On October 2, Kevin live-tweeted the 1974 TV movie Bad Ronald. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.
BAD RONALD 00:15 – This TV movie stars Dabney Coleman. And the transfer looks… awful. Gate weave, blurry. I’ve seen better snuff films.
BAD RONALD 01:30 – In case you were wondering about this film, read up on it at: http://bit.ly/qnDS3 (IMDb) or http://bit.ly/2CAAKq (Wiki)
BAD RONALD 03:15 – So far, it’s about a nerdy high school kid with an overbearing mother. Never seen that before in a horror movie.
BAD RONALD 04:30 – I can’t get over this awesome transfer. They must have spent a whole $12 on it. Must have been remastered for 3/4″ tape.
BAD RONALD 05:35 – Ahhhh, the 1970s, when 35-year-old men with mustaches could pass as high school kids.
BAD RONALD 06:00 – His glasses disappeared for one scene and are suddenly back. Continuity isn’t expected in 1974.
BAD RONALD 07:00 – Ronald just killed a kid on a bike because she called him “weird.” That was the 1974 nerd equivalent of the n-word.
BAD RONALD 08:30 – “I found a shovel and buried her.” How many people just leave shovels lying around for convenient murder clean-up.
BAD RONALD 11:30 – “What about the shed?” “No, that’s the first place they’ll look.” Sounds like mom’s been through this before.
BAD RONALD 13:20 – Here’s the cover box, in case ur curious… http://pic.gd/59fc And a link to watch the trailer… http://bit.ly/vAVZX
BAD RONALD 14:30 – So the gist of this movie is Ronald kills a girl then hides in the wall of his house. But where the F is Dabney Coleman?
BAD RONALD 15:30 – 1974 TV police always show up with a white detective and a black detective. It’s a rule.
BAD RONALD 17:30 – This movie is just like the 1st Harry Potter, only there’s no wizards, it’s not British and it’s crappy made-for-TV
BAD RONALD 19:20 – The video on this DVD just warped. Did they strike this off of an old VHS tape?
BAD RONALD 22:45 – He’s doing push-ups in his cupboard. Made it to five. This guy will be rippppped soon.
BAD RONALD – Heres the nosy neighbor. Yes, this movie is *that* awesome. http://twitpic.com/k1trf
BAD RONALD 28:45 – The mom literally won’t let him out of his cupboard. Where does he poo? That’s what I want to know.
BAD RONALD 30:00 – We’re a half hour in, and I repeat: Where the F is Dabney Coleman!??
BAD RONALD 32:20 – Ahhhhh… the mom died when she was out at the grocery store, and Ronald is stuck alone in the walls.
BAD RONALD 33:00 – Apparently Piglet (John Fielder) is the realtor selling the house. Don’t trust Piglet to sell your house.
BAD RONALD 35:45 – Piglet is selling the house but didn’t notice the giant room hidden behind the wall, harboring a psychopath.
BAD RONALD 37:00 – Piglet said, “I guess bathrooms just weren’t that important when the house was built.” How is this guy licensed?
BAD RONALD 38:15 – Apparently the Brady Bunch is moving into the house. And no one yet noticed the peephole in the wall.
BAD RONALD 38:45 – Holy crap! There’s Dabney Coleman as Mike Brady. Let’s move our 3 hot teenage daughters into the house with a killer.
BAD RONALD 40:30 – “It’s looking a lot better on the inside now,” says Dabney Coleman…. yeah, so’s your daughter!
BAD RONALD 42:00 – So far, Ronald’s only bad move was killing that girl in the first five minutes… and his acting. And general creepiness.
BAD RONALD 45:00 – Ronald snuck out to raid the fridge, and the nosy neighbor saw him… and has a heart attack. Lame.
BAD RONALD 45:45 – Methinks this movie should be named BORING RONALD
BAD RONALD 52:45 – The teenage girls are complaining that someone read her diary (hint: it was Ronald). This *is* an episode of Brady Bunch.
BAD RONALD 56:40 – Ronald is living in a delusional fantasy world. Makes MAZES & MONSTERS look like made-for-TV brilliance.
BAD RONALD 59:30 – Whoa! that was a upskirt panties shot of a 14-year-old girl! On broadcast TV in the 1970s, no less. WTF?
BAD RONALD 1:00:20 – “Babs ran away. I found this note in the typewriter.” What high school kid writes a runaway note on a typewriter?
BAD RONALD 1:05:00 – Ronald finally killed someone else for realz. He now has earned his title of “BAD”
BAD RONALD 1:07:30 – WTF!!! He didn’t kill the guy? The movie is now “SLIGHTLY WRONG RONALD.”
BAD RONALD 1:09:20 – Finally, after living in the house for God knows how long, someone finds Ronald’s peephole. Lame.
BAD RONALD 1:10:10 – And that’s it. ROLL CREDITS! (and shame on you, Dabney Coleman!)
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