can get into too
SLIMEBALL 07:00 – Yup, we’ve never seen college nerds portrayed as the horny kid, the fat kid and the horror movie fan.
SLIMEBALL 08:20 – That’s a whole lotta tube socks for three guys to wear.
SLIMEBALL 08:40 – Wait a minute… three sorority sisters and two pledges? What kind of sorority is this?
SLIMEBALL 09:30 – Okay, I do appreciate Brinke Stevens’ caboose c. 1988.
SLIMEBALL 11:15 – Spanking AND whipped cream??? Is this a sorority or a lesbian porno? Both, I hope.
SLIMEBALL 12:10 – Why is the main sorority hazer talking like Mae West? Does she even know who Mae West is?
SLIMEBALL 12:30 – Forgive my typos. We have a nude Brinke Stevens showering off whipped cream. I’m not even looking at my computer right now
SLIMEBALL 13:30 – All this Brinke Stevens nudity is being ruined by the nerdy guys peeping in the bathroom and making O-faces.
SLIMEBALL 14:25 – Why is there a picture of a dominatrix in leather in the sorority bathroom?
@FreddysFingers It makes me with I was in the 80s… and peeping in on the lesbian sorority initiation hazing ceremony, fer shure.
SLIMEBALL 18:10 – I’m pretty sure that no one listened to this crappy tune on the radio… even in the 80s.
SLIMEBALL 20:20 – This movie is making me wonder… how many mall-centric horror movies were made in the 70s and 80s? A lot.
SLIMEBALL 20:45 – Now for the spotlight on the creepy fat-Peter-Jackson-looking janitor, trapped in the closet.
SLIMEBALL 22:15 – Nothing says terror like nerds and 35-yr-old sorority pledges in a bowling alley.
SLIMEBALL 23:50 – And there’s Linnea Quigley. I wonder how long it’ll take for her clothes to come off.
SLIMEBALL 24:50 – What’s up with the random guitar licks? Sounds like the score for a low-budget Showtime action movie.
SLIMEBALL 27:10 – Is that a bowling trophy or a pasta maker?
SLIMEBALL 28:50 – Apparently this is the magical genie-in-the-lamp bowling trophy.
SLIMEBALL 29:15 – These kids seem pretty doggone unphazed by this jive-talking demon that just came out of the bowling trophy.
SLIMEBALL 30:00 – @carcarr819 just walked into the room, looked at the screen and said, “Oh, good Christ!” in disbelief.
SLIMEBALL 30:30 – Did the jive-talking demon just break the fourth wall?
SLIMEBALL 31:00 – From this angle, I can say with certainty that Linnea Quigley isn’t wearing a bra.
SLIMEBALL 32:30 – The fat guy wished for gold. His wish was granted, and what was his first thing he wants… to get his nails done. No lie.
SLIMEBALL 34:00 – This jive-talking demon makes Mudflaps and Skidz look like Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X.
SLIMEBALL 35:10 – I don’t think this nerd realizes that it’s customary to take off your pants when you have sex.
SLIMEBALL 36:50 – Is that what the queen of the prom looks like? Looks like a Disney Princess gone white trash.
SLIMEBALL 37:55 – I get it. The fat-Peter-Jackson janitor in the closet is comic relief. He’s the Gary Coleman of this movie.
SLIMEBALL 39:00 – They seem pretty upset that the creepy jive-talking demon that came out of a bowling trophy lied to them. Whodathunk?
SLIMEBALL 42:00 – Heads will roll. Wah-wah-wah-wah… ’cause it’s bowling, get it?
SLIMEBALL 42:30 – This guy throws up more than Paris Hilton at an Old Country Buffett.
SLIMEBALL 44:10 – Erm… fantasy Penthouse pet just took off the guy’s shoe and bit his stinky sweat sock. Is that even a registered fetish?
SLIMEBALL 45:55 – I’m pretty sure that Brinke Stevens is wearing LA Gear shoes. Remember those?
SLIMEBALL 46:55 – “Keith! I have your pants!” Are you sure this screenplay wasn’t nominated for an Oscar?
SLIMEBALL 48:30 – Ahhhh, the janitor is back. He was nominated for a Golden Globe for this film, wasn’t he?
SLIMEBALL 49;10 – The script has deteriorated into one-liner jokes… and not very good ones at that.
SLIMEBALL 50:00 – Wow… script’s not even following itself Keith (who had his pants stolen a scene ago) is now looking for his fantasy girl
SLIMEBALL 51:00 – This movie has the composition of SLAUGHTER HIGH… low-rent, even for a low-rent movie.
SLIMEBALL 52:00 – A tender love theme, perfectly played during a scene next to a unirnal. that’s cinematic beauty right there.
SLIMEBALL 53:00 – It’s really hard to have a high body count when you have less than 10 characters.
SLIMEBALL 54:20 – The whole movie begs the question… Who really puts a jive-talking demon in a bowling trophy? Really?
SLIMEBALL 56:50 – To be honest, I’d be totally cool with everyone dying in this movie.
SLIMEBALL 57:30 – Okay. I get the sorority babes. I get the bowl-o-rama. I don’t get the Slimeball part of the movie yet. Am I missing it?
SLIMEBALL 59:00 -“There’s some demons murdering my friends.” When this actor was doing summer stock, I’ll bet he never thought he’d say that
SLIMEBALL 1:00:00 – The janitor’s upset they let the imp (aka jive-talking demon) out after 30 years. Why is this a surprise?
SLIMEBALL 1:02:00 – I’m kinda bored with this explanation. Would be cooler if there was a flashback or two in there.
SLIMEBALL 1:02:30 – I found a flaw in this movie… Do imps (aka jive-talking demons) really help people improve their bowling score?
SLIMEBALL 1:03:50 – This scene was five whole minutes of exposition about the freaking imp in the freaking trophy. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
SLIMEBALL 1:06:00 – I will hand it to this movie. There’s more bush in this flick than there was in the White House for the past two decades
SLIMEBALL 1:07:55 – Girlfight!
SLIMEBALL 1:08:50 – And there’s the entire budget on screen right now… one big old burning she-demon.
SLIMEBALL 1:09:20 – “It’s too bad we had to kill her. I really liked the outfit she had on.” Yup. Those are the one-liners I’m dealing with.
SLIMEBALL 1:10:00 – These characters are pretty nonchalant about all the death and possession happening around them.
SLIMEBALL 1:11:55 – Two decapitations. Many breasts. Joe Bob Briggs would be proud.
SLIMEBALL 1:13:15 – And flipping the car broke the movie’s budget. That’s why the Imp looks like a cheap muppet knock-off.
SLIMEBALL 1:14:20 – At least Spider is acknowledging the fact that they can’t explain all the dead bodies.
SLIMEBALL 1:15:00 – Calvin rides off with Spider to have a relationship… and to get herpes.
SLIMEBALL 1:15:20 – And ROLL CREDITS!
Final thoughts on SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA… Poor production all around. But there was nudity & gore, so it was okay.
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