The ‘Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie’ Live-Tweet
On December 4, Kevin finished up his turkey leftovers when he was joined by @AronDej to live-tweet Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.
kevincarr: Preparing to live-tweet GARBAGE PAIL KIDS: THE MOVIE with @AronDej. Pray for us. #garbagepailtweet
kevincarr: Turkey #14 is “GARBAGE PAIL KIDS: THE MOVIE,” the final leftover of my Thanksgiving gluttony. #kevincarrtweetsturkeys #garbagepailtweet
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 00:30 – Already 80s retro titles. God, was this cool at one time?
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 0:45 – This opening title is worse than XANADU’s.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 01:00 – MacKenzie Austin? Could be worse… it could be Mackenzie phillips.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 01:30 – Only in the Garbage Pail Kids Movie would the credits list characters like Lucy Vomit.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 02:00 Jesus. Its worse than I ever could have imagined. And we’re on;y 2 1/2 minutes it.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 02:20 – That looks like the escape pod from STAR WARS.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 0:3:10 – Is that a McDonald’s food storage can?
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 04:10 – These voices are already getting on my last nerve.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 04:30 – A pulsating garbage can. Poor Oscar
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 0:4:50 – These noises are absolutely vile.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 0:5:10 – And so is this…
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 05:15 – Bouncy bouncy!
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 05:55 – 20 somethings attack a 11 year old. Classy.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 06:00 – The image of street gangs in the late 80s are pertty terrifying. Mesh tank tops and all.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 6:25 – DEAR GOD. The worst laugh known to man!
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 06:30 – The street gang from @PeopleofWalmart folks.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 07:00 – “You smell like a fire hydrant”??? WTF?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 07:30 – “Have I ever forbidden you to touch any of my treasures?” Probably not… especially the ones in your pants
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 07:50 – And this has… what relevance to the plot?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 08:00 – So if they’re not supposed to touch the slimy garbage pail, why is it in the middle of the frakking room?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 08:40 – So he uses magic to wash clothes… not to heal the sick or feed the poor?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 10:00 – I’m pretty sure that Captain Manzini is a child molester.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 10:00 – Thank you for this completely irrelevant morality speech.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 10:30 – A prediction of the future? Pandora? Avatar = Garbage?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 10:40 – “Think of this as Pandora’s pail.” I’m thinking of this movie as Pandora’s DVD.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 11:06 – The girl in the blue leopard print leotard is called Tangerine. ‘Cause she’s a dream?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 12;15 – Ah, a hair sniffer. That’s not creepy at all.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 12:40 – Why is this street gang worried about this 14-year-old kid?
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 12:50 – You’re 14 and almost 15? Holy christ.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 13:35 – In the 80s, funky basketball tricks distracted people so you could hurt them and escape.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 13:45 – I haven’t seen fight choreography like this since CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 14:30 – Whoa, that’s a whole lotta thigh-ass to be stuffed into fishnets.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 15:10 – These people sure are going to extreme measures for a wimpy 14 year old.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 15:46 – Uh… does that seem like she was doing something else there?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 15:55 – So the sewer has direct lines to the City Zoo, the Dog Pound and the CIA? Diff’rent poops for diff’rent folks.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 16:40 – Oh god… help us… help us all.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 17:00 – A farting baby. That’s my review of the film… it’s a baby fart at best.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 18:00 – I think George Lucas should remaster this movie with digital garbage pail kids.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 18:20 – These things are just unbelievably disturbing looking.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 19:00 – Uh… could you EVER get that stuff? A shadow of your smile? WTF.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 19:35 – I don’t even think the puppets’ mouths are moving, let alone in synch.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 20:00 – So Nat Nerd is ugly, wears glasses and pees himself. Since when do nerds pee themselves?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 21:00 – Captain Manzini seems a little too eager to bathe the 14-year-old boy.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 21:54 – Um…… I’m pretty sure this is illegal.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 22:00 – 2nd fart joke of the movie. Includes boogers, urine and vomit jokes. EVen for me, this is a bit much.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 22:35 – “greed, painfulness” So ugliness is this movie.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 23:20 – You know, I’m not a shallow person, but if i met these things, don’t-judge-a-book-by-its-cover be damned.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 24:00 – Tangerine has yet to wear something orange. maybe she’s called Tangerine because that’s her cup size.
MrPookieBlack: @kevincarr What an odd choice for a holiday flick #garbagepailtweet
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 25:00 – This girl drives like I do.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 24:50 – As NC said, “Did she jst wait until nighttime 2 answer his question? Good luck playing password w/ this bitch”
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 25:40 – So the girl leading a life of crime is selling… clothes?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 26:30 – Tangerine is literally selling the shirt off her back. Can I buy the bra for $12?
