Fat Guys at the Movies » Live-Tweets

Kevin Live-Tweets ‘Dreamscape’

Kevin Carr — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 07:46:04 +0000

On January 16, Kevin joined a bunch of friends on Twitter to live-tweet the mid-80s sci-fi thriller Dreamscape. Here’s a log of his tweets, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

For a complete list of all tweets, search #dreamscapetweet on Twitter.

In honor of the upcoming DREAMSCAPE live-tweet at 11:30pmET/8:30pmPT, I have changed my avatar to a snake man!

Before we start DREAMSCAPE, here’s some odd DREAMSCAPE trivia for you: It’s the 2nd movie to receive a PG-13 rating. (The 1st was RED DAWN.)

Also, I purchased a copy of DREAMSCAPE on VHS at the RST Video Store in Leonardo, NJ, made famous by @ThatKevinSmith.

While at RST Video, I was waited on by the guy who seriously could have been the inspiration for Randall.

#dreamscapetweet 00:20 – Nothing says 80s like a synth soundtrack.

#dreamscapetweet 01:00 – From this point forth, I demand to be called Kevin “Bumper” Carr.

#dreamscapetweet 02:40 – Whoa! A white president? That’s crazy talk!

#dreamscapetweet 03:15 – Wow. Kate Capshaw was pretty cute back then. No wonder Spielberg jumped her bones.

#dreamscapetweet 06:00 – Cue awesome 80s synth chase scene score.

#dreamscapetweet 06:30 – The soundtrack sounds like the background music for The Wizard of Wor.

#dreamscapetweet 09:00 – Oh crap! Automatic locks! Foiled again!

#dreamscapetweet 12:10 – Why is Kate Capshaw wearing nurse’s stockings? Is she just trying to turn me on?

#dreamscapetweet 13:20 – So 3 or 4 erections a night is normal? What if you have just one loooooooong all-night erection?

#dreamscapetweet 14:00 – My son Liam just said Quaid was like a little kid running around, being too curious.

#dreamscapetweet 15:40 – Totally waiting for Dennis Quaid and Max Von Sydow to start making out.

#dreamscapetweet 18:15 – Norm!

#dreamscapetweet 19:20 – For those who don’t know this… Cory “Bumper” Yothers is the brother of Tina “Non-Bumper” Yothers from FAMILY TIES

#dreamscapetweet 20:25 – I think that other psychic just crapped himself.

#dreamscapetweet 21:25 – Must be cold in that room. Quaid could cut glass with those nipples.

#dreamscapetweet 24:20 – You’d be hauled away too if you spent time in the mind of Cory “Bumper” Yothers.

#dreamscapetweet 27:05 – That is one high-tech brain scan. Damn!

#dreamscapetweet 29:30 – I’d scream like that too if I were caught in a bad blue-screen like he was.

#dreamscapetweet 30:00 – David Patrick Kelly is pretty badass, but he loses street cred in that periwinkle paisley shirt.

#dreamscapetweet 32:15 – Wow. Short shorts and bright red running shoes. He could be on @PeopleofWalmart

#dreamscapetweet 35:00 – That’s right… fear of nuclear war and worries about the children. We’re in the 80s fer shure.

#dreamscapetweet 38:20 – This nerdy guy’s wife is quite a hottie. Heh heh…. just you wait.

#dreamscapetweet 41:45 – At least the kids got a front-row seat.

#dreamscapetweet 43:20 – Alex trying to “go in” Buddy reminds me of IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY’s “The Nightman Cometh” musical.

#dreamscapetweet 46:00 – Isn’t that Morpheus’s chair from THE MATRIX?

#dreamscapetweet 48:00 – I just wet myself.

#dreamscapetweet 48:55 – Nothing to lose your head over.

#dreamscapetweet 51:55 – I think George Wendt was contractually obligated to only appear in bars on film in the 1980s.

#dreamscapetweet 52:45 – The kids are currently drawing pictures of the Snake Man. Awesome.

#dreamscapetweet 54:10 – Man, Kate Capshaw’s still wearing those nurse’s stockings. Yikes!

@StellarReviews How ’bout them Capshaw-boobs now? #dreamscapetweet

#dreamscapetweet 56:30 – We lost @carcarr819. She’s going to bed. Hope she doesn’t dream of the Snake Man!

#dreamscapetweet 1:01:25 – Novotny must be kicking himself for hiring David Patrick Kelly. Didn’t he see the guy’s other films?

#dreamscapetweet 1:02:30 – Every time I see this scene, I crave a deli sandwich and a Coke.

#dreamscapetweet 1:07:30 – Pep rallies save the day again.

#dreamscapetweet 1:08:00 – He must have shot the pen in Norm’s pocket. That’s why black ink exploded everywhere.

#dreamscapetweet 1:10:00 – Early in PG-13′s history, you could drop 2 or 3 F-bombs before getting an R-rating apparently.

#dreamscapetweet My son Ben’s picture of the Snake Man he just drew… quite awesome… http://twitpic.com/ygf3v

#dreamscapetweet 1:14:45 – Splat. Right in a pile of horse manure.

#dreamscapetweet Ben’s Snake Man, in living color!… http://twitpic.com/yggbf

#dreamscapetweet And my other son Liam’s Snake Man pictures… http://twitpic.com/yggex http://twitpic.com/yggez http://twitpic.com/yggf5

#dreamscapetweet 1:20:20 – This university has a lot of frickin’ guns.

@ThatStevenC I swear to god there were boobs in the sex dream when I saw it in theaters.

#dreamscapetweet 1:21:45 – That computer in the background looks like Edgar from ELECTRIC DREAMS.

#dreamscapetweet 1:23:00 – Sedative? Give him a sed-a-give!

#dreamscapetweet 1:27:15 – Hey, is that Denzel Washington in the background, carryinga book?

#dreamscapetweet 1:30:15 – Whoa! Eddie Albert is sporting Robert Pattinson hair.

#dreamscapetweet 1:32:50 – Ahhhh… A dead giveaway for a dream… the wide-angle lens.

#dreamscapetweet 1:34:45 – A sure sign any 80s movie is over… the saxaphone love theme.

#dreamscapetweet 1:35:00 – And ROLL CREDITS!

Final thoughts on DREAMSCAPE… one of my fav movies as a kid. Still love it, and love the 80s cheese w/ stop-motion & blue-screen.

@FyodorFish @StellarReviews @ThatStevenC Actually, DREAMSCAPE (Aug. 1984) came out 3 months before NOES (Nov. 1984)

Thanks to @StellarReviews @FyodorFish @DrewBloodNYC @AaronDej @Fozziebare @ThatStevenC for the DREAMSCAPE live-tweet! #dreamscapetweet

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Kevin Live-Tweets ‘Troll 2′

Kevin Carr — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 17:50:05 +0000

On January 9, Kevin joined a bunch of friends on Twitter to live-tweet the worst bad movie of all time, Troll 2. Here’s a log of his tweets, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

For a complete list of all tweets, search #troll2tweet on Twitter.

#troll2tweet 00:40 – “Haughty creatures.” And by “haughty,” they mean “badly dressed with silly masks.”

#troll2tweet 01:25 – This is presented by “Filmirage.” Ever hear of them? Me neither.

#troll2tweet 02:00 – Music brought to you by… a middle school kid with a Casio keyboard.

@ThatStevenC I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with the first one.

#troll2tweet 03:00 – Are those freckles, or did someone sneeze on her face while eating choclate pudding?

#troll2tweet 04:20 – What the hell kind of bedtime story is this?

#troll2tweet 05:00 – Apparently Grandpa Seth doesn’t exist… just like years ago when he would molest the kid, apparently.

#troll2tweet 05:50 – I had that Joker poster in my room too, when I was a kid. No joke.

#troll2tweet 07:00 – That’s Nilbog. Spell it. N-I-L-B-O-G. That’s “goblin” spelled backwards, right?

@MrDeath Grandpa Seth told me never to tell anyone he was in my room.

#troll2tweet 09:30 – Whew. That’s 893 bench presses. That’ll make my sweaty boobs get bigger, right?

#troll2tweet 10:15 – Apparently this movie claims that destroying your testicles makes you a homosexual. I don’t think that’s right.

#troll2tweet 12:45 – The mom likes “Row row row your boat” sooooo much?

#troll2tweet 14:00 – Welcome to the honky-tonk musical highway.

#troll2tweet 15:35 – Wait… the mother just happens to have a hamburger? WTF?

#troll2tweet 17:30 – Look closely at the Nilbog street sign… it says 125 N St. There’s 125 streets in this town?

#troll2tweet 19:15 – Nilbog: the town of ill-fitting clothes.

#troll2tweet 21:00 – Was that a POV shot of the food?

#troll2tweet 21:55 – I personally never think twice about putting blue butter on my corn.

#troll2tweet 23:00 – So he peed on the food. Nice. What about the food that was already almost in their mouths. Think about it.

#troll2tweet 24:33 – Okay, the exploding monkey egg movie the guys are watching in the RV looks like a worse movie.

#troll2tweet 25:20 – Hey! There’s a girl! She looks hurt, but I’m sure she wants to have sex.

#troll2tweet 26:45 – Wow. That yellow-eye mask looks bad even for this movie.

#troll2tweet 28:15 – Erm… hiding in the house should involve closing the door after you go inside.

#troll2tweet 28:50 – “This is myyyyyy house.” I don’t even know what to say about that.

#troll2tweet 32:00 – This movie is a must-see for anyone with a sploshing fetish.

#troll2tweet 32:50 – Why do the goblins wear rags when this crazy druid lady wears such faaabulous clothes? That doesn’t seem fair.

#troll2tweet 33:35 – I ma totally sexually confused with the Jr. Birdman Garfield night-shirt pop dance moves.

#troll2tweet 35:15 – Dude… button up them PJs. This ain’t the 70s.

@ThatStevenC That shot was featured in Conan O’Brien’s Oprah movie club segment when he recommended this movie. #troll2tweet

#troll2tweet 37:35 – What the hell happened last night in the RV? I’m just saying?

#troll2tweet 38:35 – That hair makes the mom look like a hammerhead shark.

#troll2tweet 40:15 – Oh delish! A sandwich with bright green goo in it. Let me eat that right up.

#troll2tweet 41:30 – All this milk in Nilbog goes directly against the folklore set down in ERNEST SCARED STUPID.

#troll2tweet 45:30 – Big plot point here, folks… shades of REDRUM in the mirror.

#troll2tweet 46:30 – ‘Cause nothing says refreshment like rancid goblin milk on a hot walk hom.

#troll2tweet 49:15 – Looks like the kid stumbled into an Amway meeting.

@ThatStevenC That’s why they call them goblins. Because a town called Llort would just be silly. #troll2tweet

#troll2tweet 50:35 – “smelly bladders” “clusters of hemmeroids”? Clearly penned by Kurtzman and Orci.

#troll2tweet 53:00 – You’d think that if the goblins wanted to lure people in, they wouldn’t call their town “Goblin” spelled backwards.

#troll2tweet 54:35 – True story… this friend of the boyfriend sent his head shot into a short film I worked on. He didn’t get the part.

#troll2tweet 55:45 – For the record, my kids are TOTALLY into this movie right now.

#troll2tweet 57:30 – This movie is just like DISTRICT 9, but instead of prawns, they turn into plants.

#troll2tweet 1:01:00 – I thought there were only like 28 people who lived in the town.

#troll2tweet 1:01:30 – I don’t think Joshua has enough pee in his bladder to take care of all this food.

#troll2tweet 1:03:55 – It’s a good thing her hand grew back with her fingernail polish intact.

#troll2tweet 1:05:25 – Does Grandpa Seth realize that his family is in the building they want to set on fire?

#troll2tweet 1:07:00 – This kid better hope to hell these are goblins because he just set the freaking preacher on fire.

#troll2tweet 1:08:30 – This movie was on the bleeding edge of the mullet craze of the 1990s.

#troll2tweet 1:10:30 – Man, they’re really pushing the green goo sandwiches.

#troll2tweet 1:11:40 – I really wish I got the Nilbog channel on my cable system. You hear that, AT&T!

#troll2tweet 1:12:45 – So this kid’s watching caveman porn alone in the RV, drinking Mtn Dew? He rocks out like that, I guess.

#troll2tweet 1:15:30 – I am as confused by the popcorn sex as I am with the Garfield sleep shirt dance number.

#troll2tweet 1:16:50 – No costly digital effects for lightning here. We have cardboard cut-outs.

#troll2tweet 1:17:50 – Destroy the magic stone that gives the goblins their power? Now you’re just making shit up as you go along.

#troll2tweet 1:21:30 – These are the DELIVERENCE goblims… ‘cause they queal like pigs.

#troll2tweet 1:24:10 – I think the popcorn is a symbol of cultural relativism in a pluralistic society.

#troll2tweet 1:26:10 – Where’s a can of MIAK when you really need it?

#troll2tweet 1:27:10 – So this entire movie was a giant message film about vegetarianism??? WTF?

#troll2tweet 1:27:45 – “Only the power of goodness can destroy these monsters!” That and a double-decker bologna sandwich.

#troll2tweet 1:32:55 – “They’re eating my mom.” The dirties thing said in the movie.

#troll2tweet 1:33:45 – And ROLL CREDITS!

Final thoughts on TROLL 2. My 2nd time seeing it, and it was freaking hysterical. Soooooo goofy and sooooo fun. #troll2tweet

@bestworstmovie Some tweeps and I just watched TROLL 2 and live-tweeted it. Check out the feed at #troll2tweet. Fun times.

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The ‘Halloween Resurrection’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 12:31:03 +0000

On January 3, Kevin joined @ThatStevenC to live-tweet the final coffin in the first Halloween series, Halloween Resurrection. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 00:25 – Starring Busta Rhymes. I am terrified already.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 00:35 The Halloween theme is so great. I am honored to share a name with the legendary John Carpenter lol

kevincarr: #h8tweet 00:50 – With Tyra Banks AND Jamie Lee Curtis. The quality of this flick has gone up and lowered at the same time.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet I think Halloween:Reserrection ruined Busta Rhymes career.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 2:40 Its Jamie Lee Curtis. Wow she isn’t looking so great. must be that insane asylum life she’s living in

kevincarr: #h8tweet 02:45 – Enter JLC before her endorsement of Activia “It Will Make You Poop Good” Yogurt.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 3:25 No Michael Myers aka Austin Powers.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 4:15 H8 may be the most uneceassary sequel in the history of horror films. I will be sure to write then in my review. even though

kevincarr: #h8tweet 05:10 – It’s good to see the religious leader from BSG had a stable job as a psych nurse before the colonies were destroyed.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 05:45 – OMG. If I could find that Raggedy Ann doll filled with tranquelizers, I’d make a killing.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 6:15 why are security guards always so fat? no offense to anybody I may be live tweeting with

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 7:35 is this guy in the crazy house for loving serial killers? don’t you have to do something crazy to get locked away in one

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 8:25 Oh shit I just remembered I skipped dinner! Screw the espaced crazy guy, i gotta get a bag of chips first

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC No worries. I have never had a job as a security guard. #h8tweet

kevincarr: #h8tweet 09:20 – Why does the soundtrack sound like some guy’s belly trying to digest a pizza?

kevincarr: #h8tweet 09:55 – Erm… you stepped over the dead body to look in the dryer? How could you miss that?

kevincarr: #h8tweet 10:30 – The I <3 Serial Killers art therapy might not be the right way to go with this guy.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 11:35 - What is up with the hair on that Michael Myers’ mask??? He looks like Hyde from THAT 70S SHOW.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 12:00 how did Michael not notice the rope on the ground he stepped through? I would be more cautious if i was a serial killer

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 13:45 I wasn’t aware cutting rope made a loud screeching noise.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 14:30 Laurie is dead. that was fast. why did u need to look at his freaking face? u really remember what he looks like still?

kevincarr: #h8tweet 14:45 - Can’t really blame JLC for making sure she gets killed in the first 15 minutes. Four H movies is enough for her.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 16:20 - Notice the I <3 Serial Killlers patient failed to mention any of the deaths from HALLOWEEN 3.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 16:30 hmn I wonder what Mike Myers was doing the last 3 years. maybe he was hanging out in the forest w his buddy jason.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 17:40 a college class with only 1 person paying attention. this is actually pretty realistic

kevincarr: #h8tweet 17:55 - Holy frak! It’s Starbuck!

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 18:10 its Katee Sackoff aka Starbuck from BSG. damn she is hot... but quite annoying in this film.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 19:00 - "We’re gonna be bigger than The Osbournes." That’s dating the movie in a big way.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 19:35 hidden cameras in the shower? sounds good to me!

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC Yeah, she definitely looks good in a role that allows her to shower and use make-up. #h8tweet

kevincarr: #h8tweet 21:20 - so @carcarr819 just came in the room and identified that kid from THE LUCK OF THE IRISH. Go figure.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 21:50 a time b4 internet porn? wow that sounds horrible.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 22;20 - Wow. I remember when it was cool to make horror movies with a cyberspace background. Fear Dot Com, e.g.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 23:30 Tyra Banks looks great as well. I’m not sure how she managed to have any sort of career after being in this though.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 23:35 - Wow. She really overreacted to that light breaking.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 24:30 - Whose idea was it to put Busta Rhymes in this movie? He’s like pickles in an ice cream sundae.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 24:35 a black guy interested in karate? I guess that’s something original abt the film.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 25:50 - Who hauls that many pumpkins on Halloween day? It’s like shipping Christmas trees on December 24.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 27:00 - Wait! I want to hear more about this kid’s sister’s tatoo.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 28:45 what the hell is up with this crappy pop music playing in the Myers house? damn

kevincarr: #h8tweet 29:30 - Holy crap! Tyra Banks had one hell of a badonkadonk, and it nearly took out the camera in that last shot.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 29:45 since when did Michael start sounding like Darth Vader?

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 31:25 it looks as if Michael Myers could get a 2nd career as a cameraman. now that would be interesting

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 33:35 isn’t that guy in the white from American Pie? thought he looked familiar

kevincarr: #h8tweet 33:45 - Why is the token black guy always a wannabe chef. I’ve seen that like a dozen times.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 34:40 wow im not gonna comment on the when do your legs open line. wow that was bad

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC He’s also the kid from ROOKIE OF THE YEAR. Funky butt-lovin’! #h8tweet

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 35:45 apparently Michael Myers is secretly a gourmet cook who must keep fresh spices in his old abandoned house.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 35:45 - Do the characters really think people would watch this webcast? I’m having trouble watching the movie.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 36:45 the guy from American Pie is apparently still trying to get laid. only this time its with katee sackoff instead of Tera Reed

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet so decker decides to go to the party but goes directly for the computer in the house. haha i don’t think im even that lame

kevincarr: #h8tweet 38:40 - What little imps. Putting jack-o-lanterns on haunted house’s doorsteps? What about just egging a house?

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 39:40 american pie guy grabbing Katee’s ass. what a great guy.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 39:45 - I will concede that Starbuck does have a nice poopcutter there.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 41:20 isn’t this movie rated R? I remember seeing more skin from Katee in BSG than that.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 43:00 - Hot, aloof chick correcting grammar. Another reason to sneak out of bed in the morning before she wakes up.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 43:35 what? did I just hear the chick mention lesbians? I am now interested in what she has to say

kevincarr: #h8tweet 43:40 - Was that supposed to be a reference to the Twinkie Defense? The screenwriter didn’t even do his homework fo rthat one.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 45:00 - OMG, Busta Rhymes, quit talking already!

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 45:15 why the hell are Tyra and Busta celebrating? Its not like this movie made any money. there acting like its fucking Avatar

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 47:25 so american pie guy is dead. kinda glad. he was getting pretty damn annoying.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 48:50 - This movie makes about as much sense in the series as TCS: NEXT GEN did for that one.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 49:40 oh great you found the guy to Myer’s dungeon. what a great place to have sex.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 50:50 I’m sure Myers is into all kinds of crazy weird bondage sex

kevincarr: #h8tweet 51:10 - And now they’re stealing camera angles from THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 51:45 boobs! finally! mixed in with a little dead guy sours the mood a bit though.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 53:20 - Oh yeah. There’s Michael Myers. I forgot he was in this movie.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 53:55 look! There are 2 Michael Myers!

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 55:20 I think Busta was trying to talk the real Myers to death. It kinda worked. he walked away and u didn’t die.

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC I think Busta just confused Michael Myers. That’s the only explanation for why he wasn’t killed. #h8tweet

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 57:10 keeping a pic of your sister right next to your bed is kinda creepy. hopefully he doesn’t use that for what I think he does

kevincarr: #h8tweet 58:50 - You know... after watching this movie, I’m not so sour on the Rob Zombie remake. This thing is terrible.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 1:01:30 - Are they implying that reality TV and what’s on the internet isn’t totally true? Is there no honor in entertainmnet?

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 1:02 Lets go scare the shit out of more of these motherfuckers! great idea lol

kevincarr: #h8tweet 1:04:00 - Nothing to lose your head over.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet haha Katee Sackoff just got beheaded with a butcher knife. you gotta love that.

kevincarr: #h8tweet What would really raise the quality of any further HALLOWEEN movie is to have Steven Seagal play Michael Myers.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet the black guy is in a knife fight with Micheal Myers. How can you possible not love that?

Stellar143: @kevincarr no, Gary Busey #h8tweet

kevincarr: #h8tweet 1:08:40 - When someone says "don’t scream," they usually mean "don’t audibly gasp" as well.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet i have never seen a phone where u receive a text one letter at a time. damn that would be annoying as hell

kevincarr: @Stellar143 Or... they could bring back Gary Busey to play the character of Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasance). #h8tweet

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 1:09 sara just kicked Myers in the face. Nice!

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC I don’t even think that’s a phone. I think it’s supposed to be a Palm Pilot. #h8tweet

kevincarr: #h8tweet 1:12:25 - Okay... the Busta Rhymes karate yell. That is pretty ridiculously funny.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet Busta is fighting Myers with karate. possibly the best scene in film history.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 1:14:50 - And Busta Rhymes just got busted.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet seems like Busta is hitting on Sara. doesn’t he still have Tyra Banks to boink?

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 1:15:50 classic horror mistake: running downstairs or upstairs instead of actually using brain and getting the hell out of house

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 1:17:20 that’s a lot of blood. oh wait I guess Tyra is dead. don’t remember that ever happening.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 1:17:25 - Maybe Tyra Banks and her enormous badonkadonk will come in and save the day.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 1:18:05 - A chain saw? Seriously?. This is happening? Is she going to grab a machete or a five-fingered-knife glove as well?

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 1:18:30 chainsaw seems to be an ineffective way to deal with Myers. who is he Wolverine? How the hell could that not cut him?

kevincarr: #h8tweet 1:20:00 - Again, I think Busta Rhymes’ power over Michael Myers is that he just confuses him.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 1:20:15 "Trick or treat Motherfucker!" Easily the best line of dialog in the film.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 1:20:35 - Wow. Serioulsy? Nut-sack electrocution is the choice to kill Michael Myers? No wonder this led to Zombie’s remakes.

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC And delivered with such stoic brilliance and thespian expertise. #h8tweet

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet oh Deckard your a hero. maybe you will finally get to meet sara in person.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 1:22:50 - "Michael Myers is a killer shark in baggy-ass overalls." Yeah. That’s what John Carpenter intended from the beginning.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet a killer shark in baggy ass overalls. yeah that’s how I’d describe Myers as well.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet 1:23:45 yeah, genearally dead people aren’t.

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet michael is one crispy fried mother fucker. wow that was hysterical.

kevincarr: #h8tweet 1:25:15 - Michael Myers isn’t dead. What a surprise. And ROLL CREDITS!

ThatStevenC: #h8tweet & Roll Credits. wow H:R was surprisingly funny. especially the line "your a crispy fried motherfucker!"

kevincarr: Final thoughts on H: RESURRECTION. This was a truly awful installment in a decent series. Not surprised it killed it b4 the remake. #h8tweet

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Kevin Live-Tweets ‘The Blob’ (1988)

Kevin Carr — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 10:16:12 +0000

On December 26, Kevin joined a bunch of friends on Twitter to live-tweet the 1988 remake of the classic sci-fi horror movie The Blob. Here’s a log of his tweets, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

For a complete list of all tweets, search #blobtweet on Twitter.

#blobtweet 00:30 – A Tri-Star movie. Remember that production company, kids?

#blobtweet 1:50 – It’s not snowing in the ski town. Remember that, kiddos.

#blobtweet 02;20 – That was a black cat that just crossed the town’s path. Oooooooh!

#blobtweet 03:20 – Frank Darabont, director of THE MIST AND SHAWSHANK, helped write the screenplay. (Hey, I was in SHAWSHANK.)

#blobtweet 05:00 – A young, hot Shawnee Smith as a cheerleader, no less. I love this movie already.

#blobtweet 06:00 – And here’s Kevin Dillon, whose career went nowhere until it was revitalized with POSEIDON. Aka, his career is nowhere.

#blobtweet 07:25 – A hobo pours out beer then takes the can??? That’s the most unrealistic part of this movie.

#blobtweet 08:15 – For those keeping score, this sheriff is the prosecutor who convicted Tim Robbins in SHAWSHANK.

#blobtweet 09:15 – The Blob causes more problems… it also screws with sheriffs trying to get laid.

#blobtweet 10:45 – What 80s horror flick would be complete without a small-town sheriff and a thug working at a chop shop?

#blobtweet 12:45 – I’m having flashbacks to THE LONESOME DEATH OF JORDY VERILL.

#blobtweet 14:00 – How small is this town when the pharmacist has to get the condoms for you?

#blobtweet 15:50 – Aw, that meteor’s broken. He’s not going to get his full $200 for it at the college.

#blobtweet 16:40 – I would totally see GARDEN TOOL MASSACRE.

#blobtweet 18:50 – And Meg’s father is… The pharmacist! Wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaaaaah!

#blobtweet 20:00 – That axe shot… Awesome!

#blobtweet 20:45 – “Scott Jesky’s gonna die.” Yet another piece of foreshadowing.

#blobtweet 22:50 – “The doctor’s with another patient right now.” Just one doctor for an emergency room? This is a small town.

#blobtweet 25:00 – That old homeless dude looks like Amy Winehouse after a rough weekend.

#blobtweet 25:40 – I think he might be dead… oh wait.. look behind the door!

#blobtweet 26:45 – This would be an icky way to go.

#blobtweet 27:00 – Lend you a hand?

#blobtweet 28:50 – And here’s Erika Elaniak! Pre or post-Playboy? I really don’t care. She’s hot. (And another ET ref, @FyodorFish)

#blobtweet 29:50 – That’s either the Blob approaching or some very tiny velociraptors.

#blobtweet 31:20 – It’s nice that the Blob is taking its time so we can get a little date rape action going on.

#blobtweet 32:00 – Funny. Erik Elaniak’s boobs didn’t do *that* in Playboy.

#blobtweet 33:00 – Ah, the out-of-tune piano. A staple in 80s horror movie soundtracks.

#blobtweet 35:45 – That deputy must taste delicious!

#blobtweet 37:00 – Man! Kevin Dillon could write a book on badassery.

#blobtweet 38:55 – “All I saw was an old man with a funky hand.” Sounds like the beginning of a country-western song.

#blobtweet 41:25 – A busy night with a dead football player. Guess I’ll check out the waitress and get laid at the local diner.

#blobtweet 43:20 – Awesome! Down the drain! Like moldy fish.

#blobtweet 44:20 – My son Liam: “Too cool for you? Wuss!”

#blobtweet 46:25 – Crushed that phone book like a grape. Two for one!

#blobtweet 48:40 – Those horseshoes on the doors of the diner ain’t doing the diner much good.

#blobtweet 50:15 – Wait… didn’t the receptionist just tell the waitress that the sheriff was on his way to the diner?

#blobtweet 52:25 – Like Meg’s going to admit that she has diarrhea?

#blobtweet 53:20 – This guy’s telling a story that starts, “The dinosaurs ruled the earth…” Who the hell is he?

#blobtweet 54:15 – And another Playboy model… Kirk Cameron’s wife from GROWING PAINS.

#blobtweet 55:45 – I have been in many places with many forms of air conditioning. And I don’t know anyone who has cloth tied to the grates.

#blobtweet 56:50 – No that’s an awesome gory death from Hobbs.

#blobtweet 59:35 – Wow. Kevin Dillon definitely has the party in the back thing going for the mullet.

#blobtweet 1:00:00 – “There is no cause for alarm. This is a precautionary quarantine.” Do the math, sisiter.

#blobtweet 1:01:15 – One of the great remake homages ever committed to film in the horror genre.

#blobtweet 1:02:00 – If this is such a small town, why are so many people at the movies and not in the bars?

#blobtweet 1:03:30 – Did you see that upper body strength on Meg? Pulling the manhole cover with one hand. Or she’s on smack, like in SAW.

#blobtweet 1:05:55 – I think these are all the same scientsts from ET. (You hear that, @FyodorFish?)

#blobtweet 1:07:00 – And the hot socket wrench set saves the day!

#blobtweet 1:07:55 – Will badass, mulleted Kevin Dillon make it over the bridge?????

#blobtweet 1:08:30 – I’m kinda lost at how that busted up bridge managed to stop the helicopter as well as the pick-up truck.

#blobtweet 1:11:00 – What rat? The only time you’re bothered by no rats in the sewer.

#blobtweet 1:11:45 – This movie has some stones… killing the kid and all. Just like SILVER BULLET.

#blobtweet 1:12:35 – “We have orders not to shoot.” “Okay! Shoot!”

#blobtweet 1:14:10 – Here’s a drinking game rule for this movie. Take a drink anytime Kevin “Badass” Dillon crashes his bike. You’d be dead

#blobtweet 1:17;15 – Liam just said, “Boo-yah! Finally an explosion.” The kid has high standards.

#blobtweet 1:18:10 – The deputy just said, “I’ll blow you out of your shoes, boy!” to Kevin Badass Dillon. Is he talking about guns?

#blobtweet 1:19:15 – In the face! Blob in the face!

#blobtweet 1:20:40 – That explosion didn’t kill the Blob. It just gave it heartburn.

#blobtweet 1:23:00 – All this high tech gear, and a cheerleader is saving everyone with a frakking fire extinquisher. Nice.

#blobtweet 1:25:20 – Deputy Sexual Frustration just got killed. Poor Kevin Dillon has no one to lick now.

#blobtweet 1:26:15 – Meg is turning into Ellen Ripley. And before this film, she hadn’t said “shit” before. Believe it or not.

#blobtweet 1:27:25 – All that freon in the atmosphere can’t be good for the environment… or the Blob.

#blobtweet 1:28:15 – Wow… the kid’s friend is horrible killed by the Blob, and he’s just into going out to play in the snow.

#blobtweet 1:29:45 – I knew this preacher was trouble from the beginning. ‘Course, I’ve seen this before.

#blobtweet 1:30:30 – Blob in a jar, awaiting judgement day. And ROLL CREDITS!

@Fozziebare Tell me about it. We so need SON OF THE BLOB. Or at least THE BLOB MEETS GARDEN TOOL MASSACRE. #blobtweet

Follow Kevin on…

The ‘Creepshow’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 02:59:03 +0000

On December 26, Kevin cleansed his Christmas spirit with a live-tweet of the Stephen King/George Romero anthology horror film Creepshow with some of his favorite tweeps. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 00:50 Little boy who just got slapped? Yeah, that’s Joe Hill (Stephen King’s son and horror author in his own right).

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 01:20 – Our friend Tom Adkins makes another appearance, sans mustache.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 01:40 – For those keeping score, that kid is played by Joe King, son of Stephen King.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:47 Tom Atkins (shout-out to one of t/greatest B-movie actors of t/1980s) reminds me of my mom in these scenes.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:50 this dad is a douche. horror isn’t crap!

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 2:12 at least he is older not hitting on women half his age, yet. LOL.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 02:20 – “That’s why god made fathers, babe.” And I’m watching this with my two kids. *That’s* why God made fathers.

carcarr819: I knew that sweetness and obedience was just an act. Little stinker. #creepshowtweet

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 2:49 Ah right, CREEEPSHOW pays homage to EC horror (TALES FROM T/CRYPT, VAULT OF HORROR, ETC.).

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 2:50 kid has a Dracula poster! Smart kid

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 03:05 – These are “jolting” tales of horror. Prepare to be jolted!

kevincarr: @StellarReviews The tag is #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 04:00 – To this day, 27 years after its release, I still contend this is one of the best horror soundtracks ever.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 4:02 Wow, had totally forgotten Ed Harris was in this, w/almost a full head of hair no less.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 04:45 – I hope this scene isn’t like anyone’s Christmas.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 5:05 Why have your shirt half buttoned if there is nothing to see? Just sayin.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 5:15 nice stereotypical rich family

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 5:08 Getting a tongue-in-cheek vibe (minus t/tongue).

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 05:20 – Dottie old aunt Bedilia… what a way to refer to her.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 06:00 – Ed Harris, people. When he had hair… sort of.

carcarr819: 184? I think he’s exaggerating a bit. #creepshowtweet

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 7:59 Old bird’s wearing dead cats as accessories. Talk about decadent rich.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 08:05 – Dem’s some sexy legs, dottie old aunt Bedilia.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 08:55 – Who the frak designed this graveyard? It’s pretty freaking nuts.

StellarReviews: LMAO or even a quarter! #creepshowtweet RT @kevincarr: @StellarReviews Well, they said he was 184, so maybe she was half his age.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 09:30 – I think this Father’s Day, I’m going to bang a cane on a chair and yell at @carcarr819 to make me a cake.

carcarr819: Uh, if my dad called me a birch on FDay,he’d get more than sugar in his frosting. I’m just sayin’. #creepshowtweet

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 8:44 is that a… fox she’s wearing? classy lady!

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 9:30 where’s my cake bitch?

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 11:20 So t/old bird visits her father’s grave to brag about how she offed him? Yeah, I’d do t/same in her shoes.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 11:22 I didn’t know I had it in me since my dad was a bootlegger, killer… ok. And she goes on a monologue in a cemetary

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 11:25 getting drunk at the cemetery huh? how respectful to the dead. well I guess the dead guy was a dbag so maybe its ok

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 12:30 – Oops, I just crapped my pants.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 12:30 Digging t/80s hair. It has so much…bounce. Oh and obligatory unbuttoned shirts/blouses.

carcarr819: @kevincarr just try it buddy! #creepshowtweet

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 12:45 Well you came to visit him at his crave after you killed him, what did you expect? Shoulda brought his cake B.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 13:00 – This dude wants his f-ing cake!

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 13:20 – Don’t let go! Don’t let go!

carcarr819: Dude was really jonesin for cake, I guess. #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 13:30 – Who knew that Ed Harris had such moves?

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 13:30 this damn sequence is surprising out of place.

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet 13:33 Now witness the bad dancing of the 80’s

carcarr819: Ooh! Ed Harris’s got some moves. Chicka bow wow! #creepshowtweet

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet Speaking of TALES FROM THE CRYPT, I watched TALES FROM T/DARKSIDE religiously. Fave episode? One w/Debbie Harry. Creepy.

Regi_S: At least you aren’t blaming the baby this time RT @kevincarr #creepshowtweet 12:30 – Oops, I just crapped my pants.

ThatStevenC: @kevincarr will you be wanting cake beyond the grave as well? #creepshowtweet

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 14:19 Romero really likes colored lights/filters, eh? Oh and why is there always fog in cemeteries? Just wondering.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 14:57 still, to this day in Horro movies, no one has learned it’s bad to walk around in the dark… especially by yourself.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 15:00 – Love the single-color lighting. Totally an homage to ED Horror comics.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 15:43 Finally, t/first tense scene. Took long enough. Ed’s head made a squishy sound.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 15:55 Yea, I’m gonna keep laying there while this heavy cement might come down on my head. Oh and a dead woman is beside me.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 16:35 – That’s it, idiot. Drink the dead woman’s liquor.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 16:58 Not only can white people not jump, they can’t dance either. Sorry, someone had to say it.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 17:05 – This would be sexy if she wasn’t so old. Yeah, I went there.

StellarReviews: @Regi_S Was that dancing? I thought she was having a seizure standing up. #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 17:35 – The only problem with this movie is that Ed Harris wasn’t able to actually scream, “Aaaaaaiiiiiieeeerghhhh!”

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 17:35 Did the dead guy just use the force to move that headstone? sure seemed like it to me.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 18:00 – Don’t let go! Don’t let go! Don’t let go!

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 18:45 – Something tells me if this weren’t a horror movie, Aunt Sylvia would be going down to bone Ed Harris.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 18:55 Richard: gay, desperately unhappy alcoholic? Probably t/most sympathetic character in t/first segment.

Regi_S: Could have been a little of both RT @StellarReviews @Regi_S Was that dancing? I thought she was having a seizure standing up #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 19:33 – Oh, snap!

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 18:40 Well he’s your husband… was he suppose to be his? lol

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 19:25 Now that’s how you break a neck!

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 19:45 apparently dead people have enough strength to pull a woman’s head off.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 20:15 She went from seizing to being “scured” lol

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 20:25 And on t/2nd story, a love story involving a man and a meteor. Spoiler: it doesn’t end well.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 21:00 – I’ll pass on the cake next time I visit. Not into head cheesecake.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 21:40 – Stephen King, ladies & gentlemen in his acting debut. And he is freaking awesome in this part.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 21:03 He got his cake. He just wanted flesh in his cake, that’s all.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 21:10 happy fathers day!

Regi_S: Snapped like a Slim Jim RT @StellarReviews #creepshowtweet 19:25 Now that’s how you break a neck!

FyodorFish: @kevincarr #creepshowtweet Did King ever try his hand at acting again? I don’t recall. Probably for t/best.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 21:50 its Stephen King as a redneck! probably not much of a stretch for him.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 22:01 Did he said he’d be dipped in $#!t if that wasn’t? Wow.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 22:21 Credit where credit’s due. King’s a master at bugging out (his eyes).

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 22:30 touching a meteor probably isn’t the smartest idea. especially if it just came out of the atmosphere so hot

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 23:00 – I want to get a job at the Department of Meteors so I could pay some hick $200 for a meteor.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 23:07 $200 is all you want? Wow. Awesome.

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet 23:50 looks like he got space herpes call in the Ice Pirates for a cure

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 24:00 for some reason I thought stephen king would pee on the meteor to cool it off. since he is of course a redneck

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 24:30 – I didn’t know that broken meteors were such a bummer.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 25:00 So I’m guessing this segment has like zero jump scares or shocks, right?

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 25:05 – Meteor shit!

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 25:28 Glue a meteor back together? Ok.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 25:36 Remember, you put those fingers in your mouth!

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 25:50 – I wonder if the movie’s message is to not drink. Everyone who boozes it up gets killed somehow.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 27:01 Best part of t/segment: Comic book panel w/t word “Later”.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 27:25 – NOTLD fans be damned. This is George A. Romero’s best film.

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet Think they kind of based Edgar in Men in Black off of Stephen Kings character

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 28:11 So this is like t/Martian red vines from WAR OF T/WORLDS, but green?

