Kevin’s Live-Tweet of ‘Zombie’
On October 10, Kevin live-tweeted Lucio Fulci’s 1979 classic movie of the undead, Zombie (also known as Zombi 2). Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.
ZOMBIE 00:30 – Already has the feeling of an undead spaghetti western. And it’s just the credits.
ZOMBIE 02:00 – And there’s the World Trade Center. Nothing funny on that line. Just an observation.
ZOMBIE 02:45 – Was this ghost ship sailing into the NY harbor an homage to the original DRACULA novel? Looks like it to me.
ZOMBIE 04:00 – “Ahoy there”??? does the harbor patrol really say “Ahoy there”? In NYC, no less? Meh, it was the 70s.
ZOMBIE 05:00 – So that little old dude with the stick is the only thing holding the harbor patrol next to the boat?
ZOMBIE 05:45 – “Sorry. The winch is broken.” Or, the wench is broken. Only one will heal on its own.
ZOMBIE 06:45 – Can you lend me a hand?
ZOMBIE 07:45 – Do fat zombies float?
ZOMBIE 07:50 – Stupid harbor patrol dude. Unloads all his bullets in a zombie’s chest. Hasn’t he seen any zombie movies?
ZOMBIE 09:15 – “Keep the British out of your prose.” I don’t even know what that means. I hope the news editor gets eaten.
ZOMBIE 10:00 – This is a might bit traumatic to bring the gal into the boat of the dead to interrogate her.
ZOMBIE 10:30 – Apparently Jack Valenti got fat, traveled through time and started working for the NYPD
ZOMBIE 11:30 – “Due to a huge laceration to the jugular”? You mean the giant bite mark in the neck?
ZOMBIE 12:40 – According to the sound effect track, a tiny plane just landed on the zombie’s hand. Gotta love Italian music tracks.
ZOMBIE 14:45 – “Don’t scream. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” I’m just attacking you on your boat. I’m a reporter, after all.
ZOMBIE 15:45 – Message of the movie: New York Harbor Patrol is incompetent.
ZOMBIE 16:30 – “Now just do what I tell you.”… take off your panties. Trust me. I’m a reporter.
ZOMBIE 17:15 – Wah wah wah wah… people making out at murder scenes is funny!
ZOMBIE 17:45 – Ad libbing about box cars and bananas. WTF?
ZOMBIE 19:15 – Typical 70s era space-age design intended to look futuristic, but looking retro even for the day.
ZOMBIE 19:55 – Stop the disco and cue the kettle drums. That’s how we know we’re in the tropics and no longer in NYC.
ZOMBIE 20:15 – did he seriously just ask a cab driver in the tropics if he knew where he could rent a boat. Brilliant journalism.
ZOMBIE 21:30 – Whoa! Nip slip from the boat driver’s wife.
ZOMBIE 22:45 – “I was born on a boat.” That doesn’t mean you know anything about boats. I was born in a hospital, but I’m not a surgeon.
ZOMBIE 23:45 – How you can tell this is an Italian movie. All dudes are old and bearded. All ladies are hot and sexy. I wish I was Italian.
ZOMBIE 24:40 – Why did the music track go from kettle drums to tribal drums? Why am I asking these questions of 70s Italian horror/
ZOMBIE 26:00 – Bitch slap #1. Who does this guy think he is? James Bond in DR. NO?
ZOMBIE 26:50 – 1st mention of the word “zombie.” Less than a minute after the first bitch slap. Coincidence?
ZOMBIE 29:15 – Well, either he’s going to inject himself with something related to zombies, or he’s taking smack. Either way, he’s screwed.
ZOMBIE 30:45 – Dude. If you’re gonna bother to wear a shirt (in the style of George Lucas plaid), at least button it up.
ZOMBIE 31:30 – 1st a camel toe. Then her boobies. Then her thong. God bless you, Lucio Fulci!
ZOMBIE 32:20 – Is it just me, or does it look like that SCUBA gear is going to chafe her twat?
ZOMBIE 33:30 – I love the fact this hot chick is wearing a bathing cap, but no top. Not complaining… just noticing.
ZOMBIE 34:20 – Like @AronDej, I am really into this almost naked chick SCUBA diving.
ZOMBIE 34:55 – That 8-ft shark just rammed the boat and almost capsized it. How is that even possible?
ZOMBIE 35:50 – I’m pretty sure I won’t see this in the ESTHER WILLIAMS COLLECTION I have to watch in the next week or so.
ZOMBIE 36:00 – yeah, I’m pretty sure I just saw her pubes.
ZOMBIE 36:25 – No one will be seated during the breathtaking zombie vs shark scene.
ZOMBIE 37:00 – I just can’t help but wonder what the shark was thinking through this scene. “Why is this dude trying to eat *me*?”
ZOMBIE 40:30 – I think the Asylum should make the film MEGA SHARK VS. ZOMBIE OCTOPUS
ZOMBIE 41:10 – Crazy chick with excessive eye make-up showering around mirrors and open windows = awesome.
ZOMBIE 43:30 – Cripes! How big is that mumu that lady’s wearing? Did she borrow it from Ethel Merman?
ZOMBIE 45:00 – Zombie films have taught us that zombies are excellent at breaking through doors. They work for Bob Villa.
ZOMBIE 45:55 – What’s worse than a zombie attack? A poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
ZOMBIE 47:00 – How long were they out on that boat? Didn’t a whole night pass? And it looks like El Nino hit the beach.
