Kevin Live-Tweets ‘The Grinch’ (2002)

On December 19, Kevin watched Ron Howard’s big-screen adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas, released on Blu-ray for this holiday season. He watched it with his kids, but live-tweeted it to maintain his sanity. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.

     


Now it’s time to watch Ron Howard’s THE GRINCH with the kids… and to live-tweet for sanity’s sake.

Kudos to Unviersal for making THE GRINCH a BD/DVD combo pack, which adds value. (WB is now making this a standard practice, btw.)

Pressing PLAY on THE GRINCH.

GRINCH 01:30 – Hannibal Lecter is narrating the movie.

GRINCH 02:20 – Wow. Already the movie is ear-bleeding obnoxious, and Jim Carrey hasn’t even shown up yet.

GRINCH 02:40 – There’s the token black Who.

GRINCH 03:40 – In the original story, the Whos were all about the spirit of X-mas….

…In this movie, they’re all about buying crap like the the redneck Wal-Mart on black Friday.

GRINCH 06:30 – The Grinch is now dressed like a Jedi Donnie Darko rabbit.

GRINCH 09:20 – Cindy Lou Who already has waaaaaay too much screen time.

GRINCH 11:00 – Are these the same Whos from HORTON HEARS A WHO?

GRINCH 13:50 – Don’t get your hopes up, Cindy Lou… The Grinch saved you not because he’s nice, but becasue he’s on parole.

GRINCH 14:55 – Oh God help us all… Christine Baranski in a Santa Baby short shirt. (I just threw up in my mouth)

GRINCH 16:00 – The Grinch’s reign of terror includes some prank phone calls? WTF?

GRINCH 17:50 – Is the Grinch an analogy for homeless people? i think so.

GRINCH 19:20 – The anti-commercial message in this film is a tad lost in the massive $120+M budget and the $345M global box office.

GRINCH 21:10 – The Grinch’s heart has shrunk a size and a half. He’s a homeless man with congenital heart failure. And he’s shunned.

GRINCH 25:00 – The Grinch makes one uuuuuuuugly baby. Even uglier than the Olsen Twins on FULL HOUSE.

GRINCH 25:45 – Holy guacamole! The Whos are having a key party. Well, I guess it *was* the 60s. Tho kinda odd for a kids movie.

GRINCH 27:15 – Martha May Who had a thing for the Grinch in school. She’s into the avacado love.

GRINCH 30:35 – The Whos should consider themselves lucky that the Grinch went into seclusion rather than becoming a serial killer.

GRINCH 32:50 – Why does the Grinch look pregnant?

GRINCH 34:00 – So in this version, the Whos are just a bunch of a-holes.

GRINCH 40:20 – I’m convinced that Jim Carrey thought he was doing Hamlet-worthy acting in THE GRINCH. Also convinced that no one else did.

GRINCH 43:50 – It’s all fun and games until Cindy Lou Who breaks her neck and the Grinch is tried for manslaughter.

GRINCH 47:00 – My favorite character in this movie… Max the dog, by a mile.

GRINCH 47:55 – Dear God in heaven… another Christine Baranski boob shot. Is there no mercy?

GRINCH 49:00 – These old surrogate mothers for the Grinch nursed him? After the key party? This movie is so filled with horrid sexual ideas.

GRINCH 50:00 – The “Who Pudding Cook Off”… After the key party, I don’t want to know what’s in teh Who Pudding.

GRINCH 52:45 – The Christmas shave??? So the Mayor is envious of the Grinch’s green pubescent nature?

GRINCH 54:10 – Was the Grinch scratching the car to get everyone’s attention an homage to Quint from JAWS???

GRINCH 54:40 – The Grinch is revealing the Whos’ garbage secrets. If he starts talking about their used condoms and porno mags, I’m leaving.

GRINCH 56:30 – So the Grinch is also an arsonist. This movie could get really ugly were it any good.

GRINCH 58:10 – The Michael Bay explosion? Was that necessary? Is this movie necessary?

GRINCH 1:00:00 – We are an hour in, and there’s no stealing Christmas yet. Get with the program!

GRINCH 1;02:45 – The Grinch theme song… I liked it better when Tony the Tiger sang it.

GRINCH 1:07:45 – Wait… If he’s got a massive gas-powered sleigh, why does the Grinch need a reindeer-dog?

GRINCH 1;08:20 – “I’m going to throw up. And then I’m going to die.” That’s not just a movie quote. It’s a review of the film.

GRINCH 1:13:15 – This Cindy Lou Who scene made more sense in the original animated film without the hour of set-up.

GRINCH 1:15:35 – What’s amazing about Christine Baranski in this movie is that she didn’t need any make-up to look like a Who.

GRINCH 1:17:50 – “He rode with his load to the tip top to dump it.” Yeah, this movie dumps a load all right.

GRINCH 1:21:25 – There’s still like 25 minutes left in this movie. Isn’t this the end, tho?

GRINCH 1:25:00 – From a medical standpoint, having your heart enlarge like that, especially that quickly, would kill you.

GRINCH 1:27:00 – The Grinch learning the true meaning of Christmas is putting me to sleep. If only the Grinch were really bruning insdie.

GRINCH 1:28:55 – Wait! What the hell is Cindy Lou Who doing on that sleigh??? Drop her off of Mount Crumpit, I say!

GRINCH 1:32:15 – This movie quite simply knows not where it should end.

GRINCH 1:33:30 – The Grinch says he’s sorry for stealing Christmas. Does it make all the vandalism okay?

GRINCH 1:35:40 – I’m just waiting for someone to insist that the Grinch actually wear some pants.

GRINCH 1:36:30 – And the Grinch got to carve the roast beast. Is that a euphanism to him banging Christine Baranski?

GRINCH 1:38:00 – And ROLL CREDITS!

Final thoughts on Ron Howard’s THE GRINCH… I liked every part of Chuck Jones’ television special better… in every way.

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  • http://www.fatguysatthemovies.com/2009/12/12-days-of-fatmas-day-7/ Fat Guys At The Movies » Archive » 12 Days of Fatmas – Day 7

    [...] Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas Rated PG Studio: Universal Release date: October 13, 2009 Formats available: DVD & Blu-ray/DVD Combo Pack Kevin says Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas kinda sucks! Movie: ** Blu-ray experience: ***1/2 Check out Kevin’s live-tweet of Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas. [...]

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