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 28:30 – Yup, it’s on the old panty licker too, pal.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 29:00 – This segment has a strange similarity to DISTRICT 9.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 29:02 Quick question… Do all rednecks drink beer and talk to themselves? And are okay with sprouting green alien crap?

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 30:20 – He’s a man of quality, sticking with the Popov brand vodka.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 30:29 Cuz VODKA cures everything! Including alien green junk.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 30:50 everything is turning green; to bad he didn’t just have sex with poison ivy.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 31:41 Ah, I see t/problem now. Segment should have been all of 3-4 minutes long, not 20+. End now, please.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 31:45 – Now he looks like a green redneck Santa Claus. I think I saw him on @PeopleofWalmart the other day.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 32:11 Oh, now you wanna take a bath? LOL

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 32:20 – “Oh no! Not there!” That line made my son crack up.

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet Conrad on Weeds would killer to get weed to grow that fast

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 32:20 now he’s starting to look like a green chewbacca

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet 32:20 Not only will playing with it make you go blind but it will also cause uncontrollable weed growth

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 33:30 Hey, shout-out to Castle Rock and…end segment two (thank you, lawd).

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 33:42 Ohhh… Look… Pretty lights reflecting off the water… ? lol

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 34:00 – Forget all the weeds in the house. I’m sure there’s semen stains on all the floors, walls, ceilings & in the closet.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 34:17 Who has better hair? Ted or Leslie? My vote’s for Leslie.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 34:50 – Wouldn’t it be funny if the last line was, “I can’t believe I missed!”

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 35:30 – Did you see that ad for the voodoo doll? Well, just wait…

about 6 hours ago from twitterfeed ThatStevenC: @kevincarr are you insinuating that Stephen King’s character goes around his house masturbating? #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 36:10 – The idea of Sam from CHEERS and the doctor from AIRPLANE! going toe-to-toe is freaking hilarious.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 36:25 too funny guys arguing… Hmmm.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 36:25 It’s Leslie Nielson being evil. one of his few non comedic roles I’ve seen other than Prom Night. kinda weird

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 37:00 Wondering if t/writer/director of THE VANISHING saw this segment? Same 3rd-act plot twist.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 38:00 – Leslie Neilsen is into all the high tech videotape gadgets… and we’re watching this over the internet via wifi.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 39:01 Creepiest part of segment 2? Leslie referring to his wife as “lady fair.” Say what, Leslie?

carcarr819: Oooh, Ted Danson can bench 300 lbs?I’m sure Leslie Nielsen is quaking in his boots! #creepshowtweet

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet I think Leslie Nielsen could take Ted in a fight

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC Eeeehhhhhh, could be…. #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: @carcarr819 Something tells me that Ted Danson was lucky if he could bench 65 pounds on a good day. #creepshowtweet

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 40:28 Gunshot sound effect brought to you by A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 41:10 – “Jump into that hole.” Isn’t that what Leslie Neilsen is mad at Ted Danson for in the first place

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 41:15 does anyone else think its weird seeing Ted Danson with long hair? I’m so use to seeing him in Becker.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 42:30 so why is Leslie doing this to Ted again? I would pick running my ass away & getting shot over being slowly drowned.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 43:00 – Come on… who wouldn’t want to bury Ted Danson up to the neck in the sand?

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 44:00 – Ever since I saw this the first time, I’ve wanted to bury myself to my neck and see if I could escape.

StellarReviews: @FyodorFish Ted’s hair now looks like Leslie’s did back then so I think you are correct #creepshowtweet ;~)

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 44:40 If I was abt to drown I really wouldn’t be that worried abt a freaking crab pinching my face.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 44:45 – Look at that television console. That is freaking awesome. Soooooo high tech!

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC Showing my age here, but he looks totally normal to me. I was used to him on CHEERS. #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 46:35 – But check out Rebecca in the picture… she’s like 30, and Leslie Neilsen is waaay older. She’s totally not worth it

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 47:20 – What’s awesome about this soundtrack… making “The Camptown Ladies” sound eerie.

FyodorFish: My apologies for t/diversion. Back to the #creepshowtweet. 47:37 Leslie’s one cruel bastard, isn’t he?

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 47:47 What did he think was gonna happen? Seriously?

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 48:35 poor Ted. Drowning like that is one of the most unimaginably bad ways to die.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 49:20 – The scariest part of this segment… Leslie Neilsen’s character has to have videos of himself doing it.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 49:45 so Leslie has his own little camera to watch them die & now he’s laughing. he seems to really be getting off on this

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 50:50 Digging that track suit on Leslie. Where can I get one? Not digging t/necklace, though (not my style).

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 51:00 – Awww, the wave came before he said, “And your little dog, too!”

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 52:10 – Correct me if I’m wrong, but is that a Cylon necklace Leslie Neilsen’s wearing? He’s a frakking toaster!

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 53:25 – Does no one in this movie own a freaking color television? It was 1982, after all.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 53:50 Leslie appears to be browsing his porno collection. Good for him.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 55:00 – Second most horrifying thing in this segment… Leslie Neilsen getting ready to take a shower.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 55:25 actually, it seems like Leslie’s house would likely have a porno filmed in it

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 55:50 – My son’s exact quote: “Ewww! An old man showering!”

carcarr819: Even the fish know somethin ain’t right. #creepshowtweet

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet Woody Harrelson could have gone on an early zombie killing spree and saved us from Sam and Diane on Cheers

kevincarr: @carcarr819 Are you saying that something smells fishy? #creepshowtweet

FyodorFish: @eruditechick @scarletscribe My apologies. I definitely want to respond, but I need to get back to t/#creepshowtweet. Another time?

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 56:00 Romero really dug t/canted camera angles and colored filters, eh? Not exactly scary, though.

carcarr819: Even the 8-yr-old knew a naked LNielsen was horrifying. #creepshowtweet

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet 57:06 I wonder if he knows to shoot for the head

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 57:40 now he’s threaenting to shoot the ghost. He must be getting to old to remember he just watched them drown.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 57:55 – I just pooped myself again.

StellarReviews: I thought the same thing lol RT @kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 55:50 – My son’s exact quote: “Ewww! An old man showering!”

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 58:07 Sweet, we finally got to my favorite segment, “The Crate” (or whatever it’s called).

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 58:15 – Love the use of the Dutch camera angle. Very comic book-ish.

kevincarr: @Regi_S Nope… that didn’t work either. #creepshowtweet

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet 58:20ish I guess the other zombie movies lied about headshots taking out zombies

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 58:32 How come when she’s shot she doesn’t move but Ted acts like he was shot?

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 59:15 – And pooped myself again.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:00 Nothing says slatternly like a low-cut, red dress. And yikes, Adrienne’s at her shrillest, isn’t she?

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:00:25 – Ahhhhhh yes… THE CRATE. My favorite story in the movie when I was a kid.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:01:30 – And a nod to Tabitha King’s name.

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet lush

carcarr819: Adrienne Barbeau is so obnoxious I’m definitely rooting for the bad guy in this one-as long as it gets her. #creepshowtweet

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:02 So yeah, I guess there’s still humor in fantasies of murdering your wife in public.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:02:04 There’s always a loud mouth.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:03:25 – Dr. Stanley isn’t very discerning with his co-eds?

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:05:00 – Arctic expedition in 1834. That will not be good.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:05:15 remembers very little of this segment.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:05:45 – Good shot, Henry.

carcarr819: Love Hal Holbrook’s fantasy. Guess you have to cope somehow. #creepshowtweet

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet 1:05:45 Golf clap

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:05:47 hahaha nice.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:06 Wow, another wife-killing fantasy? I’m liking this segment less and less.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:06:15 this chick is pretty hot, why shoot her? just don’t listen to all of her complaining

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:08:20 – When something moves in the 150-year-old crate… be afraid.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:09:24 Why do idiots always insist on putting their hands inside strange object/crates/etc.?

carcarr819: @ThatStevenC That’s Adrienne Barbeau from THE FOG. She was totally hot back in the day. #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: Erm… that last tweet about Adirenne Barbeau’s hotness actually came from me, not my lovely wife. #creepshowtweet

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:10:30 Wow, uncreepiest monster ever. Better left unseen w/o a better makeup artist/budget.

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet 1:11:40 When will they learn when a box is pefectly sealed up there is no need to open it.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:12:13 Wow, so t/guy in glasses is going to check out t/prof’s story? Running away? Much, much smarter.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:12:25 – Sounds like a Mogwai.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:12:45 – Emeralds? What was he looking at?

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:12:50 Why would you ever stick your hand in a box when you hear noises coming from it?

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:13:25 so is this some sort of ape? I’ve always wanted a pet monkey. a monkey butler would be especially awesome.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:13:40 – That is one gruesome death.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:14:00 – Wasn’t this kid supposed to get the guy a hamburger? He must have eaten it the way the snowman ate the janitor.

Regi_S: @kevincarr Clearly this is where the big foot on the back of Jack Burton’s truck in BTLC escaped from. #creepshowtweet .

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:15 First halfway-decent gore (cf. AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON). About time.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:15:45 ape creature might be a Yeti which are pretty violent creatures. That is if you believe in the yeti which u should

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:16:20 – Charlie is thinking, “Wow. Someone is having a really heavy period.”

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:18:14 Why in the F would you go looking for it? Especially after you freaked out with all the blood in the 1st place?

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:18:18 Hal Halbrook and Fritz Weaver both deserved better material. Holbrook was great in FUTUREWORLD.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:18:45 – How could he not see that thing coming?

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:19:05 – @ThatStevenC… he’s clearly not a monkey. Because hitting him with a monkey wrench did no good.

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC Would you want a monkey butler that ate people. Maybe it’s just hungry because it’s been in the crate so long. #creepshowtweet

carcarr819: I wonder if Hal Holbrook is thinking about using his wife as a sacrifice to the beast? #creepshowtweet

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:20:02 So, that weird ape has been hungry for a long time.

kevincarr: @carcarr819 Wow. You think just like Stephen King. #creepshowtweet

StellarReviews: @carcarr819 #creepshowtweet I would be. If he doesn’t, what’s the poing of this segment? =~p

FyodorFish: @StellarReviews #creepshowtweet Yeah, what was he eating all that time? Or was he in hibernation all that time?

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:22:10 Cleaning up all that blood can’t be easy as it looks.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:22:30 these two old dudes talking is not nearly as exciting as the earlier yeti action. I want more yeti!

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1;23:15 Holbrook has some stylish sneaks. Can’t quite figure out t/brand, though.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:24:50 – Billie has some nice knockers on her.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:25:25 Okay, Henry losing it is t/best part. Solid moment of complicity between audience + character.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:26:10 – Dr. Phil would have a field day with Henry & Billie’s relationship.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:25:00 the hot chick who won’t stop complaining is back!

kevincarr: @Regi_S I think @thatstevenc should start bare-knuckle boxing with a yeti sidekick. #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC Just call her Billie. #creepshowtweet

carcarr819: @StellarReviews Hey, I have my moments of insight, however brief and oh so obvious (to everyone else) they might be. #creepshowtweet

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:28:43 “…wearing your balls for earring…” Best line/phrase in CREEPSHOW, bar none.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:28:45 – The “lab-bor-atory”??? Is he British, just without the accent?

carcarr819: The laughing doesn’t help dude. #creepshowtweet

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:29:01 She deserved a far gorier death, though. We did too.

StellarReviews: @carcarr819 I was agreeing with you… I would be completely disappointed if he didn’t LOL #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:30:35 – Why Billie is awesome: She drove there with a white Russian and is still drinking it.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:30:35 His shirt is half unbuttoned too… With no cleavage either.

carcarr819: I just noticed she has a drink still in her hand. LOL! #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:31:10 – Adrienne Barbeau fits nicely into those polyester pants, doesn’t she?

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:31:47 Why go through all this trouble… He should have killed her already… a long time ago lol

ThatStevenC: 1:31:55 #creepshowtweet I think the yeti is full. He should have fed her to him b4 he ate the other people.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:31:55 Those chains don’t look anywhere strong enough to keep t/monster in t/crate. Oh wait…

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:32:30 – The “barnyard exhibit” speech. Awesome.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:32:55 Oh she went the low ball way. Literally.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:33:00 oh she just said he wasn’t good in bed. what do you expect? He’s old and viagra wasn’t even invented yet.get a dildo

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:33:05 – Aaaaaaaand, pooped myself again.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:33:55 – That yeti is just like a Dalek. It’s confined to the basement because it can’t go up stairs. Good thing, huh?

carcarr819: Jeesh, he just failed to bash in her skull, now she had to insult his manhood? She isn’t doing anything to help herself #creepshowtweet

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:34:10 And thus ends t/best (“best” being a relative term) segment. Up next, t/2nd worst.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:35:04 the angry ape rips people apart but is held in with a lock.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:35:35 So is this where t/MONK’s creators got t/idea for a germaphobic character? Probably not.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:35:45 – “I drove out there with the remains of three human beings… well, two human beings and Wilma.” Awesome line.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:37:04 Segment could have been retitled “When Bubble Boys Go Bad”.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:37:35 – Beat my ass in chess? Aw no you didn’t!

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet oh, and don’t forget the WOODEN case it’s in.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:38:45 – Yeti! Yeti! Yeti! Yeti!

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:38:46 Oh, now it can break the wooden box.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet poor yeti. If I was him, I would give it to a zoo. Who wouldn’t want to go see a freaking yeti at the zoo. I know I would

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:39:00 – And here’s “They’re Creeping Up on You.” We might lose @carcarr819, who hates bugs.

StellarReviews: Me too! RT @kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:39:00 – And here’s “They’re Creeping Up on You.” We might lose @carcarr819, who hates bugs.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:39:00 Yay the yeti survived. Its really not cool to try to drown an endangered species.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:41:25 – $3200 a month for a penthouse in 1982? That’s going rate for a nice apartment in NY nowadays.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:41:34 A big one? Are there such things as small cockroaches? UGH I’m so creeped out lol

carcarr819: I don’t get the ppl who threaten to blow the whistle on killers to their face. Hello, he’s a killer, wanna be next? #creepshowtweet

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:41:40 Roach smoothie? Yum. Best part? He doesn’t realize he’s eating them. Oh yeah, they’re high in protein.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:42:20 – This movie just dated itself for telling someone to wear a rubber to avoid herpes, not AIDS.

carcarr819: @kevincarr I can take ‘em one at a time, but swarms I have a problem with. #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:43:20 – For those entymologists out there, those are the American cockroaches he’s dealing with. More to come.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:44:00 – You’re going to ruin your keyboard doing that.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet @ThatStevenC In case you’re wondering what that thing is playing records, it’s a jukebox, not a massive iPod.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:44:09 Yea, because that bug spray is so healthy.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:44:33 Ah, I forgot about t/token black character. He’s grammatically challenged too (of course).

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:45:55 this old guy kinda reminds me of myself. grouchy, seclusive, & a germaphob. although I don’t actually wear gloves

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:46 Okay, I may have a hard time sleeping tonight (overactive imagination and all that). Mega-roaches. Ugh.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:46:10 – That oatmeal looks yummy, doesn’t it? Just you wait.

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet Mr Pratt’s apartment is later the site for Joe’s Apartment

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:47:38 Dude, please tell me he’s not eating bugs though…

carcarr819: Also in case u were wndring @ThatStevenC, that thing with the buttons and blinking lights is a phone with multiple lines. #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:48:10 – Nasty cockroach flakes. Thay’re grrrrreat!

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:49:00 – Mr. White is freaking hilarious in this movie.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:50:00 – If that many bugs are in the penthouse, I wonder how infested the lower floors are.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:50:00 May have to take back my initial eval of this segment. Effectively creepy it was.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet .although I have thought abt wearing gloves bcs I tend 2 wash my hands way 2 much. my hands are always killing me bcs of it

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:50:20 I don’t like the way this is going. =-/

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:50:40 – A blackout with a bug problem. Ack!

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:50:50 Hey, there’s Tom Savini, over-acting (like that’s anything new).

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:51:00 – Aaaaaand we lost @carcarr819.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:51:02 Creepiest part of the whole movie… AHHHHH. Just sayin.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:51:50 Ben-Gay product placement? Apparently so.

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet 1:52:00 Oh and yeah, don’t mess w/a kid’s comic books, a lesson, thankfully, my parents didn’t have to learn.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:52:15 – Are you Upsom Pratt?

carcarr819: @kevincarr nope, just went to get a cookie. Smartass. #creepshowtweet

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:52:50 – My skin is officially crawling now.

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:52:52 I would have alredy ran out of the penthouse and down the stairs. K thanks.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:52:55 I may be a germaphobe, but bugs really don’t bother me. Humans are pretty dirty themselves

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:53:55 – Chaaaaaarge!

Meli_Molina: #creepshowtweet if I were a roach in that dude’s apartment I’d act as a wig for his head, I’m sure he’d appreciate it

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:53:58 Ewwwww.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:54:50 – And in case you didn’t get enough bugs…

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:55:55 – Tom Savini cameo, people!

StellarReviews: @FyodorFish Oh I already feel crap crawling on me. #creepshowtweet

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:56:30 Tom Savini is pretty believable as a trash man. No offense Tom, you just have that look.

kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 1:57:10 – Some Ben-Gay???

Regi_S: @StellarReviews #creepshowtweet just don’t sut the light s off when you go to sleep and they will stay away

CLGongora: Ape – sweetheart. Roaches – squish ‘em. RT @StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet 1:51:02 Creepiest part of the whole movie… AHHHHH. Just sayin.

ThatStevenC: #creepshowtweet 1:57:30 little kid making his own voodo doll. now that is awesome. & Roll Credits

StellarReviews: #creepshowtweet & it’s over. I’m still creeped out by the bugs, yes. What can I say? I hate bugs. I forgot there’s CREEPSHOW 2/3 as well lol

FyodorFish: #creepshowtweet Final thoughts on CREEPSHOW: didn’t really hold up for me, too jokey, too many color filters, not enough scares or tension.

Regi_S: #creepshowtweet Enjoyed watching Creepshow again for the 1st time in probably 10 years. Even if it doesn’t hold up over time.

Regi_S: @kevincarr @carcarr819 @StellarReviews @FyodorFish @StellarReviews Enjoyed the #creepshowtweet but it’s now time for bed. Goodnight

tragedyman: On general principle… RT @kevincarr: #creepshowtweet 43:00 – Come on… who wouldn’t want to bury Ted Danson up to the neck in the sand?

Follow Kevin on…

The ‘Love, Actually’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 13:35:21 +0000

On December 20, Kevin sat down to watch the modern holiday classic Love, Actually (recently released on Blu-ray for the first time) with some of his favorite tweeps. This was the first time he had seen the film. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 01:31 – Hugh Grant: “Love is everywhere.” Especially in a beat-up car with a hooker in an alleyway.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 02:30 – Bill Nighy’s shirt looks like Bill Cosby’s sweater puked it up .

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 03:00 – That was the best stream of profanity I’ve ever heard.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 04:00 – “This is shit.” “Yup. Solid gold shit, meatrso.” Awesome.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet I just absolutely LOVE the beginning of LOVE ACTUALLY.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 05:40 – More than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus. Yup, they stood right next to the walrus.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 5:59 try my lovely nuts. HAHA.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 06:50 – Isn’t that Stacey from “Gavin & Stacey”?

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 7:02 what are best friend’s for? Male whores are bad for an all guy party though… lol

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 07:50 – Having just seen THE MORGANS makes me realize how much Hugh Grant has aged over the last 6 years.

StellarReviews: @kevincarr makes me feel old lol #loveactuallytweet

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 8:49 hahaha. That’s so cute. Let’s cuss at the prime minister after he just told you it would be bad lol

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 09:00 – So far, this movie has the most adorable use of profanity I’ve ever heard.

StellarReviews: @kevincarr I hate when it’s visibly noticeable the age difference, even in just a few years. #loveactuallytweet

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 10:10 a best friend who lies to you… But at least this one is an awesome lie. =~) (Liars are bad!)

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 11:06 How did no one notice all the instruments? Just curious lol

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 11:10 – This present is better than hookers…. but just barely better, cause hookers are awesome.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 11:40 Obliging girl… Oh you have no idea. Well, now you do.

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 12:20 I was actually about to predict that, but the toddler distracted me. Damn!

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 12:50 – “Looks like a dead baby’s finger.” That’s what an old girlfriend told me once.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 13:10 oops. He tries so hard… Poor guy.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 13:35 – This guy’s plan to go to American because they’re easy is so similar to the plot of BRUNO.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 14:35 – Boobies!

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 14:53 Wrong continent… So cute. FYI, chicks love a guy with an accent.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 14:50 A polite stand in porn star. Who would have thought?

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 15:44 So sad. I love Liam though! He’s such an amazing guy.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 17:01 that’s an awkward first line to a guy… “Do you love him?” lol

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 18:00 – Worst DJ in the world? Perhaps not. I’ve seen some pretty horrid wedding DJs in the Midwest here.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet It’s professor SNAPE. (jk).

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 18:12 And there’s Snape!

kevincarr: @StellarReviews By Grapthor’s hammer! #loveactuallytweet

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 19:00 That’s incredibly sad that she knows the exact time she’s been at work to the second & how long she’s been in love.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 19:40 – Sorry. Lots of sex and babies with Laura Linney just doesn’t do it for me.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 20:30 – That’s awesome. Diss a guy right before the interview. I’ve been in that situation.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 20:51 Bill Nighy doesn’t watch his movies normally. I always wonder about certain actors lol

Siblings_at_Law: #loveactuallytweet Hey guys. Where are we in the movie?

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 23:20 Of course you had to ask who you have to screw… The one you want to.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 23:40 – Couldn’t react to the concept of Bill Nighy banging Britney Spears c. 2003. Spilled my drink. ACk!

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 24:15 I love the enactment of sex and casual conversation.

kevincarr: @StellarReviews I personally love the enactment of conversation and casual sex. #loveactuallytweet

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 25:22 Wisconsin is the fab place to go from GB? LOL.

StellarReviews: LMAO RT @kevincarr: @StellarReviews I personally love the enactment of conversation and casual sex. #loveactuallytweet

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 26:00 – “Avoid Kevin if they want their breast left unfondled.” I can’t say that’s the first time I’ve heard that.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 26:25 I love how she’s not subtle at all… lol would that work for me? haha.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 28:00 If you cry all the time you won’t get shagged. Just sayin’. Well, that’s what she said.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 28:40 – It would be a ballsy move to have the kid tell him he’s injecting heroin in his eyeballs.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 29:15 kids start so young these days.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet what happened to cooties? lol

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 30:04 I know most people would find her pathetic, but, hey, what can a girl do? well she could have said more than “nite”

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 31:11 Alone again… Naturally. At least he has a place to go.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 32:10 What a wait to ask a girl if she’s single lol

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 32:20 – Real subtle, Hugh. “you live with your husband or boyfriend?”

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 33:10 I love a guy who trips over his words because he has a crush… Even if he’s the Prime Minister. LOL.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 33:20 – Is that the Picture of Margaret Thatcher in real-time? She looks ancient, even in a painting.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 33:35 At least he’s okay with his stepson possibly being gay!

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 33:42 How forward thinking of dear old dad, to ask she/he?

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 34:50 I love how he has no censor lol. At least he only told the kids how to get drugs and takling about little pricks.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 35:15 – “Don’t buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give them to you for free.” Hilarious!

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 35:55 I love the picture in the background. So festive.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 36:50 You’re “mobile” lol

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 37:14 See, dark corners and dark deeds… That’s okay. He has no clue what she meant.

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 37:23 Subtle much honey?

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 37:25 – Wow. Very subtle. Want to drop a pencil under your desk as well?

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 37:55 – That looks like a French Roseanne Barr.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 38:55 Well at least neither one of them speaks a language they both know.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 39:38 haha when in doubt, just start singing randomly.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 40:00 – U! S! A! U! S! A!

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 40:00 Oh Billy Bob… Do they truly think of our President as a bully and a sex fiend… Nevermind.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 40:35 – Billy Bob Thronton as the President? Never. Waaaaaay too ugly.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 41:48 anything you want… except… anything.

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet @kevincarr Yet he’s supposed to be suave and charming? Soft-spoken, maybe. Charming, not so much!

Anaria: @kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet I think that’s a great movie, all except the fake f*@cking couple, who serves no purpose to the story.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 42:10 Clearly, she wasn’t doing anything… She can’t exactly hit the President lol

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 42:20 – Well, apparently the President doesn’t think Natalie is too fat.

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 42:40 Now he’s just gone and pissed off the PM. Way to go America!

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 43:42 I already said Harry Potter lol

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 44:20 – Billy Bob’s purple tie matches his lipstick.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 44:44 Yea, if my brother was the Prime Minister I might feel a little out done too lol

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 45:10-The stories starting to overlap. I think Paul Haggis took out the Christmas and added racism, then called it CRASH.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 45:25 hahaha The barbies should have been named Dominatrix and Transvestite lol

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 46:31 There’s no coming back from that. What did he expect? haha.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 46:40 – Like Tony Blair never danced alone in his office.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 47:40 – A typewriter???? Is this guy Amish or something?

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 48:00 Yea, just leave it while I stare at you undressing. OH GOD SHE’S IN… lmao

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 48:15 – Lower back tatoo… Portuguese score!

Siblings_at_Law: #loveactuallytweet Isn’t this movie great?

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 48:32 The side dive in the pool was great! At least they are thinking the same thing.

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 49:10 “I really must do copies?” How about “I really must do laptop.”

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 51:00 – The Colin Firth story is very sweet. Tho in real life, she’d be talking about they guy she really likes.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 52:58 I’m trying to lie so stop rummaging through my things before you find it.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 53:15 – And now videotape. These people are Amish.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 54:02 She’s kinda slow, just sayin’. I’m really oblivious to things like that, but, even I would have caught it.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 54:50 and here is our Captain Obvious line for the movie.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 55:10 – It’s a good thing she didn’t find all the photoshopped fake porno photos he made.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 55:35 usually when a guy doesn’t like you, it mean he does. Well, usually. Unless he truly hates you lol

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 56:40 One of my favorite songs! I love the freak out in front of other people.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 57:00 – You know what this movie needs… a side plot of sparkly vampires. That’s what true love is all about.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 57:46 what’s with her weight? lol. Yea, kick her away from you when you don’t even know the truth. Typical!

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 57:55 – Does anyone else who is not in this movie refuse to believe that Natalie is chubby?

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 59:20 Awww he’s so young to be so heart broken. But, of course they’d play TITANIC lol

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 59:20 – Not to knock TITANIC, but this isn’t the movie I’d show my sons when they are heartbroken.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:00:25 You kicked her out, what did you expect? lol

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:02:10 – Wait… is he just dropping her off in the ghetto??? Is she homeless or something?

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 1:02:30 If he’s driving her home, he’s dropping her off and then making her walk the rest of the way? WTF ?

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:02:44 The kiss didn’t look that good… Oh well. ;~)

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:02:50 – Nice Robert Palmer reference.]

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:04:00 – I will never let my kids play drums. Too small of a house for that.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:04:20 Yea, that’s dedication. That’s when you know you love a girl lol

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:05:22 You walked right into an affair. Lemme dance with you when I haven’t even danced with my wife.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:05:30 – I think this girl could stick her tongue in his nostril, and he still wouldn’t get that she’s coming on to him.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:07;15 – Song change from fast to slow. Been in that awkward position.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:08:00 well at least after all this time she finally gets a dance. And he started it.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:09:19 10 seconds is quick! She went from never speaking to inviting him to her room. lol

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:10:20 Just get my clothes off already!

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1;10:20 – Oh my god! She’s having sex with Xerxes!

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet That’s what happens when you are sexually frustrated I suppose lol

Siblings_at_Law: #loveactuallytweet I am predicting a happy ending.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:11:20 No, of course I’m not busy while I am on top of a guy.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:11:25 – Of all the ladies in this movie, Laura Linney was the last i wanted to see naked.

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 1:11:34 “No, I’m not busy” OUCH!

Siblings_at_Law: #loveactuallytweet Where is Xerxes’ make-up?

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 1:13:05 Okay, turn the damn phone off already!

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:13:30 Of course, I’m still not busy and I’ll be right there while the man I’ve been in love with is finally in my room.

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 1:16:30 And why doesn’t he just tell her to keep it in her pants? He is the boss after all.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:17:15 So wrong.

Siblings_at_Law: #loveactuallytweet I get it – Billy Bob Thornton is George W. Bush.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:18:10 – Yes! Rowan Atkinson!

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 1:18:09 Mr. Bean!!

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:18:21 Why would I give my wife, the woman who birthed my children a necklace? Nope, definitely the hot assistant.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:18:24 Although, this would be a great way to get caught or have the wife take the gift.. ;~)

Siblings_at_Law: #loveactuallytweet I bet Tiger Woods got some ideas from this movie.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:21:10 – I was totally sucked into the gift-wrapping scene. That was awesome.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:21:20 I love how he’s nervous while they are naked and have their faces in each other’s fun spots.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1;21:30 – Do they have lighting stand-ins for porn stars for real? I know they have fluffers, but stand-ins?

StellarReviews: @kevincarr #loveactuallytweet one of me favorite scenes! LOL

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:22:00 – “Ringo rules”??? I’m not a Beatles man, but even I know that’s crazy talk.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:23:15 – She is so getting a scarf for Christmas.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:23:30 – “On the shag highway, heading west”??? I live in the shag highway, and it’s not a shag highway.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:23:35 Shag highway to Wisconsin? LOL.

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 1:23:53 And he flies into Milwaukee for his big scam of debauchery? Didn’t do much research, did he?

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:24:35 – There’s January Jones, @Siblings_at_Law.

Siblings_at_Law: #loveactuallytweet Elisha Cuthbert!

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:25:15 – This Brit better be careful, hittingn on Jack Bauer’s daughter.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:25:30 Chicks totally fall for the accent. BUT, there are never only 3 women, who happen to be hot, in the bar.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:25:55 – Methinks this kid’s going to lose a kidney in this whole thing.

kevincarr: @StellarReviews And in Milwaukee, no less. #loveactuallytweet

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 1:27:15 I stand corrected.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:27:20 He said go down low. LOL

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:27:40 – Where are the paper hats? Don’t the British always wear paper hats at Christmas?

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:28:13 What a crush… =~(

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:28:30 – I’m a underpaid movie critic, and even I wouldn’t give @carcarr819 a crummy CD for Christmas.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:33:26 I love how their first kiss is a bit nervous, but they can be fully naked together and it’s okay. LOL

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:34:17 I wish I could do that with my family sometimes LOL.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:34:40 – I hate uncle Jamie, too. (Just kidding. They should say it in Portuguese to make sure he hears it)

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:35:14 Awww that’s sad.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:37:09 THIS is one of my favorite parts of the film. If some guy did that for me… Well, not in this case, but still…

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:37:35 – Wouldn’t it be awesome if her husband came down saying, “Those carolers sound amazing!”

Siblings_at_Law: #loveactuallytweet Laura Linney is the worst thing about this movie, huh?

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:38:10 – Hate to break it to you, man, but KKnightly already looks like that now.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:39:15 – It looks like someone with a smoker’s hack sneezed on that coat.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:40:35 the love of my life… in a totally non-gay way. How sweet.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:41:25 – “Come on. Let’s get pissed and watch porn.” That’s my plans for Christmas Eve.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:42:15 That’s what you get for not even talking to her about it. Boo. my only beef with this part is that she works…

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:42:50 – The soundtrack to this movie is pretty awesome. A great eclectic mix.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet there so would it really be that hard to an address? But, still, it’s cute anyway he went searching. I’m such a woman

StellarReviews: @carcarr819 haha that’s what I’m saying!!! #loveactuallytweet

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:44:00 – If Obama came to our house asking is Natalie lived here, I wonder if my kids would…

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet …A) recognize him, or B) ask him to sing Christmas carols.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:45:09 for those who say I have a dirty mouth… I always point them to her. ;~)

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:46:14 The Prime Minister is there and your mother is convincing him you don’t need to go LOL.

kevincarr: @StellarReviews Try cursing in a British accent next time. #loveactuallytweet

StellarReviews: @kevincarr haha maybe I will try that and see what they say than. ;~) #loveactuallytweet

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:47:18 Proves that when people say “around the corner” you think at least 5 miles.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:48:22 How did you two meet? Well, you see, we are stand ins for pornstars… Yea, that doesn’t come out right.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:48:45 That’s what you get for being way too nice. Of course, that’s a good quality though in some cases

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:50:45 – That is the creepiest freaking baby Jesus I have ever seen in my entire life.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:51;05 – Is this the Sid & Marty Krofft version of the Christmas story?

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 1:51:10 So, who wrote this Christmas play, the kids? Sea creatures in the play? Maybe it’s a british thing?

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:52:16 At least he taught himself how to play the drums so if it doesn’t work he can become an alcoholic band memeber

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:52:30 – So you think this girl is who Lil’ Ringo is hot for?

StellarReviews: @carcarr819 I always wondered the same thing LOL #loveactuallytweet

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:54:02 HA HA HA. At least he didn’t pay thousands of dollars to hide it and end up getting caught anyway.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:54:20 – Let’s face it… This is not the most compromising position that Hugh Grant has been caught in.

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 1:55:05 I’ll take you to find my daughter, got to get rid of one of them.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:55:15 BUSTED. Still sad though. =*(

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 1:57:40 And this is suppose to prove that there is love for everyone even if you had it once…

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 1:58:45 – Wrong house. Awesome.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 20:00:20 – It’s a good thing this kid isn’t a terrorist.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 2:00:27 I love the breaking out and running. lol

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 2:01:15 – Homage to THE GRADUATE.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 2:01:50 – That’s way too much Bill Nighy for anyone to experience at any point in his or her life.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 2:02:45 – And that was the third grade equivalent of getting some strange in the airport.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 2:03:39 For some reason, this was oen of my favorite story lines lol. I love his bad translations.

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 2:05:27 Awww! She learned English for him.

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 2:06:00 – Again, got sucked into the bad Portuguese translation scene. This is a sweet moment.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 2:06:52 Love the song. Love the connection. LOVE the movie. ;~)

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 2:07:10 – I have to be honest, I do forget who knows who in this story.

Siblings_at_Law: #loveactuallytweet Colin Firth is the man. A single man, actually.

StellarReviews: #loveactuallytweet 2:08:20 There are cowgirls in Wisconsin? hehe jk

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 2:08:20 – Seriously, I need to learn a British accent and go to that bar in Wisconsin.

Siblings_at_Law: #loveactuallytweet Everyone in England knows everyone else, Kevin.

carcarr819: #loveactuallytweet 2:08:44 Denise Richards? Isn’t she a little old for this role?

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 2:09:00 – This has got to be the most improbable curtain call, but it’s pretty damn awesome.

StellarReviews: 2:09:55 #loveactuallytweet Final Thoughts = Still love LOVE ACTUALLY and one of my favorite Christmas movies. =)

kevincarr: #loveactuallytweet 2:10:00 – And ROLL CREDITS!

Siblings_at_Law: #loveactuallytweet Supposedly this is Tony Blair’s favorite movie.

kevincarr: Final thoughts on LOVE ACTUALLY… Took a bit to get into, but was totally sold by the end. Very adorable. #loveactuallytweet

Siblings_at_Law: #loveactuallytweet This movie had a great cast. England sure does have its share of great actors.

kevincarr: @Cavatica My pleasure. Thanks for reading and thanks to @carcarr819 @StellarReviews and @Siblings_at_Law for joining in. #loveactuallytweet

kevincarr: @Siblings_at_Law It’s a great ensemble. #loveactuallytweet

Follow Kevin on…

The ‘A Christmas Story’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 13:32:00 +0000

On December 19, Kevin was joined by some of his favorite tweeps to live-tweet the brilliant holiday classic, A Christmas Story. (And several of the tweeps involved hadn’t seen the film yet, believe it or not.) Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet Yay it’s starting. =)

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 01:10 – Cleveland! Woo hoo!

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 1:40 – This narrator is annoying.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 01:55 – Higbees! That’s a blast from the past for Ohio people. Now that chain is owned by Dillards.

flurryheaven: Joining in on this one. I actually own this movie. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 2:39 that reminds me of THE MANNEQUIN lol

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 02:45 – That’s a lotta Santas.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 03:35 – Nothing says Christmas like toy war machiens.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 04:15 – Directed by Bob Clark, the guy who brought us PORKY’S and BLACK CHRISTMAS.

Meli_Molina: #xmasstorytweet A Christmas Story is the closest thing I get to snow every Christmastime

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 05:15 – Separate beds for the parents. That’s hilarious. So 1950s.

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet Hello everyone!

flurryheaven: God I had glasses like that. I’much more intrested in Raggdy Anne and Andy than the bebe gun. Such a girl. #xmasstorytweet

nightmarejack93: @kevincarr That’s my favorite Christmas movie! #xmasstorytweet

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet It just seems like separate beds would be more expensive. You’ve got to buy things in bulk.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 06:20 – I will admit that I didn’t know the name of the Lone Ranger’s nephew’s horse.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet What year is this? $50K is still kind of a lot now lol.

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 6:44 – This narration is honestly horrible. Its completely unnecessary.

kevincarr: @AronDej It’s totally the point of the movie. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 7:30 I love the product placement lol

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 08:00 – You’ll shoot your eye out!

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet Most narration to me in movies is pretty bad. It is lazy filmmaking.

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet I’m with @arondej, that narrator is making me wish I had a Red Rider BB Gun to shoot HIS eye out!

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 8:30 Starving people in China? That’s why I have a complex of not eating all of my food.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 09:10 – Maurauders are a constant danger in Cleveland. I’ve seen them.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 9:12 Oh, I love the glitter cowboy…

flurryheaven: My fantasies were of runnung away with the crooks then saving my family. Fend for yourselves. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 11:02 Product placement again, cute. Love the plain graphics lol

Siblings_at_Law: @StellarReviews @kevincarr @AronDej #xmasstorytweet Wow, my live-tweeting this movie just cost me a follower.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 12:20 Deep sea diving? WOAH!

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 12:30 – I had a snow suit like that when I was a kid.

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet 12:46. If he has to get this bundled up to go to school, who has to get him ready to come home? The teacher?

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 13:00 – “My kid brother looked like a tick about to pop.” Awesome.

flurryheaven: 13:01 God, I had that snow suit and my mother did the samething to me. No wonder I got problems. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 13:40 why is no one else as bundled? LOL

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet One kid is a whiny brat, one has an annoying lisp. Why does @kevincarr like this movie so much?

flurryheaven: 14:18 These kids are so dumb. Ralph’s brother is defintily got problems. #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 14:20 – Ahhhh… the great tongue-on-a-flagpole debate.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 15:45 – Bubba teeth were the 1950s equivalent of DS game devices.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 16:02 What’s Ace of test pilots? lol Or was that another product placement?

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 16:50 – Why is there a black child? Isn’t this the 40s? Schools were still segregated then.

