On December 19, Kevin watched Ron Howard’s big-screen adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas, released on Blu-ray for this holiday season. He watched it with his kids, but live-tweeted it to maintain his sanity. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.
Now it’s time to watch Ron Howard’s THE GRINCH with the kids… and to live-tweet for sanity’s sake.
Kudos to Unviersal for making THE GRINCH a BD/DVD combo pack, which adds value. (WB is now making this a standard practice, btw.)
Pressing PLAY on THE GRINCH.
GRINCH 01:30 – Hannibal Lecter is narrating the movie.
GRINCH 02:20 – Wow. Already the movie is ear-bleeding obnoxious, and Jim Carrey hasn’t even shown up yet.
GRINCH 02:40 – There’s the token black Who.
GRINCH 03:40 – In the original story, the Whos were all about the spirit of X-mas….
…In this movie, they’re all about buying crap like the the redneck Wal-Mart on black Friday.
GRINCH 06:30 – The Grinch is now dressed like a Jedi Donnie Darko rabbit.
GRINCH 09:20 – Cindy Lou Who already has waaaaaay too much screen time.
GRINCH 11:00 – Are these the same Whos from HORTON HEARS A WHO?
GRINCH 13:50 – Don’t get your hopes up, Cindy Lou… The Grinch saved you not because he’s nice, but becasue he’s on parole.
GRINCH 14:55 – Oh God help us all… Christine Baranski in a Santa Baby short shirt. (I just threw up in my mouth)
GRINCH 16:00 – The Grinch’s reign of terror includes some prank phone calls? WTF?
GRINCH 17:50 – Is the Grinch an analogy for homeless people? i think so.
GRINCH 19:20 – The anti-commercial message in this film is a tad lost in the massive $120+M budget and the $345M global box office.
GRINCH 21:10 – The Grinch’s heart has shrunk a size and a half. He’s a homeless man with congenital heart failure. And he’s shunned.
GRINCH 25:00 – The Grinch makes one uuuuuuuugly baby. Even uglier than the Olsen Twins on FULL HOUSE.
GRINCH 25:45 – Holy guacamole! The Whos are having a key party. Well, I guess it *was* the 60s. Tho kinda odd for a kids movie.
GRINCH 27:15 – Martha May Who had a thing for the Grinch in school. She’s into the avacado love.
GRINCH 30:35 – The Whos should consider themselves lucky that the Grinch went into seclusion rather than becoming a serial killer.
GRINCH 32:50 – Why does the Grinch look pregnant?
GRINCH 34:00 – So in this version, the Whos are just a bunch of a-holes.
GRINCH 40:20 – I’m convinced that Jim Carrey thought he was doing Hamlet-worthy acting in THE GRINCH. Also convinced that no one else did.
GRINCH 43:50 – It’s all fun and games until Cindy Lou Who breaks her neck and the Grinch is tried for manslaughter.
GRINCH 47:00 – My favorite character in this movie… Max the dog, by a mile.
GRINCH 47:55 – Dear God in heaven… another Christine Baranski boob shot. Is there no mercy?
GRINCH 49:00 – These old surrogate mothers for the Grinch nursed him? After the key party? This movie is so filled with horrid sexual ideas.
GRINCH 50:00 – The “Who Pudding Cook Off”… After the key party, I don’t want to know what’s in teh Who Pudding.
GRINCH 52:45 – The Christmas shave??? So the Mayor is envious of the Grinch’s green pubescent nature?
GRINCH 54:10 – Was the Grinch scratching the car to get everyone’s attention an homage to Quint from JAWS???
GRINCH 54:40 – The Grinch is revealing the Whos’ garbage secrets. If he starts talking about their used condoms and porno mags, I’m leaving.
GRINCH 56:30 – So the Grinch is also an arsonist. This movie could get really ugly were it any good.
GRINCH 58:10 – The Michael Bay explosion? Was that necessary? Is this movie necessary?
GRINCH 1:00:00 – We are an hour in, and there’s no stealing Christmas yet. Get with the program!
GRINCH 1;02:45 – The Grinch theme song… I liked it better when Tony the Tiger sang it.
GRINCH 1:07:45 – Wait… If he’s got a massive gas-powered sleigh, why does the Grinch need a reindeer-dog?
GRINCH 1;08:20 – “I’m going to throw up. And then I’m going to die.” That’s not just a movie quote. It’s a review of the film.
GRINCH 1:13:15 – This Cindy Lou Who scene made more sense in the original animated film without the hour of set-up.
GRINCH 1:15:35 – What’s amazing about Christine Baranski in this movie is that she didn’t need any make-up to look like a Who.
GRINCH 1:17:50 – “He rode with his load to the tip top to dump it.” Yeah, this movie dumps a load all right.
GRINCH 1:21:25 – There’s still like 25 minutes left in this movie. Isn’t this the end, tho?
GRINCH 1:25:00 – From a medical standpoint, having your heart enlarge like that, especially that quickly, would kill you.
GRINCH 1:27:00 – The Grinch learning the true meaning of Christmas is putting me to sleep. If only the Grinch were really bruning insdie.
GRINCH 1:28:55 – Wait! What the hell is Cindy Lou Who doing on that sleigh??? Drop her off of Mount Crumpit, I say!
GRINCH 1:32:15 – This movie quite simply knows not where it should end.
GRINCH 1:33:30 – The Grinch says he’s sorry for stealing Christmas. Does it make all the vandalism okay?
GRINCH 1:35:40 – I’m just waiting for someone to insist that the Grinch actually wear some pants.
GRINCH 1:36:30 – And the Grinch got to carve the roast beast. Is that a euphanism to him banging Christine Baranski?
GRINCH 1:38:00 – And ROLL CREDITS!
Final thoughts on Ron Howard’s THE GRINCH… I liked every part of Chuck Jones’ television special better… in every way.
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