Kevin’s Live-Tweet of ‘Waxwork’
On October 13, Kevin live-tweeted the 1988 film Waxwork, starring Zach Galligan, the teen heart-throb of Gremlins. Here’s a log, complete with time-code for your home-viewing pleasure.
A big thanks to @d_levy for recommending the film.
WAXWORK 00:15 – The movie opens with a cover of the big band selection SING SING SING. Not exactly terrifying.
WAXWORK 01:30 – That guy being burned alive in the fireplace looked suspiciously like Glenn Beck. Some might not consider that horror.
WAXWORK 02:45 – “Now drink your milk. You’ll be late for college.” Consider the overbearing rich mother characterized.
WAXWORK 04:30 – Was that a Tears for Fears song I just heard in the soundtrack? Talk about a blast from the past.
WAXWORK 05:00 – Holy Klingon/Romulan/Cardassian, Batman! There’s David Warner!
WAXWORK 06:15 – Back to the Tears for Fears song. They only had enough money for one song, I guess.
WAXWORK 06:45 – This history teacher is way too excited about the Nazi victories. Are you allowed to fly a Nazi flag at this college?
WAXWORK 07:45 – This movie also stars Deborah Foreman from VALLEY GIRL fame. She’s a cutie, even though she’s a 30-year-old HS student.
WAXWORK 09:50 – Michelle Johnson’s bleach blondehair and dark eyebrows turns me on. I don’t know why.
WAXWORK 11:15 – I know it was a sign of the times, but any movie with an 80s synth soundtrack is instantly not very scary.
WAXWORK 12:15 – Would you go to a private event at a creepy wax museum. All the cool kids are doing it. (note: cool = 80s dorks)
WAXWORK 13:20 – Deborah Foreman is holding Michelle Johnson’s hand. I do not judge, and I find that awesome.
WAXWORK 14:10 – This is the creepiest midget in a horror movie since POLTERGEIST.
WAXWORK 15:45 – Holy crap! That waxwork display looks like it’s a lumberjack killing Jim Parsons from THE SIGNAL. #jimparsonsisawesome
WAXWORK 16:50 – All snarking aside, I really want to go to a wax museum now. Gotta see if there are any near Columbus.
WAXWORK 18:00 – A wax museum with time/space portals. Either that, or the drugs in the 80s were *that* good.
WAXWORK 20:40 – What’s amazing about the set design of this movie is that all the sets are so cheap they look like a wax museum
WAXWORK 22:45 – That werewolf looks less like a wolf and more like Don King with bad dentures.
WAXWORK 23:35 – I’m crushing your head! Crush… crush… crush… crush!
WAXWORK 24:50 – The moral of this theme is “Don’t Smoke.” (he would have never stepped into the exhibit if he hadn’t dropped his lighter.)
WAXWORK 26:10 – This girl is so horny, she’s literally going to make out with a wax figure.
WAXWORK 28:15 – This lady’s dress has so many feathers on it, you’d think she was at the 2009 Oscars. (hint: lots of feather dresses this yr
WAXWORK 29:30 – Aw come on… just because you’re vampires doesn’t mean you have to be slobs. Use a napkin, for pete’s sake.
WAXWORK 31:55 – All you Twiligher posers out there have to admit that this movie paved the way for Edward Cullen.
WAXWORK 33:30 – Apparently having your eviscerated won’t make you scream, but an rat eating your foot… that’s another story.
WAXWORK 35:20 – Gut stabbing a vampire never works. But 2 ginsu knives in the form of a crucifix… instant vampire explosion.
WAXWORK 36:40 – This is the bloodiest shower sequence that I’ve seen since CARRIE (and you thought I was gonna say PSYCHO)
WAXWORK 38:45 – Even though VALLEY GIRL was made like 2 yrs before this, Deborah Foreman like she could be a MILF instead of a student.
WAXWORK 41:00 – I know cowboys play harmonicas by the camp fire, but greasers playing harmonicas by a phone booth? That’s just weird.
WAXWORK 43:55 – Sorry, Zach Galligan… smoking makes you look even less cool.
WAXWORK 45:00 – Because 1988’s audiences demanded it, we have an eyeful of Zach Galligan in a bathrobe and nothing else.