StellarReviews: @kevincarr wait, i got the tongue thing at 16:40? #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 17:00 – I think that daring kid forgot to give his bubba teeth to the teacher.

flurryheaven: 17:25 I got my tounge stuck aswell when I was a kid, must confess. Of course I didn’t scream like a little bitch. #xmasstorytweet

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 17:42 My older cousin told me the tongue thing would be fun. I don’t talk to this cousin anymore.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 18:00 – “The bell rang.” That’s an awesome excuse. I with a bell rang to get me out of awkward situations in real life.

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 18:10 – apparently children in the 40s were too stupid to help somebody.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 18:10 wow geez boys scream like girls.

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet 18:34 She is calmly asking where a missing child is? Nowadays we’d be freaking out if we noticed a kid didn’t come back in

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 18:45 Maybe Chris Hanson from Dateline can help find Flick.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 19:00 The firetruck for a tongue? lol

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 19:00 – Flailing arms, tongue stuck to the flagpole. One of the best shots of the movie.

flurryheaven: I also didn’t need the fire department to get me out, just boiling water. Never did it again, well. #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 20:00 – And that, my friends, is why they make playground equipment out of plastic nowadays.

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 20:20 Wow, hot for teacher!

kevincarr: @Siblings_at_Law Are we watching the same movie??? #xmasstorytweet

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 21:25 I used to have those Ralphie glasses when I was little.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 22:14 why is the idiot/mean kid alwasy red headed, freckled and has weird laughs?

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 22:25 – Oh my god! It’s a ginger kid!

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet 22:30 Scut Farkus: future sociopath ladies and gentlemen.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 23:20 2 against 4? The little mean one should only count as half really lol

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 24:20 Um, what was that suppose to be? LOL

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 25:45 – Dog ear in the door. PETA would be p.o.’d.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 26:24 That’s the second time we’ve been guilt tripped into eating.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 26:30 – If Randy doesn’t eat, why do they give him so much freaking food on his plate. He’s like six years old.

flurryheaven: 26:45 we did this to my mother all the time, never let her eat. My sister use to do the same thing with her mashed tatters. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 27:22 How the piggy’s eat? Wow.

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 27:48 – This is just disturbing.

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet I don’t know about you @stellarreviews, but my Mommy-senses cringe with every move/sound those kids make.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 28:10 – “Mommy’s little piggy.” A hilarious scene, but sexually confusing to me, even now.

flurryheaven: 28:38 Here it comes! #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 29:30 – :Fra-gi-lay. that must be Italian.” One of the best lines of the movie.

flurryheaven: 30:10 My uncle had the same lamp, it was hidden in a corner and it was always kinda perverted creepy. #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 30:25 – In case you didn’t know, you can visit this house in Cleveland and buy a leg lamp for yourself. True.

flurryheaven: 30:30 Of course we never felt it up. #xmasstorytweet

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet 30:35 What the hell kind of contest did this guy enter where THIS is the prize?

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 30:50 Wasn’t that inappropriate? With children back then? lol

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 31:15 – This man has terrible taste in furniture.

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet 31:20 I can’t tell if the mom is happy about this lamp or if she thinks her hubby has gone off the deep end.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 31:25 HAHA It blows in his face, catches on fire, and he continues to to
uch it… REALLY? This is not for children.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 31:55 Unparalleled glory?! What kind of movie is this?

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet I’m wondering if @carcarr819 will allow me to get a lamp like that to put where the X-mas tree is after the holidays.

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 32:00 -This mom is wayy to fucking lax.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 32:15 – “It reminds me of the Fourth of July.” Crap! I need to party with this guy on the 4th of July!

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet Back to piggy-boy…why is a kid who is old enough to go to school still wearing a bib when he eats?

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 33:15 – A major award. I want to know what contest he entered.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet I love the kid rubbing the leg… WOW. It can be seen “UP AND DOWN” LMAO.

flurryheaven: 33:15 These men must not get much tail if a leg lamp turns them on. Then again. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 33:35 Did he just said Electric SEX gleaming in the window?!!

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 33:40 – “the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.” That’s an awesome line. Love it!

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet 34:18 Think they might want to take another route home from school one of these days?

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 34:20 Mrs. Shields in her ecstasy? I’m so lost.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 34:40 – Little known fact… Ralphie grew up, moved to L.A. and became a doctor named J.D. at Sacred Heart.

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 35:10- I was under the impression that this movie was funny. So far these fantasy sequences are the only truly funny things.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 36:30 – With all of Ralphie’s fantasies, I’d be very curious as to what A CHRISTMAS STORY II: HIGH SCHOOL would be like.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 38:50 Does everyone have to scream? I’d be scared.

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 39:00 – Pretty annoying, honestly.

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 40:25 – That’s what she said!

flurryheaven: 40:45 Memories of me cursing then beaten have come flooding back to me. I was raised back when you could beat kids #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 40:49 Oh wow. They said the F word. Wow.

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 41:00 – OMG HE CURSED! Its the end of the world!

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 41:00 – “The word. The queen mother of dirty words.” He said frak!

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 41:50 – This scene reminds me of when I heard my kid say “Dammit” once.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 42:04 Geez what a scream! WOW. Um, yea. You’d thought he was hit by a car.

flurryheaven: 42:05 My mother was putting soap in my mouth well into my twenties. I never did learn not to curse. #xmasstorytweet

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 42:45 – I was never punished this much for a word. BECAUSE ITS A WORD.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 43:00 – He should have blamed hearing the word on Scut Farkle. That would have been epic.

ThomasSpurlin: #xmasstorytweet Lifeboy, on the other hand … Wonder how many people ran out and tried to find it after the movie came out.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 43:32 What’s with all this screaming?! And what did she exect anyway?

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 43:45 – Mrs. Schwarz reminds me of Mrs. Wallowitz from THE BIG BANG THEORY.

kevincarr: @ThomasSpurlin This scene always makes me want to try and sample soaps. Is Palmolive the best? #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 44:25 WOW, did she seriously do that?

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 45:30 – Do they issue a tin cup and sunglasses at the hospital when they find out you’ve gone blind.

ThomasSpurlin: @kevincarr Couldn’t say. My mama didn’t care bout my potty mouth. #xmasstorytweet

flurryheaven: 46:33 Ah, the I must give my teacher a gift time of year. #xmasstorytweet

ThomasSpurlin: @kevincarr Yes, and a special cane to whack things around with. Not for the blindness, but for the aggravation. #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 47:00 – I spotted the pineapple! Can I enter the #psych sweepstakes now?

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 49:31 at least he’s left handed like me.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 49:55 Did he just say “BS”?

flurryheaven: 50:50 I recall those crummy comercial decoder rings. I to was dissapointed. These kid is so dramatic, just like I was. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 51:25 What the F was that???

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 51:50 – The fake swearing from the dad in this movie cracks me up every time. “You mundane noodle!”

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 52:20 – Ok, that’s pretty funny.

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet 52:30 At least she didn’t try to pin it on one of the kids (breaking the lamp that is)

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 52:40 HAHAHA. Jealous? Really? That’s scary.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 52:50 – That lamp really was fra-gee-lay…

flurryheaven: 52:13 The sexy leg lamp has bitten the dust. I cry murder! Murder I tell ya. #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 53:30 – “Not a finger!” I’m going to use that to win my next argument with @carcarr819

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 53:57 What the H is going on? What is with this plastic leg? I don’t get the obsession. Was this a new thing back then? LOL.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 54:40 – He’s getting his dad a rose that squirts? A hooker named rose who is into female ejaculation. Yeah, I went there.

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet 55:20 What kind of turd would go to the bullies when he could just as easily outrun them?

flurryheaven: 55:50 C+ and you’ll shoot your eye out. Poor Ralph, the world is against you. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 56:17 alrighty then. Red rider and his peacemaker… LMAO.

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 56:30 – Shut up you ungrateful little twerp.

flurryheaven: 57:41 Ass kicking time! #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 57:50 – Go Ralphie! Beat the Scut out of that Farkle!

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 58:00 – You’ll shoot your eye out!

kevincarr: @StellarReviews It’s a major award. A *major* award. And it’s fra-gee-lay. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 58:57 he just has his mouth washed out with soap so now he’s wailing away and cussing. Awesome.

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 59:20 – I’m convinced this mom is bipolar.

ThomasSpurlin: I’m still baffled at how psychedelic those two look in costume, and STILL don’t believe the witch is the teacher. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: @kevincarr Major alright… That was a big hole. #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:01:10 – “Daddy’s gonna kill Ralphie.” It’s not going to happen. Maim, maybe. But kill, they have laws against that, son.

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet 1:01:40 Yes, lil Piggy needs milk to counteract all the poisons he ingested while hiding under the sink with all t/chemicals

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:03:20 – This mom’s entire menu consists of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and red cabbage.

ThomasSpurlin: @kevincarr No, no, it’s “double beet loaf”. #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:04:45 – What? The cast of WIZARD OF OZ in an epic battle with the Disney icons!

kevincarr: @ThomasSpurlin Better watch your tongue. You’ll be sucking on a Lifebuoy bar soon. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 1:06:55 Can’t cut to see Santa! I’ve seen a line that long! How heartbreaking for some kids.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:06:50 – This big Santa line makes me thank the good lord for digital photography and cheap Santas.

flurryheaven: 1:07:10 Ralphy is in line with a future serial killer. Creepy kid. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 1:07:39 Is this Christmas or Halloween? lol and least this Santa isn’t cussing like Santa last night.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:08:00 – Apparently Higbee’s employed 30-year-old, 6-foot-tall elves in the 1940s.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 1:08:55 Where’s the Christmas cheer you mean elves?

flurryheaven: 1:08:55 Santa Clause abuse! Awesome. #xmasstorytweet

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet Some friends just dropped by and interrupted my live-tweeting. But I am back.

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet 1:09:12 Santa’s helpers manhandling the kids? No wonder they’re screaming their heads off.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:09:20 – Bad Santa ain’t got nothing on this guy.

ThomasSpurlin: @StellarReviews http://www.sketchysantas.com/ #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 1:10:00 That was the creepiest way any Santa could ask a child what he wants for Christmas. At least to me.

flurryheaven: 1:10:46 Kicked in the face by Santa. Hot damn. #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:10:50 – You’ll shoot your eye out, kid. Merry Christmas. ho ho ho!

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:11:15 – They’re really pushing the WIZARD OF OZ characters, aren’t they?

kevincarr: @StellarReviews Did you see the wino Santa my kids got pictures with last week? #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: @ThomasSpurlin @ThomasSpurlin HAHAHA OMG!!! That’s awful #xmasstorytweet

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet 1:12:25 That guy has come close to so many fires this season, it’s amazing they’ve all lived this long.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 1:12:30 WOW it caught on fire, AGAIN, and he’s still touching it and leaving it plugged in. Sooo not safe lol

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:12:30 I wonder if those Christmas lights are environmentally friendly.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:14:30 – Man, I remember what it was like to wake up to a white Christmas like that.

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:14:30 They didn’t have global warming back then it seems.

ThomasSpurlin: @kevincarr I never had that, growing up in Georgia. #xmasstorytweet

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:16:15 Doesn’t Aunt Clara always give socks?

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:16:30 – Socks for Christmas? WTF?

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 1:17:13 LMAO How can she say that’s sweet? and make him try it on??? Mother’s can be so cruel.

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:17:15 Aunt Clara traditionally mixes up Christmas with Easter.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:17:30 – Would you wear the bunny suit? I wouldn’t.

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:18:15 The dad probably thought the mom meant something else when she said she was “playing Santa.”

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 1:18:45 This is sooo Halloween lol

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 1:19:00 – My mom would murder somebody if they gave that to me.

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:19:30 I bet they aren’t going to recycle any of that wrapping paper.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:19:50 – Ahhhhh, the 1940s. When you could drink wine with your kids at 9 in the morning.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 1:20:00 So casual with the alcohol and sex comments in this movie. lol

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:20:25 Is it…could it be…an XBox?

flurryheaven: 1:21:00 He finally got it. #xmasstorytweet

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:21:03 “Darn…it’s just a damn Red Ryder.”

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:21:35 – I got my son a bb gun for x-mas a couple years ago. And he shot his eye out. Boy, did I feel stupid.

ThomasSpurlin: @kevincarr Obviously, he didn’t have the Wicked Witch of the West as his teacher. Nice choice in schooling, DAD. #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:22:30 – And the dad gets food poisoning for eating off the turkey when it’s only half-baked.

flurryheaven: 1:22:43 Oh shit, he shot his eye out. #xmasstorytweet

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:23:31 Those glasses weren’t helping him with the ladies anyway.

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 1:23:39 Oops. Broke his glasses. How sad.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:23:55 – A scene from many an episode of SCOOBY DOO. “My glasses! I can’t find my glasses!”

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 1:24:33 Ugh what a fake cry. Boo. lol

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:24:42 The old icicle in the tailpipe excuse. Heard that one a thousand times.

flurryheaven: 1:26:11 Oh crap, the turkey went to the dogs. #xmasstorytweet

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:26:31 Little known fact…those dogs are all CGI.

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:27:01 Happily they were spared turkey casserole as well.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:27:20 – I admit it… I would break down in tears if dogs ate my Christmas turkey.

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 1:27:30 – Ok. THIS is funny.

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:27:59 I bet those Chinese actors get so much grief from their families for this movie.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:28:10 – The Chinese waiters singing “Deck the Halls” is sooooo racist. But also Hi-larious!

ThomasSpurlin: @kevincarr “We are going out … TO EAT”. Reminds me of the Christmas when I went to a Chinese buffet alone because of work. #xmasstorytweet

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:28:57 What is so funny? The head is the best part.

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:29:30 The lights go off…it’s business time.

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet 1:30:00 – That brought a tear to my eye. I’m not joking. THAT is Christmas.

flurryheaven: 1:30:26 Nothing like sleeping with a bb gun to make you feel all manly. #xmasstorytweet

StellarReviews: #xmasstorytweet 1:30:35 Sleeping with the BB gun is probably not the safest idea… Especially when pointed at your brother. Just sayin’.

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:30:35 You can pry that Red Ryder from his cold dead hands.

kevincarr: #xmasstorytweet 1:31:00 – And ROLL CREDITS!

AronDej: #xmasstorytweet A CHRISTMAS STORY – Final thoughts? Placed too highly because of nostalgia, but it has some genuinely great moments.

flurryheaven: Awesome movie, loved it as a kid, love it as an adult. This was alot fun. #xmasstorytweet

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:31:46 Karen Hazzard did a great job with the Toronto casting.

carcarr819: #xmasstorytweet Don’t see the big draw . May be t/ mom & teacher in me, but t/kids & adults are too stupid to deal with. Can’t get past it.

Siblings_at_Law: #xmasstorytweet 1:32:46 James Cameron has announced his plan to remake this movie with blue CGI aliens.

ThomasSpurlin: Ah, A Christmas Story. The most infinitely rewatchable Christmas movie in creation. Love it. #xmasstorytweet

kevincarr: Thanks @StellarReviews @carcarr819 @Siblings_at_Law @AronDej @ThomasSpurlin @flurryheaven for joining in on the #xmasstorytweet. Tomorrow: LOVE ACTUALLY.

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Kevin Live-Tweets ‘The Grinch’ (2002)

Kevin Carr — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 13:27:53 +0000

On December 19, Kevin watched Ron Howard’s big-screen adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas, released on Blu-ray for this holiday season. He watched it with his kids, but live-tweeted it to maintain his sanity. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

Now it’s time to watch Ron Howard’s THE GRINCH with the kids… and to live-tweet for sanity’s sake.

Kudos to Unviersal for making THE GRINCH a BD/DVD combo pack, which adds value. (WB is now making this a standard practice, btw.)

Pressing PLAY on THE GRINCH.

GRINCH 01:30 – Hannibal Lecter is narrating the movie.

GRINCH 02:20 – Wow. Already the movie is ear-bleeding obnoxious, and Jim Carrey hasn’t even shown up yet.

GRINCH 02:40 – There’s the token black Who.

GRINCH 03:40 – In the original story, the Whos were all about the spirit of X-mas….

…In this movie, they’re all about buying crap like the the redneck Wal-Mart on black Friday.

GRINCH 06:30 – The Grinch is now dressed like a Jedi Donnie Darko rabbit.

GRINCH 09:20 – Cindy Lou Who already has waaaaaay too much screen time.

GRINCH 11:00 – Are these the same Whos from HORTON HEARS A WHO?

GRINCH 13:50 – Don’t get your hopes up, Cindy Lou… The Grinch saved you not because he’s nice, but becasue he’s on parole.

GRINCH 14:55 – Oh God help us all… Christine Baranski in a Santa Baby short shirt. (I just threw up in my mouth)

GRINCH 16:00 – The Grinch’s reign of terror includes some prank phone calls? WTF?

GRINCH 17:50 – Is the Grinch an analogy for homeless people? i think so.

GRINCH 19:20 – The anti-commercial message in this film is a tad lost in the massive $120+M budget and the $345M global box office.

GRINCH 21:10 – The Grinch’s heart has shrunk a size and a half. He’s a homeless man with congenital heart failure. And he’s shunned.

GRINCH 25:00 – The Grinch makes one uuuuuuuugly baby. Even uglier than the Olsen Twins on FULL HOUSE.

GRINCH 25:45 – Holy guacamole! The Whos are having a key party. Well, I guess it *was* the 60s. Tho kinda odd for a kids movie.

GRINCH 27:15 – Martha May Who had a thing for the Grinch in school. She’s into the avacado love.

GRINCH 30:35 – The Whos should consider themselves lucky that the Grinch went into seclusion rather than becoming a serial killer.

GRINCH 32:50 – Why does the Grinch look pregnant?

GRINCH 34:00 – So in this version, the Whos are just a bunch of a-holes.

GRINCH 40:20 – I’m convinced that Jim Carrey thought he was doing Hamlet-worthy acting in THE GRINCH. Also convinced that no one else did.

GRINCH 43:50 – It’s all fun and games until Cindy Lou Who breaks her neck and the Grinch is tried for manslaughter.

GRINCH 47:00 – My favorite character in this movie… Max the dog, by a mile.

GRINCH 47:55 – Dear God in heaven… another Christine Baranski boob shot. Is there no mercy?

GRINCH 49:00 – These old surrogate mothers for the Grinch nursed him? After the key party? This movie is so filled with horrid sexual ideas.

GRINCH 50:00 – The “Who Pudding Cook Off”… After the key party, I don’t want to know what’s in teh Who Pudding.

GRINCH 52:45 – The Christmas shave??? So the Mayor is envious of the Grinch’s green pubescent nature?

GRINCH 54:10 – Was the Grinch scratching the car to get everyone’s attention an homage to Quint from JAWS???

GRINCH 54:40 – The Grinch is revealing the Whos’ garbage secrets. If he starts talking about their used condoms and porno mags, I’m leaving.

GRINCH 56:30 – So the Grinch is also an arsonist. This movie could get really ugly were it any good.

GRINCH 58:10 – The Michael Bay explosion? Was that necessary? Is this movie necessary?

GRINCH 1:00:00 – We are an hour in, and there’s no stealing Christmas yet. Get with the program!

GRINCH 1;02:45 – The Grinch theme song… I liked it better when Tony the Tiger sang it.

GRINCH 1:07:45 – Wait… If he’s got a massive gas-powered sleigh, why does the Grinch need a reindeer-dog?

GRINCH 1;08:20 – “I’m going to throw up. And then I’m going to die.” That’s not just a movie quote. It’s a review of the film.

GRINCH 1:13:15 – This Cindy Lou Who scene made more sense in the original animated film without the hour of set-up.

GRINCH 1:15:35 – What’s amazing about Christine Baranski in this movie is that she didn’t need any make-up to look like a Who.

GRINCH 1:17:50 – “He rode with his load to the tip top to dump it.” Yeah, this movie dumps a load all right.

GRINCH 1:21:25 – There’s still like 25 minutes left in this movie. Isn’t this the end, tho?

GRINCH 1:25:00 – From a medical standpoint, having your heart enlarge like that, especially that quickly, would kill you.

GRINCH 1:27:00 – The Grinch learning the true meaning of Christmas is putting me to sleep. If only the Grinch were really bruning insdie.

GRINCH 1:28:55 – Wait! What the hell is Cindy Lou Who doing on that sleigh??? Drop her off of Mount Crumpit, I say!

GRINCH 1:32:15 – This movie quite simply knows not where it should end.

GRINCH 1:33:30 – The Grinch says he’s sorry for stealing Christmas. Does it make all the vandalism okay?

GRINCH 1:35:40 – I’m just waiting for someone to insist that the Grinch actually wear some pants.

GRINCH 1:36:30 – And the Grinch got to carve the roast beast. Is that a euphanism to him banging Christine Baranski?

GRINCH 1:38:00 – And ROLL CREDITS!

Final thoughts on Ron Howard’s THE GRINCH… I liked every part of Chuck Jones’ television special better… in every way.

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Kevin Live-Tweets ‘Black Christmas’ (1974)

Kevin Carr — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 13:22:00 +0000

On December 18, Kevin joined the live-tweet of Bob Clark’s original 1974 Black Christmas, which was organized by @LostHighway. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

Please note that many other folks participated in this live-tweet, which can be found by searching #blackxmas_live.

I am rolling. had a technical glitch, but caught up with the heavy breather in #blackxmas_live

#blackxmas_live 05:15 – Magot Kidder as a lush. There’s a fresh idea.

#blackxmas_live 05:35 – “You’re a real gold-plated whore, mother. You know that?” wow.

#blackxmas_live 06:35 – I’ll hand it to this movie. They don’t just put a pretty girl in glasses to make her ugly. they get a real one

#blackxmas_live 07:15 – I think he’s choking a real chicken this time.

#blackxmas_live 08:10 – “Let me lick it.” Sounds like Reagan from the EXORCIST.

#blackxmas_live 09:10 – Is Margot Kidder the house mother or a 30-year-old sorority sister?

#blackxmas_live 10:15 – Why are everyone whose over 25 in this house drunk?

#blackxmas_live 11:00 – And the killer is… Tom Cruise. ‘Cause he’s still in the closet. Get it? huh? Get it?

#blackxmas_live 12:00 – Was she just killed by a taun taun?

#blackxmas_live 14:45 – She’s talking to Romeo.

#blackxmas_live 15:50 – How much booze is stashed in this sorority house anyway?

#blackxmas_live 17:45 – That’s right people. Those extras are the only black people in BLACK CHRISTMAS.

#blackxmas_live 18:45 – So this guy doesn’t know where his daughter lives? WTF?

#blackxmas_live 19:30 – Underpriveledged children? The kind that get a lame Santa and a drunk Lois Lane handing out candy?

#blackxmas_live 20:10 – “I didnt’ sent my daughter here to be drinking and picking up boys.” This was college in the 70s, man.

#blackxmas_live 21:10 – This woman has zero taste in hats. That is all.

#blackxmas_live 21:45 – I’m pretty sure PETA was unhappy with the Claude treatment.

@ThatStevenC When I searched “black christmas” on netflix, the choices were this and THIS CHRISTMAS, the Tyler Perry wannabe movie.

#blackxmas_live 23:20 – So Juliet in the massive pink hat wants to abort David Bowman’s baby. This is a whacky film.

@StellarReviews He’s not even trying. He’s worse than the wino Santa my kids went to last week. #blackxmas_live

#blackxmas_live 26:40 – Is Margot Kidder drinking motor oil now?

#blackxmas_live 27:50 – Apparently they haven’t invented liquor stores yet. Why else would hte house mother be stashing booze like acorns/

#blackxmas_live 28:30 – This movie needs a giant leg lamp to make it perfect.

@ThatStevenC You’d think she’s start smelling by now. #blackxmas_live

#blackxmas_live 29:15 – Jason Voorhees beats this guy up with his own hockey mask.

#blackxmas_live 30:00 – This movie has more flannel in it than a HOME IMPROVEMENT reunion with Bob Vila and George Lucas.

#blackxmas_live 31:50 – He wants to know why no one is looking for Claire. I want to know why no one has gone in the attic.

@Losthighway He would play a cop in a caveman movie. #blackxmas_live

#blackxmas_live 33:00 – Where were the sororities populated with drunken 30-year-old women cutting pix out of Playboys when I was in school?

#blackxmas_live 34:40 – Wow. This is turning into an after-school special with Margot Kidder as the drunken father.

#blackxmas_live 35:50 – When performance art goes bad.

#blackxmas_live 36:15 – It’s a good thing he’s got his pimpin’ coat on!

#blackxmas_live 37:50 – Snowmobiles, dogs and a search party. And all someone had to do was go to the attic for a coat.

#blackxmas_live 38:45 – Claude the cat gets the prize. He found the dead girl… and is about to eat her.

#blackxmas_live 39:45 – Claude?

#blackxmas_live 40:00 – Claude?

#blackxmas_live 41:05 – Bingo. Drunken house mother wins the 2nd place prize… a hook to the face.

#blackxmas_live 42:40 – I refuse to believe that Art Hindle in his pimpin’ Chewbacca coat heard none of that.

#blackxmas_live 43:25 – That mustache isn’t even real.

#blackxmas_live 44:15 – Shouldn’t you be getting that abortion by now?

#blackxmas_live 45:15 – Mrs. Mack! Claude! Why won’t anyone answer?

@StellarReviews I have to say that I too like a little more slashing in my slasher flicks. #blackxmas_live

#blackxmas_live 47:55 – I think that couch used to live at my grandmother’s house c. 1976.

#blackxmas_live 48:45 – He doesn’t want to line up behind 8 people to take a bath? Is he going to school in Afghanistan?

#blackxmas_live 51:00 – Cops. Always playing practical jokes and not letting the audience in on them.

#blackxmas_live 51:35 – Ahhhhhh… the fellatio phone number joke comes back. Wacka wacka wacka.

#blackxmas_live 52:35 – Is that Christmas tree turning into a pod person from INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS?

#blackxmas_live 53:40 – John Saxton and the Canadian Telephone Service to the rescue.

#blackxmas_live 54:20 – This guy is sooooo totally calling for a hooker.

#blackxmas_live 55:05 – What constitutes “not drinking much at all” in this sorority?

#blackxmas_live 55:48 – The phone technician it making sweet, sweet love to that avacado-green phone.

#blackxmas_live 57:30 – It’s not a party until the ugly girl with glasses breaks down and cries.

#blackxmas_live 1:00:15 – In its theatrical release, no one was permitted to enter or leave during the avacado-green phone scene.

#blackxmas_live 1:00:55 – And there’s Margot Kidder, sleeping it off.

#blackxmas_live 1:01:50 – We are an hour in, and there have been 2 1/2 deaths (the h.s. girl counts as only 1/2)

#blackxmas_live 1:02:30 – Isn’t it sweet that the disadvantaged kids are caroling to the house with the crazy drunk lady & wino Santa?

#blackxmas_live 1:04:00 – Lois Lane is going to regret collecting unicorns.

#blackxmas_live 1:05:20 – “Get the children into the car!” There’s like a dozen kids. Are they getting into a clown car?

#blackxmas_live 1:06:40 – These prank calls seem to be a team effort.

#blackxmas_live 1:08:55 – Is she wearing a nightgown from LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE

#blackxmas_live 1:09:45 – The police station is where the Pixar Luxo Jr. lamps white trash cousins work.

#blackxmas_live 1:11:50 – It’s important to tell John Saxton and his comb-over about your abortion.

#blackxmas_live 1:12:45 – Was Peter with you when you got a call? What about President Nixon? Or the Pope? Maybe it was them.

#blackxmas_live 1:13:45 – This police force doesn’t have the budget for ceiling lights.

#blackxmas_live 1:14:35 – “We’re with the search party.” We’re also here for the panty raid.

#blackxmas_live 1:15:00 – Why is John Fielder and Bill Nye the Science Guy coming to sorority houses carrying guns?

#blackxmas_live 1:17:15 – Phil?! Mrs. Mack?! Claude!?

#blackxmas_live 1:18:20 – The prank caller is not doing his impression of this week’s episode of GOOD TIMES.

#blackxmas_live 1:20:00 – They’re coming from inside the house! Where have I heard that before? LOL.

#blackxmas_live 1:20:20 – Looks like Jennings spilled some Smucker’s jelly all over his neck.

#blackxmas_live 1:21:20 – “Are you the only one in this house?” “No.” “You got that right, sister.”

#blackxmas_live 1:22;25 – Phil! Bob! Claude!

#blackxmas_live 1:23:30 – A fireplace poker. Poker? I don’t even know her.

#blackxmas_live 1:24:25 – Ha! Booze on Margot Kidder’s wreath. That is awesome.

RT @StellarReviews: #blackxmas_live Really? It took them that long? He’s killing people in the house it’s not that big. HA!

#blackxmas_live 1:26:40 – How far away is this police station? Isn’t it a small college town?

#blackxmas_live 1:28:45 – Kier Dullea and his creepy Alex-from-Clockwork-Orange hairstyle are here to save the day… or kill her.

#blackxmas_live 1;29:55 – Six days later… the cops finally show up.

#blackxmas_live 1:30:55 – Er… Juliet, you’re supposed to abort the baby, not the boyfriend.

#blackxmas_live 1:31:45 – That is one big freaking alarm clock.

#blackxmas_live 1:32:30 – Reporters??? Why are they in the sorority house?

#blackxmas_live 1:33:00 – Claire’s dad wanted some attention, so he fainted. Nice.

#blackxmas_live 1:34:00 – You’d think they’d remove the blood-stained mattress if they’re going to remove the sheets.

@Skippyqsb Nash is the greatest cop since the deputy from CABIN FEVER. #blackxmas_live

#blackxmas_live 1:35:55 – And they still haven’t found the other 2 dead bodies? These people are total morons.

#blackxmas_live 1:36:30 – And ROLL CREDITS! We needed more pimpin’ Chewbacca coats in this movie.

Final thoughts on BLACK CHRISTMAS-Not as good as I remember. Pretty tame for a slasher. Coulda used some boobs w/ the booze. #blackxmas_live

@Losthighway It’s better in a theater. Saw it at an all-night horror marathon a few years back. Liked it better then. #blackxmas_live

Thanks to @chrisbanzai @Drive_In_Dan @cbachelder @Losthighway @Skippyqsb @JCouturier @ThatStevenC @StellarReviews for joining in on the live-tweet

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The ‘Prince of Darkness’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 13:14:45 +0000

On December 12, Kevin was joined by some of his favorite tweeps to live-tweet the John Carpenter apocalyptic 80s classic, Prince of Darkness. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

kevincarr: Pressing PLAY on PRINCE OF DARKNESS. #pod1987tweet

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet John Carpenter wrote, directed, and scored PRINCE OF DARKNESS. Just another day in t/filmmaking office for him.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet Pressed Play… Someone promise me this is better than H3. K thanks.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 00:30 – Actually one of the more compelling John Carpenter soundtracks for his films.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet I hate horror movies. Why am I doing this? Oh, right. I’m an idiot and like being sleep deprived & spending time w/@kevincarr

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 0:45 was that on his crotch?

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 01:10 – Our hero, sporting the Tom Atkins stache. And our heroine, sporting the Ziggy Stardust mullet.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:17 College students? Nah, way too old. Grad students? Still way too old.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 1:29 THAT dude has an awesome stache!

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 2:09 And enter t/greatest over-actor of his time, Donald Pleasance + t/sadly underrated Victor Wong.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 02:20 – And Donald Pleasance, sporting the Kevin Carr goatee.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 2:25 its Donald! My favorite man of horror

StellarReviews: @FyodorFish I was thinking the same thing. #pod1987tweet

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 02:45 – And the old Chinese dude from BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA sporting his goofy long hair.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 3:00 this asian dude has an ugly as mullet lol

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet Luckily, I can finally say that when this movie came out, I was too young. LOL.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 3:05 For those not in t/know, Victor Wong stole every scene in BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 3:14 Are those ants? God, I hate ants!

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 4:30 Wow that guy is already balding… How old are these people? well, suppose to be? lol

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 4:30 Jameson Parker gets a special screen credit as “Brian.”

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 4:42 Um that dude looked like he wasn’t looking at the teacher for learning. :-/

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 04:45 – I’ve gotta become a professor. Lots of “Hot for Teacher” moments. Even for this guy, apparently.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 5:15 Whoa, what’s this about our reality collapsing at t/sub-atomic level? I don’t like t/sound of that.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 5:35 Victor Wong seems to be yelling at his class for no reason, damn he talks loud.

kevincarr: @StellarReviews There is an odd abundance of bald dudes in this movie. But the heroine makes up for it w/ her mullet. #pod1987tweet

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 6:28 Wow, credits are still not done? Digging t/stache Mr. Parker, but chill on t/stalker behavior.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 6:50 dude is checking out the red head. I agree shes quite hot

StellarReviews: @kevincarr #pod1987tweet LMAO She has more hair on the top then any of them put together.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 06:55 – Look at the size of that jacket. There’s room enough for two in there.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 7:00 A campus full of hot co-eds and he has goo-goo eyes for HER?

kevincarr: @StellarReviews And probably on the bottom too. This was the 80s, after all. (Did I just say that? Yes, I did.) #pod1987tweet

StellarReviews: Ok we are past the 8 minute marker in #pod1987tweet and we are still doing credits? UGH.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 8:30 I still have no idea what’s going on.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 08:45 – Hey, that’s the limo from Dan O’Herlihy in HALLOWEEN 3.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 9:05 Was that nun wearing high heels? Think so.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 10:00 Dr. Donald is personally blowing Dr. Wong’s mind. T/devil is in t/(scientific) details.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 10:24 and the credits are STILL running. We get it, everybody is too important to scroll quickly at the end.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 10:25 – Playing solitaire with your shirt unbuttoned. This guy is a sexy beast.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 10:35 why the hell is he alone playing cards with his shirt opened? kinda creepy

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 11:50 Once a week for food? Did he horde it or was he on a strict diet?

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet “Once a week he would venture out for food.” Sounds a little like me lol

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 12:40 T/Brotherhood of Sleep? Where do I sign up?

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 13:20 A room full of candles is never a good sign in any movie.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 13:30 – Welcome to the evil green goo phase, people. This movie is wacky, but totally awesome!

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 13:35 Evil is a green, spinning goo? Okay, I’ll go w/it, but who lights all those candles every day?

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 13:40 finally we get to see the green evil goo

StellarReviews: @FyodorFish Can women join? #pod1987tweet I don’t know what it’s like to sleep well, or sleep much lol

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 14:45 – So whose job is it to light all those candles?

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 14:45, however, I would love a room full of candles. But, not that room lol

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 15:30 In 1987, wearing lavender shirts, unbuttoned, rolled up sleeves was cool, way, way cool.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 15:35 this redhead is hot but quite boring

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 16:00 – That fat guy with the Hawaiian shirt doesn’t get teh point of fat guys wearing bulky Hawaiian shirts.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 16:10 and there folks is the righteous indignation.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 16:15 yeah im sure you had some awesome plans u crazy asian man

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 16:15 Sleep with him get an “A”… and then the main guy says, “What about your plans” HAHA.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 17:30 is he trying to impress her with a card trick! damn this guy is never gonna get laid

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 17:30 “Sexist and proud of it.” Yeah, that’ll win her over. Way to blow it, stache man.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 18:02 I’m a sexist, please stay with me.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet @carcarr819: 18:07 “This conversation isn’t what I had in mind.” Yeah, we KNOW what you had in mind pal.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 18:30 You do need help… Starting with your hair. Then your clothes. Just sayin’.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 18:40 – “Each of you is a competent physicist even tho you don’t have a degree to prove it” Good thing they’re not in medicine

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 19:20 I love how t/old church is right smack in a commercial area. Yeah, let’s keep t/green goo in a city.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 19:35 – Homeless people with ants on them, acting weird. Is that actually someone out of normalcy?

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 20:00 When Dr. Donald says “No prison can hold him” you know we are well and truly f—–.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 20:26 we’re gonna retranslate a book no one else could, magically and quickly in less then 2 hours.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 20:45 – “No prison can hold him now.” Is the Prince of Darkness named Roman Polanski?

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 21:20 – Wow. Proof that all you need to get laid in a John Carpenter movie is sandy blond hair and an awesome stache.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 21:14 Again? Where was I? WOAH. What? They’re in bed. Geez they moved fast, just like H3. I thought the 70s was the sex times?

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 21:20 the mustache guy got lucky. seems like a stalker, guess thats a great way to seduce women after all

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 22:25 – I don’t even want to know what his stache smells like right now.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 22:50 this chick is very afraid of commitment. she just wants sex. where are all of these women at?

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 23:30 – And enter Alice Cooper in one of his best roles ever.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 23:38 Enter a makeup-less Alice Cooper and a bunch of creepy homeless people. This can’t be good.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 23:45 more hobos? lots of creepy hobos

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 24:10 – We’d like to introduce you to some of the hottest brainy nerd in the university.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 24:45 – I still find these annoyingly baggy styles form the 80s strangely attractive.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 24:45 That’s creepy? Really?

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 26:00 – Hey look! It’s Thom Bray! His other big hit… TV’s RIPTIDE!

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 26:10 who the hell wears a tie and jeans. this guy looks like a total moron.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 26:42 Digging t/high-tech computer equipment. Did you check out t/256K floppy drive? I want one.

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC Again… that was an 80s thing. #pod1987tweet

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 27:10 And rounding out t/cast, your token African American. Now where’s t/token Latino?

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 28:00 – “This thing that shall be unleashed”? Did Jesus just predict the popularity of the TWILIGHT series?

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 28:15 since when did priests start traveling around in Limos?

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 28:45 Yea her/his voice wasn’t creepy, only the cup was.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 28:50 – Again, a homeless lady eating maggoty food. Is that really odd?

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 29:00 Donald is wearing some serious bling so I guess he can afford that limo of his

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 30:10 the green goo is getting stronger. uh oh

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC And the green goo grows all around all around. And the green goo grows all around. #pod1987tweet

ThatStevenC: @kevincarr #pod1987tweet if I was a hobo I would have higher standards than maggots. I think garbage would be more suitable

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 31:30 “We hadn’t invented differential equations.” “Right.” Mind (mine) officially blown.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 32:20 who types “LD” so slow? lol

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 33:10 – The human trumpet. He was HUGE in vaudeville days.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 33:10 Did anyone remember to bring automatic weapons? Could end up being handy later on.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 33:30 – That’s an awesome Tom & Jerry cartoon, by the way.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 33:40 pizza! i could seriously go for some pizza right now

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 34:20 Homosexual Panic? I knew he was looking at the teacher that way!

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 34:30 – “You don’t bruise from nerves.” Eh, you might, rabbit. You might.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 34:30 Exit our first dweeby victim. He deserves it, for t/ensemble alone. Pigeon christ on a cross? I smell foreshadowing.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 34:35 homosexual panic? lmao

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 35:00 – What’s wrong with using the front door there, Thom?

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 36:05 – See. I told you cycling was dangerous.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 36:15 getting impaled by a hobo would not be an ideal way to die

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 37:35 – Hot girl with glasses = smart girl in a movie.

carcarr819: RT @kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 37:35 – Hot girl with glasses = smart girl in a movie. And she can now be found in TV ads for Realtors.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 38:20 I thought carbon dating took more than 4 hours? Still, 7 million years is impressive.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 38:25 leave the green goo alone!

