On October 11, Kevin live-tweeted the obscure 1973 made-for-TV horror movie, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 00:10 – Like BAD RONALD, the transfer from this movie was struck from 3/4 inch tape. 240 lines of awesome resolution.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 01:30 – The house is talking, and I don’t understand a word it’s saying.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 03:15 – A swinging couple is moving into a new house left by the grandmother. Boring realty talk.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 04:45 – They found a locked room from her grandfather who nailed the window shut. Vampire anyone? (prob not that cool)
DON’T BE AFRAID… 05:30 – Does a realtor really need to show that much chest hair? I know it’s the 70s, but come on!
DON’T BE AFRAID… 07:00 – The creepy handyman refuses to tell her why the fireplace is bricked up. Naw, that’s not suspicious at all.
According to the cover box, “Late Film” called this movie “Quite possibly the best made-for-TV horror movie ever.” Set the bar high, dudes.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 09:15 – The husband says this creepy basement room is cold and frigid… just like his wife.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 13:00 – The house is talking again: “Free! Free! She set us free!” I don’t think it’s cockroaches saying that.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 14:20 – “It will be like having a party in a subway.” Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
DON’T BE AFRAID… 15:45 – This guy’s Mr. Rogers sweater makes him instantly uncool.
Had to pause to capture the husband in his Mr. Rogers sweater… http://pic.gd/d3c921
Also, is that a boom mic and production gear making that shadow?… http://pic.gd/b0e836
DON’T BE AFRAID… 18:00 – The wife seems pretty casual about mice in the basement. She’s not even worried about evil creatures.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 19:30 – Husband didn’t believe wife that ash tray flew off the table by itself. No sex for him tonight.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 20:45 – “I don’t care what women’s lib tells me. The very mention of a mouse drives me crazy.” Really?
DON’T BE AFRAID… 21:10 – The most conspicuous extras ever in television history.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 24:50 – “I’m a perfect woman: stubborn and curious.” Dialogue right from the era of women’s lib.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 25:45 – There are some interesting parallels to this movie and the current PARANORMAL ACTIVITY.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 27:00 – So that was obviously a commercial break… now they’re trying to seal up the fireplace again. Not gonna work.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 30:15 – Even though the main characters are kinda boring, the evil creatures in the walls are a bit creepy.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 32:30 – A troll comes out of the flower pot. Looks like Sam from TRICK ‘R TREAT. More demons, please.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 34:30 – Another creepy creature. I can see why this gave some kids nightmares.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 36:45 – Ah, the demon uses a coat hanger to turn off the light. They’re not just for abortions any more. (too much?)
DON’T BE AFRAID… 37:20 – These little evil demons remind me of the breath stealer from CAT’S EYE.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 37:55 – It took her too long to notice the lights had been turned out… and when on, it looks like a massage parlor.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 40:45 – And that’s the closest we’ll get to sex in this movie… kissing in bath robes.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 42:10 – This movie’s concept isn’t half bad; the execution is awkward. But it could work as a remake. Seriously, it could
DON’T BE AFRAID… 44:00 – Why do even the dorky guys in the 70s unbutton their shirts down to their navels?
DON’T BE AFRAID… 45:15 – Okay, that was a creepy-ass scene… the handyman stuck in the basement with the trolls.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 49:00 – If they’re going to sell the house, are they legally obligated to disclose haunting by tiny demons?
DON’T BE AFRAID… 51:30 – Mini-demon booby trap in a scene strangely reminiscent of TOY STORY.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 52:00 – “It’s your spirit we want,” mini-demons said. @FyodorFish is right. That would make a 6-yr-old bruns in his pants
DON’T BE AFRAID… 54:55 – Why did Sally’s friend not look this hot in her earlier scene. She’s a real MILF
DON’T BE AFRAID… 56:15 – When the mini-demons kill your realtor and then stare at you from behind books, it’s time to check into a motel.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 58:30 – Sleeping pills. Everyone used sleeping pills in the 70s. It was California state law.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 1:02:30 – The mini-demons cut the power. Cut the power? But they’re animals!
DON’T BE AFRAID… 1:07:00 – Like the TV movie of ‘Salem’s Lot, the original story of the mini-demons would have been better told flashback
DON’T BE AFRAID… 1:08:15 – The vocal effects are pretty creepy and effective. Tho just because they call your name doesn’t mean you go.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 1:09:30 – The MILF is thwarted in her escape attempt by some broken glass. She’s just not committed.
DON’T BE AFRAID… 1:10:50 – This is the 2nd movie this week where the heroine uses a flashbulb to light up a dark house. Coincidence?
DON’T BE AFRAID… 1:12:45 – Pretty decent ending, and ROLL CREDITS!
Final word on DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK… Has the warts of a 70s TV movie, but a pretty cool concept. Def has its moments. Rent it.
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