WAXWORK 46:30 – Why is it there are always a steady stream of prostitutes parading through any police station.
WAXWORK 46:55 – The police detective wearing a bright mustard-yellow coat. Either he’s a Century21 relator or a relative of Dwight Schrute
WAXWORK 48:45 – I wish someone would bring back the fashions of the 80s. They made you look fat and skinny at the same time.
WAXWORK 53:30 – This is the part in the movie where you’d go get popcorn.
WAXWORK 54:00 – What is this girl next door’s obsession with the Marquis de Sade? She’s the catch of the town.
WAXWORK 56:00 – Only a movie geek like myself would find it odd that they’re in the Mummy exhibit, and they’re playing the Dracula theme.
WAXWORK 57:20 – The mummy just “Whoa…” Almost sounded like Keanu Reeves.
WAXWORK 57:45 – Second head-crushing scene of the movie. Makes up for the surfer dude mummy.
WAXWORK 59:00 – The only way these people can’t out-run this mummy is by not… moving… at… all.
WAXWORK 1:00:00 – I think someone should make an epic horror action movie starring Zach Galligan and William Ragsdale (fr Fright Night)
WAXWORK 1:04:15 – ZGalligan ain’t happy that evil souls will come back to life. Deborah Foreman, however, is moist for the Marquis de Sade
WAXWORK 1:05:00 – Oooooh… Patrick McNee is helpful… yet totally EVIL! (I kinda like him evil.)
WAXWORK 1:05:45 – He’s gotta burn down a whole wax museum, and he just brought two sterno canisters?
WAXWORK 1:07:45 – This Marquis de Sade is a total freak… but you know that already, didn’t you? Looks like DForeman’s getting her wish.
WAXWORK 1:09:30 – You can totally see up DForeman’s nose. I can tell she’s got a deviated septum and no allergies.
WAXWORK 1:10:20 – With ZGalligan going into a zombie exhibit, he’s suddenly in B&W like NOTLD… even though the exhibit is in color.
WAXWORK 1:10:50 – Lend you a hand? (You can guess what just happened)
WAXWORK 1:16:40 – She’s not going to trust you unless you promise to beat her every night. Like I said, the catch of the town.
WAXWORK 1:19:20 – Ahhhhh… the 80s. When dangling earrings on dudes were considered cool.
WAXWORK 1:20:00 – Jim Parsons from THE SIGNAL rises from the dead!
WAXWORK 1:21:10 – Wait! That’s the snakeman from DREAMSCAPE. Obscure reference, but awesome movie!
WAXWORK 1:21:50 – Apparently all the British folks in town just showed up to save the day.
WAXWORK 1:22:30 – The Marquis de Sade could fight way more effectively if he didn’t have such faaaaabulous hair.
WAXWORK 1:23:30 – The Marquis de Sade now thinks he’s in the next PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN movie.
WAXWORK 1:25:00 – All these dead bodies are going to be hard to explain to the police, amid the stead stream of prostitutes at the station.
WAXWORK 1:26:15 – Dracula just got his ass handed to him with a quote from DIRTY HARRY. Probably won’t see that ever again.
WAXWORK 1:29:00 – How does a rich kid from the suburbs expect to defeat the Marquis de Sade in sword fighting? Fencing classes paid off.
WAXWORK 1:29:45 – Ow! That hatchet that just barely penetrated my leather coat apparently hit a vital organ.
WAXWORK 1:31:30 – Third head-crushing scene of the film. Bravo!
WAXWORK 1:32:10 – And we’ll end the movie with the worst optical effect ever created to make the miniature castle look like it’s burning
WAXWORK 1:33:30 – We’re left open for a sequel with 50’s pop music as we ROLL CREDITS!
Final word on WAXWORK: Fun 80s cheese with some creative kills, but could have used some nudity for all the S&M scenes.
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Tags: David Warner, Deborah Foreman, Live-Tweet, Michelle Johnson, Waxwork, Zach Galligan
Neil Miller is the Publisher and Executive Editor of 
Kevin Carr crawled from the primordial ooze in the 1970s. He grew up watching movies to the point of irritation for his friends. He was a font of useless movie knowledge until he decided to put that knowledge to good use. He is now a professional film critic read worldwide, much to the chagrin of Michael Bay.
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