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 39:32 Jesus was an extra-terrestrial? My mind has been officially blown (again).

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 39:40 There you have it, folks… Jesus was an alien.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 39:50 Jesus was an alien? that’s what I thought too.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 40:25 That’ll teach you to look up with your mouth open.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 40:20 Yea, go up to it, so close. that’s so smart.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 40:30 – Clearly a girl who doesn’t like to swallow.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 40:40 I told you to stay away from the green goo u dumb ass ho

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 40:40 Demon-juice in t/face? That can’t be good. AND she had her mouth open.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 41:30 – I keep expecting Donald Pleasance to launch into a diatribe about how Michael Meyers is pure evil.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 42:30 – Walter’s “You aren’t taking this seriously?” question is reminscent of Keith David’s “Voodoo bullshit” line from THING

kevincarr: @FyodorFish Prepare to have your mind blown seven or eight more times in this movie. #pod1987tweet

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 43:30 Kinetic emission? So that’s what you want to call it? Not demon-juice?

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 43:50 did he say AIR? lol

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 44:40 Wasn’t t/chick in t/blue shirt also in FRIGHT NIGHT? Looks like her.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 45:00 anyone ever tell you you could pass for asian? ok lol

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 45:00 he said outside not out in the hallway, duh.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 45:00 So t/Asian dude is comic relief? He needs to work on his routine.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 45:20 Stroking ourselves heavily? He’s trying to make it the gay asian role he was meant to play.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 46:10 – For as smart as these people are, they are really stupid enough to be sitting ducks.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 47:20 – The”Fat Guy Alarm” is going off.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 47:50 Proximity alert brought to you by ALIEN. Oh snap (as in celery snap, not a neck snap).

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 47:50 – Oh snap! Literally!

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 47:50 Hello, it was telling you she was coming.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 48:00 and the fat ugly car just got his neck snapped.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 48:30 God and anti-god? Like matter and anti-matter? And Father Donald loses his faith. Sad to see, actually.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 48:45 – POD star Jameson Parker’s last acting gig… TV’s JAG. Go figure.

kevincarr: @FyodorFish He’s Kurt Russell’s sidekick in BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. #pod1987tweet

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 49:55 – “This is caca!” Wow. Harsh words from a physicist.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 50:00 this is caca! your caca

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 50;00 Caca? Really? That’s your counter-argument? Oh man, it’s creepy when she doesn’t blink. And he’s done.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 50:04 Who whispers caca to themselves. lol

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 50:55 – This guy’s pretty casual about all the bugs crawling on him.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 51:00 don’t ever let a hobo have a pair of scissors

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 51:50 – So that symbol is for Prince… the Prince of Darkness! It’s all clear now.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 52:00 Calling out “hello” is always a no no

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 52:00 is it just me or did the chick who turned evil look much hotter after losing her glasses?

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 53:20 – The video transmission. Yes! Be ready for another mind blow, @FyodorFish!

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 53:30 We are broadcasting from the future year of 19–. I dig it. I totally dig it.

StellarReviews: @kevincarr @FyodorFish LMAO Yea. So. Mindblowing… #pod1987tweet

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 54:02 Oh he’s up now… was that another “touching ourselves” joke?

FyodorFish: @kevincarr #pod1987tweet Video transmission? I know it well, from seeing PoD b/f and DJ Shadow using it on one of his albums.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 55:02 Now it’s her time to have a dream interference

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 55:40 – How creepy is that. Falling asleep at your desk and finding Donald Pleasance is watching you.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 56:12 Now Donald just sounds like he’s making sh*t up!

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 56:20 – This scene is all kinds of awesome… up to the demonic possession.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 56:20 Finally, some action!

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 56:30 shes getting on top of her! Are we going to see a little lesbian action? Unfortunately no

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 56:32 Yea, when a girl is on top of me, I say, “Yea, excuse me…” very calmly.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 57:45 – Wait… is Walter saying you get laid *at* a Chinese restaurant or eat there after getting laid?

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 57:50 your being very asshole-ish you crazy asian dude

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 58:55 – She has a tattoo on her arm of the Artist Formerly Known as Prince of Darkness.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 59:20 that bruise likes very similar to a cross. uh oh wonder what that means. shes probably screwed

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:00:15 hahah the white girl walks around in a daze, but the asian types. No stereotype there.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:00:19 And here’s your SHINING moment, ladies and gents. And man, was that “Lisa, Mona Lisa” line was lame.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:00:50 – The Prince of Darkness is an excellent typist.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 1:0055 apparently the devil is a very good typist.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:01:00 God Plutonium? What mythology are we dealing with now? Ah, the slurp of (zombie) death approaches.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:01:52 It sounds like they are smoking a bong. Just sayin’. Not that I would know.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 1:01:52 is the black guy abt to have a threesome? he’s one lucky brother

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 1:02:15 “how many of you have fallen asleep tonight?” Does that include the audience?

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:04:00 Message from t/future? Using tachyons? Mind has been blown for the 756th time.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:04:20 A Remote camera view??? ok.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:04:41 The bugs didn’t bother him, just the head falling off.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:04:45 – They cut the power! How could they cut the power? They’re animals!

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:05:15 – Can you hear me now?

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:06:00 Worst rendition of “Amazing Grace” ever.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:06:10 – Looks like ol’ Simon & Simon is hoping he gets laid again.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 1:06:20 And the black guy is singing ‘Amazing Grace’ , no stereotypes here.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:06:45 – Not only can the devil type, but it has an excellent singing voice as well.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:06:55 So the women didn’t have the will power to fight it, but the black guy kills himself? Ok. Sexist movie.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 1:07:00 that was an awesome slitting of the throat.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:09:10 – That girl loooooooooves her Gatorade!

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 1:09:25 this green goo has appeared to get a lot stronger.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:10:00 Someone has a neck cramp. Massage should help. And wait, what’s w/t padre running away scared and shit?

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:10:10 – She’s a squirter.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 1:10:32 apparently the devil can spit out venom like a freaking cobra

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:10:44 What is it with the spitting. lol

ThatStevenC: 1:11:10 the fat man is back #pod1987tweet

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:11:21 Locking the door will keep the PRINCE OF DARKNESS out. Just Sayin’.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:12:55 – This girl ate too much at Thanksgiving dinner.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:13:02 Pregnant? Eew.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 1:13:10 Honey, I swear I was working all weekend!

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 1:13:20 the devil is having a baby! wait the devil is a woman? I wonder who’s the father.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:14:00 – Sorry, guys. The rising sun won’t help you at all with demonically possessed schitzophrenics.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:14:00 Man, that skin rash looks bad, really bad. Maybe a doctor’s visit is in order?

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:14:04 LMAO the chick is picking at the wall while 3 of them watch her.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 1:14:23 Wasn’t someone supposed to wake her up in 45 minutes?

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:14:30 – “Normally, I love being dominated by women.” Best line of the movie.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:14:30 Um, he’s lying. He doesn’t like being dominated by WOMEN.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 1:15:55 He’s in the closet?! Doesnt surprise me.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:16:00 A couple of hours to dig through t/wall? She was practically through it after 3-4 jabs w/her 2×4.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:16:55 – All good actors study their performance in the mirror…. especially an evil mirror.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:17:30 – Erm… this had “bad idea” written all over it.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 1:19:00 I don’t think the devil appreciates your stupid jokes

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:19:09 Transmitting from 199- Well, we passed that year.

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 1:20:10 He’s been dying to kick her a** like this for weeks!

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:20:30 – One more ride on the mustache train, apparently.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:21:00 A plea for universal healthcare? Maybe, but she really should have had that rash looked at.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:22:15 – Another lecture designed to blow @FyodorFish’s mind.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:22:43 I already said she was pregnant.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:23:00 Disappointed by t/lack of over-acting in Father Donald’s performance. Needs more ham.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:23:12 He has to go potty. LOL.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:23:15 – Walter needs to make a pee=pee.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:24:35 – Wakey wakey!

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:25:55 – Walter’s freak-out looks like that of a grieving mother from COPS.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:25:55 That asian boy can scream! LOL

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:26:00 Walter has just peed his pants. Oh now that t/exposition is over and done w/, we finally get some action.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:27:32 What’s with the neck still?

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:27:35 -Knitting needle in the eye. Nothing new in a JC film.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 1:28:30 a pencil in the eye would seriously suck

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:28:50 Wow, t/Asian chick got really burly working her way through t/wall. Yeah, stunt dude in a stunt wig.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:28:58 She/He/Possessed person has to check her rash in the mirror??? LOL

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:29:25 – That ain’t gonna work unless Satan is really, really tiny.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:31:15 haha Asian boy is quick too!

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:31:50 – It’s like she’s going to pass through the Stargate.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 1:31:52 come on Donald! take an ax to that little bitch

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:32:30 – This ax sequence is simply awesome. Awesome, I tell you!

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:33:25 Enter mullet queen!

carcarr819: #pod1987tweet 1:33:34 That was some really bad acting right there. The range of emotions on her face were astounding.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:34:00 That mirror scene really was worth t/wait. Truly memorable. Too bad so little else was.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:34:10 – Sucks to be her.

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 1:34:30 Poor redhead! you will be in hell forever

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:35:00 – Walter has the right idea… get the frak out of there!

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:35:15 Now the Asian boy runs??? LOL. The hobos disappear… Until next time. What about the room of candles?

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1;35:30 – I would love to see the police report on this incident.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet 1:37:20 1999? Dude, she was your gf/FB for like, a day. I wanna watch 12 MONKEYS now. Not really. But still.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:37:30 – A transmission from far in the future… the year 1999.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:38:05 – It’s all about the stache… reaching into the dark side.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet 1:38:20 – And ROLL CREDITS!

ThatStevenC: #pod1987tweet 1:38 and roll credits. damn this film wasn’t nearly as good as i remember it being.

kevincarr: #pod1987tweet @carcarr819 has fallen asleep. I might wake her up to discover she’s had a tachyon dream from the year 1999.

StellarReviews: @kevincarr #pod1987tweet @carcarr819 LMAO!!!

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet 1:38:00 Cheesy double-wake-up shot gets me every time. A truly WTF movie from a master of WTF movies, J. Carpenter.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet Last thoughts: Wonder if JC had to scale down his screenplay to fit limited budget. Lots of great, nutty ideas in PoD.

StellarReviews: #pod1987tweet WAS Better than H3.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet PoD bonus materials? Recommendations, trailer, and…menu. I want a making-of-doc, please.

FyodorFish: Thanks to @carcarr819 @ThatStevenC @kevincarr @StellarReviews for t/#pod1987tweet company. Hella fun, as usual.

StellarReviews: RT @FyodorFish: Thanks to @carcarr819 @ThatStevenC @kevincarr @StellarReviews for t/#pod1987tweet company. Hella fun, as usual.

FyodorFish: #pod1987tweet Wow, theatrical trailer includes shots from t/mirror scene at t/climax.

kevincarr: @FyodorFish Yeah, the 80s were like that. Other films that have trailer spoilers include ANNIE & WILLY WONKA. #pod1987tweet

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The ‘Halloween III: Season of the Witch’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 13:13:50 +0000

On December 12, Kevin was joined by some of his favorite tweeps to live-tweet the out-of-place yet uniquely different franchise installment, Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

Regi_S: #h3tweet Opening credits rolling

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 00:26 John Carpenter (co-scored H3) could do more with one synth tone than… well anyone else.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 00:30 – Nothing says 80s horror like “ptwooo!” in the soundtrack!

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet awesome techno opening. I love you john Carpenter!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 01:30 – HALLOWEEN 3: THE ABSENCE OF MICHAEL MEYERS!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 02:00 – Dean Cundy was the cinematographer! Woot! He went on to do bigger and better things.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 2:24 True fact: Nigel Kneale (Quatermass flicks) wrote t/original screenplay. Took his name off t/credits.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet So it took all of 2 minutes and 40 seconds to draw a pumpkin on a video screen?

kevincarr: #h3tweet 02:40 – And all the epileptics in the theater (and at home) can now pass out.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 2:50 Im going to have a freaking seizure!

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 3:08 Jogging at night? Not particularly scary. Oh wait, he’s been chased by a car.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 03:30 – Um… Your fluffy red junk is hanging out.

kevincarr: @FyodorFish That’s called high-tech video progress right there. #h3tweet

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 4 days after my brithday. Maybe that’s why I love Halloween so much.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 3:30 Those are running clothes.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 3:45 a guy in a race with a car, wonder who will win that race lol

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 4:40 Gotta say, synth score is mighty catchy. Can’t stop nodding my head.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 05:10 – Cue killer dude with awesomely bad hair cut.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 5:00 why do bad guys always wear suits

kevincarr: #h3tweet 05:55 – At least the guy got rid of the feathery dart in his crotch, so it doesn’t look like he’s wearing a USC Trojan.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 6:37 Seriously? Did we just get a “One Hour Later” title on screen? How or why was that necessary?

kevincarr: #h3tweet 06:40 – “One Hour Later.” Wow. This movie gets pretty time specific.

StellarReviews: @FyodorFish LMAO #h3tweet me too. I was thinking the same thing 6:00

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 6:00 Evil guy is dead by getting crushed by car, glad we’re in a junk yard.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 07:15 – “Eight more days to Halloween! Silver Shamrock!”

Regi_S: Shamrocks and Halloween don’t go together #h3tweet

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 7:00 Junkmail is still a probably so that commercial didn’t help much.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 7:20 “Eight more days til Halloween…” creepy AND catchy.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 7:45 3 diffrent masks. what a great selection

kevincarr: #h3tweet 07:50 – Dear Token Black Dude… You might not live through this scene.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 8 more days til halloween!

StellarReviews: @Regi_S Yay you’re here. #h3tweet =~)

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 8:40 yay! he got away. Oh, but he died.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 8;50 there coming!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 09:00 – Do these evil henchmen always appear to a synthesized jump sound?

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 9:20 Enter one of t/greatest B-movie actors of t/1980s…Tom Atkins…

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 9:30 its the legendary Tom Adkins!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 09:45 – Gee, thanks Dad. Those masks must have put you back a whole $0.39 apiece.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet correction Tom Atkins.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 10:30 Divorced, alcoholic doctor = talk about a flawed hero. Can’t say I’m buying Atkins as a doctor, though.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 10:45 – Why is Huggie Bear still hanging around the hospital with the guy clutching the jack-o-mask?

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 11:00 black guy seems afraid he’s going to be accused of fucking this. guy up. what a surprise. always blaming the black guy

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 11:20 Oh, he’s alive.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 11:25 – Hmmm… Tom Atkins as I doctor, I don’t buy. But Tom Atkins as a drunk doctor, totally believeable.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 12:00 – Ew. Dr. Atkins hitting on the 45-year-old chubby nurse. And to think he banged Jamie Lee Curtis in THE FOG.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 12:00 And let’s add sexual harrasser to his many fine qualities…

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 12:30 Tom is gonna get some a lot better than Agnus!

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 13:45 Floor-level Steadicam = spooky (no, not really). Damn, he went w/death by eye gouge.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 13:50 why is the android wearing gloves? its not like he has any DNA

kevincarr: #h3tweet 14:15 – There are faster ways to kill people than breaking their septums after pierceing their eyes… but no cooler way.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 14:50 he wears gloves but is dumb enough to wipe bloody hands on the curtains? what an idiot

kevincarr: #h3tweet 15:30 – Security is generally bad for hospitals that are connected to a strip mall and a high school.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 15:30 Tom Atkins really can’t run can he?

kevincarr: #h3tweet 16:30 -Check out that fireman in the bg. I don’t even think he’s real.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 16:00 And, hello illogical plot turn. So t/killer does what to himself in t/parking lot? Why not something, you know, less public?

StellarReviews: #h3tweet well that was awesome he blew himself up. No one uses a gun anymore.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 16:00 now that’s a fun way to die1 light yourself on fire & explode

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 17:17 oh the phone stops working immediately after his call? Or he Just left it off the receiver? I’m confused lol.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 17:40 – Button up, Dr. Atkins. Do you think this is the 70s?

Regi_S: #h3tweet 17:56 Car is still smoldering

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 18:00 In case you’re wondering, it’s t/next morning, the 24th of October.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 18:00 Tom is ready to take advantage of the vulnerable girl. creepy

kevincarr: #h3tweet 18:40 – The sheriff always blames drugs in scenes like this.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 18:47 no your father isn’t dead bc of a crazy person! He was totally sane.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 19:20 Time to make t/moves on t/cute babe who just lost her father. Oh wait, not just yet.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 19:25 – Sorry your dad was horribly murdered. Would you like to bone in the on-call room?

ThatStevenC: @kevincarr well drugs are bad lol #h3tweet

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 19:20 time for Tom to put the moves on this young little one

Regi_S: #h3tweet 19:34 Tom will hold off on making his move until she is a little more distraught

StellarReviews: #h3tweet yea he’s fine of course. 20:25

kevincarr: #h3tweet 20;30 – What was Dr. Atkins asking if the coronor still had? Herpes, maybe?

StellarReviews: @FyodorFish #h3tweet they were doing so well with the date and hour.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 21:00 So what? The previous five days don’t merit screen time? Not cool.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 21:20 – Wah wah! They’re watching “the immortal classic” of JC’s Halloween.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 21:25 did they seriously just call HALLOWEEN a classic… In H3???lol

kevincarr: #h3tweet 21:55 – Ellie Grimbridge. Mourning daughter by day. Hollywood hooker by night.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 22:00 Enter father-less babe w/big hair and super-cool leather jacket. Oh and a neck scarf to complete t/ensemble.

Regi_S: #h3tweet 22:53 Tom doesn’t know whats going on other than wanting to sleep with Ellie

kevincarr: #h3tweet 23:10 – “I suppose you shop at the new mall like everyone else.” You mean the mall attached to the Arby’s and the hospital?

kevincarr: #h3tweet 23:45 – I have to disagree… “Pick up more masks.” does not constitute keeping great records.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 24:00 Santa Mira? As INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS Santa Mira? Busy for a fictitious small town.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 24:20 – Dr. Atkins just gave Hooker Ellie his come-hither “are we going to bone or what?” look.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 24:25 I can’t get out of hanging with a younger chick. Say hi to the kids for me wifey!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 25:45 – Thank you for the Silver Shamrock corporate history.

Regi_S: #h3tweet 25:ish Tom trying his best to get out of keeping the kids so he can get some tail

kevincarr: #h3tweet 26:00 – Never trust the Irish!

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 24:00-26:00 Work that electro-organ Mr. Carpenter, work it. Ahem.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 26:50 a camera? Awesome. LOL.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 26:55 – FYI… that video camera was super high tech back when this movie was shot… in case you were wondering.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 27:00 Looks a lot like t/town in VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED and/or IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 27:25 – Rent a motel room so we can have a good place to talk… and to have sex.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet Is back! Laptop froze then said i had no internet connection. very weird. working fine now though.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet Doublin Inn should be two time inn. Just sayin.

Regi_S: #h3tweet 27:45 I miss those gas prices

kevincarr: #h3tweet 27:55 – Seriously? The Irish dude working at the gas station also owns the motel and has an Irish brogue?

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 28:00 One of t/worst faux Irish accents I’ve heard…

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 28:00 its cozy, its quiet and the price is right! right for some sex!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 29:20 – The cast from FROM DUSK TILL DAWN has arrived.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet I wanna live in a small town and run the gas station and the motel.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 28:30 a lot of practice not packing and going to motels?

Regi_S: #h3tweet 29:45 Buddy and his wife are looking for wife swapping

kevincarr: #h3tweet 29:55 – Is that crazy woman from the Winnebego supposed to be sexy?

kevincarr: #h3tweet 30:30 – That’s way too much pink for any cheap motel… Pink is supposed to be *in* the room.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet its mr cochran. this movie could have been so much better if he was a mr coacker.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 30:30 Small town folk always act like zoo animals.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 30:35 its getting late. time for some sex!

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 31:05 are they talking about sleep or sex??? It’s still daylight!

Regi_S: #h3tweet 31:12 It’s Ellie doing the seducing

kevincarr: #h3tweet 31:20 – Dr. Atkins. You make my skin crawl.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 31:30 Personal hygiene is obviously not important to our hero (he’s willing to wear t/same clothes 2 days running).

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 31:40 Smooth move, Mr. Hero.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet where do you want to sleep doctor? this sounds like the start of a porno

Regi_S: #h3tweet 31:58 Even pull the pets in so they don’t die

kevincarr: #h3tweet 33:00 – If 6 o’clock is the curfew, why is the general store still open?

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 33:00 Just to clear up any confusion: writer/director Tommy Lee Wallace is NOT related to Tommy Lee Jones.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 33:00 what high tech cameras they have!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 33:25 – Jimmy Stewart, the later years.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet sex already? Geez. They met cuz her father was killed and by the afternoon they are married in a motel having sex. Wow. Awesome.

ThatStevenC: @StellarReviews Tom is a horny old man lol #h3tweet

tragedyman: Following #h3tweet makes me wish the upstairs TV had a DVD player hooked up to it so I could watch it as well.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 34:00 I’m gonna give you all this info I just want a drink and a dollar!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 35:00 – That was by far the most convenient hobo I have ever seen in a movie.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 35:00 And end exposition scene w/town drunk.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 35:20 poor hobo. your gonna die for fucking with the coackran!

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 36:02 If he was so scared of them why’d he talk about them in the first place? In front of the tv cameras? Lol

Regi_S: #h3tweet 36:11 Let go of his ear he knew what he was doing

kevincarr: #h3tweet 36:15 – From afar, they don’t exactly look like they’re ripping his head off.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 36:15 wow looked like they were forcing the hobo to give them a bj. turns out they were just pulling off his head

StellarReviews: Well he got lucky, maybe. He can’t prove it lol RT @ThatStevenC: @StellarReviews Tom is a horny old man lol #h3tweet

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 36:27 Well, at least they took his hat off b/f they removed his head. Budget didn’t stretch to decent practical effects, though.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 37:25 it’s normal for women who have never meet to exchange info with no reason for it…

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 37:30 Did you catch t/shout-out to San Fran and Union Station? Yeah, neither did I.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 38:15 – You’re really going to wrap up in that bedspread? You just had sex on that thing.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 38:15 don’t get the blanket wet! Geez.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 38:35 did I miss the sex scene? I thought i was going to see some skin.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 39:02 Did she just call him Sherlock? Yeah, she did. And yeah, my mind’s drifiting.

Regi_S: #h3tweet 39:23 Doc has a bucket of ice, a bottle of hooch and now a raging hard on to take care of

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 39:36. Geez they did it once and now it’s so natural to them.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 39:39 Good thing she packed a nightie for the impromptu road trick. I like her. She thinks ahead.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 39:40 – No one can resist the animal musk of Dr. Atkins “musktache.”

kevincarr: #h3tweet 40:00 – Just barely boob. Could have been more generous.

StellarReviews: There’s your skin w/his mouth on it! RT @ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 38:35 did I miss the sex scene? I thought i was going to see some skin.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 40:45 LMAO he asked he how old she was after they’ve had sex twice. Remember, he’s too old to keep up all night, geez.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 40:50 – Dr. Atkins is like an old, white trash James Bond, he gets so much tail.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 41:01 So now he asks her how old she is? Bit late for that, don’t you think?

Regi_S: #h3tweet 41:04 Now he’s worried about her age. Chris Hansen would have already had him sitting at the bar discussing what he was going to do

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet I remember full on boobs & not boob licking. wait how old are you? did I just sleep with an underage girl? should have thought b4

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 41:30 Shop owner lady reads Carlos Castaneda? How random.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 42: 10 – Best. Death. Ever!

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 42:35. What?

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 42:40 Gets my vote for ultra-gnarly, er, gnarliest death scene so far.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 42:45 those are some deadly little buttons.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 43:00 – Thank you for the butt shot, Tom Atkins. And thank you for not wearing underwear.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 43:02 I didn’t need to see his backside. Really.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 43:40 a bunch of men in white coats is neve a good thing.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 44:32 misfire? I would think that was intentional.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 45:00 I agree it was just a little accident. no biggie.

Regi_S: #h3tweet 45:13 I would have asked for a better company car than a Chevy Citation

Regi_S: #h3tweet 46:10 Teddy is no Abby Sciuto. Abby would have already solved this by now

kevincarr: #h3tweet 46:30 – Dr. Atkins must be a sex machine. He’s got women all over So Cali doing shit for him.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 46:30 bahahaha. Always ready for dinner with you while I’m in a motel snacking up with my pseudo wifey.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 47:35 – Such a huge factory, and they only make three masks?

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 47:40 damn this lady has such an annoying voice. wonder if shes an android too?

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 48:00 Getting a WILLY WONKA vibe from t/factory visit (as in not a good vibe at all).

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 48:55 damn! I though they’d say the wrong last name! That’s why happens when you sleep with someone you &don’t even know their name

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 49:45 yes he is incredible. More like incredibly evil!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 50:00 – With such a giant factory, you’d think this whole thing would be more automated.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 50:15 that looks like the mold of Freddy.

Regi_S: #h3tweet 50:29 They cut away from the rest of the tour the other part of the factory makes sex toys

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 50:50 He sure does have a lot of toys. what is this neverland ranch?

kevincarr: #h3tweet 51:00 – The soft chainsaw? Who gets punked with a soft chainsaw?

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 51:30 That “microchip” isn’t very micro, is it?

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 51:45 you can’t have this mask, it doesn’t have the killer microchip in it yet!

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 50:20 I think some health regs are being violated here. Yeah, it’s my legal background making a comeback.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 52:17 basically he said I’m not gonna tell you but it took like, a min.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 52:50 he’s one of the richest men and he lives in a small town.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 52:55 – Everyone is just dying to tell Dr. Atkins and Hooker Ellie useful information… and they just want to bone.

ThatStevenC: @kevincarr #h3tweet u would want to be boning Elle too!

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 53:00 Salesman’s wife seems to favor Victorian-era dresses. Reminds me of Angela Lansbury too.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 53:20 is she wearing a wedding dress from the 70s?

kevincarr: #h3tweet 53:55 – Convenience Theater presents… a look at her dad’s car.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 54:38 the Marines?! LOL. pack? I thought they didn’t?

kevincarr: #h3tweet 54:40 – “You pack. I’ll call the police.” Can we have sex one more time before we go?

kevincarr: @StellarReviews The 1870s. #h3tweet

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC Er, yeah… but I don’t have the swanky musktache that Dr. Atkins has. #h3tweet

StellarReviews: Hahaha yes you are correct! RT @kevincarr: @StellarReviews The 1870s. #h3tweet

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 55:40 And that BODY SNATCHERS vibe makes a comeback (creepy phone operator).

kevincarr: #h3tweet 56:40 – He tripped? is he a chick in a horror movie?

ThatStevenC: @kevincarr No, but you do have a big bushy beard. #h3tweet

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 56:21 you left her alone! Ugh. Figures.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 57:20 oh Tom you really suck at running

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 57:36 Feel that? That’s tension you’re feeling. And it only took an hour for us to get there. Yeah, H3 is all about t/slow burn.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 57:46 they have a high tech camera how is he is he hiding in a lit phonebooth?

kevincarr: #h3tweet 58:40 – Tom Atkins is just like a ninja… a chubby, white trash, clumsy ninja.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet I wonder who teaches the androids to drive these cars around the city? they seem pretty dumb so far not being able to catch old tom

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:00:00 – How many more days until Halloween is it? I lost count.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1;00:30 – He’s a doctor, and it took him that long to figure out he’s talking to a robot.

Regi_S: @kevincarr #h3tweet One

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:00:30 what is she wearing? Oh she’s not real.

Regi_S: #h3tweet 1:01:35 Punched the pudding out of him

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:01:45 – Dammit, Jim! I’m a doctor not a robot technician.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:01 I think Tom almost had a heart attack after that chicks head came off.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:01 It’s mano a robot mano time. Yeah. Wait, haven’t we seen that yellow goo before? Oh right, ALIEN (all robots bleed yellow).

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:01:45 aww you killed the… Whatever.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:02:10 I would seriously be wanting some hand sanitizer after sticking my hand in that android.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:03:10 it’s HALLOWEEN!

Regi_S: #h3tweet 1:03:14 Yeah! It’s Halloween

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:03:20 ITS finally halloween

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:03:51 no one sees my secrets! Except you.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:04:30 – Why do evil geniuses always feel the need to explain their plan to the random dude caught snooping around?

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:04:45 What is this place? Its obviously his secret lair!

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:05:01 Big reveal owes a lot to Nigel Kneale’s original script, methinks (just see t/STONE TAPE for evidence).

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:05:20 – David St. Hubbins will be enraged to find out this is where Stonehenge went.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:06:20 so apparently stonehenge is magical now.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:06:30 Hmm, so I guess we won’t find out how they got that massive rock past customs, eh?

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:06:35 – There’s the girl. All tied up. Just like you like it.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:07:10 Finally, t/money shot we haven’t been waiting for: a giant stone rock as t/big reveal.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:07:36 no I’m not worried about being locked in a room with no windows.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:07:15 – Escorting the prize-winning family in the middle of the night to the factory… that’s not suspicious at all.

ThatStevenC: @kevincarr #h3tweet I think your the one who likes there women tied up!

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:08:07 Yeah, so I right about that WILLY WONKA vibe (taken to an extreme, of course).

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:08:15 – I don’t always make the best fashion choices, but I will never wear a shirt like that with a jacket like that.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:08:30 its time! its time! mass murder of children! horray!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:09:20 – Meh… I didn’t like that kid anyway.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:09:45 Angela Lansbury-wannabe is not happy right now, not happy at all. That Mr. Cochran is one evil bastage.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:09:55 I don’t like snakes. And he Just appeared out of a dead kid?

Regi_S: @kevincarr #h3tweet Without Superman pajama pants

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:10:20 I love how the kid dies from the mask, mom a hearattack, and dad a snake bite.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:10:30 – So kids wearing the masks turn into creepy crawlies. And everyone else has a seizure.

kevincarr: @Regi_S Of course not. I’m wearing the superhero pants. #h3tweet

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:11:50 9 p.m. East Coast, Central, or West Coast Time? Just want to have my mask on at t/right time.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:11:55 – These masks have a greater market share than any Hannah Montana merchandise.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:12:20 wearing a mask while skateboarding? what a great idea.

Regi_S: #h3tweet 1:12:30 With where the kids were walking in Phoenix I don’t think they will be getting any candy Looks kind of barren

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:13:22 will the other other woman save the day? Lol

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:13:50 – They apparently don’t pay this coroner enough to stand up. She must have the worst case of piles ever.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:14:00 It’s DRILLER KILLER time! Ahem, what are we watching again?

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:14:45 this chick must be the worst coroner ever to not know these were car parts earlier. oh she just died w drill to head

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:15:10 – And that’s the moral. Soft rock kills.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:15:10 since when doe that thing Need a power drill? Especially if you aren’t gonna show it lol

Regi_S: #h3tweet 1:15:25 Death by drill . Now I won’t to watch Slumber Party massacre

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:16:00 do I really need a reason to kill as many kids as possible? IDK I guess kids can be pretty damn annoying.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:16:25 Man, this old dude really likes to flap his lips, doesn’t he? Just get on w/it man.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:16:30 – Why does Carlos the gas station attendant have a brogue, but the evil genius doesn’t?

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:17:20 only 20 minutes left and the first mention of the world witchcraft. awesome. there making him watch hallowwen.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:17:27 Evil old dude reveals he’s into astrology. Now, I’m really scared.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:17:50 – And a music cue from the original “classic” HALLOWEEN makes an appearance.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:18:00 Watching HALLOWEEN again, are we? Showing a superior horror flick during a mediocre one? Might want to rethink that.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:18:36 ohhh buttons!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:18:55 – And Dr. Atkins is restrained… just like Jesus on the cross. But Jesus didn’t have that awesome skull mask.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:18 That was one seriously accurate throw, from a restrained sitting position no less.

Regi_S: #h3tweet 1:19:45 The Doctor might just be MacGyver

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:20:20 he escapes! Look at the tv. You’re a bad evil guy. And not in a good way.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:20:30 – Thank god this factory was built with the standard man-sized ventilation shafts.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:20:30 Tom escaped? oh shit whats gonna happen?

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:21:40 aren’t we glad cameras move faster Now?

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:22:17 all other doors are locked! Except this one I found… Oh and a phone that works.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:22:20 – He’s in the factory. He’s out of the factory. He’s back in the factory. Make up your mind, Dr. Atkins.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:23;05 Tom’s wife seems to be an annoying bitch who doesn’t know when to listen

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:23:25 – Too bad Dr. Atkin’s ex-wife is the only woman in So Cali who isn’t under his control.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:23:30 Hoping that onscreen counter is accurate (as in t/H3’s ending soon).

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1;23:50 ugh he knows you’d go in there geez lol

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:23:55 – “Ellie!” Let’s get out of here. But can we bang once more time before we leave?

ThatStevenC: @kevincarr well she is his ex! he probably couldn’t control her #h3tweet

Regi_S: #h3tweet 1:24:00 Bet the good Doctor copped a feel during the rescue

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:24:55 – If it’s Halloween already, and they just made the masks for massive human sacrifice, why are they still making them?

ThatStevenC: 1:25:08 these sudden bits of techno music are hilarious #h3tweet

ThatStevenC: 1:26:40 Tom is performing some crazy ninja stealth action #h3tweet

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:27:08 hahaha he pushed buttons! I knew they’d come in handy!

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:27:46 this is hilarious!!! Hahaha! That was easy.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:27:50 Wow. That probably went waaaaay better than Dr. Atkins thought it would.

Regi_S: #h3tweet 1:27:50 more pudding

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:27:55 well that was easy, he just killed the whole factory

Regi_S: #h3tweet 1:28:45 Well played good doctor *Golf clap

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:28:45 Wow, I totally don’t remember this at all. Circle of blue light? Stone as energy conduit? Evil dude? Stone? What?

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:29:00 So cochran just turned to stone and vanished. ok I guess that makes perfect sense.

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:30:00 – Again, Dr. Atkins’ skills as a doctor are tested… and he fails miserably.

tragedyman: If the world were a just 1… RT @kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:11:55 – These masks have a greater market share than any Hannah Montana merchandise.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:30:00 Dr. Hero just had his oh-shit moment. No, not Elie. Yeah, she wasn’t much of a heroine, bu I dug her 80s style.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:30:20 oh shit Elle is evil too! time to kill your fuck buddy I guess.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:30:59 wait… If she is one of them why did she let him kill her kind and ruin the plan?

StellarReviews: #h3tweet why use the brake? Pfft it’s overrated!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:31:35 – Even decapitated, the Ellie robot has a nice ass.

tragedyman: Should be the moral of EVERY movie & TV show. RT @kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:15:10 – And that’s the moral. Soft rock kills.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:31:40 Tom was successful in taking off her head, but the bitch is still alive/ damn those crazy androids!

ThatStevenC: @kevincarr I had a feeling you were going to say that #h3tweet

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:32 Wait, what happened to t/real Ellie? Don’t tell me she was an android all along? No, that doesn’t make any sense (like H3).

StellarReviews: #h3tweet 1:32:24 hahaha. “Uhhhh” bc her robotic arm weighed a ton!

Regi_S: #h3tweet 1:33:00 Oh yeah she will

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:33:15 – And Huggie Bear gets a final nod in the end.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:33:32 the old black guy is back and there in a junkyard. this seems strangely familiar.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet 1:34:34 thankfully Cochran was smart enough to put his commercial on all three channels lol and roll credits!

kevincarr: #h3tweet 1:34:50 – And ROLL CREDITS!

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:35:02 Wait, that’s it? I want to know what happened to t/real Ellie. And oh yeah, t/third commercial.

kevincarr: Final thoughts on HALLOWEEN 3… Goofy as hell, but a pretty unique story. Wish they made more of these. #h3tweet

Regi_S: #h3tweet Last channel must have been a fox affiliate. Credits roll

Regi_S: #h3tweet @FyodorFish I thought she received a misfire

FyodorFish: #h3tweet 1:36:06 Well, at least we can rock out to Carpenter’s synth score. Reminds me of t/Dr. WHO theme. Everyone, nod your heads…

StellarReviews: #h3tweet FINAL THOUGHTS? LOL. Ok.

FyodorFish: #h3tweet Final thoughts? I’d forgotten huge chunks of H3, all for good reason. I’m w/@kevincarr, though. Wish there had been more.

ThatStevenC: #h3tweet Final thoughts on H3… a really cheesy horror film that is far better than people think. & better than most of the sequels.

StellarReviews: #h3tweet time for my wine after that. @ThatStevenC I should have been drunk for that.

Regi_S: #h3tweet Final thoughts on H3. Early 80’s horror cheese that almost seems made for TV if it weren’t for Tom Atkins’ ass

Follow Kevin on…

The ‘Lifeforce’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 16:42:35 +0000

On December 5, Kevin was joined by @FyodorFish, @StellarReviews, @Regi_S, @Siblings_at_Law and @carcarr819 to live-tweet the 80s space vampire movie Lifeforce. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 00:30 – This has one of the coolest opening credit scores.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet Oh good, a Golan/Globus (Cannon Group) production. Always a sign of quality.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet Tobe Hooper followed up POLTERGEIST with… LIFEFORCE.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:00 John Dykstra (STAR WARS) handled t/EFX.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 01:30 – “Based on the novel ‘The Space Vampires’”… hmmm… I wonder what this movie is about.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:30 Dan O’Bannon (ALIEN) co-wrote t/adaptation based on Colin Wilson’s novel, “T/Space Vampires.”

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 02:00 – This ship is equipped with the Nerva engine. It’s got some Nerva.

StellarReviews: Was thinking the same RT @kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 00:30 – This has one of the coolest opening credit scores.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 02:40 – “what’s 150 miles long?” That’s what she said. Wacka wacka wack!

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 2:56 Check out t/high-tech visual displays. What’s this about t/head of t/comet? An alien spacecraft you say?

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 05:20 – This kinda looks like Spock’s spacewalk in STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet So, an alien spacecraft hidden inside Halley’s Comet? Okay, no suspension of disbelief needed there.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 05:40 – It also kinda looks like the video from Katie Couric’s colonoscopy.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 5:40 did she say gigantic organ?!

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 06:35 – “We found the occupants of the ship. They look like bats… giant bats.” I wonder if they’re space vampires.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 5:30-6:53 Wonder and awe moments coming our way. Yawn. Oh wait, alien occupants look like bats, giant bats.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 07:50 – There’s a design flaw in that specimin bag in the sense that it’s not a bag, but a net instead.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet specimen bag?

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 7:20 First thing you do when you come across a space vampire? Break off his dessicated finger.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 8:14 that reminded me of Evolution. Haha. Sorry.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 8:46 “It’s like a giant umbrella.” That folks, took a lot of imagination to write.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 09:35 – The advice of “Go towards the light” shouldn’t be heeded if the light is coming from a giant space sphincter.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 10:40 they look like an… What? You can’t stop there. That’ll drive me crazy.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 10:50 – Thank you for the nudity, Tobe Hooper. I love ya, man!