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 27:04 – Oh yes I have seen bad. I’m watching this movie, aren’t I?
kevincarr: @MrPookieBlack Yeah, it’s my last Thanksgiving turkey. I’ll get my holiday movies set up this weekend on the FG site. #garbagepailtweet
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 27:40 – So this guy is her clothing pimp? He could learn a thing or two from Butters.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 28:20 – Wait what? How the hell does that even work?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 29:35 – I actually own a pair of heart boxers… only the hearts are smaller.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 30:00 – Can a Pepsi truck really flatten a car like that?
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 30:15 – That is quite possibly the worst joke I’ve ever heard.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 31:00 – Please… please make these voices stop.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 31:15 – The Garbage Pail Kids got hungover from eating hot dogs and drinking Pepsi? Erm… okay.
MrPookieBlack: You hear them too!? RT @AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 31:00 – Please… please make these voices stop.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 32:00 – My god. They make clothing uglier than themselves.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 32:00 – That looks like a Michael Jackson outfit. More child molester jokes, apparently.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 33:45 – So this movie uses clothes as a symbol for sex.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 33:55 – @kevincarr This makes the 30 somethings loving Taylor Lautner seem normal.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 34:40 – “Look out for Juice!” That’s the gang member’s name? Juice? Strikes fear in the hearts of 14-year-old boys.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 34:50 – Aww… she’s falling in love. What a pedo.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 36:00 – Holy crap nuggets. A musical number?
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 36:01 – NO… NO NO NO!!!!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 36:40 – The GPKs were originally made to spoof Cabbage Patch Dolls. And the movie gives a cutsie positive message. Lame!
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 36:40 -Even WAL-MART doesn’t deserve to be robbed by these monstrosities.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 37:40 – My god. Wait? Did I say that? I mean, No, there is no god. Its official.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 38:35 – So the moral to this movie is you should lie, cheat and steal to get the pretty slutty girl?
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 38:50 – Who came up with these awful names?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 39:00 – “How are things below stairs?” I’m only 50% sure he’s talking about the kids downstairs.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 39:30 – This is truly painful…
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 40:05 – I honestly feel really bad for this child actor. I’m betting he fell into a sea of drugs after this.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 41:30 – If I have to watch the pimply nerd wet his pants one more time, I’m going to punch the TV.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 41:35 – Yeah? Well, you’re the only one.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 42:30 – The Kids are dressed as French Resistance fighters. Those are supposed to be disguises, apparently.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 43:00 – Really? Nobody in the theater finds this bizarre in the least?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 43:30 – @carcarr819 just came into the room, looked at the TV and said, “I’m going to have to go before I barf.”
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 43:45 – They couldn’t even use the original music to the three stooges?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 44:30 – If I had a gun to my head and was forced to explain the plot… I would be shot in the head.
AronDej: @kevincarr Tell her she’ll at least be in good company with Valerie Vomit. #garbagepailtweet
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 45:35 – Ali Gator has a foot fetish, but he seems to only like those of 14-year-old boys and biker dudes.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 46:00 – I could swear I just saw @rejects among the patrons of this fake tough guy bar.
MrPookieBlack: @kevincarr A friend of mine has the entire set of GPK Trading Cards #garbagepailtweet
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 47:25 – This movie isn’t making a very good argument on not judging people based on their looks.
kevincarr: @AronDej Was he the one who got his mustache blown off with a fart? #garbagepailtweet
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 48:00 – So they’re drinking beer. Is this a kids’ movie? Now the GPKs ride with the Sons of Anarchy.
AronDej: @kevincarr Yup, I think that was him. Boy he sure didn’t look very different in the 80s, did he? #garbagepailtweet
kevincarr: @MrPookieBlack Has he seen this movie? It might inspire him to burn them all. #garbagepailtweet
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 50:00 – Why is it okay for this magician to keep kids trapped in a garbage pail anyway?
MrPookieBlack: @kevincarr He loves the movie. Go figure. #garbagepailtweet
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 51:30 – This movie is not above making poop a weapon of ass destruction.
AronDej: @MrPookieBlack Tell him he can DIAF. #garbagepailtweet
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 52:50 – I really do hope they all just die. I mean brutally die. Guts flying, bones being ripped out, everything.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 53:15 – The State Home for the Ugly? I’d support a place like that.