ZOMBIE 48:30 – Awwww…. a bunny and a… dead body? Who keeps their rabbit hutch hear their dead bodies?
ZOMBIE 49:40 – Why are they firing off flares? They’re like 100 yards from the shore.
ZOMBIE 51:10 – Don’t fill in the mass grave yet because 2 more are going to die soon? Do we need to conserve mass grave space now?
ZOMBIE 53:30 – Why is an Omar Sharif look-alike giving a speech? Not really sure.
ZOMBIE 54:30 – There must have been a sale on bedsheets. This guy’s wasting them on wrapping up perfectly good zombies.
ZOMBIE 55:40 – That donkey doesn’t seem to be bothered in the least by this zombie shenanigans.
ZOMBIE 56:30 – How big is this freaking island? They’ve been driving for miles.
ZOMBIE 57:15 – Why do are the dudes in this movie showing more chest than the ladies. That’s just not right.
ZOMBIE 58:15 – There’s the “only other white man on the island.” Apparently the white nurse doesn’t count.
ZOMBIE 1:00:20 – “There’s something fishy about him.” Well, he does live near the ocean.
ZOMBIE 1:00:50 – “Doesn’t seem like anyone’s at home. What should we do now?” “Might as well go inside.” Tell that to the judge.
ZOMBIE 1:01:45 – Oh don’t mind me. I’m just having a little snack. It’s a zombie buffet.
ZOMBIE 1:02:30 – Why does it always take people so long to run in zombie movies? Do they just need to drink in the terror?
ZOMBIE 1:03:30 – Apparently it’s a lot easier to shoot zombies if they are wrapped up like gorditas.
ZOMBIE 1:04:50 – If everyone’s dead or undead on the island, where is that drumming coming from.
ZOMBIE 1:05:20 – The Zach Galifinakis look-alike just seems annoyed with comforting his girlfriend.
ZOMBIE 1:07:20 – A rusty old conquistador helmet??? How does that relate to zombies?
ZOMBIE 1:08:40 – Zombies hot on your trail? Let’s take a nap… but maybe have sex first… right on a zombie grave, no less.
ZOMBIE 1:09:20 – Zach Galifinakis to the rescue!
ZOMBIE 1:10:00 – Rule #1 people. Cardio!
ZOMBIE 1:10:30 – Look lady, if you’re not going to even stand up when the zombie comes after you, you deserve to have your throat eaten.
ZOMBIE 1:11:00 – Great Caesar’s ghost! Zach Galifinakis is wearing a DAILY PLANET T-shirt.
ZOMBIE 1:20:00 – Moral of this story… don’t nap and have sex on 400-yr-old conquistador graves that might contain zombies.
ZOMBIE 1:12:40 – These new zombies are a little late for the party. They must have been drunk last night and slept thru the alarm.
ZOMBIE 1:14:10 – Made it to the crappy hospital and exclaimed, “We’ve done it!” Wouldn’t “doing it” mean getting off the f-ing island?
ZOMBIE 1:14:50 – Whoa. That’s what Paris Hilton is going to look like in a few years.
ZOMBIE 1:15:30 – Holy pig knuckles! That’s more than a sprained ankle. Sprained ankles generally don’t include open wounds.
ZOMBIE 1:17:15 – Does that include scientology?
ZOMBIE 1:17:50 – “You two stay where you are. Watch those windows.” And apparently get eaten if the zombies get here.
ZOMBIE 1:18:25 – As goofy as this movie is, the zombie killin’ moments are unforgettably awesome. Shovel TO THE FACE!
ZOMBIE 1:19:00 – Okay! Who was in charge of closing the windows? I think they missed one. Zach Galifinakis, I’m talking to you!
ZOMBIE 1:19:30 – Come on Zach Galifinakis, aim for the head!
ZOMBIE 1:20:30 – that must be a zombie ninja because he was able to sneak up on them so easily. Either that or they’re stupid.
ZOMBIE 1:22:00 – Nice one, Zach Galifinakis. Send the women down to the zombie basement to get kerosene. What a gentlemen.
ZOMBIE 1:22:40 – Generally, it’s a bad idea to throw molotov cocktails in the building where you’re hiding. Kinda defeats the purpose.
ZOMBIE 1:23:30 – Hey, was that Ross Perot?
ZOMBIE 1:23:50 – After trial and error, Zach Galifinakis still hasn’t learned to shoot them in the head.
ZOMBIE 1;25:30 – Hot naked SCUBA chick back as a zombie. And Zach Galifinakis doesn’t run. Idiot.
ZOMBIE 1:27:00 – And Zach Galifinakis changed out of his Daily Planet shirt, but keeps his button-down open. Why is he not a zombie yet?
ZOMBIE 1:28:00 – “He’s dead.” Uh, and going to turn into a zombie. Duh. Throw him overboard.
ZOMBIE 1:29:30 – Nice twist at the end. Not unpredictable, but kinda interesting.
ZOMBIE 1:30:10 – Cue funky dance music, and ROLL CREDITS!
Big thanks to @AronDej for joining me on the live-tweet of ZOMBIE. That was fun.
Follow Kevin on…
Related Reading
Tags: Live-Tweet, Lucio Fulci, Zombi 2, Zombie
Neil Miller is the Publisher and Executive Editor of 
Kevin Carr crawled from the primordial ooze in the 1970s. He grew up watching movies to the point of irritation for his friends. He was a font of useless movie knowledge until he decided to put that knowledge to good use. He is now a professional film critic read worldwide, much to the chagrin of Michael Bay.