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 10:50 Three bodies, perfectly preserved. Oh and they’re naked too. Are naked space aliens ever a good sign? I say nay.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 11:30 – Not only are the bodies naked and perfectly preserved in suspended animation, the chick has\ professional make-up.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 12:20 Space astronauts are floating erect, mesmerized. Okay, let’’s call it what it is: they’re horny.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 12:25-These astronaut dudes are just a little too horny for their job as scientists. “She’s perfect. I’d say she’s perfect.”

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 13:30 What? Thirty Days Later? What a cheat.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 13:58 I know I know… He said “Soft Dock.”

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 14:15 – All this techno mumbo-jumbo is boring. Is the naked hot chick okay? That’s what I want to know.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 14:35 Oh, they’re sending t/Columbia (space shuttle) to retrieve t/missing shuttle. Revelations to come.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 15:00 – This is how big space shuttles make baby space shuttles.

StellarReviews: @FyodorFish @kevincarr I love how the guys are covered by shadows but the woman has all the lights on her. #lifeforcetweet

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 16:20 – “Houston, we have a problem.” And not the APOLLO 13 kind of problem. A real space vampire problem!

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 17:00 – He seemed pretty casual about them being all dead.

StellarReviews: I so feel cheated! RT @FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 13:30 What? Thirty Days Later? What a cheat.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 17:25 – Zero-G acting = moving very very slowly.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet Random observation: LIFEFORCE shares certain plot elements w/a Roger Corman pic from 1965: QUEEN OF BLOOD.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 17:40 – Oh please. Did they just call the place where the naked hot chick is the “tug bay”?

FyodorFish: @StellarReviews #lifeforcetweet Yeah, I was expecting, minimum, 4-5 space orgies.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 17:45 “There’s something you outta see in t/tug bay.” Ahem.

StellarReviews: Of course! What else did they do?! RT @FyodorFish: @StellarReviews #lifeforcetweet Yeah, I was expecting, minimum, 4-5 space orgies.

StellarReviews: Haha I love his mask #lifeforcetweet 19:17

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 19:30 One of t/other meanings of “comet?” “Disaster.” Uh-oh. Nothing could can come out of that info.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 19:58 I say she’s a woman. Naked. She knows how to kiss too. Naked.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 20:00 – The silliest thing about this movie is that when Halley’s Comet did come by in 1986, you could barely see it at all.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 20:30 Is it her vampiric hotness or is every guy she encounters sex-deprived? Or both?

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 20:40 – A curiously placed spotlight on Mathilda May’s naughty bits.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 21:00 – Looks like this guy is going to make this room a “tug bay”.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 21:40 – Wow. This movie coudl be about TeleTubbies that rape kittens, and I’d still watch it if this girl ran around naked.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 22:30 – You can tell this movie was made in the 80s b/c Mathilda May hasn’t pruned the bushes, if you get my drift.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet Random fact: Mathilada May is French. She has no lines in LIFEFORCE and doesn’t list LIFEFORCE on her resume. Wonder why?

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 23:19 and there she goes.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 23:57 she’s killing people and he’s trying to bribe her with food?

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 24:00 Space vampiress: giving new meaning to the phrase “sucked t/life right out of him.”

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet Correction: She has at least one line (or someone dubbed it in for her).

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 24:20 – “A naked girl is not going to get out of this complex.” Erm… I’d let her out.

kevincarr: @FyodorFish Couldn’t tell you… I wasn’t looking to see if her lips matched her voice. #lifeforcetweet

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 24:45 “Don’t worry, a naked girl won’t get out of this complex.” How wrong you are, how wrong you are.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 26:17 Was that a Darth Vader-style Force choke? Methinks it was.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 27:00 – Aaaaaand… the naked girl got out. Nice going, Professor.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 27:00 You know, I was almost worried she was going to cut her feet on all that broken glass. Guess not.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 28:20 – It’s the Michael Jackson autopsy… awwww, #toosoon?

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 28:45 – Tell me how she overpowered you? Well, I’m a horny bastard to start…

StellarReviews: Ugh he said no 29:30 lol #lifeforcetweet

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 29:50 Generic Brit dude doesn’t look god. He might have caught a space bug from t/space vampire chick.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 30:15 Totally should never be used in the same sentence twice.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 31:40 Doctor Exposition is on t/case. “She’s totally alien, she’s totally dangerous.” You think?

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 31:40 only the guys faces?

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 32:00 – Just go stampeding to calling her a vampire.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 32:25 – Totally.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 33:00 – Now what are we going to do with the sleeping Menendez brothers here?

StellarReviews: 33:26 awww he’s growling. #lifeforcetweet

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 33:30 – When Jonas Brothers attack!

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 33:34 So naked vampire dudes (no full frontal) don’t try to seduce t/Army dudes. Some viewers will be disappointed.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 35:20 – And this is when I’d chose to leave the room.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 35:45 Ty captain obvious. I see a pattern, too.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 36:05 – If I were going to have my lifeforce sucked out of me, I’d rather have the hot chick do it than the skeleton guard

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 36:10 Doctor on corpsicle kiss: gross.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 36:50 – At this point, Urkel should come in and say, “Did I do thaaaaaaat?”

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 37:25 – “I had no idea it could be passed on.” Didn’t you just suggest they were vampires?

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 38:30 Damn, show some respect for t/dead (and cover that corpse). Or at least not let civilians come that close.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 39:15 – “Now she has clothes.” So that APB on “hot, naked chick” is gonna have to change? Hm?

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 39:52 He is Captain Obvious of Lifeforce.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 40:35 – Is this professor the only person who knows the basic myths of vampires?

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 41:00 So yeah, let’s poke t/corpsicle in t/chest w/a stick, you know, just for effect.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 41:26 what’s the 2 hr cycle? I feel like I missed something lolz

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 41:30 – That was one unstable vampire.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 42:25 – The new vampire chick needs a waxing in a bad way.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 43:10 Impressive corpsicle explosion. Gotta say, those corpsicle puppets are kinda freaky.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 44:30 And finally, Steve Railsback makes a comeback. Took long enough.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 45:35 Finally, the flashback we’ve been waiting for: what happened on t/Churchill during t/missing 30 days?

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 46:00 – Dear Tobe Hooper… please bring back the naked chick.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 47:10 how did he get it with no touchy touchy?

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 48:00 – On a space shuttle, it’s hard to blame things on other people.

StellarReviews: @FyodorFish this isn’t what happened in those 30 days. We know the truth! #lifeforcetweet

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 49:40 – You’d think he’d clean up the bodies. Tidy up a bit, you know.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 50:00 I thought fire = bad. And what about the 2 hr rule? I’m so confused.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 50:30 Nice use of a wide angle lenses and canted camera angles there, Mr. Hooper. Mind beginning to wander…

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 51:15 – Space vampire bat. It’s what’s for dinner.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 51:15 this reminds me of a Prince song…

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 52:00 – “It was the hardest thing I ever did.” Almost as hard as trying to lick my elbow.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 52:00 So he tried to destroy t/aliens w/o you know, opening their containers? T/ones they’ve been in for years?

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 53:50 – I look away for a second, and we’re into some bizarre gothic music video.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 54:00 Are they having sex in a church? In a graveyard? That’s just so wrong. Wait, scratch that. She’s naked again.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 54:40 – This dream sequence makes about as much sense as the jazz club scene in SPIDER-MAN 3.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 55:00 Joel Schumacher was positively inspired to make FLATLINERS after sitting through this scene.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 55:50 – Well, now that *that’s* over we can continue with the movie, yes?

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 56:25 Wait, how did Carlson end up in t/hospital? And seriously dude, man up. Dream wasn’t that bad.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 56:44 in touch as in physicalz

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 56:45 – Speed-hypnosis… with a flashlight.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 57:45 – She has a different face, and she’s wearing a trash bag. Dressing as a California Raisin, apparently.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 58:30 Of course she can restrain herself. T/dude standing in t/same room survived an encounter w/her.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 59:00 This whole body switching thing (say WTF?) w/Carlson’s panting his way through t/lines? Creeping me out.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 59:45 – This is pretty much turned into a PSA of why you shouldn’t pick up hitch-hikers.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:00:30 vampires drink blood. …

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:00:50 – “If the girl isn’t in her original body, where is the body?” Are you asking because you want to take it home?

kevincarr: @FyodorFish Actually, the dream was quite awesome. #lifeforcetweet

FyodorFish: RT @kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:00:50 – “If the girl isn’t in her original body, where is the body?” Are you asking because you want to …

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:02:35 – Why does the professor have a flask of Re-Animator fluid at his work station?

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:02 And t/giant space umbrella/vampire wing has arrived. Time to throw down. Or not yet, actually.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:03:30 – So basically the only person who wins is this Ned dude who picked up the sexy hitchhiker and is now exhausted.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:03 So wait, now we’re in a hospital for t/criminally insane? LIFEFORCE gets more + more nonsensical. So, Patrick Stewart.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:04:56 I knew it. Sickos.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:05:00 – I’d love it if these guys ran into the people investigating the American Werewolf in London.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:06:20 – This scene has become oddly sexual… even for this movie.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:06 “No, at all. I’m a natural voyeur.” Best line, so far. That Railsback fellow, though? Seriously histrionic.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:07:20 did Patrick Stewart ever have hair? This was 25 years ago. Wait, how old is he?

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:07:55 – Um… you just described Santa Claus.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:08 Stewart’s character about a child murderer in solitary: “He’s been naughty.”

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:09:10 – *You* want to hypnotize him. But you’re an astronaut!

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:10:30 – Nobody kiss Jean-Luc Picard!

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:11:00 – We have suddenly entered a DELIVERANCE moment.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:11:55 – They’re calling her the “girl creature” now. I can live with that.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:13:42 oh she speaks… But from where?!

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:13:50 – If it won’t let you talk, why are you talking?

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:14:00 Who knew Patrick Stewart could scream that loudly? Goody, more drugs.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:14:30 – Jean-Luc Picard’s screaming just woke up @carcarr819. That’s acting for you.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:15:35 no don’t do it… Ahhh… No… Sto… Ahhh

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:15:38 “I am t/feminine in your mind.” So she’s like his perfect woman or t/female version of himself? Huh?

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:15:45 – This movie has more people yelling at each other than an episode of IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:17:20 – And he broke the rule… he kissed Jean-Luc Picard. So European.

kevincarr: @FyodorFish I think they’re saying that when you picture the perfect woman, you think of Patrick Stewart. #lifeforcetweet

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:18:00 Getting a RAIDERS OF T/LOST ARK vibe from this scene (light show).

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:18:34 oh we have another Captain Obvious.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:19:25 T/obligatory “Oh sh*te, we are so fcuked” scene. And yeah, they are.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:19:55 – A helicopter + Big Ben + a full moon = big budget movie.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:19:56 that’s more like half a foot below the heart.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:20:50 – I’ll bet this professor never thought he’d ever have this conversation.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:21:00 Dr. Exposition makes a return engagement. Oh and lead swords? Where did that come from?

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:21:30 – What’s incredible is that pastel pink and blue tie you’re wearing.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:22:00 Talk about a memorable demise. Unconvincing Stewart head puppet, though.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:22:30 the music haha

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:22:40 – That blood sculpture can’t be sanitary.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:23:40 when was it ever spritual and not lust?

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:24:00 – This movie has more flashbacks than an episode of LOST.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:24:00 Oh good. Another flashback scene. Energy exchange w/o a condom. Not good, not good at all.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:24:40 – I’ll give Tobe Hooper credit. He returns to the naked “girl creature” enough to keep me interested.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:25:45 – Oops. Someone opened the Ark of the Covenant.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:27:00 – Would this count as cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria?

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:27:00 Hey, how did a zombie scene get into LIFEFORCE? Wait, was that a nun? [Shrugs his shoulders, keeps watching.]

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:28:00 – The British are so polite. Offering a cup of tea while the world is ending outside.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:29:00 Was that a shout-out to Dickens and Great Expectations (e.g., Miss Haversham)?

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:29:20 – Now we can finally justify that awesome action score we had during the opening credits.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:30:00 Admirable use of a flare pistol.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:30:15 – Flare pistols make awesome apocalyptic weapons. If you don’t believe me, watch THE ROAD.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:30:45 It’s a giant umbrella run!

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:32:15 – “Sterilization by thermonuclear device has been approved.” That’s polite British-speak for “We’re nuking London!”

FyodorFish: RT @kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:32:15 – “Sterilization by thermonuclear device has been approved.” That’s polite British-speak for “We’ …

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:33:00 – This guy could declare anything and say “Because I feel it.” Like, “I need to bang Bo Derek ‘cause I feel it.”

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:33:20 Yep, t/giant umbrella is a collector, a giant soul collector (all those blue lights going up to t/clouds)

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:34:10 – Mathilda May suddenly is wearing clothes. And I have suddenly lost interest in this movie.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:34:45 – So we go through the whole movie, and it all boils down to Carson saying, “I need to f*ck her to save the world.”

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:36:54 oh yay he’s arrived…

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:37:35 – Can I lend you a hand/

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:38 It’s Carlson, not Carl-Carlson. Just sayin’.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:39:10 – Now it’s time to bang the hot chick to save the world. Where is Ralph Furley when you need him?

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:39:29 I’m waiting for him to freak…

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:42:20 – And his soul just flew out of his butt. Nice touch.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet explode was my second guess!

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet uhh what happens when everyone is a zombie? After 2 hrs? Everyone is dead or can they feed off each other?

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:41:55 she’s dressed now? What’s the point?

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:42:10 Poor Dr. Exposition. We hardly knew him.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:44:00 T/cathedral? Really? That’s just as wrong as t/first time I made t/comment hours and hours ago.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:44:50 T/web of destiny, genesis, lifeform? Okay, t/writers were just making sh*te up at that point (or earlier).

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:44:55 – I’d be more interested in what she had to say if she were still naked. (Yeah, I’m a pig that way.)

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:45:45 who? What? Remember 2 inches below (@ least 6 but who is counting).

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:46:00 – That was nice and convenient of that burning building to fall right on the crazy hoard of zombies.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:46:40 – This movie has officially gone bat-shit crazy.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:46 Fast zombie idea? Yeah, stolen from LIFEFORCE.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:47:50 – We need Ray Parker Jr. singing a song right now.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:49:00 – The bat is back.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:47:48 thanks for explaining that. Continue.

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:49:45 awww how sad. He totally killed his alien soulmate!

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:49:50 “What are these feelings? Why do I feel so close to you?” “Because you’re one of us.” WTF x infinity.

StellarReviews: RT @FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:49:50 “What are these feelings? Why do I feel so close to you?” “Because you’re one of us.” WTF x infinity

StellarReviews: #lifeforcetweet 1:50:20 The END.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:51:05 – To quote HEATHERS… “Why’d you have to kill such hot snatch?”

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:51:39 Sex really does equal death, especially when a giant lead sword is involved.

FyodorFish: #lifeforcetweet 1:52 And t/ship flies away, human souls as cargo intact (to feed t/remaining space vampires?). And roll credits.

FyodorFish: Just wanted to thank @kevincarr @StellarReviews @Siblings_at_Law for humoring me and joining the #lifeforcetweet tonight.

kevincarr: #lifeforcetweet 1:52:20 – And ROLL CREDITS!

kevincarr: Final thoughts on LIFEFORCE – Awesome premise; sometimes clunky in its storytelling, but plenty of boobs. #lifeforcetweet

Follow Kevin on…

The ‘Flash Gordon’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 15:27:25 +0000

On December 5, Kevin was joined by @FyodorFish, @StellarReviews, @mychaleg, @Regi_S, @Siblings_at_Law and @carcarr819 to live-tweet the 80s camp-fest Flash Gordon, discovering the savior of the universe. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure. (Please note there were some time-code issues during this live-tweet, so forgive certain things being a little out of order.)

mychaleg: @kevincarr i’ll just repeatedly hit a low A on my piano keyboard, like the beginning of the theme song until #flashgordontweet kicks off

mychaleg: http://twitpic.com/scq5l – what ya’ll know about that? #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 00:30 – Why are there no clouds whatsoever on Planet Earth?

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:17 he likes to play before killing everything.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 00.35 Who knew “Earth” had so many syllables? I sure as heck didn’t.

mychaleg: oh shit, time to get hype #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 01:20 – Flash! Ah-hah! Savior of the Universe!

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 00.39 And Earth has no clouds. Dino, you cheap bastard.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 01:42 So that’s where DC and Marvel got t/idea to use actual comic book panels.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:51 the music is making me wanna watch Rocky Horror. Just sayin.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 01:55 – Did Queen just declare Flash to be “a miracle” and “king of the impossible”? They’re setting the bar kinda high.

mychaleg: fun fact: Brian May wrote the lyrics and music for the theme song #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 02:55 – Lyrics: “Flash! He’ll save every one of us.” Erm… is that a spoiler, Queen?

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 4:17 Hot Hail? Sweet! Can I get some of that!?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 03:40 – What exactly is “hot hail”? Sounds like a failed rapper’s name.

mychaleg: “HOT HAIL” would be a good band name #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 5:29 the shag van rocks.

kevincarr: @mychaleg Excellent new avatar! #flashgordontweet

carcarr819: My boys getting ready to watch and live tweet Flash Gordon. #flashgordontweet http://twitpic.com/sctzt

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 6:10 Hot Hail = Lava rocks?!

mychaleg: damn, Flash has a cooler t-shirt than mine #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 03:05 I have to admit: I really, really dig the title song. Could sing it to myself for days.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 05:50 – I’m actually pretty surprised that the FAA let the plane take off in a hot hail storm.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 03:52 So there’s a “hot hail” button on t/weather/natural disaster manchine too? Apparently so.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 7:10 you share. 4 seat plane with a stranger? Lol

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 04:46 That, ladies and gents, was Robbie Coltrane essaying airport mechanic no. 1.

mychaleg: Flash you handsome, suave bastard #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 07:25 – This is all just an elaborate hoax to get Flash laid.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 05:42 “Nothing serious…just some clear air turbulence” (said moments b/f being sucked out of t/plane).

mychaleg: 08:30 are those touch screen OLEDS? Zarkoff got some sweet tech! take that Tony Stark #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 09:15 – “Our moon is being subjected by some enormous force from outer space.” You mean like Rosie O’Donnell?

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 10:42 that’s awesome he ran away with a gun pointed at him!

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 06:21 True fact: actor playing Flash: not a blonde. Actor playing Dale: really a blonde.

Regi_S: Not only am I the Jets QB but I’m also a pilot #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 11:57 start hitting buttons when in doubt. Works all the time!

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 10:30 – I am totally getting a cool t-shirt that says “KEVIN” in a wicked-awesome font.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 07:50 “Check t/angular vector of t/moon.” Say what?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 11:20 – Both Flash and Dale look constipated. That’s real acting for ya.

mychaleg: your flying lessons didn’t get as far as landing? what are you, some kinda terrorist #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 11:55 – And John Denver makes another perfect landing.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 08:30 Moon out of orbit and no one else has noticed? NASA? Soviets? Chinese? Anyone w/a telescope?

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 12:46 he ran away again with a gun pointed at him then came back to tell him to be careful lol

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 12:10 – “let’s get out of here before she blows.” I like to wait until *after* she blows, personally.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 07:50 “Check t/angular vector of t/moon.” Say what? (via @FyodorFish) lol

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 09:20 Wow, he built a rocketship inside his greenhouse. Now exactly practical that Zarkov, is he?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 10:14 Bad time for t/pilots to go on break.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 14:40 the moon would make it to earth to kill us? Ok.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 10:50 Wow, was that a stock sound cue? Indeed, it was.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 15:45 why does he still have the gun?

mychaleg: 14:32 o no you hit the fireworks button #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 14:15 – It’s generally bad form to shoot a gun in a rocket.

Regi_S: #flashgordontweet seems like there would have been a safety over the ignition switch so a head butt wouldn’t launch you

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 16:36 why is having difficulty moving/talking but the woman looked unconcerned and bored?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 11:30 Ironclad story logic: Flash a+ Dale crashing into Zarkov’s greenhouse.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 15:30 – More constipated acting.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 16:30 – Let’s head for that giant anus in space.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 18:00 those are some sweet glasses.

mychaleg: 16:30 she’s hot? in space? #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 16:50 – I wonder if they’re going to meet Starbuck in that big swirling vortexx.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet PS – are they in a lava lamp?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 17:45 – They’re landing in the Land of Dairy Queen.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 14:00 Just got a BLACK HOLE vibe from that greenhouse shot. Okay, mind wandering. Focus, focus.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 19:40 yes you’re back home.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 18:30 – They’re being detained by a troop of Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 19:55 hahaha that was an awesome from flip. Or whatever you wanna fall it.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 19:10 – Man, Dale’s a bit of a cling-whore. She’ll cling to anyone near her.

mychaleg: 19:30 we’re about to see the best Destro mask EVER #flashgordontweet

Regi_S: #flashgordontweet 18:19 was Flash just coping a feel on Dale

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 21:08 I love that aliens all speak English!

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 16:00 So there’s a black hole right outside earth orbit? But it’s made out of paint dyes?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 20:05 – There’s a reason they didn’t linger too long on that lizard man.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 20:35 – Zapped Zarkov’s gun. That looks like it stung a tad.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 21:00 – Was that Doctor Doom?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 17:25 One of Fellini’s collaborators, Danilo Donati, handled t/art design, production design + costumes.

mychaleg: 20:58 BOOM! my man shows up #flashgordontweet

mychaleg: 22:00 damn that is the biggest piece of rock candy i’ve ever seen #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 22:40 – “No one dies in the palace without a command from the Emperor!” What if someone has a stroke?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 19:00 Getting a DUNE vibe. Not surprising. Dino De Laurentiis produced both flicks.

mychaleg: 23:05 don’t worry hawkman, your daughter never shows up in the movie again #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 25:20 die for no reason and prove you are loyal.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 20:00 Yes, t/Hawk Men, led by t/eyeline wearing, bearded Vulcan, have arrived.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 24:10 – These kingdoms and tribes of Mongol may be at war, but they look faaaaabulous doing it.

mychaleg: 24:45 of course, black man gotta die. typical #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 20:50 Ming’s costume weighed 360 pounds (slight exaggeration).

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 25:00 – “This Ming’s a psycho.” Erm… brilliant dialogue, Flash!

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 25:20 – Princess Aura and Dale are the 2 big (or rather 4 big) reasons to see this movie.

Regi_S: #flashgordontweet 25:45 Don’t remember you at all when Princess Aura is in the room

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 25:40 – Princess Aura has an oompah-loompah. I want an oompah-loopah too!

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 28:08 how exactly, do you hide a planet?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 22:00 So do you think FLASH GORDON helped or hurt Timothy Dalton’s career?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 26:55 – No one can resist Emperor Ming’s Cracker Jack ring!

mychaleg: “hurling your bodies out into void, without the slighest inkling of who or what is out there.” 1st line i ever memorized #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 17:30 – Apparently Dale likes big butts, and she cannot lie.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 28:48 All of the universe’s abilities go into a ring to control women. LOL

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 28:05 – “Prepare her for our pleasure.” That’s the first line *I* ever memorized.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 23:45 Mongo-lites bleed blue blood it seems.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 30:39 they have a ring that controls women but no weapons?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 28:45 – Ugh. Football. Ugh. I can now fight. Ugh.

Regi_S: #flashgordontweet Shouldn’t there be a pile of bodies in front of Vultan

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 31:50 human bowling, who wants to try it?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 24:30 Yeah, t/pet human’s name was named Fellini (who turned down directing FLASH GORDON).

mychaleg: 30:00 i LOVE this riff #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 29:55 – That Melody Anderson “Go Flash Go” shot totally confused me as a child when I saw this in the theaters.

carcarr819: #flashgordontweet 28:59 And you thought being t he football star wouldn’t come in handy in “real life”. Who knew you’d need a watermelon?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 30:40 – FYI… Princess Aura’s oompah-loompah is played by future oompah-loompah Deep Roy.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 33:25 hahaha they kiss and then he calls her a lying b*tch, still embraced.

mychaleg: 31:20 hey…I’M on Ming-o Mean Time #flashgordontweet

mychaleg: you lying bitch #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 25:42 Just noticed Flash and Dale are color coordinated (reds and whites). Must say Ming is one kinky dictator.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 32:05 – Flash is decked out in his HOSTEL helmet.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet @carcarr819 just snorted at the sight of the lizard people. I can’t say I disagree with her.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 30:40 – FYI… Princess Aura’s oompah-loompah is played by future oompah-loompah Deep Roy. (via @kevincarr) was gonna say

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 33:35 – those lizard people kinda look like they have vaginas for faces. yeah, I said it.

mychaleg: 33:41 the old man in the background was later in extra in a Metallica video #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 28:00 Wow, who knew Flash’s football skills would be this handy? “Go, Flash, Go” will be my new motto.

StellarReviews: 36:20 yes waste time trying to turn over sand goin upward.#flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 35:00 – Meh… I liked Aura’s earlier costume better.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 35:40 – This scene could be spliced right into ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW, and few would even notice.

mychaleg: so many Halloween costume ideas going down in this movie #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 36:25 – Ew… Flash has Angelina Jolie-style veins on his arms.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 30:00 Mingo Mean Time: ha. Damn, Barin’s one cold, cruel, jealous bastard.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 37:00 – And Flash is poinsoned… The end.

mychaleg: 36:50 die to these relaxing guitar licks #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 39:42 Earthling tombstones.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 37:50 – Was Scooby Doo the sound designer on this movie?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 31:25 “Bring in the emperor’s concubine.” I like t/ring of that.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 41:18 why is there a mirror in casket?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 38:55 – Wow. That’s a whole lotta Flash for such a tiny screen.

mychaleg: 38:30 they put a MIRROR in the casket. if it was lit and he was being buried alive, that would be GANGSTA #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 32:30 Touching, pre-execution scene. By “touching” I mean not at all.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 39:40 – Zarkov is apparently the prisoner of Mr. Goldfinger.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 40:20 – No, Dr. Zarkov… I want you to… die!

mychaleg: 40:30 so this is where Micheal Stipe got the idea to wear so much eyeliner #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 34:00 So on Mongo, you’re forced to wear leather short-shorts for your execution? Talk about embarrassing.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 43:28 they are gonna empty his mind AND his pockets? Why the pockets?

mychaleg: 41:40 this sequence should be part of classic film canon. i think it’s one of the best in cinematic history #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 35:45 W/t hero dead, guess FLASH GORDON’s ending early or will need to be retitled, stat.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 42:20 – Why does Zarkov have memories of Hitler in black and white?

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 45:02 acting out sex scenes from your memory? … Ok.

mychaleg: “please don’t flash any memories of me jerkin off” #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 37:00 So Flash is Sleeping Beauty? And Aura? Not sure what’s her deal. She looks good in red, though.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 44:10 – There’s something totally erotic about Aura teaching Flash how to fly. I want a flying lesson from her too!

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 44:35 – That’s really not much of a planet.

mychaleg: 44:30 whoa…they were in the Avatar trailer for a second #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 47:33 he’s gonna show her what gang… I mean team up means.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 45:00 – Apparently this flying lesson includes a lap dance.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 38:55 Wow, Ming, way to go heavy on t/eye-liner. Didn’t get enough sleep last night?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 46:10 – Wow. Dale really likes her green erotic booze.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 48:58 you need a machine for telepathy?

mychaleg: 46:16 i never noticed how ballah Flash’s jacket is #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 50:09 is this where that annoying “touch my temple to think” came from?

mychaleg: 47:25 i have to touch my fingers to head to think #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 47:50 – Flash is neglecting to mention the Princess Aura tongue bath.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 41:00 Wow, that mega-mind wipe machine takes you all t/way back to your birth? Who remembers that?

mychaleg: got these ladies drinkin out a broken glass #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 50:00 – They have flaps on rocket ships?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 43:20 “Secret pleasure moon”? I’m all for it, but Flash, he’s loyal to Dale, who he met hours earlier.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 50:20 – Ming is ready to get his freak on.

mychaleg: 50:20 Ming took him a liberal dose of Ming-agra #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 54:10 I’m so glad fight scenes are better these days. Especially with women!

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 44:00 “It’ll make you not mind remembering.” Damn, so Ming’s a lousy lover then.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 51:45 – Little known fact: There was a gold paint shortage in 1980 after this set was manufactured.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 43:20 “Secret pleasure moon”? I’m all for it, but Flash, he’s loyal to Dale, who he met hours earlier. (via @FyodorFish)HA

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 45:00-46:00 Telepathy conversation = pure hilarity. “We have to stop thinking to each other.”

mychaleg: 52:37 activating Zarkoff looking more like just calling him #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 53:30 – Dale is pretty much rock stupid. Does she not notice Zarkov wearing Ming’s threads?

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 57:01 initiated by other men?! That’s what it sounds like.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 57:48 she loves them. Sounded like she would.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 47:30 Has a big-budget movie ever had visual effects as poor as FLASH GORDON? I think not.

mychaleg: Arboria is the most latently homosexual bromantic planet i’ve ever seen #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 54:20 – Meanwhile at the Ewok village!

Regi_S: #flashgordontweet 56:00 He went and stuck it in the wrong hole

carcarr819: #flashgordontweet Looks like they’re all wearing Peter Pan costumes? Coincidence? i think not.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 59:10 spare me the madness of the the green.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 56:10 – There’s Richard O’Brien,people.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 49:30 Digging Dale as an action heroine. And hey, slave girl costume. Lucas had to get t/idea somewhere, right?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 57:00 – It’s a good thing Aura’s such a slut, or Flash would have never survived.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet he knew she was in to necrophelia?! Gross.

mychaleg: 58:00 it doesn’t look like he’s really enjoying that kiss. i’m telling ya – Arboria is mano a mano #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 59:00 – This scene is strangely reminscent of WATERWORLD

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 52:00 Sacred initiation ritual? Or circle jerk? Can’t tell which from t/sound of it. Oh right, “test of manhood”.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 59:30 – Whoa! How did we get to the whipping of Aura? I feel I missed something awesome here.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:03:18 she calls them perverted? Ha.

mychaleg: 1 hour mark pwnage! “bring me…the bore worms” #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:00:10 – No! Not the bore worms! Not happy Birthday! Anything but Happy Birthday!

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:01:20 – Looks like Riff-Raff’s riff-raff was hanging on his left a bit.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 54:00-55:00 That was one gnarly ritual. Thanks, but no thanks. Wow, Barin can barely keep his jealousy in check.

mychaleg: 1:01:00 look sensually he takes that flute out of his mouth #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:02:15 – Are they going to save the sleestaks in the cage with Flash?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 57:00 Barin really, really doesn’t like Flash. Oh but hey, S&M scene w/Princess Aura and that female general.

mychaleg: 1:03:00 i always expect a greased up halk naked Sting to show up in this scene #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:08:26 he’s up… The creek?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 57:35 “No, not the bore worms!” Dig t/table restraints. They’re…hands..

mychaleg: 1:04:50 “where are the weapons?” “feel one,” as i jab a knife against your back, much like i would jab my…Arboria i say #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:06:00 – James Bond isn’t brave for putting his hand in the stump, but rather for pulling off that woven shirt.

mychaleg: 1:07:00 i’ve altered the rules. pray i don’t alter them any further #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:07:55 – Why is a NY Jets football player so good at hand-to-hand combat with swords?

mychaleg: 1:08:37 uh oh – hope there aren’t any ROUS’s in that swamp #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:01 Best flying scene since…since….since…I’ve got nothing.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:09:00 – I sure hope Flash’s fabulous blond hair doesn’t drown.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:12:50 what is it and why is it grunting?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:02 “Gordon’s alive!” Best line reading by a Hawk Man, ever.

mychaleg: 1:09:50 that creature was straight out of a Cronenberg flick #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:02:46 It’s wood beast time. “Beast lies somewhere in t/stump. Choose a passage.”

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:13:50 16…? What? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Ok 16 nap is long enough?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:11:30 – Did those Hawkmen just do a double-take to each other?

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:15:25 woah woah what?! They’re kissing? For their kids? Engaged? Where was I???

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:12:20 -So Dale’s moving a bit fast for my tastes. She’s known Flash for about 21 hours.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:13:00 – I so want a gong in my house. Then I could have people come over and fight to the death.

mychaleg: Hawk Man has the DIRTIEST legs #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:06:20 Gloves on Barin: highly impractical (like everything else in FLASH GORDON).

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:07:00 Attack of t//Great Bladder Beast!

mychaleg: 1:15:00 the 14 hours to save the Earth line was ripped off by Anna Faris’s character in FAQ About Time Travel #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:16:30 – “What is this?” “Humanity!” “Madness!” Hear hear!

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:16:40 – Did Flash and Barin just become BFFs? Just like in STEP BROTHERS.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:09:18 Cue Flash and Dale’s love theme. Sweet, isn’t it? “Save it for our kids.” Way to warm up her ovaries, Flash-O.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:20:57 she’d never find torture enjoyable.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:18:20 – They’re learning about teamwork… just like THE WONDER PETS.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:10:00 And t/gloves come off, literally, in a battle to t/death.

mychaleg: 1:18:30 NOOOOOO my favorite character #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:19:10 – I don’t think Brian Blessed can deliver any line without sounding like he’s got a mouthful of turkey and giblets

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:22:21 they’re gonna fly to… Another planet?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:20:00 – There’s a lot of talk about being blown to atoms, but I haven’t seen any of that yet.

mychaleg: 1:20:07 we just happened to have a perfectly placed spy camera trained on Zarkoff #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:10:00 “Give me the remote control.” 7th best line in FLASH GORDON.

mychaleg: 1:21:00 wtf is in your shirt, Ming #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 12:32 figures. I knew he wasn’t the pleasing type!

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:12:30 “What is this?” “Humanity.” “Madness!” Brian Blessed, best ham actor of his generation.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:25:37 when he said blast I thought he meant at once not several.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:23:25 – Quick, Flash! Get in the Fantasticar!

mychaleg: 1:23:15 you’re not a sci-fi hero until you’ve slid down a metal industrial shaft of some sort! #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:26:20 she loveD him. Not anymore? Oh right, it was only for a 86 minutes.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:15:15 Best.Death.Scene.Ever.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:27:27 oh now he want to help?!

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:24:35 – I don’t think I’ve ever seen Brian Blessed in anything where he couldn’t use a shower.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet and what was that girl doing with her hand? Oh chick fight! Best fight so far! Nice.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:25:20 – Yay! Princess Aura is thrown into the lesbian slave pit. And pillow fight!

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:28:48 I would have said Bore Worms? Not the Bore worms!!!

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:26:30 – “My father always drinks a power potion before he makes love.” Would that be Mongo Viagra?

mychaleg: 1:26:00 i also drink a power potion before i make love. it’s called ‘Zima’ #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:29:40 joyous time? Getting married to a psycho?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:18:40 So death or a kingdom and FLASH GORDON picks death. I’d chose t/latter, no question.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:28:10 – pwtoo! pwtoo!

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:30:30 no aim at all? They had a big target on Earth in the beginning, right?

mychaleg: 1:29:00 those are the most laid-back fighter pilots ever #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:20:10 That model must have cost De Laurenntiis a whole $1.99.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:21:00 “Flying blind in a rocket cycle.” 8th best line in FLASH GORDON.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:30:35 – We just swerved into the sountrack to THE NEVER-ENDING STORY.

mychaleg: second wave: DIIIIVE #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:33:30 they are flying in a straight line? They have the advantage or could have you’d think. Juke even?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:31:50- Well, if you’re going to haev a massive space battle with Hawkmen and dudes in gold lamme pants, you should rock!

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:33:15 – I’ll bet that Brian Blessed rocked the hell out of parties in his day.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:24:00 “What do you mean Flash Gordon on a rocket cycle?”

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:36:00 I’m fine I was faking.

mychaleg: 1:33:30 Flash; sorry to be tardy to the party #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:33:45 – John Kerry Hawkman: “They just winged me.” Nice pun.

mychaleg: 01:30:35 as you can plainly see in this footage, John Kerry clearly earned his Purple Heart #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:37:10 those guys remind me of Indiana Jones temple people and planet of the Apes offspring.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:38:19 prime # of what?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:36:00 – I’ve changed, if that’ll get me in Aura’s pants.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:27:10 Who knew t/word “dive” had so many syllables? Okay, right, I used that line already.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:37:00 – I’m pretty sure that if the moon is 3 minutes close to Earth, there’s already been some irreprible damage.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:39:18 their wedding music is played by electric guitar? LOL.

mychaleg: 1:30:50 good thing your alien number system is exactly like a human’s #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:37:35 – This is awesome. How did Ming manage to get Queen to play at his wedding?

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:41:17 rational transaction. Nice.

mychaleg: 1:39:00 Hawk Man has never had to grit his teeth for so long before #flashgordontweet

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:40:25 – Ouch. He’s going to feel that in th emorning.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:42:28 was that what a router looked like back then?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:40:50 – Boring conversation, anyway.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:30:00 Too many Hawk Men died in that battle, too many.

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:43:50 Empress of the hour? Haha.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:42:20 – “Do you promise to not blast her into space, until such time you grow weary of her?” I like dem wedding vows.

mychaleg: PEW PEW PEW #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:45:13 I seriously wanna watch ROCKY HORROR after this. At some point. One day.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:43:40 – pwtoo! pwtoo!

mychaleg: 1:43:00 somebody is about to get impaaaaled #flashgordontweet

p3wp3w: (@mychaleg) PEW PEW PEW #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:34:00 Dig t/banner “Under Pain of Death.”

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:45:40 I thought this was suicide? Ok.

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:45:25 – And the clock runs out, and the earth i crushed by the moon. The end.

mychaleg: “have a nice day” lol #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:47:25 oh wow. And the hawk get general for being a chicken?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:45:50 – “Have a nice day”? That’s what we get before the CHIPs still image?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:37:00 So General Kala is a long-lost cousin of the Wicked Witch of the East?

mychaleg: “he’s just a man that can never fail” especially when Hawk Men do the bulk of the fighting #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet 1:48:57 THE END!

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:47:20 – The End… or is it?

kevincarr: #flashgordontweet 1:47:35 – And ROLL CREDITS!

StellarReviews: All music created by QUEEN – Available on records and tapes. #flashgordontweet

mychaleg: my parents had this soundtrack on cassette. wish i still had it now #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:40:00 I was really hoping for a Flash and Ming to go mano-a-mano. Still, dramatic justice, right?

mychaleg: gahdamn i love this movie #flashgordontweet

StellarReviews: #flashgordontweet that was… I don’t know. What did I just watch again?

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:42:00 Voltan seems genuinely happy to be named general of Barin’s armies. No, no sexual innuendo was meant.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet 1:43 Nice (and by nice I mean cheesy) touch: Hawk Men spelling “Flash” in t/sky.