MrPookieBlack: @AronDej Not until he pays me back money he owes me. lol #garbagepailtweet
AronDej: @kevincarr I’d only support it if these were the things going in. #garbagepailtweet Other than that, its just horrible.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 55:00 – Why has no one noticed these ugly-catchers catching ugly kids with nets? This movie makes no sense.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 55:25 – Actually, it looks more like an inner city school. Which I guess is a prison, really.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 56:15 – Why is it okay for Dodger to make the GPKs manufacture his clothes, but is the State Home for the Ugly bad?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 57:20 – I’m pretty sure we’re watching something illegal now. How old is Tangerine, and what is she promising Dodger?
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 57:55 – Let me get this straight, you’d be willing to kill a 14 year old because he’s making ugly cloths with your GF?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 59:10 – This must be an unauthorized biopic of Kathy Lee Gifford.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 59:45 – I’d pretty much have the same reaction as her.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:00:30 – So now, instead of clothes being a metaphor 4 sex, Tangerine’s clothes scam is a metaphor 4 the record industry
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:01:00 – Would you buy clothes from a girl wearing a leotard with a traffic sign print?
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:01:01 – Wowwwwwwww. How did they even get away with that?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:01:55 – These aren’t even fart jokes. They’re just farts.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:02:40-With the kids drinking beer and playing doctor, plus the child molester undertones, I reject this as a family film
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:05:15 – A montage! Things seem much faster in a montage!
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:05:25 – Wow. That was the shortest montage in any movie ever.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:06:19 – Jesus christ almight. This woman is a W-H-O-R-E
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:06:45 – They’re going to sneak out as clowns? Like clowns at a fashion show are completely normal.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:07:50 – A 14 year old boy that’s more concerned about his friends than his penis? Blasphemy!
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:09:20 – If I could, I would take an axe to these hideous beings. I’m serious, if I ever saw one of this….
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:09:50 – Seriously? Another mesh tank top? I’ve gotta get one of those.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet …I’d rip it to freaking shreads!
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:11:25 – So two of the GPKs can defeat an entire biker gang, but all fo them can’t stop 3 mesh-wearing punks?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:12:15 – I’m pretty sure that’s a dude playing one of the runway models.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:12:17 – And your hair is any better?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:12:50 – So they pay for uglies at the State Home for the Ugly? @PeopleofWalmart would make a killing.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:13:20 – This is just terrible.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:13:45 – Why is Santa Claus in the State Home for the Ugly?
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:14:42 – OH MY GOD YES! That sounds awesome!
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:16:10 – So Dodger is on his way to becoming a gay back-up singer?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:16:50 – The clothes pimp ain’t happy with his bottom bitch.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:17:10 – Oh yeah, that’ll keep him down.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:18:25 – “I think we might be too late!” “But we can still get the bad guys!” This dialogue doesn’t even make sense.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:19:00 – They didn’t even make any sense.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:19:20 – “guava butter tones”? That’s a real color in the fashion world?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:21:25 – Not only do I hope the GPKs aren’t sprung from the State Home for the Ugly, I’m rooting for the guards.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:22:25 – Just when you think there have been too many farts in people’s faces, this movie takes it up a notch.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:24:00 – It’s good to see the Sons of Anarchy helping out the less fortunate.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:26:30 – What’s going on? Oh yeah, I don’t care.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:27:25 – The fashion show sequence in BRUNO was much funnier. Less snot. Less peeing of the pants. Less gay.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1;28:00 – This shall forever be known as the great fashion show brawl of 1987.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:28:35 – Seriously? More farting? Even I’m getting tired of it, and I love fart humor.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:28:45 – Pure class right there.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:29:10 – The production really blew their budget on that vomit effect. No wonder it took 90 minutes to get to it.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:29:19 – Is it me or did Tangerine seem to be enjoying that?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:30:25 – They seriously just dropped the “It’s not worth it” line when Dodger was beating up the bully.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:31:30 – “I don’t think you’re pretty any more.” Yeah, I’m into dudes now. Don’t you notice the sparkly bow tie?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:32:00 – How is the garbage pail any different from the State Home for the Ugly?
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:33:00 – This is just surreal.
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:33:18 – “Its ok dodger, I’ve been stuck in tighter places than this” Like Dodger’s ass?
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:33:25 – And the GPKs are released. Great moral!
AronDej: #garbagepailtweet 1:33:55 – Only a world hating monster would let those things roam the earth.
kevincarr: #garbagepailtweet 1:34:00 – And ROLL CREDITS!
kevincarr: Final thoughts on THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE. Put it back in Pandora’s garbage pail! Too much bodily fluid humor, even for me!
kevincarr: A big thanks to @AronDej for joining in on the #garbagepailtweet. I hate you for recommending it. 
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Tags: Garbage Pail Kids, Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie, Live-Tweet
