Kevin’s Live-Tweet of ‘2012 Supernova’
On November 12, Kevin faced the apocalypse with the Asylum’s 2012 Supernova, a knock-off of this weekend’s disaster flick 2012. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.
Turkey #4 is… “2012: SUPERNOVA,” The Asylum’s not-so-subtle grab at Roland Emmerich’s 2012. #kevincarrtweetsturkeys
2012 SUPERNOVA 00;20 – Starts 200 years ago in another galaxy… or “not so long ago in a galaxy not too far away.”
2012 SUPERNOVA 01:15 – And it stars with a supernova. Well, at least that’s accurate to the title.
2012 SUPERNOVA 01:50 – And the supernova blew up our satellite. Whoda thunk it?
2012 SUPERNOVA 03:10 – The Transformers are falling from the sky!… erm… wrong mvoie.
2012 SUPERNOVA 04:30 – This NASA mission control looks suspiciouslly like the control room in the MEGA SHARK VS GIANT OCTOPUS submarine.
2012 SUPERNOVA 05:00 – So far the Russian accents in this movie are no more or less realistic than in the real 2012 movie.
2012 SUPERNOVA 05:40 – The stock footage is so cheap, they’re using 16mm film clips of the space shuttle c. 1980
2012 SUPERNOVA 06:35 – Forget ripping off 2012. This scene looks suspiciously like a sequence from RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN
2012 SUPERNOVA 07:30 – Brian Krause… is this a higher or lower point in his career than SLEEPWALKERS?
2012 SUPERNOVA 08:55 – Erm, yeah… shooting wood that’s falling on you always does the trick
2012 SUPERNOVA 10:00 – Looks like they’re passing through an interrogation room from BURN NOTICE
2012 SUPERNOVA 12:30 – “One month. One way or anothe, it’ll all be over.” We could be dead, but it will all be over.
2012 SUPERNOVA 13:00 – That tall, creepy agent… I don’t think that’s his real voice.
2012 SUPERNOVA 13:30 – What’s up with the Phantasm music?
2012 SUPERNOVA 14:25 – “The People’s Republic of Vodka.” I now apologize to all the Russians out there for this movie.
2012 SUPERNOVA 15:50 – So the solution is to blow up nukes in space? Where have I heard that before?
2012 SUPERNOVA 16:15 – Is that space station made out of jello?
2012 SUPERNOVA 17:55 – You’d think NASA could put a vending machine in that break room.
2012 SUPERNOVA 19:30 – A news report about Mt. Vesuvius erupting… not as exciting as actually showing the eruption in the movie.
2012 SUPERNOVA 20:55 – At last! An earthquake. Finally some action outside of a junk yard.
2012 SUPERNOVA 21:40 – This is the best Russian they could come up with? He looks like Guido Sarducci after a long night of partying.
2012 SUPERNOVA 23:45 – Road cracking and opening up. That’s pretty awesome. And boulders as well. Kewl.
2012 SUPERNOVA 25:00 – The desert is burning. Good thing it’s surrounded by rocks.
2012 SUPERNOVA 26:15 – More 16mm stock footage from the 80s… you ain’t convincing me boys.
2012 SUPERNOVA 27:30 – They’re upset about the fact the shuttle won’t deliver the warheads,but not upset at the warheads falling to earth?
2012 SUPERNOVA 28:10 – Pluto just bit the dust. Mickey, Donald and Goofy are very sad.
2012 SUPERNOVA 29:30 – “Please… we need to concentrate on Moose and Squirrel!”
2012 SUPERNOVA 31:10 – That last scene of dialogue could be replaced with a simple, “Ho’s before bros.”
2012 SUPERNOVA 32:15 – Like the real 2012 movie, any time someone is on the phone, you can go to the bathroom. Nothing happens.
2012 SUPERNOVA 34:45 – I refuse to make the obligatory comment about women drivers at this piont.
2012 SUPERNOVA 36:45 – Don’t touch anything metal… erm, I’m in a car right now, aren’t I?
2012 SUPERNOVA 37:20 – The weather is beautiful outside the passenger seat. Where’s the lightning coming from?
2012 SUPERNOVA 40:40 – That is the coolest picture of a lighthouse I’ve ever seen. Complete with retina scan!
2012 SUPERNOVA 41:40 – Again, a new report of a 7.2 earthquake hitting L.A. isn’t nearly as cool as seeing it happen.
2012 SUPERNOVA 42:40 – Wait a minute! The Ninjas know about the end of the world too?
2012 SUPERNOVA 46:40 – That crazy Russian scientists probably wouldn’t smell so bad if he showered *before* he got there 2 days ago.
2012 SUPERNOVA 47:50 – Now Jupiter is toast, or rather its moons. Poor Jupiter.
2012 SUPERNOVA 48:40 – This creepy Jethro farmer found two hot chicks in his barn. He’s thinking, “Score!”
2012 SUPERNOVA 50:40 – Again, just like Emmerich’s 2012, if someone’s on the phone, it’s time to zone out.
2012 SUPERNOVA 52:30 – Aaaaaaand Jethro decides to go for the creepy stereotype.
2012 SUPERNOVA 55:00 – For an action movie, there’s a lot of people looking at computer screens.
2012 SUPERNOVA 55:55 – Yes, finally a desert tornado! More disaster for the small screen.
2012 SUPERNOVA 56:20 – What is it with this lady driving on the side of the raod?
2012 SUPERNOVA 57:10 – Tumbleweeds? Seriously, tumbleweeds are still rolling around this desert?
2012 SUPERNOVA 57:40 – Erm… I guess we’ll just fade out and end the scene. SFX went over budget apparently.
2012 SUPERNOVA 58:50 – Faking an earthquake only works when *all* the actors stumble around.
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:00:45 – Seriously? Are you implying that the mad Russian is the ninja?
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:01:30 – The ladies are paying a visit to Mr. Fox’s tree. (Only people who have seen Fantastic Mr. Fox will get this)
@AronDej Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:05:55 – Actually, this movie is somewhat accurate…at the end of the world, there’d be a lot of people just sitting around
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:06:55 – Again with the inside/outside of the magnetosphere. This is the great debate of this movie.
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:08:10 – The crucial plot point of this movie is being demonstrated with paper plates and day-old coffe. ETF?
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:09:40 – I know why the space shuttle keeps failing in this movie. They’re facing sideways!
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:12:10 – You ran out of gas??? WTF? Good thing it happened right in front of an abandoned gas truck.
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:13:30 – Shouldn’t they be wearing space suits, since they’re in space and all. Flight suits won’t work in a vacuum.
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:14:50 – Wait! The mad Russian’s name is Jizzinski??? Guess kids made fun of him in school.
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:18:20 – Major Tom to Ground Control… all hell has broken loose
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:19:15 – It’s a Bruce Willis ARMAGEDDON moment!
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:21:40 – Apparently Huggie Bear is the bearer of good news today.
2012 SUPERNOVA 1:23:20 – And ROLL CREDITS! Coulda used some John Cusack and Woody Harrelson.
Final thoughts on 2012 SUPERNOVA … Impressive production from The Asylum, but could have had more actual action scenes.
Thanks to @AronDej for braving another turkey in a late-night live-tweet.
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Tags: 2012, 2012 Supernova, Brian Krause, The Asylum
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Kevin Carr crawled from the primordial ooze in the 1970s. He grew up watching movies to the point of irritation for his friends. He was a font of useless movie knowledge until he decided to put that knowledge to good use. He is now a professional film critic read worldwide, much to the chagrin of Michael Bay.