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet And w/that, FLASH GORDON comes to an end. Deeply saddened sequels were never made.

kevincarr: Final thoughts on FLASH GORDON… Total 80s cheese but hella fun. I love it even more than when I first saw it. #flashgordontweet

FyodorFish: #flashgordontweet I think I fell in love w/FLASH GORDON all over again tonight. Well worth t/revisit.

kevincarr: Thanks to @FyodorFish @StellarReviews @mychaleg @Regi_S and @Siblings_at_Law for joining in on the #flashgordontweet

Follow Kevin on…

The ‘Cabin Fever’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:57:53 +0000

On December 4, Kevin was joined by @StellarReviews, @ThatStevenC and @carcarr819 to live-tweet the neo-horror classic Cabin Fever. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 00:30 – Rider Strong! The Taylor Lautner of this movie.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 00:50 – And Cerina Vincent. A very sweet girl… and totally hot.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet what has Rider Strong done since this? Damn

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:17 I’m bored… hehe jk.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 02:20 – Produced & Directed by Eli “Bear Jew” Roth.

ThatStevenC: @StellarReviews lol yes the opening credits are kinda lame #cabinfevertweet

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 2:38 Pretty first scene at least.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 03:10 – Also starring the woods from EVIL DEAD

StellarReviews: @ThatStevenC sorry couldn’t help it #cabinfevertweet

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 3:30 poor dead doggy!

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 03:55 – How long does it take to recognize a dead dog?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet a homeless guy in the woods. Awesome. awww and he is trying to wake up his puppy. #cabinfevertweet

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC Rider Strong was in the super-famous direct-to-DVD PULSE 3 #cabinfevertweet

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 4;00 No more fucking finals. That will be me in a week, only i won’t be dumb enough to go into the woods imediately after

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 05:10 – PANCAKES!

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 5:23 Didn’t TX Chainsaw teach us NOT to stop in mostly abandomed small towns of weirdos? Just curious.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 5: 45 creepy kid! I thought you were suppose to train your kids not to bite strangers. damn

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 5:53 That wasn’t the cat on her tongue.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 06:15 – A stream around back to wash your hand from the Dennis tetanus bite? Don’t they have a bathroom?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 6:38 He’s gonna sue a guy in the middle of no where? For What? That awesome hat?

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 6:45 sue the little bastard

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 7 min he seriously washed his hands in that stream Damn that’s beyond sick.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 07:10 – Would you wash your hand anywhere around that many flies? Where’s the Purell?

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 07:35 – When George Lucas & his flannel shirts retires and opens a general store.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 7:35 It’s gay Santa!

ThatStevenC: @kevincarr #cabinfevertweet I thought it was santa!

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 8:05 and the only warning they get to NOT go into the woods.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 08:35 – Oh, that’s what the rifle’s for. Do they have any n-word piss to go along with it?

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet “That’s for niggers” wow where the hell are we?

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 09:20 – I have to admit it… the nougat is a very good reason to steal a Snickers bar.

ThatStevenC: @kevincarr hell yeah snickers are tasty #cabinfevertweet

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 9:57 If I left my juice somewhere anywhere near there, I’d leave it there.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 10 :00 I left my apple juice back at the store, is this guy 3 years old lol

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 11:10 – It’s only a matter of time for Cerina to get naked. Awesome!

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 11:30 Damn these kids are horny.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 11:30 Oops.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 11:30 – @carcarr819 just realized that Rider Strong is in this movie. She’ll pass out when she sees what happens in an hour

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 12:20 – The loudest BB gun I’ve ever heard. Perfect for killing squirrels, gay or straight.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 12:15 it’s just a BB gun. No one can get hurt.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet that is an awesome looking bb gun

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 12:35 PS – The best way to pick up a chick is to take her on a week long trip and then corner her!

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 13:00 Rider strong is giving his I know we are good friends but I want to fuck you

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 13:20 – Thank you, Cerina.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 13:39 HAHAHA. Ok. Sorry. He likes it from behind.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 13:45 – I have no idea what she just did to him, but I sure hope she washes her hands before she makes dinner.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 13:45 boobs

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 14:20 – That’s a whole hella lotta Rider Strong armpit hair.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 14:30 Oh that was awkward, she must know he wants some

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 15:10 Wait! The blob!!! Oh, wrong movie.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 15:30 damn what a tease.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 15:30 – “Don’t be gay”? In response to a dude asking a girl if this is a date. She needs to buy a dictionary.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 15:41 Don’t be gay… Ha. Tease ‘em and leave ‘em.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 16:00 Ring of fire!

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 16:22 I told you the BB wouldn’t hurt!

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 16:30 oh shit I just shot a hobo!

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 16:55 He’s sick. Give him your hand.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 17:00 don’t cough on me you dirty hobo!

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 17:20 – Is that a Remington 30-06 BB gun?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 17:30 Oh wow drop the F bomb like 6 times in 10 seconds. Sweet.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 17:45 It’s smokey the clown! haha

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 18:15 – These kids have no frakking idea how to roast marshmallows.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 18:20 We love traumatic stories! Tell us now how you were traumatized.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 18:35 scary! a bowling alley

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 19:20 – We are suddenly flashing back to HOSTEL 3: BOWLING ALLEY.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 19:30 awesome story, this kind of crazy torture should’ve been in hostel

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 20:04 Disgruntled employee was a murderer? And that was his playground. Awesome.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 20:25 Eli Roth is one creepy bald dude

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 20:35 – The happy bald guy is @EliRoth

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 20:48 Bowling with organs looks fun.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 21:25 – A Q-Bert machine. I freaking loved Q-Bert!

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 21:28 Oh now I remember why I didn’t like this movie. FACED.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 22:00 Yeah he’s a professor of being a dog

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 22:20 – So is @EliRoth like Eddie Murphy in this movie, playing multiple roles… and smoking weed.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 22:38 A skater that smokes MJ? Who would have thought?

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet Grim is my skating name. what a loser lol

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet Let’s only drink beer for the rest of the trip. great idea

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 23:51 Bring the weed…haha.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 24:00 – This is subtle, but it kinda looks like Rider Strong brunsed in his pants.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 24:40 The fifth wheel is always the awesome guy.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 25:00 why didn’t we get to see the shower massage scene?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 25:06 PS – I forgot to tell you about the sick guy with boils everywhere who I shot.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 25:15 – When the bloody, coughing guy shows up at your doorstep… close the door!

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet or the dog masterbation scene.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 25:49 He’ll touch the SOAP… That’s not better then the creek in the back??

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 25:55 – He’s really concerned that the diseased homeless man is going to touch someone’s douche.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet He’s gonna come in and touch all our shit.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 26:38 let’s puke blood all over the cab and everywhere. At least he wasn’t inside!

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet lets beat the hobo to death with a baseball bat, then light him on fire, sounds lite Grand theft auto

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 27:17 STOP DROP AND ROLL. Not keep running in the woods.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 27:25 – Mysterious disease or not, I’m pretty sure these kids are stupid enough to kill themselves in the Four Seasons.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 28:18 Don’t touch me I wanna see the hobo.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 28:25 – A sleeping mask? I thought only old ladies wore those.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 28:30 who the hell honestly wears a sleep mask? I mean seriosusly?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 28:33 That makes reminds of @katyperry s song “you’re so gay”

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 28:46 The girl is gonna go get help while the boys fight.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 30:00 “it means your a fucking pussy.” What a dbag

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 30:25 – Next time I go camping, I’m bringing 17 Britta pitchers.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet Tasty! dead & diseased hobo in the water supply

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 30:42 What she meant was “I wanted him to come inside and puke blood everywhere, not otuside.”

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 30:45 – “That guy asked us for help. We lit him on fire.” You know, when you put it that way, it makes us sound like asses.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 31:26 People still drink water? Especially from the middle of nowhere.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 32:00 here drink this diseased water, it will make you feel much better. Why didn’t they bring bottled water?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 32:29 hahaha. I think she’s a little mad.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 32:50 this woman is the definition of a women I would not like to fuck.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 33:10 – I wouldn’t eat that meat, either… and I love meat.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 33:15 The animals are sick and I just slaughtered one, and put it’s blood all over my neck.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 34:20 The hobo has a family. He just likes being a hobo.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 34:30 Oh shit we killed Henry. I wouldn’t want to piss of this chick

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 34:40 – @carcarr819 has totally fallen asleep. I think I’ll wake her up for the Rider Strong sex scene later.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 35:01 HAHAHA. Was he really running like that? I know bleaching your hair might make you seem girly, but that run proves it

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 35:15 – She’s “going for help.” In a canoe. Is she hoping to get help from Sacajewea?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 36:07 Hello? Is anywhere here in this open field?

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 36:25 – That Cerina Vincent ass shot was totally stolen by the director of the Texas Chain Saw remake.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 36:40 All of a sudden she lost her courage. D*ck-nose?? lol

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 37:58 We heard about the problem you had here last night, and, well, no one wanted to come out last night.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 38:35 – I doubt this guy is even a real cop. I think that badge he’s wearing is made of chocolate.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 39:40 Every other word is party. After they just murdered a guy it’s time to drink more and party.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 40:15 – “Five pounds of dangling meat”??? That’s like 87 inches. Even on the outside, that’d be dangerous.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 40:20 WHAT TOWN? I didn’t see a town.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 41:07 You are so top priority you have to wait until tomorrow!

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 41:20 – Deputy Winston is strangely interested in the partying. I think he’s about 15 years old.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 41:30 You’re gonna call 911? From what phone? You just said you didn’t have a phone.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 41:50 any cop who rides a bike is clearly a loser lol

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 42:25 That bloody cab reminds me of the Pulp Fiction car.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 42:55 – Awwwww… puppy…

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 43:10 If your gonna hit it, hit it hard. smart thinking when you want to kill something

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 44:30 we get it. enough shots of a cup of water and gloomy music.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 45:12 Stay and cuddle.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 46:10 – Rider Strong’s motto: It’s not rape if she’s moving.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 46:25 at least wake her up b4 fucking her rider strong

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 47:00 – What is up with the John Carpenter STARMAN score to undderlay the date rape?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 47:20 He’s glad she’s finally letting him go there. But, Wait. The music changed! Wait.. what is that…

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 47:52 She went from ready to sick in 2 seconds flat.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 48:00 oh shit she’s got it! Time to put her in the shed and let her die

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 48:20 – It’s a shame that flesh-eating bacteria had to spoil Rider Strong’s a-rapin’ moment.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 49:40 Who needs help? We’ll just lock her in the shed.

ThatStevenC: @kevincarr #cabinfevertweet I wonder if it was a different kind of blood, would he have continued with the raping?

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 50:00 – So quarantining the infected after washing your hands in her blood seems to be a little late to the game.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 51:15 – Rider Strong continues to use the baseball bat in self defense of trucks that have been vomited on.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 51:15 If you’re scared, at least hold the bat right.

kevincarr: @ThatStevenC I’d like to think he has standards. #cabinfevertweet

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 52:10 What’s the point in making a run for it when there is only one chick in the way?

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 52:20 – The moral of the story seems to be that if you’re a tease, you’ll get locked up. It’s better to be a little slutty.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 53:10 – If Rider Strong starts wanking it, I’m punching the television.

publicjerkers: RT @kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 53:10 – If Rider Strong starts wanking it, I’m punching the television.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 53:15 Oops my friend’s dying but I wanted to stare at your hot wife.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 53:55 at least Rider wasn’t caught looking at the chick with his dong out!

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 54:00 Yea, the town will be so much safer with the wanna be werewolf girl biting people’s fingers.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 54:40 Oh now he’s gonna finally stand up almost an hour later.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 55:00 – They seem to forget that they could hike out of there.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 55:35 – Oh snap! He’s got a Ron Jeremey shirt on. That’s both awesome and really gross.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet oops. They forgot about their sick prisoner.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 56:24 I guess flesh eating diseases are not painful.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 56:30 – “I think I’ve got a fever.” Really?. What was your first clue?

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 57:00 oh shit everybodys starting to get sick, how did it get to his dick. probably 2 much jerking off in the woods

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 58:00 – That truck is getting the worst of everything.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 58:20 Well now he’s gonna leave everyone behind because he’s sick. No one wanted to go with him. LOL

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 58:25 – “Did that old guy touch you?” Naw, not in that way, pervs!

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 58:30 at least she didn’t have diarrhea all over the car

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 58:50 – “Oh god. She’s bleeding again.” I’m pretty sure she hasn’t stopped.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 59:25 we’re all abt to die but i can’t leave without my beers

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 59:30 I’m taking the beer since no one touched that and I’m outta here!

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:00:45 – If I’m ever on a plane about to crash, I hope I’m sitting next to Cerina Vincent.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:00:45 Really? that’s your last thought when you’re about to die?

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:01:25 – Literine as a male douche. That’s gotta burn.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet im abt to die, lets have sex!

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:02:00 – Awesome. There’s a DO NOT SIT NEXT TO DENNIS sign. I need one of those.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet Do that not remember the flesh eating disease??? Don’t worry about me? I think that would be my FIRST concern. Just saying.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:02:30 – PANCAKES!

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet PS – Alcohol will purify you from STDs and Flesh Eating Diseases.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:02:40 Look at that mullet.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 1:02 Pancakes! Why is the kid doing karate and yelling pancakes? lmfao

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:02:50 – What does pancakes have to do with karate moves? I have no idea, but it’s awesome!

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet you get my boy sick its the same as murder, yeah that makes a lot of since. dumb hillbilly

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:04:15 – “We’ll need the kit.” You mean they have a kit for taking care of cabins filled with diseased college kids?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:04:52 Aww the dirty girl. She knew what was gonna happen.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:05:24 here’s the lynching by the townfolk

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:05:41 Yep, that deputy was right! The whole town loves to party.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet this movie might set a record for saying the word fuck, oh wait its not a rob zombie film!

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:06:13 Yea, let’s climb down the poll into diseased water. that’s sooo smart.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:06:20 – When you see a dead body, you should poke it with a stick.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:06:45 Ewww he got it in his mouth!

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:06:50 – There are seriously not enough handi-wipes in the world that would get me clean from that.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 1:06 lets touch the dead guy in the water with a stick and then fall on him. great idea rider strong

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:07:15 now he needs a tub of Ajax, Bleach, and Purell.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:08:20 – Flesh-eating bacteria or not, there’s always a good reason to get Cerina Vincent naked in a bathtub.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 1:08 when I have a flesh eating disease, I’ll be sure to remeber to shave my legs!

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:08:03 Who shaved that way? Seriously? And keeps shaving though her skin is coming off. Doesn’t hurt.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:09:33 So you leave your only weapon? It just keeps getting better.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:09:40 – Guess what @carcarr819 is feeding the toddler right now… That’s right – PANCAKES!

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:10:15 – Awwww… poor puppy. Though he probably shouldn’t have eaten so many people.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:10:20 That dog is hungry!

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 1:10 at least she still has a great smile!

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:11:00 – Nothing says I love you like almost raping a childhood friend, then bashing her face in.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:12:39 Got him… Wrong guy. Oops now we’re all dead.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:13:10 and his nads keep getting bigger. at least Rider Strong is killing everyone now!

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 1:13 “It’s the water!” I think your abt a day too late to say that

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:14:00 – I’m taking my next vacation through Bunyan travels right after we travel to Eastern Eur with Bloodhound Hunting

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:14:15 Did he think he wasn’t going to get it after falling into the cess pool o’ flesh eating diseased body of water?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:14:27 Grim of course. That’s why he never brought the MJ back!

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:15:20 – Oh come one… that deer isn’t even real.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:15:31 Deputy meant underaged girls. No no no. tsk tsk.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:16:00 I wish they would make deer at least look like one.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 1:16 there seems to be a lot of blood on the windshield of cars

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:16:30 – Where did Deputy Winston find these hot chicks?

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:17:10 – I’m waiting for the Disney Channel cartoon “Deputy Winston Saves the World”!

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:17:11 haha underage booze party.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 1:17on no Rider is fucked

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:17:49 I can’t shoot him darnit.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:18:00 – Is the harmonica guy expecting to play him away like a Oscar speech that goes on too long?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:18:14 haha let me hold you down and puke blood on you.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:18:43 The underage party what are you doing!

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:19:05 – Yeah, I wouldn’t stop for him either.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:19:15 Where the heck did all these cars come from??

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 1:19 he should have puked on Winston for being such a shitty cop

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:20:00 – The Easter Bunny is a doctor at this hospital? Where did *he* get his medical degree?

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 1:20 since when did the easter bunny work in the ER?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:20:25 The only way I’ll recover is by dreaming of the girl I had to bash her head in. *sigh*

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:21:10 – I’m sure there could be an argument made for just nuking the whole town.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:21:40 party man. Party Party Party. Even after you bashed my head too.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:21:50 – Deputy Winston is the greatest character in this movie. He’s like Jim Parsons from THE SIGNAL.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 1:22 oh Winston, your setting such a great example by drinking and driving

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet Rider Strong says “Hey I killed my girlfriend and all I got was this lousy flesh eating disease.”

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:23:40 – I’ll bet he’s seriously reconsidering his decision to not buy any fox urine.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:23:40 WHY would you go back??? SERIOUSLY? Ugh.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:24:45… I left them alone and came back and their dead. I thought they’d bee all better.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:25:10 You made it… Back to the cabin to die your horrible death now. Idiot.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:25:45 – And just like Duane Jones at the end of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, so it goes.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 1;25 ouch I don’t know if I’d rather die from a flesh eating disease or by getting shot like 10 times by the cops.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:26:10 – Something tells me that Deputy Winston may have kept a couple pieces of Cerina Vincent for recreational use.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:26:20 Why call real authorities or, say, the CDC. Nah, we’ll just burn a few bodies and be ok.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:27:01 Sad thing is, I could totally see some idiot redneck hillbillies bringing down humanity.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:27:10 – That’s five cents to die. Enjoy the flesh-eating lemonade.

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet 1:27 the santa who hates black people is back!

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet uh oh 1:27:45 looks like he likes black people now. Gay old Santa.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:27:50 – One of the best racial punch lines in a movie ever made.

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:28:10 – And ROLL CREDTIS!

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:28:10 OMG Banjos. It’s over. YAY…

ThatStevenC: #cabinfevertweet I forgot santa liked black people!

kevincarr: #cabinfevertweet 1:28:45 – Now pardon me while I have a bottle of Down Home Spring Water… wait! What the F?

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet And they plagued the earth with flesh eating disease because we all wanted to drink clean, bottled water, not tap.

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet It had a great idea… But sadly, it was ruined by rednecks and stupid teenagers. Imagine that.

kevincarr: @StellarReviews Congratulations. You survived. #cabinfevertweet

StellarReviews: @kevincarr #cabinfevertweet haha… This time I wasn’t so mad. I laughed most of the time. ;~)

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet 1:32:07 Gay Santa said Word. WTF?

kevincarr: Final thoughts on CABIN FEVER… heavily flawed but still a bloodly lot of fun. Plus, I love Cerina Vincent, so it’s a win! #cabinfevertweet

StellarReviews: #cabinfevertweet Final thought on CABIN FEVER – It had the plot… If you watched it with no sound it’d be awesome. Gore is always good.

ThatStevenC: Final thoughts on Cabin Fever… a entertaining horror film with plenty of gore, boobs, alcohol and dumb college kids for everyone!

Follow Kevin on…

‘Prince of Darkness’ Live-Tweet Live Feed

Kevin Carr — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 01:00:37 +0000

‘Halloween 3: Season of the Witch’ Live-Tweet Live Feed

Kevin Carr — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 00:00:08 +0000

The ‘Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 16:32:54 +0000

On December 4, Kevin finished up his turkey leftovers when he was joined by @AronDej to live-tweet Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

kevincarr: Preparing to live-tweet GARBAGE PAIL KIDS: THE MOVIE with @AronDej. Pray for us. #garbagepailtweet

kevincarr: Turkey #14 is “GARBAGE PAIL KIDS: THE MOVIE,” the final leftover of my Thanksgiving gluttony. #kevincarrtweetsturkeys #garbagepailtweet

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 00:30 – Already 80s retro titles. God, was this cool at one time?

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 0:45 – This opening title is worse than XANADU’s.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 01:00 – MacKenzie Austin? Could be worse… it could be Mackenzie phillips.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 01:30 – Only in the Garbage Pail Kids Movie would the credits list characters like Lucy Vomit.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 02:00 Jesus. Its worse than I ever could have imagined. And we’re on;y 2 1/2 minutes it.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 02:20 – That looks like the escape pod from STAR WARS.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 0:3:10 – Is that a McDonald’s food storage can?

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 04:10 – These voices are already getting on my last nerve.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 04:30 – A pulsating garbage can. Poor Oscar

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 0:4:50 – These noises are absolutely vile.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 0:5:10 – And so is this…

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 05:15 – Bouncy bouncy!

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 05:55 – 20 somethings attack a 11 year old. Classy.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 06:00 – The image of street gangs in the late 80s are pertty terrifying. Mesh tank tops and all.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 6:25 – DEAR GOD. The worst laugh known to man!

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 06:30 – The street gang from @PeopleofWalmart folks.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 07:00 – “You smell like a fire hydrant”??? WTF?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 07:30 – “Have I ever forbidden you to touch any of my treasures?” Probably not… especially the ones in your pants

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 07:50 – And this has… what relevance to the plot?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 08:00 – So if they’re not supposed to touch the slimy garbage pail, why is it in the middle of the frakking room?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 08:40 – So he uses magic to wash clothes… not to heal the sick or feed the poor?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 10:00 – I’m pretty sure that Captain Manzini is a child molester.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 10:00 – Thank you for this completely irrelevant morality speech.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 10:30 – A prediction of the future? Pandora? Avatar = Garbage?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 10:40 – “Think of this as Pandora’s pail.” I’m thinking of this movie as Pandora’s DVD.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 11:06 – The girl in the blue leopard print leotard is called Tangerine. ‘Cause she’s a dream?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 12;15 – Ah, a hair sniffer. That’s not creepy at all.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 12:40 – Why is this street gang worried about this 14-year-old kid?

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 12:50 – You’re 14 and almost 15? Holy christ.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 13:35 – In the 80s, funky basketball tricks distracted people so you could hurt them and escape.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 13:45 – I haven’t seen fight choreography like this since CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 14:30 – Whoa, that’s a whole lotta thigh-ass to be stuffed into fishnets.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 15:10 – These people sure are going to extreme measures for a wimpy 14 year old.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 15:46 – Uh… does that seem like she was doing something else there?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 15:55 – So the sewer has direct lines to the City Zoo, the Dog Pound and the CIA? Diff’rent poops for diff’rent folks.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 16:40 – Oh god… help us… help us all.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 17:00 – A farting baby. That’s my review of the film… it’s a baby fart at best.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 18:00 – I think George Lucas should remaster this movie with digital garbage pail kids.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 18:20 – These things are just unbelievably disturbing looking.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 19:00 – Uh… could you EVER get that stuff? A shadow of your smile? WTF.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 19:35 – I don’t even think the puppets’ mouths are moving, let alone in synch.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 20:00 – So Nat Nerd is ugly, wears glasses and pees himself. Since when do nerds pee themselves?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 21:00 – Captain Manzini seems a little too eager to bathe the 14-year-old boy.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 21:54 – Um…… I’m pretty sure this is illegal.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 22:00 – 2nd fart joke of the movie. Includes boogers, urine and vomit jokes. EVen for me, this is a bit much.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 22:35 – “greed, painfulness” So ugliness is this movie.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 23:20 – You know, I’m not a shallow person, but if i met these things, don’t-judge-a-book-by-its-cover be damned.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 24:00 – Tangerine has yet to wear something orange. maybe she’s called Tangerine because that’s her cup size.

MrPookieBlack: @kevincarr What an odd choice for a holiday flick #garbagepailtweet

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 25:00 – This girl drives like I do.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 24:50 – As NC said, “Did she jst wait until nighttime 2 answer his question? Good luck playing password w/ this bitch”

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 25:40 – So the girl leading a life of crime is selling… clothes?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 26:30 – Tangerine is literally selling the shirt off her back. Can I buy the bra for $12?

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 27:04 – Oh yes I have seen bad. I’m watching this movie, aren’t I?

kevincarr: @MrPookieBlack Yeah, it’s my last Thanksgiving turkey. I’ll get my holiday movies set up this weekend on the FG site. #garbagepailtweet

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 27:40 – So this guy is her clothing pimp? He could learn a thing or two from Butters.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 28:20 – Wait what? How the hell does that even work?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 29:35 – I actually own a pair of heart boxers… only the hearts are smaller.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 30:00 – Can a Pepsi truck really flatten a car like that?

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 30:15 – That is quite possibly the worst joke I’ve ever heard.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 31:00 – Please… please make these voices stop.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 31:15 – The Garbage Pail Kids got hungover from eating hot dogs and drinking Pepsi? Erm… okay.

MrPookieBlack: You hear them too!? RT @AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 31:00 – Please… please make these voices stop.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 32:00 – My god. They make clothing uglier than themselves.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 32:00 – That looks like a Michael Jackson outfit. More child molester jokes, apparently.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 33:45 – So this movie uses clothes as a symbol for sex.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 33:55 – @kevincarr This makes the 30 somethings loving Taylor Lautner seem normal.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 34:40 – “Look out for Juice!” That’s the gang member’s name? Juice? Strikes fear in the hearts of 14-year-old boys.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 34:50 – Aww… she’s falling in love. What a pedo.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 36:00 – Holy crap nuggets. A musical number?

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 36:01 – NO… NO NO NO!!!!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 36:40 – The GPKs were originally made to spoof Cabbage Patch Dolls. And the movie gives a cutsie positive message. Lame!

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 36:40 -Even WAL-MART doesn’t deserve to be robbed by these monstrosities.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 37:40 – My god. Wait? Did I say that? I mean, No, there is no god. Its official.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 38:35 – So the moral to this movie is you should lie, cheat and steal to get the pretty slutty girl?

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 38:50 – Who came up with these awful names?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 39:00 – “How are things below stairs?” I’m only 50% sure he’s talking about the kids downstairs.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 39:30 – This is truly painful…

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 40:05 – I honestly feel really bad for this child actor. I’m betting he fell into a sea of drugs after this.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 41:30 – If I have to watch the pimply nerd wet his pants one more time, I’m going to punch the TV.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 41:35 – Yeah? Well, you’re the only one.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 42:30 – The Kids are dressed as French Resistance fighters. Those are supposed to be disguises, apparently.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 43:00 – Really? Nobody in the theater finds this bizarre in the least?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 43:30 – @carcarr819 just came into the room, looked at the TV and said, “I’m going to have to go before I barf.”

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 43:45 – They couldn’t even use the original music to the three stooges?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 44:30 – If I had a gun to my head and was forced to explain the plot… I would be shot in the head.

AronDej: @kevincarr Tell her she’ll at least be in good company with Valerie Vomit. #garbagepailtweet

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 45:35 – Ali Gator has a foot fetish, but he seems to only like those of 14-year-old boys and biker dudes.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 46:00 – I could swear I just saw @rejects among the patrons of this fake tough guy bar.

MrPookieBlack: @kevincarr A friend of mine has the entire set of GPK Trading Cards #garbagepailtweet

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 47:25 – This movie isn’t making a very good argument on not judging people based on their looks.

kevincarr: @AronDej Was he the one who got his mustache blown off with a fart? #garbagepailtweet

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 48:00 – So they’re drinking beer. Is this a kids’ movie? Now the GPKs ride with the Sons of Anarchy.

AronDej: @kevincarr Yup, I think that was him. Boy he sure didn’t look very different in the 80s, did he? #garbagepailtweet

kevincarr: @MrPookieBlack Has he seen this movie? It might inspire him to burn them all. #garbagepailtweet

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 50:00 – Why is it okay for this magician to keep kids trapped in a garbage pail anyway?

MrPookieBlack: @kevincarr He loves the movie. Go figure. #garbagepailtweet

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 51:30 – This movie is not above making poop a weapon of ass destruction.

AronDej: @MrPookieBlack Tell him he can DIAF. #garbagepailtweet

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 52:50 – I really do hope they all just die. I mean brutally die. Guts flying, bones being ripped out, everything.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 53:15 – The State Home for the Ugly? I’d support a place like that.

MrPookieBlack: @AronDej Not until he pays me back money he owes me. lol #garbagepailtweet

AronDej: @kevincarr I’d only support it if these were the things going in. #garbagepailtweet Other than that, its just horrible.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 55:00 – Why has no one noticed these ugly-catchers catching ugly kids with nets? This movie makes no sense.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 55:25 – Actually, it looks more like an inner city school. Which I guess is a prison, really.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 56:15 – Why is it okay for Dodger to make the GPKs manufacture his clothes, but is the State Home for the Ugly bad?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 57:20 – I’m pretty sure we’re watching something illegal now. How old is Tangerine, and what is she promising Dodger?

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 57:55 – Let me get this straight, you’d be willing to kill a 14 year old because he’s making ugly cloths with your GF?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 59:10 – This must be an unauthorized biopic of Kathy Lee Gifford.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 59:45 – I’d pretty much have the same reaction as her.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:00:30 – So now, instead of clothes being a metaphor 4 sex, Tangerine’s clothes scam is a metaphor 4 the record industry

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:01:00 – Would you buy clothes from a girl wearing a leotard with a traffic sign print?

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:01:01 – Wowwwwwwww. How did they even get away with that?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:01:55 – These aren’t even fart jokes. They’re just farts.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:02:40-With the kids drinking beer and playing doctor, plus the child molester undertones, I reject this as a family film

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:05:15 – A montage! Things seem much faster in a montage!

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:05:25 – Wow. That was the shortest montage in any movie ever.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:06:19 – Jesus christ almight. This woman is a W-H-O-R-E

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:06:45 – They’re going to sneak out as clowns? Like clowns at a fashion show are completely normal.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:07:50 – A 14 year old boy that’s more concerned about his friends than his penis? Blasphemy!

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:09:20 – If I could, I would take an axe to these hideous beings. I’m serious, if I ever saw one of this….

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:09:50 – Seriously? Another mesh tank top? I’ve gotta get one of those.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet …I’d rip it to freaking shreads!

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:11:25 – So two of the GPKs can defeat an entire biker gang, but all fo them can’t stop 3 mesh-wearing punks?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:12:15 – I’m pretty sure that’s a dude playing one of the runway models.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:12:17 – And your hair is any better?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:12:50 – So they pay for uglies at the State Home for the Ugly? @PeopleofWalmart would make a killing.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:13:20 – This is just terrible.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:13:45 – Why is Santa Claus in the State Home for the Ugly?

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:14:42 – OH MY GOD YES! That sounds awesome!

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:16:10 – So Dodger is on his way to becoming a gay back-up singer?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:16:50 – The clothes pimp ain’t happy with his bottom bitch.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:17:10 – Oh yeah, that’ll keep him down.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:18:25 – “I think we might be too late!” “But we can still get the bad guys!” This dialogue doesn’t even make sense.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:19:00 – They didn’t even make any sense.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:19:20 – “guava butter tones”? That’s a real color in the fashion world?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:21:25 – Not only do I hope the GPKs aren’t sprung from the State Home for the Ugly, I’m rooting for the guards.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:22:25 – Just when you think there have been too many farts in people’s faces, this movie takes it up a notch.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:24:00 – It’s good to see the Sons of Anarchy helping out the less fortunate.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:26:30 – What’s going on? Oh yeah, I don’t care.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:27:25 – The fashion show sequence in BRUNO was much funnier. Less snot. Less peeing of the pants. Less gay.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1;28:00 – This shall forever be known as the great fashion show brawl of 1987.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:28:35 – Seriously? More farting? Even I’m getting tired of it, and I love fart humor.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:28:45 – Pure class right there.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:29:10 – The production really blew their budget on that vomit effect. No wonder it took 90 minutes to get to it.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:29:19 – Is it me or did Tangerine seem to be enjoying that?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:30:25 – They seriously just dropped the “It’s not worth it” line when Dodger was beating up the bully.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:31:30 – “I don’t think you’re pretty any more.” Yeah, I’m into dudes now. Don’t you notice the sparkly bow tie?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:32:00 – How is the garbage pail any different from the State Home for the Ugly?

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:33:00 – This is just surreal.

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:33:18 – “Its ok dodger, I’ve been stuck in tighter places than this” Like Dodger’s ass?

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:33:25 – And the GPKs are released. Great moral!

AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:33:55 – Only a world hating monster would let those things roam the earth.

kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:34:00 – And ROLL CREDITS!

kevincarr: Final thoughts on THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE. Put it back in Pandora’s garbage pail! Too much bodily fluid humor, even for me!

kevincarr: A big thanks to @AronDej for joining in on the #garbagepailtweet. I hate you for recommending it.

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Kevin’s Live-Tweet of ‘The Adventures of Pluto Nash’

Kevin Carr — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 13:03:57 +0000

On December 2, Kevin finished up his turkey leftovers by live-tweeting The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

Turkey leftover #13 is “THE ADVENTURES OF PLUTO NASH,” a movie which was only released because of a guild strike. #kevincarrtweetsturkeys

PLUTO NASH 01:00 – Opening credits over a rap version of “Blue Moon.” Why?

PLUTO NASH 01:40 – Damn… there’s a lot of pretty big names in this movie. Blows my mind that no one figured it would suck.

PLUTO NASH 02:00 – Frank Capra III is a producer. Sins of the grandson, I guess.

PLUTO NASH 03:00 – Jay Mohr in a kilt, playing an acordion. Even worse than the rap version of “Blue Moon.”

PLUTO NASH 04:40 – “Am I supposed to piss in the kitchen?” This is some class-A dialogue.

PLUTO NASH 05:20 – Both WATERWORLD and this film begin with a scene in which the “hero” is peeing… coincidence?

PLUTO NASH 06:30 – It does seem that Eddie Murphy is trying to channel Axel Foley in space.

PLUTO NASH 07:25 – It’s a life-long dream of Pluto to have his own club. He should meet Gene Kelly and open a roller disco called Xanadu.

PLUTO NASH 08:45 – Seven years in the future now. Which means seven years in the future future. This is like a DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES episode.

PLUTO NASH 09:30 – I’m pretty sure these extras were right out of XANADU.

PLUTO NASH 10:20 – I guess the “karate chop” dance is the wave of the future.

PLUTO NASH 11:30 – Salt Lake City is a rough town in 2087. Yup, that’s the kind of jokes they throw down in this movie.

PLUTO NASH 12:05 – So everyone has a nick name in this movie. I guess it’s because Axel Nash spent time in the joint.

PLUTO NASH 14:00 – Oh balls! Randy Quaid as a bodyguard robot? This is their version of R2-D2 crossed with Chewbacca.

PLUTO NASH 14:50 – Wah Wah Wah Waaaaaah… Hilary Clinton on the money.

PLUTO NASH 16:00 – Oranges in a bowl on the table. Are they doing a GODFATHER thing? Something bad is going to happen… like the movie.

PLUTO NASH 17:35 – So the movie’s about Pluto trying to save his squeaky clean night club from being turned into a casino? WTF?

PLUTO NASH 18:15 – The direction to Randy Quaid was, “Walk like a Ken doll, please.”

PLUTO NASH 19:15 – I weep for Randy Quaid.

PLUTO NASH 19:50 – Andy Kaufman was a more convincing robot in HEARTBEEPS.

PLUTO NASH 20:15 – “You know how hard it is to get wood on the moon?” Was that meant to be a double meaning?

PLUTO NASH 21:00 – This movie has all the production value of a STAR WARS rip-off c. 1978, like BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS.

PLUTO NASH 24:10 – She called the robot a “toaster.” Could he really be a Cylon?

PLUTO NASH 26:00 – I am hopelessly bored with this movie right now. All this exposition with cloning talk is pretty hard to watch.

PLUTO NASH 28:40 – The pocket computer they just showed doesn’t even look as advanced as an iPhone.

PLUTO NASH 29:00 – And now we’re discussing Rosario Dawson’s ass. It’d be fine if we had a visual aid to go with it.

PLUTO NASH 30:50 – This movie is like a series of bad SNL sketches with an awful plot to string things together.

PLUTO NASH 32:55 – Jesus! Again with Rosario Dawson’s ass!

PLUTO NASH 33:10 – Pam Grier as Pluto’s mother. Even Jackie Browne can’t save this movie.

PLUTO NASH 34:30 – The set design looks like a larger version of Chuck E Cheese’s sky toobs.

PLUTO NASH 35:25 – An electric organ in the soundtrack? That doesn’t even make sense.

PLUTO NASH 38:20 – John Cleese??? Nooooooooooooo!

PLUTO NASH 39:25 – Was that “Trump Realty” sign supposed to be a joke or some bad business decision product placement?

PLUTO NASH 40:55 – So Pluto Nash has put Rosario Dawson to sleep. Funny… PLUTO NASH is putting me to sleep too.

PLUTO NASH 42:50 – So the soundtrack just uses any song with “moon” in the lyrics, even if they don’t make sense to the story

PLUTO NASH 46:00 – Alec Baldwin too? This cast is like a crappy animated film… loaded with names, all sucking wind.

PLUTO NASH 47:15 – Trying to concentrate on this plot is like trying to take a driver’s test with a BAC of 0.24

PLUTO NASH 48:45 – A happiness chip? Again, is this supposed to be a joke. It doesn’t even register as a joke.

PLUTO NASH 50:00 – So when are the “adventures” going to start in THE ADVENTURES OF PLUTO NASH?

PLUTO NASH 51:00 – Why do all the bad guys in their space suits look like they’ve just filled their diapers?

PLUTO NASH 53:15 – Science geek alert… The moon has only 1/6 gravity… not zero-Gs.

PLUTO NASH 55:25 – Stay on target!

PLUTO NASH 56:55 – “Die die, Pluto Nash.” My sentiments, exactly. If only.

PLUTO NASH 58:10 – There is really nothing in this movie that couldn’t be fixed with explosive decompression in the vacuum of space.

PLUTO NASH 1:00:20 – Will the main characters suffocate and die? We can only hope so.

PLUTO NASH 1:01:40 – It’s good to know that racial stereotypes are alive and well in 2087.

PLUTO NASH 1:03:00 – Who was it that decided that Luis Guzman recounting robot sex makes a funny scene? BOOGIE NIGHTS this isn’t.

PLUTO NASH 1:03:50 – Seriously? We have a battery connection on Randy Quaid’s junk?

PLUTO NASH 1:06:15 – I just got a snack. Did I miss anything? No. Missed nothing at all.

PLUTO NASH 1:07:45 – Randy Quaid’s hair looks like an Andy Warhol reject.

PLUTO NASH 1:08:50 – Luis Guzman has pretty low standards for his casino barflies.

PLUTO NASH 1:10:10 – And we come full circle with Jay Mohr’s character. Full circle, like spinning down the toilet drain.

PLUTO NASH 1:10:55 – Whoa! That’s a lotta ass for a thong that size.

PLUTO NASH 1:11:20 – I’m pretty sure I just saw Jay John’s reverse camel toe.

PLUTO NASH 1:12:15 – Watching Eddie Murphy kissing Rosario Dawson is like watching him drink from a juice box.

PLUTO NASH 1;13:30 – They don’t seem to realize that cloning someone doesn’t make the same personality.

PLUTO NASH 1:14:15 – “I know a way to get you in that penthouse.” Of course, it will involve lots of lubricant.

PLUTO NASH 1:15:40 – This jumping over the shaft scene reminds me of POSEIDON. Not in a good way.

PLUTO NASH 1:16:40 – Holy crap. Is that guy eating a moon pie? Seriously? Are the producers part of the Moonie cult too?

PLUTO NASH 1:17:40 – Randy Quaid’s wig is as effective of a disguise as Clark Kent’s glasses.

PLUTO NASH 1:18:30 – Poop nuggets! It isn’t an Eddie Murphy movie if he doesn’t play more than one character.

PLUTO NASH 1:19:20 – What was it about movies released in 2002 and clones. It’s like transforming robots in 2009.

PLUTO NASH 1:20:10 – One of the bad guys is named Mr. Kelp? Are we in an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants?

PLUTO NASH 1:20:50 – How many times are they going to do a reveal of two Eddie Murphys?

PLUTO NASH 1:22:00 – This movie is all about taking over a night club??? WTF? Who cares!?

PLUTO NASH 1:22:50 – For a movie that was a huge gamble and a failure, this movie has a really strong anti-gambling bent to it.

PLUTO NASH 1:24:50 – That is a pretty neat desk. I want one of those in my house.

PLUTO NASH 1:26:45 – Are we supposed to be happy that Club Pluto can continue with Rosario singing and people doing the karate dance?

PLUTO NASH 1:28:20 – Nothing like a robot condom joke to end this movie. 110 volts to 220. Lame.

PLUTO NASH 1:29:35 – And ROLL CREDITS!

Final thoughts on THE ADVENTURES OF PLUTO NASH… The movie did its part to prepare Eddie Murphy for MEET DAVE.

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Kevin’s Live-Tweet of ‘Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama’

Kevin Carr — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 10:15:31 +0000

On December 1, Kevin traveled to the 1980s for some turkey leftovers by live-tweeting Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

A big thanks (sort of) to @Regi_S for recommending the film.

Turkey leftover #12 is… “SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA,” a movie which should be awesome by the title alone. #kevincarrtweetsturkeys

SLIMEBALL 00:05 – This movie is presented by “Urban Classics,” and I’m pretty sure it’s neither.

SLIMEBALL 00:25 – Stars Leanna Quigley. Mark of quality… and boobs.

SLIMEBALL 00:45 – And Brinke Stevens. She’s a genius with like 2 PhDs and fluent in like five languages. And she has great boobs.

SLIMEBALL 02:00 – So far, this movie’s music doesn’t hold a candle to that of XANADU.

SLIMEBALL 02:40 – Nerdy college kids reading a Penthouse… back when they didn’t show penetration. Ah, the 80s.

SLIMEBALL 04:00 – Sororities in the 80s… when 35-year-old women could pass as college girls.

SLIMEBALL 05:30 – I’m pretty sure that sororities don’t do sexual hazing like a porno film. More about humiliation, which I can get into too

SLIMEBALL 07:00 – Yup, we’ve never seen college nerds portrayed as the horny kid, the fat kid and the horror movie fan.

SLIMEBALL 08:20 – That’s a whole lotta tube socks for three guys to wear.

SLIMEBALL 08:40 – Wait a minute… three sorority sisters and two pledges? What kind of sorority is this?

SLIMEBALL 09:30 – Okay, I do appreciate Brinke Stevens’ caboose c. 1988.

SLIMEBALL 11:15 – Spanking AND whipped cream??? Is this a sorority or a lesbian porno? Both, I hope.

SLIMEBALL 12:10 – Why is the main sorority hazer talking like Mae West? Does she even know who Mae West is?

SLIMEBALL 12:30 – Forgive my typos. We have a nude Brinke Stevens showering off whipped cream. I’m not even looking at my computer right now

SLIMEBALL 13:30 – All this Brinke Stevens nudity is being ruined by the nerdy guys peeping in the bathroom and making O-faces.

SLIMEBALL 14:25 – Why is there a picture of a dominatrix in leather in the sorority bathroom?

@FreddysFingers It makes me with I was in the 80s… and peeping in on the lesbian sorority initiation hazing ceremony, fer shure.

SLIMEBALL 18:10 – I’m pretty sure that no one listened to this crappy tune on the radio… even in the 80s.

SLIMEBALL 20:20 – This movie is making me wonder… how many mall-centric horror movies were made in the 70s and 80s? A lot.

SLIMEBALL 20:45 – Now for the spotlight on the creepy fat-Peter-Jackson-looking janitor, trapped in the closet.

SLIMEBALL 22:15 – Nothing says terror like nerds and 35-yr-old sorority pledges in a bowling alley.

SLIMEBALL 23:50 – And there’s Linnea Quigley. I wonder how long it’ll take for her clothes to come off.

SLIMEBALL 24:50 – What’s up with the random guitar licks? Sounds like the score for a low-budget Showtime action movie.

SLIMEBALL 27:10 – Is that a bowling trophy or a pasta maker?

SLIMEBALL 28:50 – Apparently this is the magical genie-in-the-lamp bowling trophy.

SLIMEBALL 29:15 – These kids seem pretty doggone unphazed by this jive-talking demon that just came out of the bowling trophy.

SLIMEBALL 30:00 – @carcarr819 just walked into the room, looked at the screen and said, “Oh, good Christ!” in disbelief.

SLIMEBALL 30:30 – Did the jive-talking demon just break the fourth wall?

SLIMEBALL 31:00 – From this angle, I can say with certainty that Linnea Quigley isn’t wearing a bra.

SLIMEBALL 32:30 – The fat guy wished for gold. His wish was granted, and what was his first thing he wants… to get his nails done. No lie.

SLIMEBALL 34:00 – This jive-talking demon makes Mudflaps and Skidz look like Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X.

SLIMEBALL 35:10 – I don’t think this nerd realizes that it’s customary to take off your pants when you have sex.

SLIMEBALL 36:50 – Is that what the queen of the prom looks like? Looks like a Disney Princess gone white trash.

SLIMEBALL 37:55 – I get it. The fat-Peter-Jackson janitor in the closet is comic relief. He’s the Gary Coleman of this movie.

SLIMEBALL 39:00 – They seem pretty upset that the creepy jive-talking demon that came out of a bowling trophy lied to them. Whodathunk?

SLIMEBALL 42:00 – Heads will roll. Wah-wah-wah-wah… ’cause it’s bowling, get it?

SLIMEBALL 42:30 – This guy throws up more than Paris Hilton at an Old Country Buffett.

SLIMEBALL 44:10 – Erm… fantasy Penthouse pet just took off the guy’s shoe and bit his stinky sweat sock. Is that even a registered fetish?

SLIMEBALL 45:55 – I’m pretty sure that Brinke Stevens is wearing LA Gear shoes. Remember those?

SLIMEBALL 46:55 – “Keith! I have your pants!” Are you sure this screenplay wasn’t nominated for an Oscar?

SLIMEBALL 48:30 – Ahhhh, the janitor is back. He was nominated for a Golden Globe for this film, wasn’t he?

SLIMEBALL 49;10 – The script has deteriorated into one-liner jokes… and not very good ones at that.

SLIMEBALL 50:00 – Wow… script’s not even following itself Keith (who had his pants stolen a scene ago) is now looking for his fantasy girl

SLIMEBALL 51:00 – This movie has the composition of SLAUGHTER HIGH… low-rent, even for a low-rent movie.

SLIMEBALL 52:00 – A tender love theme, perfectly played during a scene next to a unirnal. that’s cinematic beauty right there.

SLIMEBALL 53:00 – It’s really hard to have a high body count when you have less than 10 characters.

SLIMEBALL 54:20 – The whole movie begs the question… Who really puts a jive-talking demon in a bowling trophy? Really?

SLIMEBALL 56:50 – To be honest, I’d be totally cool with everyone dying in this movie.

SLIMEBALL 57:30 – Okay. I get the sorority babes. I get the bowl-o-rama. I don’t get the Slimeball part of the movie yet. Am I missing it?

SLIMEBALL 59:00 -”There’s some demons murdering my friends.” When this actor was doing summer stock, I’ll bet he never thought he’d say that

SLIMEBALL 1:00:00 – The janitor’s upset they let the imp (aka jive-talking demon) out after 30 years. Why is this a surprise?

SLIMEBALL 1:02:00 – I’m kinda bored with this explanation. Would be cooler if there was a flashback or two in there.

SLIMEBALL 1:02:30 – I found a flaw in this movie… Do imps (aka jive-talking demons) really help people improve their bowling score?

SLIMEBALL 1:03:50 – This scene was five whole minutes of exposition about the freaking imp in the freaking trophy. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

SLIMEBALL 1:06:00 – I will hand it to this movie. There’s more bush in this flick than there was in the White House for the past two decades

SLIMEBALL 1:07:55 – Girlfight!

SLIMEBALL 1:08:50 – And there’s the entire budget on screen right now… one big old burning she-demon.

SLIMEBALL 1:09:20 – “It’s too bad we had to kill her. I really liked the outfit she had on.” Yup. Those are the one-liners I’m dealing with.

SLIMEBALL 1:10:00 – These characters are pretty nonchalant about all the death and possession happening around them.

SLIMEBALL 1:11:55 – Two decapitations. Many breasts. Joe Bob Briggs would be proud.

SLIMEBALL 1:13:15 – And flipping the car broke the movie’s budget. That’s why the Imp looks like a cheap muppet knock-off.

SLIMEBALL 1:14:20 – At least Spider is acknowledging the fact that they can’t explain all the dead bodies.

SLIMEBALL 1:15:00 – Calvin rides off with Spider to have a relationship… and to get herpes.

SLIMEBALL 1:15:20 – And ROLL CREDITS!

Final thoughts on SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA… Poor production all around. But there was nudity & gore, so it was okay.

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The ‘Waterworld’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:26:15 +0000

On November 30, Kevin was joined by @AronDej to live-tweet the damp post-apocalyptic action flick Waterworld. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

Turkey leftover #11 is… “WATERWORLD,” Kevin Costner’s wet dream. #kevincarrtweetsturkeys #waterworldtweet

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 00:35 – Uh oh… melting ice caps. This can’t be good.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 01:00 – Isn’t that narrator the guy who says, “In a world…”?

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:00 – Interesting opening that I don’t seem to remember.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 01:40 – Is the first scene of the movie being Kevin Costner taking a piss symbolic of anything? Pretty much.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 02:15 – Okay, this is the science guy in me, but if he can distill urine with a few cranks, why can’t he distill ocean h2o?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 04:00 – This is a pretty doggone dramatic soundtrack for a guy picking limes off a tree.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 05:00 – I’m rather disturbed by the extraordinary number of ass shots of Costner already.

AronDej: @kevincarr I haven’t even noticed for some reason. #waterworldtweet

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 06:25 – “Two drifters meet; something must be exchanged.” Erm… is he asking for what I think he’s asking for?

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 8:00 – I want to go swimming.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 08:20 – This chase scene has an ET feel to it… maybe it’s the music.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 08:45 – What exactly is the range of these jet skis?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 09:30 – You sunk my battleship! And by battleship, I mean piece of shit floating trash!

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 9:30 – Did the people made this even care about the fact that its painfully obvious these scenes were shot separately?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 10:30 – He’s got dirt! Breakfast of champions!

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 11:20 – Amazing production value. $175 million to make everything look busted and rusted.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 12:45 – Ew. Creepy Aryan child with dreadlocks.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 13:30 – “Smokers”? “Slavers”? Is this written by Joss Whedon?

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 15:30 – Creepy Aryan dad, I presume…

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 15:50 – I noticed this when I saw the movie in the theaters… the girl’s name is Enola, and this movie is a bomb.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 17:30 – That’s really creepy.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 17:50 – Okay, if their gene pool is so overbred, why are there still different races? Again… my science geek coming out.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 18:30 – He’s a mutant! I just want to scream it here in my living room! He’s a mutant! (Why do we care?)

AronDej: #waterworldtweet – 19:30 – You are aware its your fault that he had to kill somebody, right? Christ these people are stupid.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 20:00 – Seriously, they can generate electricity for the whole atoll, but that can’t harness the power to distill water?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 21:10 – Mike Jeter (RIP) in a creepy “i’m not molesting you” moment.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 22:15 – So this map on the girl’s back point “up” on a sphere. That’s not a map. It’s like saying “go north”

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 22:30 – Christ. This movie has too much exposition when we don’t need it, and not enough when we do.

Siblings_at_Law: #waterworldtweet When I saw WATERWORLD in the theater, I kept on feeling this urge to go to the restroom. Don’t know why.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 24:40 – The need to recycle or not, I wouldn’t be keen on living around a giant pool of poop.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 25:30 – Again, more symbolism… Costner is being lowered into a giant vat of poop… just like his career.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 26:20 – I’m sorry, but I just refuse to believe that centuries after the ice caps melt that there’d be enough gasoline.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 26:30 – so basically this movie is kind of like Mad Max in a Pool.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 27:30 – I’m willing to bet that no one in this movie is wearing clean underwear.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 28:00 – And the big guns kill everyone. The end. (If only)

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 30:10 – And back to the poop pit. Kevin Costner’s going to get an infection.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 30:40 – Who are we rooting for again, @AronDej?

AronDej: #waterworldtweet – I’m having a really hard time live tweeting this. Its honestly not a terrible movie, its just boring and bloated.

Siblings_at_Law: #waterworldtweet This movie stole the thunder from a screenplay idea I was working on at the time: DRYWORLD.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 31:20 – This is just like the ending of The Wizard of Oz…. only this is the beginning of the movie, and it sucks.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 32:20 – Dear Kevin Reynolds: It’s not good form to keep your hero locked in a cage during an action sequence.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 33:33 – Could this score be more generic?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 33:40 – That kid’s getting passed around more times than Lindsay Lohan at an after-Oscars party.

kevincarr: @AronDej You know what would make this movie better? A 1940s big-band musical number with Gene Kelly and Olive Newton-John #waterworldtweet

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 35:25 – Wow… that was one unstable jet ski.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 35:50 – Why are Costner’s toes only webbed in one shot of the film. They look normal all other times.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 37:20 – Ahhhh…. Dennis Hopper just isn’t the same when he’s not so stoned he has to wear a diaper.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 38:35 – For a movie warning us of the dangers of global warming, they sure blow up a ton of sh*t with gallons of gasoline.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 39:00 – What I will never understand is why they didn’t make Waterworld into an actual water park. It would be fun.

kevincarr: @AronDej LOL… Shamu could come in and save the day. #waterworldtweet

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 39:45 – “I need to know about that tattooed girl.” I’m pretty sure that’s not the first time Dennis Hopper has said that.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 40:00 – I cant decide if Dennis Hopper is awesome or horrible in this movie.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 41:00 – A pun like that belongs in Batman and Robin.

kevincarr: @Siblings_at_Law Hey, there has to be a market for webbed-foot fetish porn. #waterworldtweet

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 41:50 – “The kid, we’ve gotta pitch over the side.” Our hero, ladies and gentlemen. Our hero.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 43:00 – So this entire movie is pretty much Kevin Costner refusing to have sex.

Siblings_at_Law: @kevincarr He is one of those anti-heroes I hear about from time to time. #waterworldtweet

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 43:40 – Whoa… Jeanne Tripplehorn ass shot. I forgot about that one.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 46:15 – So, why do they call it “Dryland”? Shouldn’t they just call it “Land”?

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 46:40 – Holy ridiculously large cod piece, batman!

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 46:50 – You can always trust Tobey.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 47:30 – Peter Gunn??? Really? That’s Dennis Hopper’s badass theme?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 50:20 – For those who don’t know it…. the girl who plays Enola is the girl from NAPOLEON DYNAMITE.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 52:15 – She can’t swim? She lives on freaking Waterworld! That’s like saying you can’t walk on Dryland.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 53:00 – You’d think a child growing up in Waterworld would know how to swim.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 53:40 – Another plane? I know the smokers live on an oil barge, but where are they distilling the fuel?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 55:15 – You’d think that Costner would have better defenses being a drifter and all.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 55:40 – This scene depicts what really happened to Amelia Earhart at the end of AMELIA.

AronDej: @kevincarr Maybe they’ve figured out a way to use piss as fuel. #waterworldtweet

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 58:00 – What’s with this mexican gangbanger accent Costner’s been sporting at random points throughout the movie?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 58:00 – Boo-yah. That girl’s got moxie!

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 58:40 – A truly great man.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 58:55 – This movie is like GIGLI in that GIGLI took place in an apartment. This movie takes place on a boat.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet – 1:00:05 – Jesus! That bitch can scream!

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:00:20 – Hey look! It’s Kim Coates from SONS OF ANARCHY

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:01:10 – Why does this guy have an Irish accent? Hundreds of years in the future?

AronDej: #waterworldtweet – 1:01:20 – That’s what she said!

AronDej: #waterworldtweet – 1:02:30 – This guy seems very familiar…

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:02:40 – I can see how paper is rare… but what would you use it for?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:03:40 – Okay… let me get this straight… throwing a child overboard is OK. But having sex with her, no f-ing way?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:07:00 – Well, there’s meat for dinner.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:09:25 – There was a perfectly fine dead body there to eat.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:11:25 – Seems like a bit of a waste to kill a whale-sized sea monster and only take a little bit. Bastards.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:12:10 – Damn. Jeane Tripplehorn has a huge neck.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:12:15 – Wow. This dialogue scene is terrible. Is it trying to add depth to character?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:13:10 – Cue inappropriate touching and attention from Costner.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:13:45 – Nice score. Creepy moment. On another note, I still want to go swimming.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:14:30 – Man… pedophiles must have loved this scene.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:14:52 – Ok. This is getting too weird.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:16:10 – It’s a trick! It’s a trap!

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:16:22 – And I thought the last scene was extremely creepy!

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:18:11 – Some of this hair is criminally large. I really hope this is not the type of hair that populates the future.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:18:15 – I zoned out. What’s happening? Oh yeah… another chase sequence on water.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:20:45 – I’m waiting for someone to yell, “You can’t handle the truth!”

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:21:45 – Why don’t these massive sea monsters ever appear when they go in the water the other 100 times?

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:22:21 – Look! Its Kevin Costner’s career! Just sinking lower and lower….

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:22:30 – Again, the science guy in me is just waiting for JT’s head to crush under the water pressure.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:23:20 – I think this is supposed to be Denver under water… which is pretty much impossible w/o some continental shift.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:23:40 – Ok, this sequence is pretty cool.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:25:20 – She would pretty much suffocate by now… if only.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:26:30 – Where did all the cigarettes come from… after centuries on water?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:27:30 – You know what this scene needs? JT offering someone sex, and then having them refuse.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:28:30 – Oh no! They just killed Yahoo Serious!

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:28:59 – THAT MAKES NO SENSE!!

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:29:25 – and they’re eaten by a giant sea monster. The end… if only.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:30:19 – Dennis Hopper, stop it. This isn’t right.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:31:25 – Why does everyone assume Enola knows what’s on her back… It’s on her back, after all.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:33:35 – We’re gonna die here. Might as well have sex so you can have guppies in nine months.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:33:50 – A sex scene? on a downed flaming plane in the middle of waterworld? Really?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:35:00 – I know National Geographic is a solid magazine, but it wouldn’t survive centuries of water damage.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:35:00 – How the hell does an issue of National Geographic survive underwater for hundreds, and/or thousands of years?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:36:00 – It’s convenience theater, starring Michael Jeter.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:37:25 – Erm… that is a map of Nevada… why is it important to you/

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:38:15 – Blasphemy? Since when did religion play into the story?

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:39:10-ish – OH MY GOD NO. THAT IS NOT RIGHT!!

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:40:00 – Holy rusted metal, Batman! (those who have seen BATMAN FOREVER will get this)

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:40:55 – The most convenient bullet holes in the history of time.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:41:55 – SMEAT? Really? LMAO.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:41:55 – There is not enough Spam in the post-apocalyptic world to feed these people for centuries.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:44:12 – No. We all haven’t. Freak.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:44:15 – These bad guys have fantastic teeth for the apocalypse. They must have a great dental plan.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:45:00 – Cum? No… dry land.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:45:45 – “He’s fast and strong like a big wind.” Like a big broken wind, that is.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:46:00 – This little blabbermouth really does need to STFU.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:47:20 – “The path”? That’s just a doodle that says, “go to the top of the big round thing you’re floating on.”

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:47:50 – Let the wild rumpus start!

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:48:15 – Looks like the Crimson Permanent Assurance is ready to set sail.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:49:55 – “He’s like a turd that won’t flush.” Like this movie (and why do they know what flushing is?)

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:51:50 – Note to Kevin Reynolds… Crude oil does not explode like gasoline on a Michael Bay set.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:52:30 – The cinematographer totally stole some shots from DEEP RISING. Not that anyone noticed.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:55:00 – Yeah, that worked. Because we all know that planes can’t fly without their landing gear.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:56:15 – Wow. This blue-screen work is almost as awesome as that done in the Roger Moore JAMES BOND films.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:57:00 – Oh, they were on the Exxon Valdez. Really? That’s just stupid.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:57:05 – Its like the Antithesis to Titanic.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:57:45 – Yes, if you whip a jet ski, it goes faster. Let’s not mention that they don’t even know what horses are.

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:58:05 – I don’t think anything that just happened during the past 20 seconds was physically possible.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 1:58:55 – “That way” is the direction they got from Enola’s back? 150 days later…

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 1:59:00 – Why is there still 16 minutes left to Kevin’s Gate… I mean, Waterworld…

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 2:00:40 – So this movie should be called ALMOST WATERWORLD

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 2:01:40 – So they traveled south from Denver to get to Hawaii, which was populated by Chinese Indians?

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 2:02:00 – Enola sure does have great respect for the dead, doesn’t she?

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 2:02:50 – This movie makes a perfect bridge to Costner’s DANCES WITH WOLVES.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 2:04:00 – This final scene with Enola and the Mariner is touching. And by “touching” I mean “boring.”

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 2:05:30 – And he’s still saying good-bye? Leave, already!

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 2:06:00 – This guy sure does have a lot of nerve. What a prick.

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 2:06:15 – With all the people in all the gin joints on the sea, I find it hard to believe no one has stumbled up this place

kevincarr: #waterworldtweet 2:06:45 – And ROLL CREDITS!

AronDej: #waterworldtweet 2:07:00 – Unlike Gigli, this movie did not take forever to end. It just had a stupid ending.

kevincarr: Final thoughts on WATERWORLD… Movie looks fantastic (good Blu-ray transfer), but the story & characters are awful. #waterworldtweet

Thanks to @AronDej for joining in on a late-night live-tweet.

Follow Kevin on…

The ‘Xanadu’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:04:09 +0000

On November 29, Kevin was joined by @AronDej and @carcarr819 to live-tweet the roller-disco classic Xanadu. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

kevincarr: Turkey #10 is… “XANADU,”starring Olivia Newton-John, when she was hot and Kevin had a crush on her. #kevincarrtweetsturkeys #xanadutweet

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 00:10 – Retro logo with ragtime music. I feel like I’m watching the Muppet Show.

AronDej: #xanadutweet – 00:13 – Old fashion Universal logo. Pretty cool, actually.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 00:40 – Took less than 40 seconds for the disco music to start. Meh.

AronDej: #xanadutweet – 00:50 – What? A flying saucer? Does this have any significance (no, it doesn’t)

AronDej: #xanadutweet – 1:12 – Really? That looks like the title card of a bad early 90s video game.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 01:30 – This is the most musically bipolar movie already, and the credits aren’t even over.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 01:55 – Kenny Ortega choreographed this. the brain behind HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL and Michael Jackson’s THIS IS IT.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet Choreographed by Kenny Ortega, long before his High School Musical days.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 3:40 – Lawrence Gordon? Wow.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 03:55 – Plot summed up… magic paper flies by drug-induced mural, and hot chicks come to life and dance. Yup, this was the 80s

AronDej: #xanadutweet – 4:20 – And there you are ELO… and…. what ever these things are.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 04:40 – I have seen this before, so I know what’s going on, but the people in 1980 must have been tripping during htis scene.

AronDej: #xanadutweet – 4:50 – Ha! The song is called I’m Alive! Get it? And they’re from a painting!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 05:00 – Token black chick.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 05:20 – Token Asian chick.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 06:00 – If only this scene turned into a naked pillow fight or jello wrestling.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 06:50 – apparently ONJ couldn’t dance.

AronDej: #xanadutweet – 7:55 And the point of this scene…. is?

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 08:45 – Hey dude… Elton John called. He wants his glasses… and his sexuality… back.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 9:05 – You can see everybody in this movie became A-List actors.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 10:10 – Struggling L.A. artist… this is so original.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet Ever heard of “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” artist dude?

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 10:40 – “Is this the same Sonny Malone that drives women crazy?” Naw… this is the Sonny Malone with three outstandingwarrants

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 11:20 – Button up that shirt, man. Your weasel is escaping.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 11:40 – My god… that photographer has more hair on himself than Robin Williams’ forearms.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 12:05 – The short-shorts on that hot dog vendor belongs on @PeopleofWalmart

AronDej: #xanadutweet 12:07 – Apparently that’s how popcorn stand workers dressed in 1980…?

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 12:40 – Gene Kelly??? Noooooooooo! You had a career once!

carcarr819: #xanadutweet And Gene Kelly as the clarinet player, ladies and gentlemen.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 14:00 – The drugs were so good in 1980 that no one cared whose bike you stole.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 14:01 – Why not just go with them? They seem perfectly willing to have sex with you.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 14:50 – This would be the perfect time for the JAWS crossover.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 14:52 – Listen guy, its not even worth it. Olivia Newton John wont even be popular by the late 80s!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 15:20 – In a different movie, Gene Kelly would be a pimp trolling for new male prostitutes.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 16:10 – The chicks “love” the custom “eat hot dogs” paint job on a van? What kind of chicks are you talking about?

AronDej: #xanadutweet 17:00 – Apparently everybody in 1980 skated around abandoned buildings.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 17:50 – There is nothing cooler than a stalker lurking around an abandoned building in white tube socks.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 18:25 – Is that even Olivia Newton John dancing?

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 19:25 – When are they going to remake XANADU with roller blades and hip hop funk? I’m sure its’ been suggested.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 19:49 – “Say you come around here often?” Really original there, man.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 20:30 – Damn, I will say that ONJ was freaking hot c. 1980.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 21:40 – I don’t even believe that record producer’s beard is rel.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 21:50 – This sounds like the arguments the producers had over making many of these turkeys,

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 22:30 – This Tuesday/Wednesday discussion is almost as significant as the 2 + 2 = 5 discussion in Orwell’s 1984.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 23:50 – The record store is called “Platinum Palace.” A strip club down the road from me is called “Pure Platinum.” That is all

AronDej: #xanadutweet 24:40-ish A Glen Miller reference? That would fall even more flat today than in 1980.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 24:45 – Gene Kelly’s house looks like the bad guy’s lair in MOONRAKER.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 26:00 – Why does a two-bit clarinet player from the big band era have so much money?

AronDej: #xanadutweet 26:30 – Yup, because all songs from the 30s/40s have the production values and vocal techniques of a song from 1980.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 27:55 – Now he’s talking to the record. He’s batty.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 28:20 – Please cut the scene before Gene Kelly starts “remembering” too much and breaks out the lotion.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 29:11 – Good god.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 30:00 – Old Gene Kelly making out with young and hot ONJ… I just threw up in my mouth a bit…

AronDej: #xanadutweet 30:15 – Judging by Gene Kelly’s reaction to this, this is a normal occurrence for him.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 30:55 – I’m pretty sure this is just a brain tumor hallucination for Gene Kelly.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 31:45 – ONJ “dancing” alongside Gene Kelly proves again that ONJ can’t dance.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 32:00 – This scene can end any time, movie.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 33:00 – Well, that was UTTERLY POINTLESS! But hey, at least we got some good dancing & great song out of it, right!? No. Wrong.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 34:15 – That whole off-the-shoulder thing was sexy back then. Now we just go with the Lil’ Kim string bra & see-thru top.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 35:05-ish – Generally, calling the woman you’re trying to impress home a dump, doesn’t get you anywhere. But not with ONJ!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 35:25 – this movie has all the logic of a Bang Bros. porno movie.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 36:40 – Even I don’t know wtf is going on in this music video sequence.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 37:00 – Great. Another pointless song. What the hell is the plot to this movie anyway?

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 37:30 – Did they just fly and then travel to the Land of the Lost? What were they taking in this scene?

AronDej: #xanadutweet 38:00 – Such creative direction.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet Never saw this movie before, yet I find myself able to sing along with the songs. I find this a bit disturbing, yet typical.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 38:15 – Is the fact that they “skate on water” symbolic? Or am I reading too much into it?

AronDej: #xanadutweet 38:20 – THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE FUCKING SENSE!

AronDej: #xanadutweet 39:00 – You idiot! You missed them completely!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 39:00- I don’t know what I’m more impressed with…the leaps in logic, or the fact that @carcarr819 knows all the songs’ lyrics

AronDej: #xanadutweet 39:45 – Great. More creative direction and uninspired music.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 40:10 – “No! Its not me! Its somebody else!” That one always works!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 40:30 – Where did their shoes come from?

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 40:50 – Nice matte painting. I wonder if it was painted by Sonny Malone.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet For someone who claims to like to eat too much to be a starving artist, he sure doesn’t mind pissing off his boss too much.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet Trivia… ONJ was 32 when she shot this movie. She looks great for 32.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet 42:10 What do you expect when you let an artist serve as your real estate agent?

AronDej: #xanadutweet 42:20 – Is it built over an indian burial ground?

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 43:20 – Holy crap. Another musical sequence.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 43:37 – This isn’t the 80s. Its that void of 1979 and 1980.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 44:40 – Why do all the guys in Gene Kelly’s 40s flashback look like Katt Williams in his pimpin’ stand-up routine?

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 45:25 – Thos are the ugliest back-up singers ever.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 45:30 – This movie has less of a plot than Teen Witch or even Gigli.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 46:30 – It feel like they just went to a gay dance club, said “we’re making a movie with ONJ!”, and made them do all this.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 47:00 – I am still mesmerized by the Bride of Frankenstein back-up singer.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 47:35 – This is what the cast of STARLIGHT EXPRESS did before resorting to crack whoring.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 48:14 – Holy shit. Its like he’s raping her without even touching her.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet 48:20 Yay! Creative camera work under the crotch. Just what I needed to make my experience of Xanadu complete.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet 49:00 So glad I was only 7 in 1980 and didn’t have to wear any of these “fashions”! Holy codpiece Batman!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 49:10 – I will never look at a leopard’s ass the same way again.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 49:30 – DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN MY BRAIN IS MELTING.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 50:00 – Its like an 80s gay dance club ate a 40s WWII homecoming party and then vomited it onto celluloid.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 50:10 – “I haven’t been crazy for over 35 years!” Really? Didn’t you just have another brain tumor hallucination.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 50:35 – Whoa! Did Gene Kelly just suggest that he and Sonny Malone have sex?

carcarr819: #xanadutweet You’re becoming partners with a man you just met? In 2009, this would have SCAM written all over it.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 52:38 – …Today, almost as legendary is Florida’s Xanadu, world’s largest private pleasure ground.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 53:45 – “Opening night. Whatever you want, it’s on the house.” Well, I want a midget hooker to paint me with bull semen!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 54:30 – Oh, so she’s frigid.

AronDej: @kevincarr Better yet, when the clock strikes 12, I wanna grab a slut and pee in her butt! #xanadutweet #jimparsonsisawesome

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 55:35 – Cue completely WTF-freak-out animation sequence by Don Bluth.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet 55:35 Oh good Christ! Now we’re animated?! I need a beer.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 56:30 – Holy christ. They didn’t… they cant… they have,

kevincarr: @AronDej This movie would be greatly improved with Jim Parsons. #xanadutweet #jimparsonsisawesome

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 57:20 – Imma let you finish, but XANADU had the best music video of the year.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 57:25 – Holy bestiality batman!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 58:00 – Why is Gene Kelly celebrating with extras from STARKY & HUTCH?

carcarr819: #xanadutweet Ladies and gents: Xanadu-rated PG, Xanadu Tweet-rated NC-17

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 58:45 – How cold are ONJ’s legs? Not at all because she always has leg warmers. (Yeah, that was a lame tweet…)

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 59:25 – Why is there a jungle explorer outside the Glitz Emporium?

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:00:00 – I need those crotch curtains for my house.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:00:06 – ok. This is just too much for me. I need to eat something. NOW.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:00:30 – Gene Kelly is Pimpadelic!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:01:00 – This is just like the shopping montage in PRETTY WOMAN… without the prostitute… sort of.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:01:40 – Believe it or not, but I do remember when these fashions and video effects were the shiz-nit.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet Costume designer: more of “I really don’t even know what to say at this point.”

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:04:00 – We need those parking signs… and a lamp shade

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:04:50 – “You kids go on home.” I’m going to stay here and have another brain tumor hallucination, then stroke out.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:06:15 – “I’m not as I appear to you.” Really?. Do you have a penis?

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:07:00 – Zeus is her dad…. of this movie was faithful to greek mythology, it would not end well.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:07:05 – Whaaaaaat? How did you do this multimedia voodoo?

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:08:25 – This may be the worst noir film ever. I am glad there was no spin off.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet 1:08:09 Oh, don’t be so dramatic Sonny. You’re acting like my 8-year-old with that fake fainting act.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:08:40 – She listed all these artists that were inspired by the muses, but she left out Tiny Tim’s Tip-toe Through the Tulips.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:09:20 – Wow… an artist really has a rainbow banner painted on his apartment wall?

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:09:24 – Olivia isn’t even trying to not sound Australian now.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:10:10 – Wow… Even I wouldn’t wear a shirt that ugly.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:10:20 – Wonderful editing. I also love how they’re just walking around for no reason.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:11:00 – What??? This editing makes no fucking sense!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1;11:40 – I wish Sonny Malone had longer pants.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:11:45 – GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:12:35 – What a coinkidink! He found the very mural where Kira and her sisters first appeared… in a city of 15 mill peopel

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:13:50 – I think Sonny Malone just was resurrected in a Base Star.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:14:20 – My god… he’s in some bizarre magenta and orange hell!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:14:30 – When does Tron show up and try to fight the MCP?

VegasWalkinDude: @kevincarr Are you in a place where nobody dared to go? Is the love that you came to know the one I call Xanadu? #xanadutweet

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:15:30 – Erm… Zeus is no omnipotent. He was just a horny bastard who had some wicked-ass powers.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:16:30 – You sound like an obnoxious teenage girl, ONJ.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:17:00 – I think Hera has the same brain tumor that Gene Kelly has.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:18:20 – More wonderful direction.

kevincarr: @VegasWalkinDude I am there with my leg warmers and roller skates and ugly Hawaiian shirt. #xanadutweet

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:19:30 – MOVE THE GODDAMN CAMERA! Where’s Michael Bay when you freaking need him?

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:19:35 – Were it not for these extended and irrelevent musical interludes, this movie would be sixteen minutes long.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet 1:19:55 Okay, we get it, you wish you were with Sonny. Do we need a whole boring song to express it? I think not!

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:20:30 – Olivia really does not seem to be enjoying this.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:21:10 – There’s more sparkles in this movie than a desert movie with Edward Cullen.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:21:30 – No… don’t… don’t even…

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:22:10 – So he opens Xanadu the night club, and it ends up being the set for ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW?

carcarr819: #xanadutweet 12:22:20 Was this REALLY the dream he’d been wanting to see come true since 1945?

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:23:00 – I would be both ashamed in in sheer awe of I was at this club.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:24:00 – The more chanting they do, the more I think they may be a cult. And ELO and Olivia Newton John are their gods.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet All that skating in different directions at the same time…that’s just a giant collision waiting to happen!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:24:40 – It was only a matter of time before we went to split screen. If only Carrie White would come to opening night.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:25:00 – Jesus christ. Well, at least she looks good. But a tip… ONJ… lay off the tanning bed just a teensy bit.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet 1:25:00 I totally see Dirty Dancing and High School Musical moves in ONJ’s entrance. Go Kenny Ortega!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:25:50 – Yes, that is correct. @carcarr819 and I are singing the Xanadu theme in unison.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:26:15 – Mimes on a tightrope! Kill them!

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:26:24 – This is both painful and wonderful.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:28:00 – If I recall, what follows is a huge musical montage with a massive ONJ costume fetish.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:28:30 – No. Just no.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet Headline: roller skating extra hangs herself in acrobatic stunt on the set of Xanadu!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:28:55 – Mmmmmm… more leopard print ass shots!

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:29:00 – Wow… I mean… really? Just… wow. I don’t know whether to enjoy this, or be offended.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:29:45 – ONJ in leopard print mini skirt and thigh-high hooker boots? Thank you very much.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:30:00 – Just end it. Please. Just let all this highly flammable glitter catch fire and end it!

carcarr819: #xanadutweet RT @carcarr819: @AronDej At this point, I think we just need to go with it and pray it all ends soon!

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:30:35 – These are some of the gayest cowboys in the b.g. since BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:31:30 – I am beginning to wonder if this was Lady Gaga’s favorite childhood movie. Along with Labyrinth.

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:32:15 – Awwww…. Sonny Malone is left alone. Where will he find a single, available woman in L.A.?

kevincarr: #xanadutweet 1:33:10 – And the moral of the story is… it’s all about looks. And ROLL CREDITS!

AronDej: #xanadutweet 1:33:55 – Holy mother of god. That was astounding.

AronDej: #xanadutweet This and Teen Witch really are partners in cinematic crime.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet How many times do we have to hear the Xanadu theme song? Couldn’t they have found another ONJ song to play over the credits?

kevincarr: Watching the trailer for #xanadutweet, and it’s pretty astounding. My brain just melted.

carcarr819: #xanadutweet Xanadu spelled backwards is Udanax. Sounds like an anti-hallucination drug.

AronDej: #xanadutweet – I sincerely hope nobody with Epilepsy has watched this movie. Let alone this trailer.

kevincarr: Final thoughts on XANADU… I remembered it to be better. 1980 drug trip, though ONJ was pretty freaking hot in her outfits. #xanadutweet

Thanks to @AronDej and @carcarr819 for joining in on a late-night live-tweet.

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The ‘Gigli’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 10:52:56 +0000

On November 23, Kevin was joined by @AronDej to live-tweet Gigli, one of the biggest box office bombs in history, starring Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Lopez’s ass. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

kevincarr: Turkey #9 is… “GIGLI,”starring Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Lopez’ ass #kevincarrtweetsturkeys #giglitweet

AronDej: #giglitweet That’s really not good when I’m only at 00:10 and your movie already sounds crummy.

AronDej: #giglitweet – 1:00 – Cue generic score and voiceover.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 00:30 – So far so good. Pictures’ not even up…

kevincarr: #giglitweet 01:05 – The only thing you can count on is that you never f-ing know. Mantra for the movie.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 01:45 – Is Ben Affleck *really* that intimidating?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 02:45 – That is one big f-ing dryer.

AronDej: #giglitweet 3:00 – Ok, this would actually be fun.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 03:10 – What is it about a bowling shirt that makes people quake in their boots?

AronDej: #giglitweet 3:20 – But do they do it? No.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 03:45 – These could be the producers arguing over whether this movie was a good idea.

AronDej: #giglitweet – 5:00 – Not really that bad so far, to be honest.

kevincarr: @AronDej Just you wait. #giglitweet

kevincarr: #giglitweet 07:00 – With a retarded character, the filmmakers must have thought this’d be a shoe-in for an Oscar.

AronDej: #giglitweet 7:58 – ??? This feels very badly dubbed.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 08:50 – I want to go to the Baywatch, too.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 09:10 -I weep for Justin Bartha. He’s such a good actor, and he does a good job in this movie. The problem is… it’s this movie

kevincarr: #giglitweet 09:50 – They’re not wearing seat belts! Danger, Will Robinson!

kevincarr: #giglitweet 10:25 – I want a nifty giant f-ing flashlight phone!

kevincarr: #giglitweet 11:25 – What? Is he a vampire? He needs to be invited in?

AronDej: #giglitweet 12:20 – repetitive seen is repetitive and… alright. Nevermind. wtf.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 12:25 – Did he just call Gigli a “soup-fucker”? What does that even mean?

AronDej: #giglitweet 13:00 – jesus christ, Just Bartha is a freaking midget.

AronDej: #giglitweet 13:30 – DUH DUH DUHHH…. The bitch is here.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 14:00 – And here’s Jennifer Lopez and her ass to suck the life out of this movie.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 14:20 – My god look at that thing. It’s like a Christmas turkey stuffed into a pair of jeans!

kevincarr: #giglitweet 15:30 – This could be worse. It could be Megan Fox.

AronDej: #giglitweet 16:05 – Is he staring down at his boner or something?

AronDej: #giglitweet 16:59 – Cant tell you how many times I’ve heard that.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 17:00 – Awwww, Jenny from the Block is trying to act tough. Is she *trying* to do a Brooklyn accent?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 18:00 – What kind of crime boss hangs outside a Beverly Hills sidewalk cafe?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 18:50 – Why are we getting an etemology lesson? He’s learning a word a day? Didn’t Stallone do that in OSCAR?

AronDej: #giglitweet ALL – Why do they make Ben Affleck seem a foot taller than everybody else in this movie?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 20:00 – Holy Christ! The dialogue just took a turn for the worse.

AronDej: #giglitweet 20:10 – Jesus. This whole scene was ridiculous. Sultan of Slick is a pretty cool title though.

AronDej: #giglitweet 21:00 – He’s mentally retarded, Ben. You should know that of all people, right? MATT DAMMOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!

kevincarr: #giglitweet 21:20 – If she’d kill him now, the movie would be over. I should be so lucky.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 23:00 – Somehow I got distracted from the movie and did a Google search on how many cups of spit you swallow each day.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 24:00 – Bull. Cow. Damn, how did this miss the Golden Globe?

AronDej: #giglitweet 24:00 – When did we establish that they were in a relationship? Does eating together constitute a relationship in this film?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 24:40 – I think “The Baywatch” is a metaphor for the increasing globalization of our society.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 25:50 – Who keeps a bottle of Tabasco Sauce on his end table?

AronDej: #giglitweet 26:05 – Something tells me Tobasco regrets this promotion.

AronDej: #giglitweet 27:25 – What exactly is this situation, anyway?

AronDej: #giglitweet 27:45-ish – Did I say sultan of slick? I meant sleaze, sorry!

kevincarr: #giglitweet 28:35 – Not since BOOGIE NIGHTS have we seen such mirror preparation for sex.

AronDej: #giglitweet 28:52 – This might be the most accurate depiction of the modern italian male in a while.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 29:15 – Wait a minute! Why didn’t she read *her* book to the kid?

AronDej: #giglitweet 29:30 – Ben, your body isn’t that impressive. Sorry.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 31:40 – What the hell kind of cartoon is this?

AronDej: #giglitweet 31:49 – That cartoon was actually really good and smart, surprisingly mature and funny. Unlike this film.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 32:45 – I find it hard to believe that this is the first time someone pulled the “I’m a lesbian” line on Gigli.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 33:20 – Enter Christopher Walken in the most incomprehensible role ever.

AronDej: #giglitweet 34:00 – Pulling something out of your ass right now might save the movie.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 35:35 – The writer definitely used his thesaurus for the dialogue in this movie.

AronDej: #giglitweet 36:40 – What exactly is the point of having Walken in this movie?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 37:05 – Man, you know what I’d love to do right now? Forget the pie. Just turn off the movie.

AronDej: #giglitweet 37:25-ish Wow. Again, another company that probably regrets their promotion in this movie.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 38:45 – Christopher Walken dancing in the Fat Boy Slim video made more sense than his role in this movie.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 40:30 – All the beautiful girls at the Baywatch? Aren’t they at the strip clubs by the airport in L.A.?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 41:00 – Why all the tender music while the kid asks “where the sex is”? I feel tingly now.

AronDej: #giglitweet 41:15 – Wow. A Mural of Jenny from the block? Its really accurate.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 42:40 – This Tai Moi Choi talk was cooler in HOT ROD talking about how Tai Chi has a move that makes someone crap his pants.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 43:30 – I’m sure actresses have used this Tai Moi Choi monologue to blow auditions all the time.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 44:40 – I don’t think that Ricki actually talked them down or anything. She just bored them into submission.

AronDej: #giglitweet 45:05 – i’m thinking that porn site regrets this promotion, as well.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 45:30 – Really? You’re going to quote “The Art of War”? Why does every crappy movie do this?

AronDej: #giglitweet 46:49 – I thought she was gonna say jerk off.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 46:50 – Thanks fo rthe psychology lession, J-Lo. Because women never yell at their families when they’re upset?

MrPookieBlack: @kevincarr Are you really watching Gigli? #giglitweet

kevincarr: #giglitweet 47:55 – Brings a new meaning to the term “whale tail.”

kevincarr: @MrPookieBlack Yes, and I’m regretting every minute of it. #giglitweet

kevincarr: #giglitweet 49:15 – Was Sharon Gless’s character on BURN NOTICE modeled after Gigli’s mom?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 50:50 – Suddenly, the Ma is interested in the lesbian Rickie.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 51:30 – And I just threw up in my mouth.

AronDej: #giglitweet 52:10 – Keep an open mind? You mean like Justin Bartha and Ben Affleck will get together at the end of the movie?

AronDej: #giglitweet 53:15 – In reference to my last tweet, am I the only one who notices this bizarre homoeroticism between them?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 54:40 – This discussion of men versus women in bed is just a retread of CHASING AMY’s “deep dicking” speech.

AronDej: #giglitweet 55:00 – Actually, mr. Sultan of Sleaze, its been highly proven that people of the same gender tend to give better oral sex.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 56:00 – It looks like J-Lo’s nipple is trying to escape into her armpit.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 57:25 – Is it ironic that I had to go stick a toothpick in a pie just now. Yes, I am making a pie right now.

AronDej: #giglitweet 57:30 – Wow. You managed to make that whole thing about lips sexual.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 58:00 – Only J-Lo could be half-naked talking about sex for five minutes and make it completely boring an un-sexy.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 59:25 – I, too, would rather listen to the Australian weather girl’s voice than J-Lo talking about cunnelingus.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:00:00 – For some reason I expect the benny hill show theme to start playing at any moment.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:02:00 – This is pretty fitting for this movie.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:02:00 – Why doesn’t he read what’s on the back of his DVDs in his collection in the background… or J-Lo’s book?

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:03:45 – Wow. Just wow. Really. I’m not sure whether this is awesome or shockingly bad. Or both.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:03:55 – That is the most unintimidating tattoo I have ever seen on a Hollywood gangster.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:04:45 – *Now* I’ll cut your thumb off.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:05:30 – This movie would be so much better if Gigli never answered his door or his phone.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:07:00 – Missy Crider, who plays Ricki’s girlfriend, used to bang James Woods. I threw up in my mouth again.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:08:00 – All symbolic of J-Lo’s acting career. She did peak with ANACONDA, after all.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:08:40 – You mean she’s a stupid plastic bimbo who cant act? Yeah, in that respect, she is just like the gals on baywatch.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:09:00 – My “pee sneeze”? Wow. I mean, just wow.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:11:00 – I don’t want anyone to suck my cock for twelve hours. After hour 2 or 3, you’re going to chaffe something fierce.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:11:50 – Really? Is Ricki really wearing a @PeopleofWalmart shirt?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:12:30 – A morgue worker’s lunch. Never seen that gag before.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:13:20 – Is Brian singing about J-Lo’s big butt?

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:14:00 – This entire hospital seen is one of the most physically impossible I have ever witnessed.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:15:00 – This girl seems really, really happy to have a speaking part in this movie.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:17:00 – We’re hearing tender music with touching dialogue about Dykasaurus Rex. Just wait for Brian to ask about The Baywatch.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:18:20 – This fingernail discussion was old when I was in college… in the early 90s.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:20:30 – What is wrong with a little nipple tweak between friends? I mean, really?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:21:15 – “It’s turkey time! Gobble, gobble!” And Happy Thanksgiving, people. This is why we’re watching GIGLI this week.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:21:23 – Thanks. I think I’m Asexual now.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:23:30 – This is so sweet and tender. It’s too bad it had to start with “It’s turkey time. Gobble, gobble.”

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:24:00 – “God bless you, penis.” Oh snap.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:27:00 – He has a fantasy of going somewhere really clean. That’s everyone’s fantasy after banging J-Lo.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:28:00 – Al F-ing Pacino! The one-two punch with Walken from earlier.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:30:00 – Who cares about the freaking thumb vs. finger debate?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:31:40 – These are the worst gangster henchmen ever.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:34:10 – Whoa. I just noticed Pacino’s pony tail. He just looks ridiculous.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:37:25 – This movie has more random speeches than an episode of GREY’S ANATOMY.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:37:40 – to be honest I don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t really care.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:41:00 – Ben… please stop… you’re just embarassing yourself now.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:41:40 – Ben Affleck almost made a full career out of converting fictional lesbians.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:41:50 – Could we please stop it with the monologues… PLEASE.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:42:30 – “orrogone” wow. I guess I could be different, but last time i checked it was pronounced “Oar-again”

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:43:00 – Jesus. This ending is longer than RETURN OF THE KING.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:43:45 – And he we go into the dumbest frakking ending to a movie EVER! The Baywatch, the holy grail. WTF?

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:44:40 – I didn’t even remember them still filming Baywatch in 2003.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:45:00 – and WTF is up with this score? They make it sound like he found his long lost mother.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:45:00 – Because in L.A., you can just wander onto any beach set that you want to, and no one notices.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:46:00 – and who the hell wears these clothes in L.A.?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:46:40 – “Sometimes he smells like fish.” Just like J-Lo there, huh?

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:48:20 – “I think I’ll miss you most, Scarecrow.”

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:48:40 – This ending is unbelievably long and awkward.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:49:40 – For those keeping track, this ending of the film has now passed the 10 minute mark. Why? Because it can.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:51:40 – That’s right! There’s still more in this ending. We need to explore The Baywatch.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:52:00 – OH FOR CHRIST SAKES JUST END IT ALREADY!

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:52:20 – I think Ben Stiller should show up in this scene as Simple Jack, saying, “Yuh-yuh-you make muh pee pee tingle.”

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:53:00 – Let’s hope she’s retarded too. She kinda looks it.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:54:00 – Even Ben Affleck can’t believe how awful this ending is.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:54:00 – This ending just keeps dragging more and more, and getting even more awkward.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:55:00 – For once I just wish a movie would have the balls to have all the characters randomly killed.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:55:30 – More endings? Hobbits take less time to end a movie than these wannabe gangsters.

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:56:00 – Jesus, even the extended edition of the return of the king’s ending isn’t this drawn out!

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:57:00 – A choir singing as they ride off in the sunset? Was this supposed to be a religious documentary?

AronDej: #giglitweet 1:57:10 – and now to ride of into the sunset with a completely ridiculous Lion King-esque score.

kevincarr: #giglitweet 1:57:25 – And ROLL CREDITS! Not a moment too soon. Really, far from a moment too soon.

kevincarr: RT @AronDej: #giglitweet – 5:00 – Not really that bad so far, to be honest. (Did the other 1:55:00 of the film change your mind?)

AronDej: #giglitweet – JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST! Its finally over… the endings to this movie made it worse than it ever would have been.

AronDej: #giglitweet HOW GIGLI SHOULD HAVE ENDED: At 1:37:00-ish they ride off into the sunset, and their car crashes due to a Hummer driving wildly.

kevincarr: Final thoughts on #giglitweet: I disagree with Roger Ebert… LEGALLY BLONDE 2 and DUMB AND DUMBERER were masterpieces compared to it.

AronDej: #giglitweet with the only survivor being JLo’s ass.

Thanks to @AronDej for joining in on a late-night live-tweet.

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The ‘Batman & Robin’ Live-Tweet

Kevin Carr — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 10:36:23 +0000

On November 21, Kevin was joined by @AronDej, @StellarReviews, @FyodorFish and @carcarr819 to live-tweet Joel Schumacher’s Batman & Robin, the multi-million dollar turkey that killed the Batman movies in the late 1990s. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

kevincarr: Turkey #8 is… “BATMAN & ROBIN,” Joel Schumacher’s assassination of the franchise. #kevincarrtweetsturkeys #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 00:30 – Not sucking so far… Oops Chris O’Donnell’s credit just came up. Scratch that.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet :058 Alternate title: Attack of the Codpieces.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 01:17 – Ass shot #1.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 01:19 – Ass shot #2.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:23 The leather butt shot was not necessary

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 01:40 – Why does the Batmobile now look like a vibrator?

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 2:12 The BatMobile: not exactly a stealth vehicle, eh?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 2:17 The first words in the movie “I want a car.” You know it’s gonna be great than.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 02:30 – Joel Schumacher… always to be remembered for nipples on the freaking Batsuit.

kirk13: #batmanrobintweet Superman reference can’t even save it.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 2:50 So wait, Robin only gets a motorcycle? Bruce Wayne: cheapskate.

kirk13: #batmanrobintweet 03:00 – By the time the batcycle gets unveiled, Batman’s halfway cross town.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 03:10 – Not only does Robin not get a car… he doesn’t even get a helmet. Is Batman sending a message?

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 3:58 “The Iceman Cometh.” The first of many, many bad one-liners.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet Not only did Arnold get top billing, he also received a cool $25 mil for t/role of Mr. Freeze.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 4:05 yelling several of the same threats to a huge blue man makes so much sense.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 04:20 – Arnold’s dialogue alrady makes me want to punch a puppy.

kirk13: #batmanrobintweet Didn’t Joker already destroy the Gotham Museum of Art in the first movie?

kirk13: #batmanrobintweet – 4:49 – Why is a giant diamond being held at the Museum of Art?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 04:50 – Why does Mr. Freeze have glowing blue boobies?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 5:00 My new motto “There is only one absolute… Everything freezes.” Sweet.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 5:27 STARLIGHT EXPRESS called. They want their extras back.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 5:30 Arnold. Stop talking. Please. I’m scared after watching this movie again it will make me… Sound like this.

kirk13: #batmanrobintweet – 5:30 – Whoever introduced Joel Schumacher to wire work should be shot.

carcarr819: The rollerblading henchmen remind me of the flying moneys from Wizard of Oz. #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 06:00 – Ice hockey henchmen. This would pose a logistics problem.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 06:50 – These fight scenes are like a fine ballet. And by “ballet,” I mean donkey porno.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 7:00 Wow how did Batman AND Robin know they’d need ice skates on their boots? Smart thinking.

carcarr819: Chris O’Donnell, you are so witty!#batmanrobintweet

kirk13: #batmanrobintweet – Okay, as much as I love you, @kevincarr, I can’t take any more. Have fun.

current_movies: Hah. I expect comedy fron this RT @FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 2:12 The BatMobile: not exactly a stealth vehicle, eh?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 07:40 – If Mr. Freeze is a new villain, why do BM & R have ice skates already in their boots?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 8:00. Bad, bad wannabe jokes. Scary.

kevincarr: @kirk13 Sorry to see you go. #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 08:20 – erm… I’m pretty sure that the Ice Age did not, in fact, kill the dinosaurs.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 8:35 Turning a diamond into a hockey puck looks fun.

carcarr819: God, the one-liners sound like a 12-year-old found a joke book in the school library and then wrote a movie. #batmanrobintweet

norestrictions: NO!!! No more Batman movies by Schumaker RT @FyodorFish #batmanrobintweet 3:58 “The Iceman Cometh.” The first of many, many bad one-liners.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 9:26 Thinking I should be watching FLASH GORDON (‘80) instead.

kevincarr: @FyodorFish Ooohhh… we should really put that one on the list. #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 09:50 – Hold onto that giant dildo, Robin. You can do it!

MaryaMurphy: What are the odds of two Batman and Robin livetweets in one day? Crazy-ass odds, is the technical term. #batmanrobintweet #brschu

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 10:30 Sorry, no, the laws of gravity and/or physics don’t bend like that.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 10:50 – Please, vacuum of space, please kill Robin.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 10:57 “Freeze, you’re mad.” Wow, thank Captain Obvious. I mean, Batman.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 11:00 A “Bat-Bomb?” Yep, that about sums up BATMAN & ROBIN. Now, they’re sky-surfing. Cowa-what?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 12:30 – They’re not even trying to make that diamond look real.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 12:51 falling to Earth on a snowboard is safe, kids.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 13:50 – Arnold is really trying to enunciate here. Really, really trying.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 13:54 Birdboy is the perfect name for Robin!

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 14:25 I see the wall of ice X-Men made. At least they did it better.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 15:00 – The frozen Robin mannequin is a better actor than Chris O’Donnell.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 16:06 The only chick talking to herself. Awesome.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 16:10 Super-soldier serum, Venom? I thought this was DC not Marvel. Nice branding too (flask: “Venom”).

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 17:01 That is a safe operation table. Who needs sanitizer?

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 17:11 Enter t/poor excuse for BANE. More codpiece action (for those in that sort of thing).

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 17:16 Is that Fidel Castro? I think it is. Man, I thought he had better taste in movies.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 18:15 – Yes, the evil people in the world include an Arab, an Idi Amin look-alike and a Japanese dude. No offense taken.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 18:33 I didn’t know the HULK was in here too!

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 19:10 Note to self: never threaten a madman w/freaky hair, esp. in a lab crowded with toxins.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 19:45 – Plot? Who needs a plot?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 19:56 Not teaching High School Chemistry is an insult to any scientist anywhere!

carcarr819: You insult an evil genius and expect him to let you live to tell anyone? Idiot! #batmanrobintweet

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 20:39 Freeze backstory reminds me of t/ABOMINABLE MR. PHIBES.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 20:40 – Good thing Poison Ivy is trying to make plants that have venon. Because no one has ever heard of poisonous plants

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 21:12 If Mr. Freeze was so smart, why does he talk like a complete moron?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 21:25 – “Here’s where everything goes north”??? They can’t even get their cliches right.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 21:29 “That’s gotta hurt.” LMFAO. That was the funniest thing Chris said so far.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 21:49 A whole lot of head-shakin’ going on there, Mr. Clooney.
ch?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 22:15 Snowman was better than Mr. Freeze too… Should have been Batman, Birdboy and Snowman.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 22:50 – Batman sounds exactly like Fantastic Mr. Fox. Amazing!

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 23:18 Alfred was always my favorite.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 23:20 Enter Poison Ivy. Uma never looked better. Sax on t/soundtrack blows, though (sorry, couldn’t resist).

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 24:19 sending hazardous material is perfectly fine through the mail.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 24:45 – Oh… oh my god… Uma… don’t OD, though, please!

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 25:48 Enter: The only woman talking to herself again. However, she lost the glasses and has lovely intro music.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 26:00 – Anybody find it a bit ironic that Uma’s performance in this is Pulpier than her performance in Pulp Fiction?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 26:10 – “It’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature.” I’d say about 70 percent of the dialogue is cliches.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 26:40 – “The Year Without a Santa Claus” clip… best thing about the movie. And then there’s Arnold. It’s ruined now.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 27:08 It’s always Christmas with Mr. Freeze. I don’t see presents though.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 27:22 Yep, there’s that DR. PHIBES vibe again.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 27:35 – Back when Vivica Fox was still a fox.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 27:55 – Isn’t it counterproductive for Mr. Freeze to smoke?

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 27:53 To think, Alicia Silverstone would never look lovelier. Hey, whatever happened to her?

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 28:40 Yeah, no. Barbara as Alfred’s niece? No, not cool, not cool at all.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 28:55 Quality time with Mr. Freeze sounds awesome in a glass tank where you can’t hear him.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 29:15 – Alicia Silverstone in a school girl outfit? I’m suddenly interested in this movie.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 30:02 Are we watching Clueless?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 30:50 – Is it just me, or is Alfred pulling Barbara’s hand close to his crotch

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 31:00 – “Maybe I’ll show you how to ride it some time” Like Batman taught you how to ride his?

carcarr819: @StellarReviews We could only be so lucky. #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 31:40 – Barbara is the Kato Kaelin of Wayne Manor.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 31:58 Silverstone in alll-leather gear? Why, no there’s nothing wrong w/that.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 32:10 – We’re more than a half hour into the movie, and they keep introducing storylines. WTF?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 32:46 Alfred’s nickname was Sweet Margaret? Did I miss something?

StellarReviews: @kevincarr #batmanrobintweet I still have no idea what’s going on and there’s an hour and a half left!

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 33:30 – A multimillion dollar mansion… you’d think they could afford screens.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 33:55 – I think I just saw the Mach 5

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 34:30 – Christ Joel… I mean… could you stop it with the statues? We knew you were gay when you directed Lost Boys.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 35:00 Poison Ivy, raging eco-terrorist. Can’t give a good speech to save anyone’s (or anything’s) life, though.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 35:42 George Clooney scared of marriage. That doesn’t seem right.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 35:50 – Oh, Elle MacPherson, following in the acting footsteps of Cindy Crawford

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 36:05 I’m confused… I thought Uma put on a short wig?

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 37:00 Watching Arnold try to emote. It’s not working.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 37:00 – Poison Ivy calling Al Gore.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 37:28 Uma went to crazy, then hott crazy, then nerdy crazy. I’m confused with her mood swings.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 37:30 – “Primordial Soup”? I’m suddenly hungry for soup.

kevincarr: @AronDej This has got to be killing you to watch Uma. #batmanrobintweet

carcarr819: BM&R 38:35 Poison Ivy talking to herself in a public place and NOBODY notices? #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 39:00 – Mr. Freeze is sparkly. Maybe he’s a vampire.

StellarReviews: BAHAH. HA. RT @kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 39:00 – Mr. Freeze is sparkly. Maybe he’s a vampire.

AronDej: @kevincarr She’s the highlight of the movie, at this point. #batmanrobintweet

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 40:00 Hmm, might have to revisit KING KONG vs. GODZILLA next.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 40:05 – Wow… there’s nothing offensive at all about the tribal rainforest dance here.

AronDej: @StellarReviews I’d never say that. Uma isn’t a skanky stuck up bimbo who cant act. #batmanrobintweet

StellarReviews: @FyodorFish I think Alicia played in a show that was cancelled sometime. I could be wrong. lol. #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 41:00 – Think of all the rapin’ and a-murderin’ that’s going on with Batman & Robin at the charity event.

StellarReviews: @AronDej ok, good. That’s all then. I loved Uma in Kill Bill and pretty much everything else. #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 41:40 – Is this the “Save the Rainforest Prostitute Auction”/

carcarr819: BM&R 41:50 Wait, did I miss something? Are they auctioning off these women? #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 42:00 – I would love to have been a fly on the wall during the prostitute auction/gorilla dance pitch at WB.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 42:00 – You kno, If I saw a dancing pink gorilla, I’d be pretty hypnotized too. Especially if Uma Thurman came out of it.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 42:12 Were those fake nipples? Or her real ones through the outfit? I’m confused.

kevincarr: @StellarReviews They’re real. Robin secretly milks Batman in the cave every night. #batmanrobintweet

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 43:30 FOREVER: “Never leave t/Batcave w/o it.” Ugh. Better one-liners, please. I know, I won’t get them.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 43:30 – Real subtle, joel.

StellarReviews: @kevincarr Nice, awesome. Why didn’t they show that? It would have made the movie better. #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 43:35 – There’s more glittering chests in this movie than the entire TWILIGHT saga.

StellarReviews: RT @kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 43:35 – There’s more glittering chests in this movie than the entire TWILIGHT saga.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 44:20 – You know, Uma, you should lay off red hair for now on. It only puts you in bad movies.

carcarr819: BM&R 44:48 Poison Ivy’s dialog is a bit vulgar. Talking about “tending her garden” and “honey pot”. Whoa! #batmanrobintweet

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 44:49 Her sex music and offering everything you see and don’t… This wasn’t for children?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 45:00 – One million dollars!

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 45:25 – Fuck. You. Joel.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 45:25 I need a Batman Credit Card!

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 45:25 – Christ on a crutch… a Batman credit card. Kill me now.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 46:25 Did Bane just say “monkey work?” I think he did. 46:35 Whoa, get a load of that statute’s pecs! Ahem.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 46:30 The sax was for a few notes? WTF?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 46:55 – Mr. Freeze’s boobs look like Bob’s Bitch Tits from Fight Club.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 47:00 Heat a man’s blood… Hmmm… I think the did not mean blood in this particular scene.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 47:40 The over use of “cool” “chill” and anything related to cold is… I don’t know.

kevincarr: @carcarr819 I’ll tend your garden, honey pot. #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 48:40 – Bain just lost a ton of cool points ofr the pink gorilla outfit.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 48:44 Too much whining going on. Not digging t/faux-conflict between Batman & Robin.

StellarReviews: @FyodorFish Actually I think her speech is the only talking I can stand in this movie. Even if she’s talking to herself. #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 49:30 – Okay… this chase scene if officially redonkulous.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 50:10 – Nice face, Robin. Brwahhhhhhh!

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 50:57 Nice stompling around like a 5 year old, Birdboy.

carcarr819: BM&R 51:00 Wasn’t it more dangerous to disable Robin’s bike and risk falling off the statue than letting him try the jump? #batmanrobintweet

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 51:00 – Trouble and gay paradise…. er, I mean…. no, nevermind, that’s what I meant.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 51:25 – “Robin and Batman”??? Are we back to the Cheese-and-Macaroni argument again?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 51:30 Is this a father son talk, or a lover talk?

StellarReviews: @carcarr819 I was going to say… the Batmobile can make it but not a bike? Yea, ok. #batmanrobintweet

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 52:30 Wait, Jesse “The Brain” Ventura was in BATMAN & ROBIN? How did I not know this until now.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 53:00 – Whoa, is this movie getting deep? I totally zoned out for a momnet.

StellarReviews: @kevincarr #batmanrobintweet I had no idea too. I was just thinking if I could get up and get a drink would I miss anything? lol

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 53:40 – This scene brought to you by jay Leno’s garage.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 54:30 LOST BOYS, now w/Day-Glo!

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 54:35 – Ok, Arkham Asylum does look pretty cool. Then again, i love Art Deco and Gothic architecture.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 54:55 – Mr. Freeze is already at Arkham Asylum? The justice system works fast in Gotham.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 55:25 – And thanks, Arnold, for ruining that.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 55:30 – Captain Kirk acting by Arnold in this scene.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 55:40 are his eyes red? Nice.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 56:00 – Was that Jesse Ventura in this scene. All we need is Clint Eastwood, and we’d have the trifecta of politicians

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 57:00 Is that t/sound of Bruce Wayne coming out of t/closet? BATMAN & ROBIN is fanfic after all.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 57:00 – That neon make up is cool, actually.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 57:00 – Because all gangs in Gotham paint themselves with fluorescent paint & hang out unde blacklights.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 57:45 – I could swear they’ve ripped some of this music straight from ALIENS. Not cool.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 58:28 What is this floor? Let’s break it and find out.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 58:30 – Is she squatting to poop?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 59:17 Honey. Company. A man who doesn’t talk in this movie except in one word sentences. I vote best script!

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 59:30 – Ah, a so-called romantic scene… my cue to get some more booze.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 59:48 – Like, sleeping with your sidekick(s), right?

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:00:15 – Cue the music from Teen Witch.

carcarr819: What is Uma doing with her voice? Not exactly an accent but quite annoying just the same. #batmanrobintweet

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:00:20 What is with the random sax notes and women talking in deep voices? I’m scared.

carcarr819: BM&R 1:00:50 Fantasizing about Uma Thurman when you’re kissing Elle MacPherson? What the hell is wrong with this guy? #batmanrobintweet

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:01:46 Yes, more blonde/red wigs, gothics, and crazy lights.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:01:50 – Back to Gotham’s fluorescent gangland.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet – 1:01:58 – ACO reference… ok, you get points for that, Schumacher.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:02:30 Why is the “Banker” the only black guy I see? And he has a gun. No offense, just curious.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:02:53 Nice move Batboy, getting rid of your helmet while hanging upside down. Oh and Barbara’s hanging on to you.

AronDej: @carcarr819 I don’t know… I’d rather date Mia Wallace than some random model from SIRENS. #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:03:50 – This motorcycle chase scene is as significant as tits on a boar… or tits on a Batsuit or bitch tits on Mr F.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:04 Weird lighting on Alicia’s lower jaw 2x or does she (did she) have a bad skin condition? Yeah, I’m superficial.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:05:45 – Let her drop… please…

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:05:55 Yea, leave me hanging, I know you got me.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:07:04 And thus begins t/greatest supervillain collaboration of all time. Or not.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:07:35 – Bruce can tell Alfred’s dying just by knowing him? Is he a Batpsychic?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:08:30 Icehead is a better name, too. Oh the saxes.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:08:40 – The security at Arkham Asylum sucks. Period.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:09:00 – Anybody else notice the numerous SS like uniforms in this movie?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:09:06 WHAT is underneath her outfit? Her chest looks weird.

AronDej: @StellarReviews I think its a good actress trying to claw her way out of a bad movie #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: @carcarr819 @StellarReviews Or leaves. She is the earth mother, after all. #batmanrobintweet

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:10:51 Bad, bad jokes again. Grab your rocks. LOL.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:11:40 – Does Mr. Freeze have any dialogue that isn’t a pun based on freezing or cold?

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:11:57 – Oh my god. Their voices.. that effect… christ all mighty. Should couldn’t even TRY to scream like Mia?

carcarr819: @StellarReviews I think they wanted to say “get your rocks off” but even THEY couldn’t make it work. #batmanrobintweet

StellarReviews: @carcarr819 Get your rocks off would have been great! #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:12:50 – Alfred’s only regret is that he starred in all four of these shitty Batman movies. (Well, the 2nd was good)

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:13:32 What’s this about “anatomically correct rubber suits?” Inquiring minds (don’t) want to know.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:14:03 I am so over her after spending $4MIL on my Batman Credit Card.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:14:17-ish – Don’t you guys prefer twigs and berries more?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:14:36 My lungs are freezing and I take deep breaths to scream about it!!!

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:14:45 – SPOILER ALERT: Here’s the plot-point lead-in for a crappy coincidence ending.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:14:50 Bat and Bird. The Bird in the…

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:15 Nose-plugs, Batman? Robin? You know, to filter out Poison Ivy’s pheromones?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:15:40 – In the Gotham polcie academy, they teach you to just stand there and not fight back against anything… ever.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:16:13 Robin’s going solo. And this ends a gay romance for t/ages.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:16:55 – Nipples on the Batsuit is bad enough… referencing it in the script is just stupid.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:17:20 – Bitch is lying! You have to pay extra for the Bane action figure!

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:17:25 I just realized the horns on her head. I saw them, but I just realized they were from Madonna’s outfit circa 80s.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:17:38 I almost feel for Mr. Freeze. That ice-tear? Talk about pathos. Or not.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:19:10 Adam…and Evil. Okay, yeah, I laughed at that line. Moment of weakness.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:19:20 – Dee-lish… Chris O’Donnell ice-cream wrestling.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:20:12 Who needs a frigid wife anyway? She’s a homewrecker, too.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:20:15 – “Who needs a frigid wife, anyway?” Ummmm… no comment.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:20:30 – Did Uma Thurman just turn into the flamboyant christmas version of Cousin It?

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:20:48 Ah, so that’s t/problem. A Robin signal in t/sky. That’s all Robin really wants.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:21:10 – The real crime in this film: Arnold emoting grief.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:22:00 – Good thing I have this handy snow globe here for props and effect.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:22:09 They’re bigger.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:23:40 – MacGregor’s Syndrome… both Alfred & Mrs. Freeze. Coincidence???

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet I interviewed Chris O’Donnell last year, and he said he still gets recognized as Robin and finds it kinda funny.

StellarReviews: @kevincarr That’s just sad LOL. #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:25:30 – Alfred’s brother is Wilfred. Was his father named Manfred?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:25:50 – My guilty pleasure in movies… overacting extras.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:26:41 I think I spotted some genuine emotion. Exchange of “I love you’s” between Bruce + Alfred.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:27:00 – You sure aren’t no Gary Oldman.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:27:00 – Watching Commission Gordon hoping to get laid is pretty gross.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:27:20 – George Clooney… smell-the-fart acting.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:27:30 Aww that was that sad part in the movie. He’s not too old for poison ivy!

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:28 “Peg” as Password? Really?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:29:20 – Why is Alfred suddenly bedridden? How quickly does this disease progress?

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:30 Bomb, bomb, bomb….tonight, hell freezes…okay, stop, I can’t take it anymore.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:31:10 – Try RAMSES

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:31:40 – That was the sexiest “Access Allowed” I have ever heard.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:31:52 It’s…it’s ALFRED HEADROOM….yeah, I’m waxing nostalgic for MAX HEADROOM.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:32:23 It IS the size of your gun that counts. The best line of the movie for Arnold.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:32:30 – Joel Schumacher is apparently a size queen.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:32:50 – “She wants to kill you, Dick.” I have to admit, that is a pretty great line.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:33:15 – “I’m asking you… friend, partner, brother…” ambiguously gay lover?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:34:15 – Thanks, Bane for letting me know those are bombs.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:34:50 – I have to admit, I do really like this score.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:35:25 – First Vicky Vale, now the niece who steals motorbikes and competes in illegal street racing. Alfred sucks.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:35:30 Batgirl’s first line: “You’re about to become compost.” Really? That was t/best they could come up with? Damn.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:35:55 It’s Back to the Future… but not Michael Jackson.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:36:12 – What, no cod piece for her, too?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:36:15 – Batgirl camel toe AND ass shot #3.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet ALL – You know, that’s pretty bad when Arnie does a better job displaying emotion when playing a Robot, than when…

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet actual human characters.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:37:28 Saxes are back. Is this a sex cave?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:38:29 Rubber protects against poison.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:38:50 – Lip condoms? What a great manufacturing idea!

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:39:00 – Did she have to wear contacts for this? Or does she actually have green eyes?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:39:02 They’re even bigger.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:39:25 – Does Uma Thurman put this on her resume or headshot?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:39:45 You both give us a bad name.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:40:40 Wasn’t she just sitting in that chair? …

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:40:40 – “Curses”? Curses? Does anyone say that outside of old 40’s western movies?

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:40:40 – REALLY? That’s how Poison Ivy dies? This is an insult to Uma Thurman!

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:42 I don’t remember Alicia Sliverstone’s line readings being so flat, but flat they are.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:42:15 – Real classy Joel, real classy.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:42:20 – Dog peeing on a fire hydrant. Wow. Next we’ll have a fart joke.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:43:00 – They have a Bat-zamboni? Who planned that one?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:46:00 – This movie literally has a count-down timer for its climax. Are we watching an old Star Trek episode?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:46:38 Ummm Robin screams more like a girl then… Batgirl. And she saves the day with no punishment training.

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:47:05 – Who are these random scientists I guess I’m supposed to care about?

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:48 Hey, what’s w/all t/silver on t/Bat-Costumes? Did I miss something?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:48:20 Well, that was easy.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:48:00 – I wish I could have sat in on the ADR sessions for this film. It would have been hilarious.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:48:45 – “The heat is on”? Oh holy God. Who wrote this?

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:49:00 Was that supposed to be funny?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:49:45 – Is there a sexual significance of the giant phallic telescope ejaculating heat all over Gotham?

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:50:20 So umm, shouldn’t he have been called Dr. Freeze, not Mr. Freeze?

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:51 Don’t you dig how experimental drugs in movies always, you know, glow?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:51:35 NEED A RIDE. On my belt. With everyone else.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:51:50 – “That’s take a computer genius.” Who said that either Robin or Batgirl were computer geniuses?

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:52:05 – Well, yeah, men DO kine of need to do ‘things’ the HARD way.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:53:15 – Thank god the dog is no longer stuck in frozen pee mode. That is a relief!

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:53:21 Everyone came out of cryo alive instantly!

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet 1:53:53 Ah, t/Three Musketeers moments. Almost made me tear up. False alarm: allergies acting up.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:53:55 – An early model of the iPhone, Batman style.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:54:45 – I think I prefer the crappy dialogue to the trying-to-be-sincere dialogue.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:55:20 – It’s rather convenient that Mr. Freeze keeps the miracle cure with him at all times.

carcarr819: 1:56:00 How convenient that Alfred’s IV contraption was outfitted to receive Dr. Freeze’s test-tubes? #batmanrobintweet

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:56:23 why is Robin in his suit but batgirl is clothed?

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 1:56:50 – I thought she was dead?

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:56:55 Aww crazy girl with glitter… Party is over.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:57:40 – An 80-room mansion, and Barbara has to sleep on the couch?

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:58:35 – This is the Mike Brady “What did we learn today?” moment.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet 1:59:10 A Threesome. Finally!

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:59;30 – Running down the corridor… sign of a non-quality Schumacher BAtman movie.

kevincarr: #batmanrobintweet 1:59:45 – And ROLL CREDITS!

AronDej: #batmanrobintweet 2:00:00 – The Smashing Pumpkins song might be the best thing about this movie.

StellarReviews: #batmanrobintweet THANK YOU It’s over. PS – Ty Watchman for making this song one I love now.

kevincarr: Final thoughts on BATMAN & ROBIN: Holy cinematic Bat-turd! The nipples on the suit were the least of its problems. #batmanrobintweet

StellarReviews: @FyodorFish he should have had a lot of names. #batmanrobintweet

kevincarr: @FyodorFish It’s like RE-ANIMATOR, only blue instead of green. #batmanrobintweet

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet Batman, Robin, & Batgirl running straight at t/camera. And that’s a wrap on B&R and t/first Batman franchise.

FyodorFish: #batmanrobintweet It’s practically a miracle Clooney’s career survived B&R. Lesser men would have quit acting right there and then.

A big thanks to @FyodorFish @AronDej @StellarReviews & @carcarr819 for joining in on the #batmanrobintweet!

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